Look Where You Are, See Where You're Going

By Jim Leligdon

Do you struggle with communicating clearly, low self esteem, a lack of contentment, asking for help, embracing technology, or coping with change? These are just some of the areas in life where we create challenges due to our own perceived limitations. The 12 sections in this book each explore a different perceived limitation. You'll be taken on an emotional journey through author Jim Leligdon's real life experiences and the perspectives they helped create. Each entry is followed by a series of questions to help you reflect on and examine your own life experiences, personal feelings, perspectives, and goals for success.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 22, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098346355

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Copyright © 2020, Jim Leligdon

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without prior written permission.

To request permission, contact the author: [e-mail]

Paperback: ISBN 978-1-09834-634-8

Ebook: ISBN 978-1-09834-635-5

Edited by:

Barbara Leligdon, Larry Lawrence, Melanie Ward, and Monica Lee

Cover art by:

Nick Leligdon

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

GETTING STARTED

1: Look Where You Are

2: Whichever One’s Moving

3: Get With the Program

4: Cooking With Gas

SELF REFLECTION

5: What Do You See In Your Mirror?

6: Happy New... Ice Maker

7: The Freedom to Let Go

8: Angry Birds

9: Next Stop... Alcatraz

PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE

10: A Question of Perspective

11: What’s Your Blind Spot?

12: What’s Your Expression?

13: Does Your Meter Work?

14: What Price Tag?

15: What Is Your Caruncle?

SELF ESTEEM

16: The V.I.P. Treatment

17: What Is Your DOG?

18: Talking Nonsense in a Cessna

19: It’s All About That... Door

CONFIDENCE

20: Spring Training

21: Sing For Your Supper

22: Too Sexy For My Car... Maintenance

23: I Can Do This

CONTENTMENT

24: First Class Frustration

25: The Sweetest Day

26: Happy Other Days

27: The Weight of Success

APPRECIATION

28: The Voice of Appreciation

29: An Eye for Detail

30: Taking Time Off

31: The Best Seat in the House

ASKING FOR HELP

32: I Help You?

33: The Car Pool Lane

34: Running On Empty?

35: The Accommodation Wave

CHANGE

36: A Step in the Right Direction

37: Seasons Change

38: Is Change Scary?

39: The Carousel of Progress

40: The New Normal

TECHNOLOGY

41: Shopping My APP Off

42: If You Want To Go... Go

43: Learning To Read... Again

44: Terrified of Technology?

COMMUNICATION

45: Do You Need a Wheelchair?

46: Listen Before You Leap

47: Gather At the Table

48: Dining In the Dark

SUCCESS

49: Looking For Signs

50: The TEE to Success

51: Mastering Golf

52: One Hail of a Success Strategy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

INTRODUCTION

May I see your license?

When I turned 16, my twin brother John got his driver’s license, my grandfather’s car, and perceived freedom. While I didn’t get my driver’s license, I did get permanent dibs on shotgun and my first real lesson in perceived limitations. This was the first time I’d ever been told that I was Legally blind. What did that even mean? Growing up, there were people who said you can’t do this and you can’t do that, but those were just opinions. This was ... a law. Well, I found out that if you have less than 20/200 vision with corrective lenses, you are considered legally blind. Even I see the rationale for that law (pun intended). However, to a 16 year old, that translates to, You can’t get a driver’s license, and that’s a huge limitation, or is it?

All my life, I fought to be like my twin, and this time, no matter how hard I fought, how much I cried, how frustrated I became, I could not change my physical situation. At times I felt bitter, angry, even defeated. The way through this was to realize that the lack of a license was really only a perceived limitation, and only if I let it be. Could I work? Sure, I just had to work close enough to home, so I could walk. Could I visit my friends? Yes, once I learned the neighborhood, and which house was theirs. Could I get to and from college without my parents coming to get me? Yup! Go Greyhound, and leave the driving to us. That’s what the jingle said, and I did... leave the driving to everyone else.

Some would say that without a license, you can’t get anywhere. I’ve actually discovered tremendous transportation opportunities: family, friends, taxis, limos, airplanes, trains, buses, and ride-share apps. I’ve had conversations and experiences that I would have missed if I had been traveling alone. Besides, not driving allows me the real freedom to do so much more because I don’t have to be distracted by driving. I can make phone calls, have conversations, work, and write speeches or music or commercials. By the way, if I’m riding with you, you focus on driving, and I’ll take care of the radio, the phone, and the GPS.

May I see your license... to navigate beyond your perceived limitations? By opening our eyes to see beyond the words I can’t, we are free to focus our time and energy living in gratitude for all that we are able to do.

This book is about helping you navigate beyond your perceived limitations. Born blind, and with only some of my sight surgically restored, I’m still learning how to navigate mine, and on the way I’d like to help you navigate yours. Each of us has some type of perceived limitation, and some are more obvious than others. Every day provides us with life lessons, if we really look for them.

Each of the twelve sections of this book focuses on a different perceived limitation with which you may or may not be struggling. Each section contains chapters in which I share personal experiences and the lessons I’ve learned through them. At the end of each chapter, there are Lighthouse Questions. These guiding questions will help you to reflect on those lessons by looking at your own life, making decisions about your future, adapting behaviors, and taking actions to more clearly navigate your perceived limitations starting today.

Some Lighthouse Questions ask about your goals. It’s your choice to focus on personal or professional goals. You also decide on the timing of your goals. Will you strive to achieve that goal today, this week, this month, or this year? Your focus and timing may vary based on the context of the specific chapter in which the question is asked.

Speaking of timing, how slowly or quickly you move through this book is up to you. For example, you could pace yourself by exploring one chapter per week. That may seem a bit slow as it would take you one year to complete this book. I encourage you to select a comfortable pace allowing yourself the opportunity to really reflect on your answers to each set of Lighthouse Questions before moving to the next chapter. Take your time, and enjoy the journey.

GETTING STARTED

1: Look Where You Are

Have you ever thought about what it means to have 20/20 vision? From 20 feet away you can clearly read signs and see other things that are 20 feet away.

By comparison, I’ve got 20/300 vision (with corrective lenses), so I need to be a lot closer to see things clearly. From 20 feet away, I can clearly see what most people can see from 300 feet away. To clarify (pun intended), in the United States, anyone with a central visual acuity of 20/200 or lower, even with corrective lenses, is considered Legally blind.

In this book, I’ll share stories of situations I’ve experienced and challenges I’ve overcome as I’ve traveled alone for work. However, my first trip of 2020 provided me something different... a kind of clarity that goes far beyond physical vision.

After arriving in Las Vegas, I stepped off the plane and began the long walk up the jet bridge, I quietly laughed to myself. How many times... I wondered, have I done this in my travels?

Yet, this trip felt different. I was somehow more aware of everything and everyone around me. The weight of my bags seemed to increase with each step I took up that jet bridge. Once I exited into the terminal, I stepped aside to avoid being trampled by the steady flow of passengers eagerly exiting behind me. Usually, I’d just go with the flow, literally, hoping no one would run me over. Even though I’ve been traveling for 25 years, my first trip this year started with me standing still.

Normally, I’d ask for assistance, follow a family, or just pick a direction and hope for the best. Not this time. Instead, I found the confidence and comfort level to stand still long enough to begin moving on my own, knowing I’d get where I was going.

Reflect on where you’ve been

Like those bags I carried up the jet bridge, we each have a past. The more we do, the heavier those bags become. That’s not a bad thing. They’re filled with great memories, learning experiences, and if we’re willing to be honest, probably some challenging times too. Without them, we’d have no perspective from which to learn.

For example, maybe you think back on a decision and wonder if it was truly the right thing to do. When we reflect on our past, my wife Barb and I remind each other that no matter the outcome, we made the best decision with the information we had at the time. Sure, you can look back later and think about how you could have made a different decision, but only because you have new information. Yup, with my limited vision, even my hindsight is 20/20.

When I arrived at the Las Vegas airport for the first time, I had a lot to learn. I asked lots of questions, and yes, I even made a few mistakes. One mistake I’m glad I’ve avoided is going into the wrong restroom. Is that a phobia? I’m not sure, but I know the embarrassment felt with that mistake. Thankfully, even I can see the 6 foot tall tile figures embedded on the wall in each doorway of the restrooms at the Las Vegas airport.

Look where you are

To fully understand where you are, you need to stop long enough to look. We as a society are so busy, so consumed with the demands of life (many of which we put on ourselves), we don’t stop long enough to take in the necessary information to make the best decisions possible.

For example, consider your surroundings - where you are right now physically or in life? Fully engage by watching, listening, reading, and taking in as much information as you can.

As I stood in the airport, I began to look around. I read the giant numbers above the doorway from which I had just exited. C-23, I thought, My favorite number at Roulette is 23. I listened as the gate agent gave instructions to passengers in the gate area. I saw business travelers anxiously checking their phones, and heard some of them making calls. I looked past the gate area and noticed that the travelers looked like commuter traffic on a busy highway. I even saw one family with each member pulling their own roller bag. I had to smile. That family reminded me of trips we’d taken with our own kids when they were younger.

See where you’re going

To get where you want to be, you need to see your future. Some people identify what success means to them by creating their own vision boards. Those images build a physical picture which can help you move forward by establishing a specific goal or idea in your mind.

Athletes visualize making a shot or scoring a goal in preparation for that moment. Fighter pilots use mental imagery to practice emergency procedures in case they ever need to use them. Their practice becomes so real that their hands physically move to operate the imaginary controls in front of them.

I’ve learned the layout of the airport in an effort to create a mental map of where I am. More importantly, I can create a plan to get where I need to be. Standing at that gate, I realized I had the information I needed to continue on my journey. What I’ve learned from my past has given me the confidence in the present to joyfully move forward into the future.

In life, it’s good to reflect on where you’ve been, but don’t dwell there. Look where you are right now, and embrace the present. See where you’re going, and plan well for it. Let this be the year you see your own future more clearly.

LIGHTHOUSE QUESTIONS

Reflect on one difficult decision from your past. Looking back, considering only the information you had at the time, would you make the same decision? Why or why not?

What actions can you take to examine where you are in life, and where you want to go in the future?

With a clearer perspective, what is one goal you have for yourself? Once you’ve identified that goal, create a vision board or a step-by-step plan to achieve it.

2: Whichever One’s Moving

The first time I traveled to Philadelphia, I was looking forward to having a real Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich, and taking in some of the local history. Before I could do that, I had to find my luggage. It’s funny, but when people ask me what I find most challenging about my job, it’s not teaching total strangers week after week, learning new content, or even navigating new cities. Nope, the biggest challenge for me is finding the right baggage carousel.

When it comes to luggage challenge, I have a plan, but it doesn’t always work. First, I scan the plane for a family sitting near me. I make sure I grab my carry on quickly, so I can follow them to baggage claim (I’m thinking... hey, a family... they’ve probably got tons of luggage). Then, the pursuit begins. I stay close enough to see them, but far enough away as not to be stalker creepy (with the way my eyes move around, especially when I’m nervous, that could easily be misinterpreted).

Then, we make an unexpected stop. Not for me, but for the family. It’s not surprising after a long flight, and besides, the restroom is on the way to baggage claim. I stop further back, and begin to look through my bag for... anything - just to look busy. A few minutes later, we resume our journey.

It’s not a long way to baggage claim, but hunger sets in, and the family stops to grab a bite to eat. I know for sure that my luggage is not in the food court, and I don’t really want to wait for the family to finish lunch before I get my bag. Oh well, time to scrap the plan, and find my own way to baggage claim.

Thankfully, the signs are pretty low, so I have a fighting chance to arrive in baggage claim. When I reach the bottom of the escalator, a skycap greets me and asks, Anything I can do to assist you?

ME: Well, I just came in from Phoenix, and I’m wondering if you can tell me which carousel my bags might be on.

At that moment, this polite elderly skycap smiles and says, Whichever one’s moving.

At first, his response seemed almost