Deliver Me: Hope, Help, & Healing Through True Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy

By Dianne E. Butts

She stares at the test strip, palms clammy, breathing uneven. She’s never felt more alone. Tears blur her vision. Panic edges in.
An unplanned pregnancy often leaves emotional wounds that take years to heal. The options are many: abortion, adoption, keeping the child. The questions are even more: How? Why? Where can you go for help? What do you do?

Deliver Me: Hope, Help, & Healing through True Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy explores each of the choices and their after-effects, highlighting the most sensitive moments women and men in unplanned pregnancies face, and how it affects grandparents, friends, and other loved ones. You’ll find:
•More than 50 intriguing true stories
•Facts and statistics about unplanned pregnancy
•Practical help
•Valuable resources
Whether you’re a woman currently facing an unplanned pregnancy, a man whose partner is there, a friend or family wanting to help, you’ll find hope in the stories of others who walked this road and faced the same decisions. Is your pregnancy experience in your past? Regardless of what its outcome was, you’ll find kindness, compassion, and healing.
You’ve dealt with the pain long enough. It’s time to discover your healing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dianne E. Butts
• Release date: Dec 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005633349

Dianne E. Butts

Dianne E. Butts has been writing professionally since 1989. She has almost 300 published print articles in national and international publications including the Salvation Army’s international magazine War Cry!, Focus on the Family magazine, The Plain Truth, On Mission, Live, The Lutheran Message, Standard, Evangel, Enrichment Journal, Light and Life, and Encounter. Her articles have been published in Great Britain, Bulgaria, Poland, Canada, and Korea.In addition, Dianne has written more than 100 articles for online sites such as CBN.com, Crosswalk.com, FindingGodDaily.com, ThinkingAboutSuicide.com, and TheChristianPulse.com.Dianne is the author of six printed books. Deliver Me, which was awarded Nonfiction Book of the Year in 2012 from Christian Small Publisher’s Association (now the Christian Indie Publishing Assn.) in the Family/Relationships category, and was a finalist for the Golden Scroll Nonfiction Book of the Year awarded by Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA). Deliver Me is available at Barnes & Nobel.com and most other online outlets. (Links on www.dianneebutts.com).Her co-authored book, Grandparenting Through Obstacles (currently OOP) was named Book of the Year from Christian Small Publisher’s Association (now the CIPA) in 2013, also in the Family/Relationships category, was named one of GRAND magazine’s Best Grandparenting Books in 2012, and won Nonfiction Book of the Year at The Book Club Network.Her other books are Dear America, Prophecies Fulfilled in the Birth of Jesus , Prophecies Fulfilled in the Death & Resurrection of Jesus, and Prophecies Fulfilled in the Life of Jesus.In addition to her own books, Dianne has contributed to 21 other books. Her stories appear in four Chicken Soup for the Soul books including 101 Best Stories of Faith, two Cup of Comfort books, and Zondervan’s New Women’s Devotional Bible.Dianne has also published two series of Kindle e-book on Christian topics and for writers.Dianne is also a screenwriter and has written, produced, and directed award-winning short films.She is a past member of Christian Small Publishers Association (now CIPA).

Book preview

Deliver Me

Hope, Help, & Healing through

True Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy

Dianne E. Butts

Connections Press

Pueblo, Colorado

Deliver Me

Copyright © 2011 Dianne E. Butts

All rights reserved

Published by Connections Press | Dianne E. Butts

Pueblo, Colorado

Smashwords Edition.

Published by Dianne E. Butts at Smashwords.

Distributed by Smashwords.

Stories Compiled & Edited By

Dianne E. Butts

Book Edited By

Marjorie Vawter

Asterisks beside a person’s name throughout this book indicate the

name has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.

Cover and Interior Design

J. L. Hardesty

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the

HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®.

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.

Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the

New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Used by permission. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,

or transmitted in any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy,

recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher,

except as provided by USA copyright law.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Dedication

For all the unnamed people who give so generously

of their hearts, time, and resources

to help those who have experienced

an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy.

May God bless you abundantly.

Acknowledgements

It is amazing to sit down to write these acknowledgements and realize how many people were involved in the making of this book and how many people there are who, if it weren’t for them, this book would not exist.

I would like to thank all those who contributed their stories. Many are named in these pages. Others asked not to be named for confidentiality, but the Lord knows who you are. May He bless all of you for sharing your stories. It was my deep desire to help you write your stories in order to share their power with anyone and everyone who would grace us with their time and read these pages. You’ve made my dream come true. It has been my honor and privilege to work with each of you, and to give you an opportunity to share the power in your stories through writing and producing this book. But I’m only the writer. You lived it. Obviously without your willingness to share your story, this book would not exist.

I also wish to acknowledge and thank everyone—and there were many of you, too many to remember let alone name—who talked with me and encouraged me over the years I put this book together. You have helped me in ways beyond what I can put into words. Special thanks to my writing Barnabas group—Gayle Gresham, LaRose Karr, Tanya Warrington, and Marlene Depler—for your help, expertise, prayers, support, and encouragement.

I thank all of those who have supported this project with your prayers. If I tried to name all those who have prayed for this book, I would certainly make a miserable mess of that. There are too many of you! But as I neared completion of the book, the special prayer team became Bonnie Castillo, Margi Wilson, and the wonderful intercessory prayer group at the First Presbyterian Church in Lamar, Colorado: Nadine McClung, Caryol Heckman, Theresa Eisenhouer, Marjorie Wyatt, and Pat Gillespie. Without your prayers, I don’t believe this book would exist.

I thank Marlene Bagnull for all the training I’ve received at her Colorado Christian Writers Conferences, for teaching me so much about publishing, as well as for her encouragement over the many years I’ve known her.

Special thanks to my attorney, Linda McMillan, who does her best to keep me out of trouble . . . and then helps me when I get into trouble anyway. Your generous help has blessed me beyond what I can express and I’m very, very grateful to you. Without your help in many ways, I would not have been able to bring this book into existence.

Thanks to Margie Vawter, my wonderful editor (and friend) who helped me polish the manuscript to the best we could make it. And to Shelley Ring whose marketing expertise has been extremely helpful.

I would especially like to thank and acknowledge Jo Hardesty Lauter, whose incredibly generous offer to help me with the book’s cover and interior design suddenly made this whole project possible. Without you, Jo, this book would not exist.

Thanks to my wonderful, supportive husband, Hal. Without your constant support and encouragement this book wouldn’t exist.

I also thank my Lord Jesus Christ who ultimately brought me each of the stories in this book as well as the means to produce the book. Without Your love, mercy, atoning sacrifice, and forgiveness none of these stories or this book would exist. May it bring people to know You as You truly are and bring You glory.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Table of Contents

Theme Scripture

Chapter 1 Who Faces Unplanned Pregnancy?

I’m Not Pregnant, But . . . by Phyllis Allen

First Impressions by Vera Cole*

Resources 1

Chapter 2 What About Her Family?

Heartbroken Family by Janne Strobel Collins

Tina and Mia by Sue Tornai

Misty’s Life Choice by Helena Holmes*

A Home for Janie* and Molly* by Lucy Neeley Adams

Resources 2

Chapter 3 When a Woman Considers Abortion

What Some May Call a Mistake by Tina Brock

Her Soul Question by Janne Strobel Collins

God Will Forgive Me by Marcia Samuels* as told to Dianne E. Butts

Out on a Ledge by Connie Suarez

Resources 3

Chapter 4 Learning from Those Who Have Experienced Abortion

It’s Never Over by Tina Brock

Multiple Mercies by Joyce Zounis

Sing, O Barren Woman by Kyleen Stevenson-Braxton

Deliver Me by Erin Di Paolo

Living Well by Ann Eppard

The Choice by Chris Jackman

Finding Forgiveness by Helen Hoover

Second Chances by Jami Sims

The Face in the Mirror by Brittany Valentine

One More Victim by Connie Suarez

Resources 4

Chapter 5 For, By, and About Men

Cowboy Up by Scotty Vaughn as told to Dianne E. Butts

Living with Choices by Dan Ambrecht

Life after Abortion by Carol McGalliard

A Father After All by Ed,* as told to Carol McGalliard

Life is Precious by Jim Schultz as told to Helen Hoover

The Sign by Oddie Strayhand as told to Sue Tornai

Resources 5

Chapter 6 Helping Her Keep Her Child

Bridgeway by Jade Chartier as told to Dianne E. Butts

House of Light, House of Love by Pamela S. Thibodeaux

The Miracle Baby, Anna,* and More by Marcia Samuels* as told to Dianne E. Butts

Turning Point by Helena Grant

A Cup of Water by Bonnie Watkins

Double Christmas Blessings by Mary Ann Smith* as told to Dianne E. Butts

Resources 6

Chapter 7 When a Woman Gives Her Child for Adoption

Quilted with Love by Marilyn M. Scott

Choosing the Best by Emily Parke Chase

The Right Choice by Anita Estes

Two Different Kinds of Love by Karie Hughes

The Life Savers® by Shirley A. Reynolds

Release by Joyce Sykes

Resources 7

Chapter 8 Who Are These People Who Help Women Find Options?

Because of One Son by Judy Sluppick

Harley Grandpa by George Sluppick

My Crumbling Wall by Sonja Bates

My Mental File by Kelly J. Stigliano

Grace Answered the Phone by Anne S. Grace

At the Mall by Rita Leone-Reyes

Life Line by Joyce Sykes

It’s All About Me by Connie Ambrecht

A Change of Heart by Rita Leone-Reyes as told to Dianne E. Butts

Resources 8

Chapter 9 Reaching Out, Helping People, and Preventing Unplanned Pregnancy

New Birth by Emily Parke Chase

Have Children. Need Help. by Karen Reno Knapp

Campus Life 101 by Emily Parke Chase

Hope’s Sexual Integrity Class by JoAnn Valdez as told to Dianne E. Butts

The Queen of Sexual Healing by Patrice Egging

Georgia Red Clay by John McNeal

Just for Laughs by Emily Parke Chase

Resources 9

Contributors

Featured Pregnancy Centers

Thank You

About the Author

Books by Dianne E. Butts

* Asterisks next to a person’s name throughout this book indicate the name has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.

Theme Scripture

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me;

I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord:

O Lord, save me! The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.

The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.

For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. . . .

How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. . . .

You have freed me from my chains.

Psalm 116:1–9, 12–13, 16 niv

~*~

Chapter 1

Who Faces Unplanned Pregnancy?

I was overcome by trouble.

Psalm 116:3

We may think those facing unplanned pregnancies are usually unwed teenage girls. But if abortion statistics can give us a glimpse of who faces unplanned pregnancy, fewer than one-fifth (18%) of abortions in the United States are obtained by teenagers.¹

The fact is, women of all childbearing ages—including teenagers, even preteens, as well as women in their thirties and forties—both single and married, face unplanned pregnancy. For every pregnancy, often overlooked is the man involved. And many times the pregnancy affects the entire family of the mother- and father-to-be.

When that pregnancy test shows positive, she must face the many fears and dilemmas that go with an unplanned pregnancy. In the middle of her shock and panic, where can she go for help? Who can she turn to? Women facing an unplanned pregnancy, the man in her life, her parents and siblings, and others touched by her pregnancy can find hope, help, and healing in the stories of those who have gone before, those who have faced an unplanned pregnancy themselves.

~ Did you know… ~

About 14% of recent births to women 15 to 44 years of age in 2002 were unwanted at the time of conception.²

~ // ~

How did they handle it? What did they do? Do they have any regrets? Are they pleased with their choices?

For others, there is an unplanned pregnancy in your past. Whether recent or distant in years, you may still feel the many decisions you made and the heartaches you faced at that time in your life. How and where can you find healing? In the stories of those who have gone before.

You may not be the one who experienced the unplanned pregnancy directly. You may be the father of the child, or the parent, sibling, or friend of the woman who faced the unplanned pregnancy. You, also, will find stories in this book that speak to you.

The true stories of those who have been there—like Sandi* and Vera Cole,* whose stories you’ll read in this first chapter—can teach us and help others now facing the same dilemmas. Whether in hindsight these women are pleased with the choices they made, regret them, or fall somewhere in between, we can learn how the choices these women made affected their lives, where they found help, what options and resources they discovered along the way, and how they have recovered from their unplanned pregnancy. Knowing we are not alone and seeing how others have handled the situation, not only helps us, it gives us hope. When we find ourselves in desperate and devastating circumstances, that’s what we need: hope and help.

And when we’ve been through something—however long ago—that remains unhealed, we can also find healing for ourselves in discovering where others found healing.

Below you will meet two women: one young, the other reaching the older end of childbearing age. Each had diverse circumstances. Each with a story as unique as she is.

Sandi* was one young woman who needed help. So utterly alone, she had no idea who to turn to for help. But Sandi found the help she needed when she met Phyllis Allen, and her story can help others find the help they need.

~*~

I’m Not Pregnant, But . . . by Phyllis Allen

When I first saw the young woman standing outside the office window, I tried to ignore her. She’s probably just passing by, I thought. On that rainy Saturday afternoon, PAL—the Pregnancy Assistance League—wasn’t open for clients. But I was in the office anyway. As executive director of PAL, I often stayed late or worked weekends to train volunteers or to catch up on the never-ending duties of keeping a pregnancy center running.

But when I glanced up again, she was still standing there, the rain running down her hair and soaking through her baggy navy sweats. I knew something was terribly wrong. She turned and paced back and forth, then returned to stare at the sign on the door again. She never did try the door or even knock, but the look of hopelessness on her face told me this was where she needed to be.

As she started to turn away again, I rushed to the door and jerked it open. Hi! I said. Welcome to PAL! Would you like to come in?

The young woman stepped past me and stood just inside the door, contemplating the toes of her worn tennis shoes. The twin sisters Dread and Despair accompany many clients to our door, but this one seemed unusually fearful. I closed the door against the cold and offered her some hot chocolate. She nodded gratefully but still didn’t speak. Lord, help me put her fears at ease and find out why You brought her here today, I prayed silently.

I chatted on about the gray, drizzly day outside, and the girl gradually warmed to the homelike atmosphere of the office. She responded to my questions but wouldn’t meet my eyes. Her name was Sandi* and she worked as a horse trainer in a nearby town. She was twenty-two.

I showed her to the counseling room. She slipped into a wooden rocker. She looked completely exhausted. Handing her a clipboard with an intake form, I left her to scour the storage room for towels and blankets. I prayed. I still didn’t know why she was here, but I knew God had brought her to this place on this day and I trusted He would accomplish His plan for her.

Returning to the counseling room, I found Sandi doubled up in the rocker—her face pale and her eyes wide with fear. Sandi! I hurried to her side.

When she’d caught her breath, she confided, I haven’t felt well the last couple weeks. It just keeps getting worse, but I don’t have any money to go to a doctor. I feel ten times worse today—and then I heard your radio ad. So I came here. I don’t know if you can me help or not.

So you came for a pregnancy test, then? I asked.

No! she exclaimed. "I’m sure I’m not pregnant! I just thought maybe you could help me. I don’t know what I was thinking!"

It’s okay. I patted her arm. Her baggy sweats were soaked through and clung to her well-rounded form. A certain fear began nagging my mind. You know, maybe we could start by eliminating possibilities, I suggested. You’re pretty sure you’re not pregnant, but let’s do the test so we can rule that out completely and go on to another possible reason for your illness.

Surprisingly, Sandi seemed satisfied with this plan. I helped her perform the test.

While we waited for the timer to ring, I said, You indicated on your intake form you didn’t know when your last period was. Can you give me an estimate?

Not really, she replied. It’s been several months, I think. I fell off a horse and I haven’t had one since. I felt okay for a long time. It was no big deal.

When the timer rang, Sandi read the results. She slumped back into the rocking chair and tears began rolling down her cheeks. "Are you s-s-sure? She looked incredulous. I can’t believe it! How could I not know? I can’t do this! I can’t have a baby!"

Sandi, this may be difficult, but we can help you through it if you’ll let us,