Phonetic Phantasies of a Rhyming Nature

By Geoff Schultz

If you hear somebody say, “or”, four times, would you know what they mean? However, if you see it spelled as, “oar, o’er, or, and ore” then you can distinguish that each “or” is a different word. Phonetic Phantasies of a Rhyming Nature contains micro-stories using one syllable rhyming words which hopefully have humorous meanings while poking some fun at the oddities of the English language.

Or if you hear, “Two Bea oar knot too bee,” would you recognize it as a quote from Shakes Spear which he might have written if he had relied on a spell checker? The English language has many words which sound the same or are even spelled the same, yet have very different meanings. And if you combine those words with other words that rhyme, there are all kinds of interesting possibilities. As one example, you might start with the word “air” and end up with a micro-story like:

They’re there on the street named Air ere their heir took the spare hair to share with the hare to make a coat for the bare bear to wear. You may see some one try to pare the pear and its pair or glare and stare at the stair that goes no where. Ne’er scare the mare while she uses a flare with flair to care for her square lair. If you can, sit in a chair to help the fair find a fair fare. By the way, you can blare or swear for e’er, but ware the snare of the rare tare and do not dare to tear it.

Included with the micro-stories in Phonetic Phantasies of a Rhyming Nature are the lists of words which were used to make up the micro-stories and can be used to make up your own micro-stories. And if you like word puzzles, have fun translating the few homographic riddles such as, “Watch the buck buck the buck,” where each “buck” has a different meaning.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Geoff Schultz
• Release date: Dec 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005865528

Geoff Schultz

It has been said that the best things in life are free and so are this writer's stories. Hope you enjoy them.

Book preview

Phonetic

Phantasies

of a Rhyming Nature

Geoff Schultz

ebook format edition - distributed by www.smashwords.com

Copyright 2020 by Geoff Schultz

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, and events in this book are products of this writer’s imagination or, in the case of referenced historical persons, are used fictitiously. Any other similarity to actual persons, names, or events is purely coincidental.

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License Statement

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this writer.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Micro-stories

Homographic Riddles

List of Words Used

Translation of Homographic Riddles

Some Other Word Play

About the author

Phonetic Phantasies of a Rhyming Nature

Introduction

Considering the number of different words in the English language which sound the same or are even spelled the same, we can be glad that Shakes Spear didn’t rely on a spell checker or we might be quoting, Two Bea oar knot too bee, and not really know what he meant. The following micro-stories or single sentences attempt to use a number of similar sounding one syllable words along with just enough other one syllable words to hopefully be understood in a humorous manner.

This writer admits that not all of the words in each micro-story which are underlined and identified as having similar sounding endings are dictionary perfect, but they sound similar enough to this untrained ear. Not only that, but the dictionary wasn’t always helpful in clearly identifying how a word is to be properly pronounced (at least in the version of a Webster’s Collegiate dictionary which was used). For example, in the Pronunciation Symbols on the inside cover, the ‘u’ with a single dot above it is used as the vowel sound for both the ‘u’ in ‘pull’ and the ‘oo’ in ‘wood’. To this writer’s ear, those don’t sound anything similar. In other cases, words like ‘dale’ and ‘dell’ are given different pronunciations, yet this writer is unable to distinguish a clear difference in common speech.

In any case, the following micro-stories are not meant to be serious word studies, but are provided to maybe spark an interest or to encourage you to have fun with words.

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A brief note of explanation:

One word (aunt) is listed in two different pronunciation categories because some people pronounce it the same as ‘ant’ while others pronounce it to rhyme with ‘jaunt’. Also, some definitions and/or spellings of words are from more obscure or archaic uses. In a few cases, slang is used which isn’t found in the dictionary.

Micro-stories

Long A

May and fay Mai may sway to the grey clay quay of the gray bay where they lay the lei as pay to pray for prey to slay from the sleigh then weigh the whey for the gay day and spray the hay for the jay on the tray. On the way, Kay will find a stray bray and neigh and say, Hey and nay, when they want to play with a ray and stay far from the fey fray.

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Long A-b

Abe nor Gabe had a babe.

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Long A-d

The braid on the maid made of jade may fade in the shade. Staid Wade the aide had to wade to come from the raid in the cade glade with the aid of a blade and bade Dade that the grade suede was laid out and paid a spade in trade.

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Long A-f

She felt chafe to be safe.

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Long A-g

Craig might brag on a jag that he can drag an egg and keg in a rag bag past a snag on the crag, but Greg will beg a fag as a gag then walk with the nag hag and the stag who might wag its peg leg in a zag to lag in the tag while the flag of Meg will sag from the mag.

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Long Air

They’re there on the street named Air ere their heir took the spare hair to share with the hare to make a coat for the bare bear to wear. You may see some one try to pare the pear and its pair or glare and stare at the stair that goes no where. Ne’er scare the mare while she uses a flare with flair to care for her square lair. If you can, sit in a chair to help the fair find a fair fare. By the way, you can blare or swear for e’er, but ware the snare of the rare tare and do not dare to tear it.

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Long A-j

In the cage, the page read the page and with a gage took the sage to the sage on the stage and