Look (Stop Me If You've Heard This One...) But There Was This TV Show

By Roy Bettridge

The Avengers was a classic television show that lighted the sixties from 1961 to 1969. Its repeat runs have garnered a mass of fans. One such fan is Chris. He's a regular man and has had what everyone would call a regular life. But on one of these regular days, The Avengers burst into his world and set him on an interesting course that would lead him not only to a deep affection for the show as a fan but also towards a possible career. This semi-autobiographical work of fiction is fascinating reading from beginning to end.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 18, 2016
• ISBN: 9781326896010

Book preview

Look (Stop Me If You've Heard This One...) But There Was This TV Show

COPYRIGHT INFORMATION

LOOK (STOP ME IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS ONE…)

BUT THERE WAS THIS TV SHOW

by Roy Bettridge

© 2016 Roy Bettridge. All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-1-326-89601-0

The rights of Roy Bettridge to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher.

First Published 2016 by Pot Luck

Edited by Roy Bettridge, Alan Hayes and Rebbecca O’Brien.

Cover Design by Jamie Rae

Internal Layout and Design by Alan Hayes

The Avengers © 1961-1969 StudioCanal; The New Avengers © 1976-1977 StudioCanal. This publication is not endorsed by StudioCanal or any other rights holders of The Avengers.

A Pot Luck book

DEDICATION

This book is lovingly dedicated to my father

ROY BETTRIDGE, SR.

(1957 – 2016)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Roy Bettridge has been involved in the creative arts from a young age and gained a BTEC in performing arts in 2006. He has also studied at the University of Bedfordshire. He has many passions with television, performing and writing being at their forefront. He has written essays about the 1960s cult television series, The Avengers, about which he is passionate. Among these writings is a chapter in the Avengerworld anthology. He currently resides in Kettering. This is his first published book.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This book is a tale based on reality with a fictional twist. It would not have been written without the wide-ranging support of everyone involved with the project.

This book is dedicated to my late father, Roy Sr., whom I thank from the heart for his never-ending love, support, guidance, tolerance and patience, and for nurturing my love for The Avengers. He was patient through the endless re-runs of the show to which he was subjected – the most amazing man I ever knew. I would also like to record a further, special dedication to my late mother, Iris, for being an amazing mother. Extra special thanks to all of my family for their love and support and extra, extra special thanks to my late grandmother, Rita, for being amazing in all things.

Special thanks to my fiancée Laura for being tolerant and for accepting in one breath everything concerning my adoration of The Avengers.

Thanks to Malcolm and Lilian Start for being the exceptional people that they are and for the support they gave me while I was writing this book. My love and respect are always with them.

Thanks must also go to Lucy Wright, Kayleigh Wright, Gemma Wright, Charmian Wright, Neil Griffin, Naomi Keable, Trudi Cope, Sharon Wilkinson, Karen Lenton, Tanya Perrin, Lisa Hunt, Linda Hunt, Karen Needle, Helen Kennewell, Guiseppe Massimo, Darren Howe, Richard Miles, Scott Edwards, Darren Willis (and his family), Aaron Marr, Rod Wildman, Danny Hill, Pawel Kwasnik, Ivetka Kosova and her staff at Tapri, Jack Norn, Andrea Ford, Hannah Brook, Jacqui Gallehawk and all my other friends and colleagues (past and present) at Newlands for their support and tolerance of my eccentricities. And to Mr Neal Dyche for always reminding me to keep smiling!

Thanks also to Craig Chapman, Ann Haines, the Wallis family and all associated, Sharon McDonald and her family, Mark Tebbutt, Jamie Rae, Barry Musgrave, Stefy Cenea, Laura Martin and her family, David Amos (along with his wife Sam and their family), Michael and Sandy Dawson, Dale Knighton and his partner and their family, Trevor Gillman, Katy MacLean, Linda Kilpatrick, Kelly Bamford, Kim Chilton, Nathan Grooby and all in the Grooby clan, Darren Taylor, Rebbecca O’Brien, Kayleigh Heath, Justine and Jason Mitchell-Bunce, Chris and Mary Kemp, Steve and Priscilla Dodman, Paul and Angela Robertson, Julie Shipton and her family (a massive shout out to her son and my good friend, Mat), the Fleming family (special dedication to Sue Fleming (1947-2011)) and Nick Holmes and his family. A special shout out to my Havelock school chums, the Henry Gotch / Ise Community College survivors, my Tresham College and University friends – you’re all diamonds – and to Sam Richards, her partner Pip and their family for their support in everything.

Many thanks must go to Alan Hayes for being my original editor on this project, for always being honest and supportive, for being my mentor throughout the process, and for being my friend.

Extra special thanks to David Hamilton for his research into the repeat dates of both The Avengers and The New Avengers during the 1990s. His research was the backbone of this project and I thank him for being thorough and diligent.

To all my friends at the time The Avengers entered my life, thank you for being patient with me. To those who initially considered me strange but have opened their minds to see that I’m not that bad, my thanks to you. Thank you to all my friends for being the fantastic people they are.

Special thanks must go to the late Patrick Macnee for being such a positive influence on me through my television viewing, for being the first actor I worshipped, and for his quintessential portrayal of John Steed. Many thanks to all of those who were involved in making The Avengers and The New Avengers; because of those talented men and women I am a fan for life. I must also thank Dave Rogers for his many books on the show which helped deepen my love and adoration for The Avengers. Similarly, I am grateful to Andrew Pixley and Michael Richardson, whose own books on the series made me happy to be a fan of this iconic show.

Finally, thanks to the companies who continue to keep the series I love in the public eye: to StudioCanal for giving The Avengers another lease of life and for looking after this fantastic show, and to Big Finish Productions for their excellent work with The Avengers audio series and bringing the lost episodes of the Ian Hendry series to life. Long may their audio adventures continue.

Chapter 1 - FROM THE ASHES OF ROSES

Tape is rolling.

Entry begins.

My name is Chris.

This is my journal. I’ve been writing journals and making tape recordings of them for many years but as I hit the grand old age of 30 I do wonder why I’m still keeping a journal. But these will be the last of them. The plan is to encapsulate everything into one source and start directly from the beginning. I was nine when I initially wrote them in the back of my exercise book for Geography, each day written down painstakingly in the pages of a lined and stapled yellow book.

Now it’s time to finish everything. It’s time to stop recording my life and live it. I’m married with two children and this feeling of wanting to stop writing my endless journals occurred recently. The house that was the family home is finally being sold by my father. I spent many happy years stuck in the bedroom listening to my stereo and finally committing my thoughts to both paper and later tape recordings.

I stumbled across the exercise books as I was going through a box of things from the attic. They were all in a box that used to contain my old stereo. It was quite grand for its time with its two cassette decks, radio and vinyl player on the top. I had many hours of fun playing that. The amount of books I found tells me that my dad didn’t mind purchasing the endless supply that just kept growing and growing.

I’m considering reading them all just to show me how I thought back then. I’m wondering where I would start and then I see the big black number 1 in the top corner of the book. The handwriting and grammar is appalling. We’re off to a good start with the page set up; the same day and date template in each one made in bold black Berol handwriting pen.

I seem to have started off very matter of fact. For the benefit of the tape, I’ll read them out loud…

Friday 21st April 1995

I’m now ten. It was my birthday yesterday and I really enjoyed it. All my aunts came to visit me and give me presents and my mum and dad gave me the biggest birthday cake ever. I couldn’t eat it all though so mum put the rest into the fridge.

It’s nice to read that aloud and correct my grammar as I did so. I was really thinking about important things at that age! And for the sake of the tape recording I’m making at this moment it gives it all an air of my growing intelligence.

My friends also came round for my party. My best friend Craig also came. He’s great. We sometimes go round each other’s houses for tea after school. He looks after me. It’s like having a brother. School is a problem if anyone picks on you. I get that a lot. I have a lot of friends there though…

The power of the written word is something that was impressed on me at school. The teachers would always try and get you to write everything down neatly as well as concisely.

I’m finding this entry a bit boring. Let’s find out what the next one is like…

Saturday 22nd April 1995

I love weekends. Two days of no school. I get to be outside all day and I get to see as many friends as I like. And it’s sunny. Weekends are always sunny…

If I ever met the younger me I think that I would have to sit him down and inform him that as you get older you realise that you live in a world where summer lasts for only a week and is quickly replaced by rain and strong winds. Next page…

Monday 24th April 1995

It’s Monday and I have to go back to school. Mum always gets me up and makes sure I have what I want for breakfast. Dad is always in the living room wearing his work uniform as he watches the TV. When I finish my cereal I have to put my uniform on for school. Dad and me play a game of who has the better uniform. I do. It’s a purple jumper with a polar bear reading a book with the name of the school under it…

Oh how the routine of school fits in with a routine for life. I now follow the pattern with my job. I seem to have enjoyed this particular day.

Mrs Harris took the assembly today. I always enjoy it when she does. Every day it’s always the headmaster, Mr Hayles, and he talks to us about how the world around us is changing and reminds us all about where to get pens from the reception office. Mrs Harris has been the best teacher that I’ve had so far. I then was in Miss Peters class. She always let me and Craig sit next to each other. Now I’m with Miss Collins. We’re her first class. We had good fun today. We made paper Mache masks before we went home.

Arts and crafts were not the best choice for me. I can only imagine the state I was in. Mum used to complain at how much they had spent on my uniform for me to go and get it mucky and dirty. The pleasures of growing up…

Wednesday 26th April 1995

It’s Wednesday. Mum always takes me to my Auntie Nikki’s for tea. I always get what I ask for. Dad always gets himself something to eat on his way back from work.

I’m finding things a little bit ritualistic reading these pages. School was the mixture of register, lessons, break, lessons, lunchtime, lessons then home time. At home it seemed to split itself up in the week. Wednesday was always the day we saw Auntie Nikki and my cousin Rebecca. It was always a laugh but I don’t seem to have written that down in this entry.

Auntie Nikki couldn’t get a signal from the TV. She did put on the video player for Mum. The show we watched was good. It was something called Class Act, or so Mum told me. It’s a show with Joanna Lumley. The theme song is great. But Mum giggled when I said I like the person who played someone called Gloria because she has such a beautiful face…

Oh dear. I think I am reading the beginnings of my first TV crush. The Australian actress Nadine Garner does have a very beautiful face and Class Act was a good show. Even if you were not interested in the programme, just one look at Miss Lumley was enough to make you change your mind and when she spoke to you in whatever character she was playing you listened.

Mum is a little angry with me tonight because I won’t shut up about Class Act. She cuddled me and apologised for shouting. She doesn’t like shouting. Dad is normally the one that shouts when their angry. His face always gets the same look that scares me. I did have a good time at Auntie Nikki’s. It was just me and Auntie Nikki most of the time. Mum left for a bit and then came back to take me home…

This was a little too observant of me. If I could go back in time and talk to Mum about it all and ask why she was doing this I would probably still be confused. I remember that it