Are We Having Fun Yet?

By Sandy Beason

There is no manual for being a good mother. Many books have been written about how to react to different situations, and what to look for when problems arise, but the best teacher is to have kids. The kids show us what to do, or more importantly, what not to do. And just when you think you have a handle on the whole thing, the kids go and change the rules completely. This book is a collection of funny and heartwarming anecdotes about a mother and her two young sons. The characters may be (mostly) fictional, but the adventures are not!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jul 15, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312356016

Book preview

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Dedication

For Chris and Scott, my two incredible men who happened

to survive childhood with this ‘weally’ lucky mommy

Copyright

© 2014 Sandy Beason. All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-1-312-35601-6

eBook Edition, Produced by Lulu Press, Inc.

Cover photo © 2011 by Joan Vicent Cantó Roig for iStockphoto

Cover design, layout/compilation and proofreading by Kristin Smith

This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or events or locales is purely coincidental.

Meeting the Larkins

There is no manual for being a good mother. Many books have been written about how to react to different situations, and what to look for when problems arise, but the best teacher is to have kids. The kids show us what to do, or more importantly, what not to do. And just when you think you have a handle on the whole thing, the kids go and change the rules completely.

Sara Larkin is a mother — a very good mother. She has two sons, Joey and Jamie. What Joey hasn’t tried at least once, she can be sure Jamie will attempt twice. Her sons are her life, her joy and the center of her world. They make her smile, laugh and cry, and on many occasions, they try her patience to its outermost limits. They are especially good at teaching her to count to ten, and more often than not, to twenty.

On the following pages, you will find their stories. Each chapter is a new adventure. Some might make you smile, some might make you laugh out loud, and others might bring a few tears to your eyes. And if you find yourself nodding your head in recognition at any of them, then you know what Sara is going through with her little mischief-makers.

Along the way you will meet Miss Harriett Crabtree, a lovely little lady who lives next door, who, despite herself, becomes a part of their adventures. She learns a lot about life from this little family of three.

Life is better than fiction because you just can’t make some of this up! Besides, it’s more fun to experience it, especially when you’ve had a few years to look back on it. Somehow the problems don’t seem as big, or as embarrassing.

But most of all, remember to ask yourself, Are we having fun yet? Sara and the boys sure are and she is definitely doing the one thing that any good mother needs to do above all else: love her sons unconditionally.

Let the fun begin…

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Now stay close to the cart and don’t wander off, Mommy said to four-year-old Joey as she lifted his younger brother into the seat of the shopping cart.

’Kay.

And you be good, too, she added as she tickled little Jamie’s tummy and heard him giggle with delight.

Wat kinda store is dis?

It’s a fabric store, I just need to pick up a few things.

Oh, Superman, can we pick up some of him? Joey asked when he spotted the red, white and blue material.

Not today, sweetie. But she made a mental note to pick some up when the boys weren’t along to make Christmas pajamas.

Dis is neat, said her oldest, looking at a ruler. Wats it for?

Seeing how long things are.

Joey then began seeing how long everything around him was, including his little brother’s feet. Jamie thought he was playing and began to laugh.

Joey, put it back where you found it and stay near the cart.

They continued through the store and every aisle brought  another question. Mommy decided if she heard wats it for one more time, she was going to scream.

Joey, honey, she said pleadingly, don’t ask so many questions, please. Mommy is getting a headache.

’Kay, but you says if I don’t ask questions I won’t lurn.

Mommy closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.

Joey finally quit talking so much but now he began to play peek-a-boo with his little brother. Joey was having fun, little Jamie was delighted and Mommy was gripping the handle of the cart tighter.

Joey, stay here with the cart, she said, not seeing him again.

I’m rites behinds ya, Joey said in his high-pitched little voice.

Mentally cutting her shopping list down considerably, Mommy stopped in front of the buttons trying to decide which ones to get.

Dees are butiful, Mommy.

Yes, they are, but I don’t need orange buttons.

Wat colors do ya needs?

Pink.

Like dis? Joey said, holding up the ugliest pink buttons Mommy had ever seen.

No, these are better for the wedding.

Weting?

My cousin’s wedding.

Do we hasta go to a dumb ole weting?

Yes.

But I…we don’t wanna.

Joey, we’ll talk about it later.

Wen?

Later!

As they got closer to the checkout counter, Mommy noticed Jamie taking something from a rack and throwing it back behind him in the cart.

No, no, Jamie, don’t do…

She looked in the cart to find a dozen or so items she hadn’t put there, ranging from zippers to spools of thread. She looked at her two year old and he grinned widely back at her.

That’s it boys, we are done now. Come on, we are checking out, she said, putting her purse next to Jamie and sorting out the items she intended to buy and putting Jamie’s items on a shelf near her.

Uh oh, Mommy has her mad face on now. Jamie, you makes her mad to us.

The older lady behind the register smiled at the boys and then at their Mommy. She recognized that face Mommy wore; she had worn it many times herself over the years.

How are you boys today?

Grate, fanks, Joey said with big brown eyes. Wer helpen our Mommy.

I can see that, she said as she saw their Mommy roll her eyes.

Can we talks bout that dumb weting yet?

No, Joey, not yet.

Mommy was busy paying, Joey was pouting and the clerk was smiling. The clerk motioned for her to look at little Jamie and she found him sitting in the cart seat with the end of a pink tampon wrapper hanging out of his mouth. Her purse was open and his little hands were busy trying to find other treasures to play with.

Mortified, Mommy pulled the tampon out of his mouth and snatched the purse away from his prying fingers.

You’re going to look back on all of this some day and laugh about it, said the clerk with a knowing smile.

It gets easier when they get older, right?

’Fraid not, it just keeps getting more interesting, but this will look easy in a few years.

Just when she thought they could get out of the store in one piece, a not-so-special smell drifted around them.

Neato, Jamie tooted! said his proud big brother.

Mommy grabbed the sacks, Joey’s hand, her purse and stinky little Jamie and rushed out the doors.

Sometime later, Jamie was changed, shopping things put away and Joey and his little brother were now in bed. Mommy collapsed on the couch, put her feet up and her head back with her eyes closed. She was trying to decide how long it would take before all this would look easy. A giggle from her two-year-old made one of her eyes creep open.

Shhhh, you has to be weally quiet so Mommy don’t gets her mad face on again. And quits tooten, tey sounds good but tey stinks.

A calm silence filled the rooms.

I fink tat was mor than a toot…pee you!

Mommy sighed and gave herself a few minutes to make sure he was really done ‘tooten’.

Suddenly a little two-year-old dashed out of the bedroom wearing only his short pajama top; he was naked from the waist down. He giggled as he ran away from his brother.

Git bak here, you wittle rascle!

Joey followed his baby brother out of the room with a dirty diaper in one hand and a clean one in the other. He took one look at his approaching Mommy and stopped.

Mommy got a hold of the fleeing bare bottom and managed to get him cleaned up and freshly diapered again.

I was twying to help, Mommy, sos you didn’t haves to get up. Mommy looked into the big, beautiful, brown eyes of her handsome son and then at her baby, all mischief and smiles.

Come on Jamie, wets go to bed, I help ya gets into yer bed, but no mores tooten, ‘kay?

No, no, no, was all little Jamie answered.

Mommy scooped up Jamie in one arm and Joey in the other and took them to their room, tucked them in and gave each a big hug