A Real Live Country Song

By Mike Johnson

What started out as a boring day was suddenly transformed into an experience of a lifetime when into Kyle’s life hitch-hiked a real live country song. A hitch hiking, guitar totin’ cowboy stops off at Clancy’s, a little general store on Interstate 10s west bound service road just outside of Houston Texas, where Kyle works as a delivery boy. Intrigued by the paw print design, the cowboy’s fine looking guitar, and fueled by his own secret desire to someday record songs in Nashville, the boy initiates a conversation that soon morphs into an impromptu concert of country music songs interlaced with some interesting tales of the traveler’s life.
Joe Arnold, Roughshod Records

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jun 13, 1995
• ISBN: 9781620950463

Mike Johnson

Mike Johnson is a New York Times bestselling writer of comics, games, and animation. Since 2015, he has worked as a writer and creative consultant for ViacomCBS on Star Trek games and interactive projects. His work on the Star Trek franchise began in 2009 with Star Trek: Countdown, the comics prequel to the blockbuster film Star Trek directed by J.J. Abrams. Since then, Johnson has written and cowritten the most Star Trek comics in the franchise’s history. His other credits include Superman/Batman, Supergirl, and Earth 2 for DC Comics, Transformers for IDW Publishing, and Ei8ht from Dark Horse Comics. He also wrote for the Emmy Award–winning animated show Transformers: Prime. Johnson previously worked in film and TV development for writers/producers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci.

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Chapter 1

Sorry son, duty calls, my Dad shrugged and gulped down the remainder of his coffee.

Yeah, I know, I slouched down in my chair, disappointed.

Dad pecked Mom on the cheek as he snatched up his Sam Brown belt draped over the back of his chair.

Don’t know how long this’ll take, but you’ve got the number if you need me. Right?

Sure Dave, Mom clung to him a bit while he fastened his belt around his waist. She pressed him close to her a fleeting second then let him slip away. Dad touched her cheek with a finger and slipped out the door into the garage.

Keep the fire burnin’ Honey, he patted her on the bottom. And to me, Kyle, you look after things, you hear?

Sure Dad.

I heard the Jeep engine roar to life and the tires squeal as Dad peeled outta the driveway and sped off to the County Jail in Houston where he was a Deputy Sheriff.

Be careful Dave, Mom whispered, leaning on the doorframe.

Dad’s been a Deputy nearly six years now, and he’s been around some. But it was only when there were problems at the jail that Mom seemed to worry the most. I drank my orange juice and went over to console her. She placed her arms around me and I hugged her softly.

Don’t worry Mom, Dad’ll be alright. It probably won’t last the whole day.

No? she eyed me sidelong.

Naw… He’ll whip’em into shape just like this! I snapped my fingers.

Just like that, huh? her fingers popped, imitating me.

Yep. I taught’em.

Well, suppose you finish the dishes? Just like that! she snapped her fingers in my ear.

Huh?

Your turn this weekend, remember? Where’s Jimmy?

Sleep as usual, I reckon. I’ll get him.

You, young man, she hooked a finger round my collar, Do the dishes. I’ll get him. Your sister’s at the Raleigh’s for the weekend. Call and check for me and see if she’s going to stay okay?

Okay Mom.

Jimmy! Jimmy! Oh, that kid! I could just… she disappeared after my little brother.

Jimmy had a dentist appointment he’d been duckin’ and stalling on, with a fake illness. It worked until Mom caught him on the phone with one of his scheming buddies. Boy she lit his butt up and grounded him till he decided to face the music.

I gotta admit, the little guy really stuck to his guns for a whole three days. That’s a heap for him. If school was in, he might’ve held out a little longer. But not this time of the year. I thought he would’ve cracked sooner myself. Win some, you lose some, huh?

Now, not only does he have to go to the dentist, he’s also doomed to one of Mom’s daily expeditions. Shopping, browsing, and lunch with the girls. You know, the usual kinda stuff that’d turn off an active thirteen-year-old.

I’d just finished the dishes when Jimmy came dragging into the kitchen. His eyes spoke rebellion as he glared at me as though I were the cause of his fate.

Don’t make a mess or I’ll break your fingers, shrimp.

He just smiled wickedly and took a bowl from the dish rack and dropped it on the table. It clattered loudly, spinning a few times before settling. Then he slammed a spoon and a glass down next to it. He was needling me, I just knew it.

Any milk left?

In the fridge.

He yanked the door open and snatched up the carton with equal enthusiasm. Then he grabbed the sugar from the counter next to it while elbowing the fridge door shut. Very meticulously he poured the cereal into his bowl. A couple of flakes fell on the table.

Sorry Kyle, he shot me a remorseful glance out of the corners of his eyes. And a sly little smirk in the corner of his mouth. All the while he hummed a little tune while sprinkling the sugar. Then he sprinkled some on the flakes on the table.

There guys, he winked at them. Carefully pouring the milk he managed to slightly over-fill the bowl. Milk and Corn Flakes joined the others on the table and Jimmy faked surprise. And true to his devilish outbursts, he followed up with impish glee.

Party time! he chirped, Ta Daa! Da, da, ta, da, he marched his spoon across the table and then through the milky spillage.

Then he caught my stare. I started towards him.

Sorry Kyle. I’m not feeling too good you know. And Mom, she wants me to go out and maybe catch pneumonia! Kyle! Arrgh! Kyle! he choked, as I proceeded to wring his scrawny little neck.

Why me Lord? Why’d you stick me with…

Kyle Aaron Richards! Mom popped into the kitchen.

I immediately went to straightening Jimmy’s shirt collar and smoothing his hair.

Oh, Mom, a squeaky innocent attempt. I, ah… I, ah, was just helping Jimmy get ready. Come on buddy, eat up. Its good for you, I glared as friendly as I could.

Get ya later, I whispered a lot lower. And I tweaked his ear real swift like. He winced, but said nothing, and went to cleaning up his mess.

Mom eyed us a skeptical moment then went to the kitchen door where she pulled her car keys off the hook and a tablet off the shelf next to it. Her errands for the day. Jimmy shot me one of his ‘payback’ smiles and snickered.

Little fag, I smacked him on the back of his head when Mom went out to start the car.

Owww! Am not!

Git outta here, ‘fore I pin a bow ribbon on your head!

Mom! he jumped up and headed for the door, ducking my swing.

And you’d better cut that long hippie-hair off, you Michael Jackson freak!

Ya country hillbilly! he stuck his tongue out and darted out the door singing, Oh I had a cow and she went dryyyyy! So I milked my girl and we got hiiiiiiigh!

Jimmy! I’m gonna skin you boy! the car horn honked. Git in here right now!

Kyle? she honked again.

I went to the kitchen door. Mom was standing by the driver’s door with her elbows propped on the roof.

Yeah Mom? Loretta Lynn was pouring from the car radio and Jimmy was making faces at me.

I’ll be gone most of the day, dear.

I know Mom, and I thought, ‘Here it comes. There’s food…’

There’s food in the fridge for lunch. Take the roast out of the freezer and put it in the sink before you go out. You goin’ anywhere today?

Probably down to Clancy’s. Everyone else left town for the weekend. ‘Cept Chris. I’ll probably go over to his place when he gets off work. Or Jerry’s, since he ain’t goin’ down the Gulf. Other’n that I’ll probably just hang out here and put my engine back together or somethin’.

Okay. The number for the dentist is on the fridge. You’ve got Dad’s number too, right? Call your sister and find out what she’s planning to do? Leave a note if you go out…

Okay Mom. Okay Mom. Mom… Earth to Mother… I held up a hand. Hi there, I waved when she finally ceased and acknowledged my teenage presence.

Mom, I know the routine. I’m seventeen, remember? I can handle it. Everything’s cool. This ain’t the first time I’ve been home alone, okay? Just take the brat and have a good day. Okay. Mom? Please, please?

Seventeen, huh? she eyed me up and down, almost like she was just discovering something new about me. So you are. My, my, how time flies. Sorry Honey, see you later," she slid into the driver’s seat, cranked the engine and slipped out of the driveway, with Jimmy hanging outta the window, flinging another one of his teasers.

You picked a fine time to leave me Loociccee! With four lil faggots and… Owww!

Mom caught him a good one on the head, swerving just a little, and made the turn out of the drive. I knew whatever punishment he got would be lifted by the time he got home.

Good old Mom, I chuckled, and went to clean up the rest of the brat’s mess.

Actually, my brother and me get along pretty good. Most of the time. He’s pretty much like a best friend. He can be very sensitive and understanding when he wants to be. Like the time several of my buddies and me went hunting and two of us fell through the ice on the pond down at old man Reever’s place. I caught a bad fever and was laid up for several days. That little turkey did my chores for me! Voluntarily! He even brought me my