War Paint...Battle Cries - Living, Learning, Loving & Ultimately Surviving Life's Little Realities

By Yolanda J. Ash

War Paint...Battle Cries is an honest dissertation on the inevitable little realities of life. It is a compilation of short essays exploring the truth and circumstance of many of the experiences we all have in life. Author Yolanda J. Ash has taken simple words and expounded on them figuratively and theoretically in an attempt to help readers have a deeper understanding and acceptance of the things which happen to us all. In this little book, she explores love, Motherhood, religion, relationships, marijuana, men, women, children and a whole host of other every day topics which affect us all. This is not a "self-help" book in as much as it is a book of spiritual and mental exploration.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312532205

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War Paint...Battle Cries - Living, Learning, Loving & Ultimately Surviving Life's Little Realities

WAR PAINT...BATTLE CRIES

Living, Learning, Loving & Ultimately Suviving Life's Little Realities

By

Yolanda J. Ash

Copyright © 2014 Yolanda J. Ash

VIPER Communications, LTD®

Bringing thoughts to life with striking accuracy!

POB 360729

Decatur, GA  30036-0729

[e-mail]

www.yolandajash.com

All rights reserved. Any part of this book MAY INDEED BE reproduced, transmitted, and shared in any form or by any means with written permission from the author, please. 

ISBN: 978-1-312-53220-5

For speaking requests and to order additional copies, use the contact information above.

Let me know your thoughts!      

WAR PAINT…BATTLE CRIES

Cover Art:  ©RYBBA (Ruth Y. Ash-Barrington) MY MOMMY!

EXTRA SPECIAL, SPECIAL THANKS

To My Creator:  Thanks for everything (only you and I know the real stories of my life).  Thank you for loving me and guiding me, AND, for saving me from myself.  Truly, I would not be here, without you.

To My Mommy:  Thanks for helping me homeschool my baby girl and for being the best example of a strong, virtuous woman.  If I can grow to be half the woman that you are, then I will have accomplished quite a bit!  I am blessed to have had Momma Louise aka Weezie in my life because of Y-O-U!

To My Daddy:  Thanks for being so free hearted and mean.  I’m glad I take after you in lots of ways.  The man that you are is the man that so many men should be. 

To My Daughter:  You will never truly know how you saved my life.  Your birth has renewed me and given me a new lease on life.  Your presence has given me back my Moxie!  I am truly looking forward to watching your life unfold.  I love you; don’t let the bed-bugs bite; I hope to always…see you in the morning; and always, always…may The Creator bless and keep you!

To My Brothers, my nieces and my nephews:  I write in hopes that you will be inspired to chase your dreams as well.  I love you more than I can ever express! 

To My Friends, near & far:  Thank you for appreciating my contemplations and for always encouraging me to share my inner most thoughts and feelings with the world.

Yolanda J. Ash

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

*My Creator

Me/Myself/I

My Zadiyah

My Daddy & Mommy

My Brothers

My Nephews & Nieces (present, and future)

My family by blood

My in-loves

My in-laws

My friends

My dogs and cats…former, present, and future (especially Solo and Weezie, Puff, Rocky, Solomon, Femi, Sheba, Sasha, Bamboo, Strike and Pretty Bird…thanks for singing to us, even though you have been locked up all your life.

My enemies and foes

*My Creator

*I will love you forever and for always for being at the head and the foot of my life…even when I didn’t see you and believe you were there.  My being here, LIVING TODAY is due only to your forgiving and unremitting grace in my life!

Thank you for standing with me when I could not stand alone.  It was you and only you there with me in my darkest of moments.  And it most definitely is you, here with me now, in the light.

MY THESIS OF THOUGHTS

I’ve carried within my heart, millions of thoughts.  Some I’ve shared.  Others, I’ve kept hidden and protected, deep within the recesses of my mind, out of fear of releasing and sharing them with anyone else…but myself.  Over the course of my life, I have held on to a lot of thoughts, about a lot of things.  In the past, these thoughts would explode onto the pages of a book I’ve written here and there, (that I have ultimately burned or fed to the shredder), simply because deep within my heart, no matter how many HUNDREDS OF PAGES I may have written, I needed some sign from The Creator, that my thoughts were worthy of being fruitfully read (ingested) by someone other than myself. 

The birth of my daughter and the realization that in some way, I want to, (must) affect change in this world, in order that I might truthfully instill within her, a conscious understanding of her world, and how it affects her and her own thoughts (as well as those of others), was the thought, inspiration, and impetus for this particular little book.  This alone is confirmation enough for me to now throw my fears and inhibitions out the window…and hopefully open many doors, in both of our lives, and the lives of others.  In exercising my inner courage and moving on the quiet direction of my Creator, I now understand and know that my battles truly are not mine, to be fought alone. 

We all come here equipped with weaponry in order to fight for and win at life.  Only righteous battles are ever truly won.  All the other wars being fought are fruitless games of (wo)man-kind.  Every day we are on this Earth, but not of this Earth, we gun up, put our war paints on, and do battle, (both with ourselves, and with those around us).  The most effective and efficient means of defeating anything, is to kill it with kindness, then nurse it back to life, with love.  For this, I write these words.  I write, for my Creator, for myself, for my Daughter, for my Parents and my Brothers, for my Nieces and Nephews, for my Family & Friends, and for all those I must ultimately love, simply in allowing them inside my heart (inside of me) through the words on the pages of this book.  Although there are millions of people that I may never meet in the flesh; through my thoughts and actions and written words, I can though, meet anyone The Creator should choose for me to meet…in the spirit (from one end of this Globe to another). 

Wow!  Think of all that can happen, simply by opening a book, and opening a mind.  Am I worthy of thinking that I can accomplish this seemingly tantamount task?  Sure I am!  And so is every other person (book), roaming these lands of The Creators’.

Our minds, our thoughts, our experiences and our realities all prepare us to succeed in life, (whether we win or lose) the battle at hand.  I’ve often thought I needed to be physically as bloodthirsty as those around me in the world.  And so, I have acted cruelly, when I could have been more kindly; I have been cold and aloof, when deep inside, my heart was warm and inviting; I have turned my head in denial, when I needed to stare down and defend; and more than I care to admit, I have been a coward, when I should have been confident and courageous enough to speak out.  Frequently, in me being myself, and speaking as my particular heart so happens to see things, I have hurt and offended, when I’ve merely wanted to be truthful (share my truths), about what is on my mind.   

We live in a world that force feeds us conformists’ beliefs and subliminally discourages us to model off one’s self.  When I think about how hard I have fought all my life, simply to remain true to myself, I often have to sit down and take a long deep breath (inhale and exhale), and write something, anything down, or, give in to losing little bits and pieces of my sanity in trying to be, or trying to do, something that is not comfortable for me (spiritually).  I have on many occasions, been reprimanded for simply being me.  Unfair reprimands, arrests, and convictions, have attempted to turn me into someone that I vehemently, am not.  And, I passionately refuse to allow myself to become.  I especially refuse to do so now, for my own sake, and more importantly, for my Daughter’s sake.  If I can’t be me, be who and what The Creator sent me here to be, then who am I really? And, what importance then do I really have in creation?  And…how can I truthfully encourage my Daughter to follow her heart…as it was designed in HEAVEN?

You see, I have been reprimanded for being a woman (in more ways than one); I have been reprimanded, for having darker bloods coursing through my veins (definitely in more ways than one); I have been reprimanded for speaking the truth (shooting from the hip), or in not keeping with contentious protocol, I have been counseled to be more diplomatic, when the raw truth would have set me (and whomever I was speaking with), free…at least for a moment.  The saying goes, the truth shall set you free.  The reality is, the true truth, will set us all free!  All of these insensitive reprimands have caused me to become very angry, and ready to fight!  Mother instinct now gives me right to take names and kick some ass, if need be, when it comes to protecting my precious little blessed sign sent from The Creator. 

In my life, I have taken a few punches, physically, mentally and spiritually.   I have thrown a few good ones as well.  Every day of my life (which is not too much unlike anyone else’s life), I fight (I call on my own will power) to survive, in this world we all live in.  For me, living is loves (yes, in the plural), and living is life.  Putting thoughts (mine or anyone else’s) on paper is both love and, it brings and sustains life, for me.  I like the whole documentation of seeing things in black and white and every color in between.

Each of us ingests literally zillions of thoughts (both ours and those of others) each and every day of our lives.  It’s no wonder most folks are operating functionally insane.  Boy, do I feel blessed to be delivered from that malady.  My thoughts, comingled with other folk’s thoughts have been a dangerous cocktail and a hard pill for me to swallow in my life.  However, I find that when I listen closely to my own thoughts, I am much more able to hear The Creator’s thoughts, designed expressly for me, Yolanda J. Ash.

I am far from perfect, no matter how hard I have often tried to be.  When I listen to the whispers of my Creators’ voice in my heart and spirit, I have always been blessed.  Often, in order to accept my blessings, I have had to speed up to the challenge and task at hand, yet slow down to simply enjoy the simply simple things in life…like the laughter of my daughter’s heart.  After a hard day’s work, she most often speeds me up to keeping up with life.  In her energetic love and vitality, she has taught me to slow down (usually from exhaustion from trying to keep up with her), and just enjoy simple blessings like being able to look into her beautiful brown eyes every night and every day.  To wake up to her sunshine, come rain or shine!

I write this book in the following order of importance to my heart:

                                                                            TTo please My Creator, first and fore mostly, regardless of thought or judgment of any woman or man;

                                                                            TTo please my own heart in what I am inspired to share, and hopefully connect with other hearts beating in this world;

                                                                            TTo have a written documentation of how I see life, (at this particular juncture) of my life;

                                                                            TTo be able to show, not tell my daughter how to lead an honest life of piousness, purity and proper thoughts and actions (and not having to become a nun in doing so);

                                                                            TTo be flourishing in my marketing and promotion of my thoughts, in order to l(earn) a living and provide for my daughter and myself and my family and my chosen loved ones;

                                                                            TTo be at peace with myself, thereby bringing peace to others…

                                                                            …To prayerfully influence a ripple of love on the rapturous waters of life!

Lub ya.  And please folks, lub one another…all this hatin’ we got going on in the world right about now is a tad bit boring and ever so mundane.  Prayerfully, my daughter’s generation will finally get it and put all malice and mayhem to rest.

Let me know your thoughts,

YOLANDA J. ASH 

[e-mail]

www.yolandajash.com

[e-mail]

JUST A FEW OF LIFE’S REALITIES

A WOMAN’S PREROGATIVE

Womanhood is a profound and wonderful reality (in spite of all the challenges and struggles that come with the territory).  Being a woman means having the privilege, choice and the anatomical ability to carry life…and ultimately, to labor and deliver a child unto this world.  Being a woman also means having the capability of changing our minds as quickly and as often as we might change our lipstick and "war paint"…if we so choose to wear it…and then, blaming it all on PMS in the end!

One inescapable truth and reality of being a woman though, is that we cannot release ourselves from man…no matter how hard we may try to (or how hard we may be forced to try to by today’s befuddled societal norms).  As strong, thinking, FEAR-LESS AND LOVING WOMEN, we can though, unleash ourselves from the passé beliefs, idiotic standards, demeaning definitions, and immaterial roles mankind and society at large attempts to ascribe for us to play in relation to our children, our men, our families, and our world in general.  In fact, it would seem that The Creator and The Universe intended for woman to be just a wee bit more vested than man is, in this beautiful concept and reality of life, simply because only a woman can both labor and toil.  No matter how hard or how long a man may toil, the inexorable truth of the matter is that a man can never be a woman, nor will he ever labor, as we women do.  It is through our labors that we continue to bring mankind through, into, and unto this world.  Why then, should we (and do we) continue sitting back and allowing the fruits of our labor, our children, (who ultimately grow up to be men and women of this world), be defiled, destroyed and devoured by the countless and senseless wars being allowed to be waged against them, and us…BOTH PHYSICALLY AND SPIRITUALLY?

Propagandist pandering would have us believe that we are better off either completely without the distraction of a man in our lives; or in embracing alternative lifestyles (which are being perpetrated as just as normal and as good), as the balance of exponential and UNIVERSAL PEACE resulting from a woman and a man being equally yoked…whether in friendship, in business and, most importantly, in spiritual union.  This confused and spiritually impaired world we live in would have us believe that a man can handle and run things without us and our tears and emotions or, as is perpetrated as standard these days, that we don’t really need a man for much…other than for the obvious…sperm donation and surrogate procreation.  Let’s not get things twisted.  Woman simply would not exist without man…and neither would he exist, without her.

Each and every one of us began as a seemingly insignificant zygote in our Mother’s womb.  It is not until ovum meets spermatozoon, that the reality of the relationship between woman and man has any proper relevance and perspective…in the grander scheme of things.

Although there are women who act and behave like men, think like men, fight and kill like men, provide for their families like men, curse and cuss like men, are strong like men, and are gentle like some men, the most basic truth that sets all women apart from men is simply a matter of anatomies (both physical and mental).  Women and men are anatomically built differently, therefore; we think, react, realize and respond to things (life) differently.  Thank goodness The Creator knew better than to make us just alike.  And, more importantly, although a woman can get pretty darn close to actually being a man, IN REALITY she never really can BE A REAL MAN, (even if altered physically, through surgeries and hormones), now can she? 

Women must play certain roles in this world as only women have been divinely ordained to do.  So true, is for man.

It is when we begin to confuse and bemuse our roles and the significances thereof that our deepest problems manifest. 

Both man and woman have been equipped with intuition.  We both know and we both feel when things are not quite right, however, and in most cases, we carry on, business as usual.   As women, we are guilty of standing back as our men wage wars against one another, then pack up and ship out to go fight those wars; as women we are guilty of allowing our sons (and now days even our daughters) to be deployed to fight in battles that their only real connection to is a sick allegiance (if this allegiance requires of them to kill others or themselves), to citizenship and nationality.  As women, we are most especially guilty of not banding and bonding together, regardless of our ethnicities and social standings in this world to come together as a united front and powerful feminine voice for change.  Perhaps, we are even guilty of not being genuinely adamant about what happens in and to the lives of the countless numbers of children we labor to bring into this beautiful (yet tainted) world.

It truly is a woman’s prerogative to speak up and to speak out about injustices and things we know, in our hearts, (and can feel in the deepest recesses of our wombs), to be wrong and counter-productive to our ultimate task (both that of man and of woman), of procreating and guiding our species in directions which are acceptable to The Creator.  Woman was created as a physical manifestation and reminder of the emotional and softer side of creation.  From the looks of things, we all are grossly missing the mark.  Our children are being taught hate from our actions (or lack thereof); our children are being allowed to be immoral and insensitive; and, our children are being socialized to concede and compromise, without ever really being taught and trained how to stand up tall and fight fairly, for those things we know, as Mothers (and as Fathers), are right and acceptable to all creation.  It is way beyond the time for women (and men), to exercise our prerogatives to stop being willing (and often unwilling) participants in the travesties of this world.  We must begin to choose to stand up to each other, when we act as bullies and we are wrong.  We must stand beside each other, when we are correct and forthright; and, we must stand behind each other, in those things that benefit all mankind, regardless of our human insignificancies.

Always R-E-S-P-E-C-T a woman’s prerogative and remember:  Women hold up half the world…often, with a baby (babies) in tow

ANCESTORS

Our ancestors encompass all of whom we each are, as individuals.  There simply is no escaping this little reality.  Our bloodlines are those whom we are related to through flesh & blood (and in Spirit). Where family is concerned, there is a precious, invisible (cord) that ties us together, one generation to the next.  The way we feel and act and respond to the world is most probably the workings of the blood that courses within our veins.  Perhaps there are personal idiosyncrasies that you possess, which you can’t quite explain or account for.  Maybe you have a quick temper (like most people in my family).  Maybe you have an uncanny wit; a propensity for addictive behaviors, or carry deep rooted emotions and unexplained angers; or perhaps you have exceptional mental and physical prowess or suffer from functional insanity…as we all do to some degree.   Every aspect of whom we are as individuals is inextricably connected to the people we are related to through blood bonds and inheritance, whether we actively l-o-v-e them or not.  Ancestry also includes those that are connected to us, through marriage. 

For me, family, (both immediate and extended) has always been of special importance to my heart.  Even though there are those family members that I am not necessarily physically close to, either by choice or by proximity, my heart extends to them always, because I know that in loving my family I ultimately learn to love myself that much more.

Increasing family connections allows us opportunities to get to know and understand ourselves BETTER.  My fondest memories (and experiences) as a child are those going home to Tallahassee, Florida; spending time with my Grandparents; enjoying fun and mischief with my many crazy cousins; listening to family good news and gossip from loving Aunts and being spoiled by protective and doting Uncles.  My Grandmother, (rest in peace), is my ace.  She shared knowledge (both worldly and spiritual) that I still rely on for strength, now today.

I always find a special comfort in knowing that my real family will love me, unconditionally, and they love me, in spite of truly knowing me (the good, the bad and the ugly of me).  Family reunions and family gatherings for celebrations of marriages and births, and times for remembrances and recollections at funerals have provided me with invaluable memories that I will carry with me, forever in my heart. 

I intend to pass this legacy of loving family on to my daughter because more than anything I desire to provide her with, I want to give her love of herself, *No Matter.

*No Matter was the forthcoming album to be released by my beloved cousin Kish Kishione Barrington, who was brutally murdered in the prime of his life.  Make music and create, now, with the angles, my love.

Pay