"Dad, I'm Sorry I'm Autistic"

By Tom Chestone

A father's perspective on raising an autistic child, and exposing the failures of the medical community in their use of medication as a treatment. Essential information every parent needs to know, especially those with special needs children.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 29, 2011
• ISBN: 9781312836518

Book preview

"Dad, I'm Sorry I'm Autistic"

Dad, I'm Sorry I’m Autistic

by

Tom Chestone

Copyright © 2009 Thomas E. Chestone

Revised January 15, 2015

978-1-312-83651-8

All Rights Reserved.  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the author.

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Family

Chapter 2

The Agony of Truth

Chapter 3

Strong Wills of the Loving Parents

Chapter 4

Elite Psychiatry

Chapter 5

Out of Control with no Controls

Chapter 6

A New Possibility and Hope

Chapter 7

Conflict and Debate with Those in Control

Chapter 8

The Lifeboat Just Out of Reach

Chapter 9

Legal Pressure

Chapter 10

The Business of Warehousing People

Introduction

I was compelled to write this book because I felt an extremely urgent need to awaken the general public to the current lack of real treatment available to many children – those deemed unfit to participate in what is considered a typical educational environment, due to their diagnosis as autistic and/or classification as special needs.

In writing this book, I invite the medical community to consider, and better understand the long-term experience and perspective of the families of such children. They will tell you that the medical profession needs to rethink the methods of treatment currently in place, so as to better affect a positive change in the behavior of those diagnosed as autistic. The children most in need of help – and most at risk psychologically and emotionally – are those placed in residential treatment facilities and left to fend for themselves in an environment they just don’t understand, and completely inadequate in helping them.

It is my sincere hope that this book will awaken the public to the damaging effects that the current drug therapy being prescribed and administered to such children has on them, in this current feeble, common attempt to quell and diminish aggressive and inappropriate behavior.  This is a behavior that expresses frustration and pain resulting from feelings of being rejected, especially when interacting with their peers. Real or imagined in their minds, their perspective cannot be ignored, nor medicated away.

While a vast amount of research has been conducted regarding developmentally disabled people, my experiences have led me to believe that their mindset has been discounted as immaterial in seeking a long-term remedy.  Yet understanding it is probably the most important aspect in affecting a change in their behavior. None of us can accept being discounted as if we are nonessential; or being disrespected by a peer, whether by verbal, visual, or non-visual cues.  This is a huge obstacle in their mindset that must be overcome.

Understanding and empathy do not develop from the preconceived notions acquired in school by the aspiring mental health professional and psychiatrist.  Especially if the notion is based on how one may profit from the massive number of needy souls out there, just waiting to be treated. To see them, their family, and insurance benefits as a market has become a tragic state, searing the consciousness of way too many minds.  That is not to say that all fall into this category.  I have met many dedicated and loving therapists over the years.

I seek a real and plausible remedy for these souls and especially for my most beloved daughter, Gabrielle, who is hurting and in great need of a therapy.  A therapy that will enable her to identify herself as socially fitting in,, and then hopefully become a productive member of society.  I believe I have finally found this remedy, yet even so, it is still beyond my reach and hers.  Gabrielle and so many people like her need our help now….So it is my hope that you will be profoundly moved to care, by this writing…

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my daughter Gabrielle.

Acknowledgements

I would especially like to thank my brother-in-law,

Simon Ruebens, for the consistent and steadfast

encouragement he provided me to write this book.  He

helped assure me that I could do it in spite of my having no previous experience in authorship.  I also extend my gratitude to my dad, Al Chestone, who spent countless hours of his time in helping me during this endeavor.  He is an incredible example to me of kindness, love and compassion.

Chapter 1

Family

My earliest memory, at about the age of four (1957), was of watching FBI agents firing Thompson Machine Guns (Tommy Guns) at a shooting range in Peekskill, New York.  With all the noise and action I was terrified. But I knew my dad was right there with me, and that made me feel safe.  It suddenly began to pour torrential rains on all of us. I found myself taking up the rear, chasing after all the agents who were running on what had become a now muddy dirt road toward shelter. I screamed Daddy wait for me! He was about five feet in front of me kicking mud up in my face as he ran.  Hearing my cry, he turned around and picked me up with a big reassuring smile on his face and carried me to shelter. 

Security, just like a blanket, was always there for me.  Doesn’t life really fly by in moments, the same way? I believe it is in these moments that we develop the very foundation of our character and values, in essence who we are, and want to be. Unfortunately for some of us, that security blanket would be better described as a thin sheet.

I always valued my very close-knit family all through my childhood.  During that time, for thirty years, my dad worked in New York City following foreign spies around town.  He would watch their forced deportation after catching them stealing intelligence secrets.  There was nothing more about his job that I knew or could convey here.  What he did at work was unknown to me. Yet I always knew that I could trust him, even as he tactfully dodged every question I had for him.  It didn’t take long for me to just give up asking the questions.  I understand now that he must have viewed me as any other citizen, who was asking the pentagon for military intelligence as to a battle plan during an invasion.   I just didn’t need to know.

As I think back on the early years of my own life; I was the middle child of five, having two older sisters, Lynn and Sue, one younger brother, Randy, and a younger sister, Cathy.  For the most part I was just your average child.   Yet I had always received positive affirmations as I grew up, usually from my parents, like, You can do it, just go for it.  And for the most part I did fulfill the many expectations of my mom and dad.  Neighborhood and school friends always surrounded me, so I never felt alone.

What a great experience it was to have that care, and acceptance given to me at those moments in my life. It was an almost inbreeding of confidence, just inserted subliminally into my psyche, as I tried to find my way.  I was very blessed as I grew older, as a result.  It needs to happen to all of us, and most especially to those who are delayed in their development.

Another encouraging moment stands out in my memory, which came from an extremely talented and very popular athlete and neighbor named Johnny Betancourt.  It happened in my eighth grade school year during the middle of a playoff game. I was dribbling a basketball for St Andrew of Westwood, New Jersey against Mount Carmel.  I saw Johnny in the hallway as I stood bouncing the ball at the top of the key.  I was so happy to see him at the game.  Through the white noise of the crowd, I saw him yell to me Drive, as he punched his right fisted arm forward in the air.  I knew exactly