When It All Finally Started to Make Sense

By Kelly Stewart

Kelly Stewart, writer/comedian/author is pleased to present his new book, "When it all Finally Started to Make Sense". This book will take you on a roller coaster of emotion as we relive some of the fun and enjoyable times we had in a younger life. The book intertwines the story of growing up in a small town, and the many exciting times with the characters involved. But what it also does is recount later times in life, and some of the hardships while dealing with stress and depression as a family. This book was written to help people deal with those exact problems in their life today, by giving them the tools they need to overcome them. If you know Kelly and read the book, you will say that it definitely is him to a tee. If you do not know him, you will put the book down at the end, feeling like you have visited an old friend. So take a minute, sit down, and come on a journey. We need to talk.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 12, 2011
• ISBN: 9781257602230

Book preview

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HOW IT ALL BEGAN:

It all began back in 1963; as the three wise men entered into a small stable in Marmora. Ok; let’s get the rules straight. I will no longer make references in which I seem holy. Obviously, you will see more of that as the story unfolds.

Back in 1963; while traveling in JFK’s motorcade; my mother gave birth on a grassy nole to a beautiful baby boy.

Possibly; it was more likely to have been in a hospital in Peterborough, Ontario; Canada. I wasn’t much up on history in 1963; as I was only a newborn.

I always thought the part of the story about the motorcade didn’t make sense because I don’t even think JFK was in Peterborough that weekend.

It was more likely to be friend’s of my dad’s coming from the Legion.

Well, for authenticity, a motorcade is a motorcade.

Actually after two unsuccessful tries to have an award winning child; luck finally shined on my parents in 1963.

My mother was so proud that she put it on her resume’, with a picture of myself.

My dad was so proud; he just bought a pitcher of beer with his friends.

Both would lead me to where I am today.

Set backs came early in life. I didn’t learn to walk until I was five. Some people I tell think it was a disability, until I explained that I was just too cute to put down.

Can’t learn to walk if they won’t put you on the ground. they used to say.

It was sort of a sad time though, as my uncle died that year. Died in his sleep! Very peaceful for him; but not for the other three in the back seat; screaming their heads off for him to wake up.

The first five years were routine with a lot of Mr. Magoo; playing outside; watching my brother breast feed till he was sixteen. (Most embarrassing thing I had ever seen in a shopping mall).

My mother had to put a set of breasts on the fridge door; just so he knew where to look when he went away to college.

DISCOVERING THE WORLD OF EDUCATION:

In 1968; my parents had listened to me long enough that they decided to share me with the rest of the world.

Unknown to me at that time; the teachers actually did know more than I did. Because of that, we had quite a time figuring out who was going to have control; and; with a little initiative; guess who won.

Now, twenty-four years into a marriage; I find the same principal still works.

The idea is to never let the other person know that you are in control.

The words to a teacher; At least we don’t have to go outside today in this heat! usually gets the job done.

How fast was I going Officer; it was my fault will also work.

On the other hand; the phrase; There was a list of things you wanted done dear? probably just won’t cut it.

Looking back through the years after coaching hockey; trying to raise kids; and teaching adult education; some interesting things came to light. I realized that the teacher was not necessarily the smartest person in the room; but had the ability to transfer ideas and thoughts to another person allowing them to learn.

The successful teachers today realize this.

Now that we have been yakking about all that stuff; we almost missed the start of school!

With my trusty Scooby Doo lunch box in hand; I headed out on the long and monotonous 100 yard journey to school.

When I am a grandfather; the story will go: In my days; we had to walk to school; even if the snow was up to the fences.

That being the case, then why didn’t my grandfather stay on the plowed roads; I ask?

It was quite the journey. One had to watch for stray dogs; stray kids; and even the time I said I couldn’t go to school because the cows were in the way. Living in town; my mother would not believe me until she looked outside.

Those lovely bovines gave me the morning off until the owner was able to retrieve them. Mom apparently was afraid of cows; likely the reason we very rarely had steak for supper.

To some of you 100 yards doesn’t seem like far, but when your legs are only two feet long; and your trusty Scooby Doo lunch pail is completely full; that extra 36 pounds can devastate you.

Some times I had to eat half my lunch on the way; just so that I could make it.

Now you know why they have low carb diets for the kids that grew up when I did.

If I had had a personal trainer to carry my trusty Scooby Doo lunch pail for me; do you actually think I would be where I am today?

Finally; my journey was over. There it was! This was the school that my siblings had talked about being thrown out of.

My destiny was to make it through Kindergarten Graduation; and then, I would already be ahead of them. (Actually they turned out to be a nurse and a financial loan shark; both of which I will have to rely on throughout my life).

Later in life; thinking of my school days reminded me of going to the mother in laws for supper on a Friday night; instead of the hockey game.

Even though it seemed like a bad idea at the start, it turned out that once you were there, you actually had fun.

My Kindergarten teacher was a wonderful woman known as Mrs. Hughes. Her kindness; compassion; and caring for little ones; made her someone special for everyone to remember. Her influence she bestowed on the children that came to her class; would make a mark that would last throughout their life. Her ability to take a frightened child; a troubled child; or someone in the middle; and blend them into one smooth flowing class room; was truly a unique talent.

My most memorable experience in her class came at rest time. At a certain part of the day; we would take out towels and