Tender Love and Care

By Janine Spencer

This is about a young girl, trying to find her place in the world. She's always in trouble and trying fight the world. That's all before she meets Blake, the man who will change her life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 31, 2011
• ISBN: 9781447582618

Book preview

978-1-44758-261-8

Chapter 1

When I was six years old, I was put into foster care. My name is Jamie Clarke. I am eighteen years old and this is the story of my life in foster care and before.

I was in a different home every six months, sometimes less, never more. Some homes were better than others.

My life has been a downward spiral, from the top with happiness and down into a bottomless pit of depression, anger and frustration. From the age of six, all I remember is my parents, Will and Amanda arguing all the time. They acted happy in front of me, but at night when they thought I was asleep, they had screaming matches. My mother and father got married because my mother was pregnant with me. My mother was an artist. She had work in galleries all over the United States and my father was a music agent.

One Monday morning, my mother awakened me. I opened my eyes and saw my mother sitting next to me on my bed. She had chestnut brown hair, dark brown eyes and olive skin. She was wearing a light blue blouse and a darker blue skirt and white pumps.

I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes. My mother got up and walked to my wardrobe and pulled out a pink dress and pink shoes. I got out of bed and walked to stand by mother. She smiled down at me.

What do you think, baby girl? she asked. I smiled up at her. Pink it is then. Lets get you to the bathroom. Come on. She took my hand and led me to the bathroom where she washed my face and hands and brushed my teeth. She took me back to my bedroom where she put the pink dress and the shoes on me and put my hair up in a pink ribbon.

My mother took me down stairs to the kitchen where my father was sitting, eating bacon, eggs, sausages and sun dried tomatoes. His face brightened when he saw me. My mother sat me down next to him and he kissed me in the cheek.

Good morning, Jamie. Did you sleep well? my father asked. I smiled up at him.

I had a dream with bunny’s. I answered. My father laughed and hugged me. I always had dreams about fluffy animals because it was better than hearing my parents shout at each other. They didn’t know that I heard them arguing the night before.

After breakfast my mother and I got into her SUV and she drove me to school. My teacher, Miss Fisher let the class draw pictures and I remember drawing a picture of my mother and father fighting… Jamie! Come on. You’re in a daze again. My foster mother, Christina Thomas was shaking me by the shoulders. I blinked and looked at her. She was a tall brunette with icy blue eyes and pale skin. She smiled at me when I snapped out of my little reminisce. There you are. You have to try to stop going back there, Jamie. You can’t change the past. Christina said softly. I looked around and remembered that I was sitting at the dinner table with the family. Brooke, Eddie Tony, Rob and Anya were sitting staring at me.

Easier said than done. I’m going to bed. I muttered as I stood up and bolted from the room. I ran up the stairs to the room that I share with Brooke and sat on my bed.

Brooke is Christina and Eddie’s real daughter. I had been with the Thomas’s for just over a month. They were okay, but I learned not to get too attached. The bedroom door opened and Brooke stood in the doorway with her arms folded.

Where were you tonight? she asked. I looked up at her with my eyes stinging with hot tears. I was fighting them with success.

I was four years old. It was the day I drew a picture of my mother and father fighting. I try so hard not to go back there, but I can’t help it, Brooke. I answered. I hate them. I got up off my bed and headed for the door. I walked past Brooke and headed for the stairs.

Where you goin’? Brooke called after me.

Out. I need some space. I walked down the stairs and into the living room where I saw Tony, Rob and Anya doing their homework. Christina was in the kitchen doing the washing up. I bumped into Eddie on my way out of the front door.

Going somewhere, Jamie? he asked.

Yeah. Out the front door. I answered and went to walk past Eddie, but he put his arm in front of me and blocked my way. What?

Jamie, you have to do your homework. Eddie told me. I thought he was kidding.

I’ll do it later, I promise. I just need to clear my head. Please, Eddie. Just half an hour. I pleaded. I promise I won’t be any longer than thirty minutes.

Half an hour? he asked. I nodded my head. Okay. When you come back, I wanna see your head in those books.

I will even wear those goofy glasses and take an apple in to school for my teacher tomorrow. I joked. He moved his arm out of my way and I walked out of the house laughing to myself.

I walked to Sunset Boulevard and saw some of my friends. Martin, my special guy of the week walked over to me, kissed me and offered me a bottle of Vodka and OJ. Martin was tall with light brown hair and dark brown eyes, they were almost black. He was well toned with a dragon tattoo on his back. He was wearing a black jacket with a white T-shirt and black jeans. He guided me over to the others who whooped and cheered when they saw me. I stood next to Katie. She had shoulder length black curly hair and brown eyes. She was wearing a light blue cut off top with a short white skirt with black ankle boots. She was sitting on a wall with a bottle of pure Vodka. She hated mixers. She only mixed Jack Daniels with Coke. Mellissa, a girl with long dark brown hair and one blue eye and one green was wearing a black tank top and red pants with black knee boots. She was drinking a bottle of Bicardi. Roxy was a girl with shoulder length blond hair with light brown highlights and green eyes. She was wearing red leather pants and a black top with red boots. She was smoking a cigarette. She offered me a cigarette and I took it.

Thanks. I said as I took a lighter off Katie. I took a drag of my smoke and a long swallow of vodka and OJ. Derek was a tall, good-looking guy with bleached hair and brown eyes. He was wearing a black sports jacket with a black T-shirt and black jeans. I dated him the week before I started dating Martin. I dated Kyle a week before I dated Derek. Kyle is tall, good-looking with ash blond hair and blue eyes. He was wearing a white T-shirt with blue jeans. He was standing next to Katie with his arm around her waist.

What time do you have to be back? Martin asked me. I smiled and took another long swallow of my drink.

I said I’d only be half an hour. I promised, but what the hell do promises mean to me? Not a damn thing. I said with a tone of anger in my voice.

The only promises that are good for somethin’ are the one’s we make to ourselves. Mellissa sighed. I totally understand what you mean, I thought. Mellissa is an only child, her mother is a single mother and her good-for-nothing father bailed on them when Mellissa was four years old.

Even those promises are worthless sometimes. We’re our own worst enemies sometimes. Katie said thoughtfully. Again, I totally understood. So, Jamie, you look severely thoughtful right now. What’s in your head? she asked. She always liked to know what people were thinking. She wants to be a Psychology student when, if she graduates from high school. We spend most of our time ditching school. I gave her a smile of deviousity.

I’m thinkin’ up some crime or misdemeanour and then getting Martin in the back of his car. I teased. Martin’s eyes twinkled with delight. But maybe the misdemeanour would be more exciting. Martin’s face dissolved from delight to disappointment. Katie, Mellissa and Roxy laughed. I took a long swallow of Tequila then finished my smoke and threw the butt to the ground.

So, how’s the family? Roxy asked. You’ve been there a month now, right? I looked at her and did a small calculation in my head and nodded.

Yeah, a little over. With any luck, I’ll be gone within the next month. I replied. They all stared at me with questioning eyes. "They’re just too tolerant, I don’t like it.

They try to make me do my homework and they’re too trusting. It’s no fun! All my other foster homes have been small challenges, but this one is like playing tag, but with everybody standing still." I explained.

Poor Jamie. You need to let your hair sown. You need booze, booze, booze and more booze. Waddya say? Katie asked with a smile. Her father is out for the night with his latest younger squeeze. Her mother died seven years ago. It put Katie on the wrong side of the tracks.

I suppose you’re right. Yeah, I want booze, booze and more booze. I laughed. I turned to Martin. And one more thing.

Teasing? He asked. I shook my head and took his hand. I took a bottle of Jack Daniels off Derek and led Martin to his Mustang. I glanced back at Katie, Mellissa and Roxy and giggled.

I got out of the car and lit another cigarette. Martin and I had drunk half the bottle of JD in the car while we were cooling off. I gave the other half to Roxy. I looked around but couldn’t see Katie or Kyle. I asked Roxy where they were and she nodded over to a dark blue VW Beetle; Katie’s car. I immediately caught her drift. Martin walked over to us and took a long drag of my smoke. Mellissa and Derek were leaning against the wall making out. I took a hold of Martin’s wrist and looked at his watch. It was almost nine o’clock. It was way too early to go home yet. Katie and Kyle came walking over to us, Kyle was adjusting his blue jeans. Katie was looking flushed, so I took the JD off Roxy and gave it to Katie. She took it and took a long swallow, a very long swallow, so long that I laughed and took the bottle off her.

Take it easy! The night is still young. I gave the bottle to Mellissa when she and Derek came over and she put her arm around me.

Yeah, Kate. Save some for the rest of us. I need a smoke. Mellissa said. Roxy handed Mellissa and me cigarettes. I thought for a moment with a smile.

I might not go back tonight. I’m gonna stay out all night and see how crazy it drives them. I said to my friends. Mellissa and Katie laughed. Roxy smiled and took a long swallow of JD. I could just imagine Eddie and Christina doing their nut. It would have been more fun if they weren’t so damn tolerant.

Crash at my place tonight. My dad is out with a mere child. I have a stash of booze in my room. Kate said.

Sounds like a scream. I replied. Kate took the bottle of JD off Roxy and I took the Vodka and OJ off Kyle and we clinked our bottles together and drank what was left, which wasn’t a whole lot. We had more in Derek, Martin and Kyle’s cars.

Half an hour went by and Kate was really tipsy and laughing at anything and everything. She had a bottle of Vodka in her hand and I was starting to worry about her. She was drinking way too much in a short space of time. I was tempted to talk my way out of staying with her, but thought differently because I didn’t feel right about leaving her alone in the state she was in.

Jamie, I have a question for you. Kate sang. I looked at her, her eyes were glazes over and her arms were limp on her lap. She was sitting on the wall again. Kyle was standing next to her with his arm around her waist for support in case she fell. Why do you date so many guys?

Because I am a one week girl. I don’t want serious, I want fun. Why have a serious boyfriend when there is so much fun to be had? I’m not gonna get myself knocked up, end my life, then resent the kid and have him or her put into care. Over my dead body. I answered. Katie asked me that question all the time and I gave the same answer. Mellissa, Roxy, Derek, Martin and Kyle whooped at my answer. Katie decided to puke instead of laugh. It’s about time, I thought. I walked over to her, patted her back and then took the bottle of Vodka off her and drank it myself. Kyle got her down off the wall and held her hair back while she spewed her guts out. While she was being sick, Kyle was smiling over at us and rubbing her back, saying ‘Attergirl, attergirl’ over and over. When Kate had finished puking, she said that she wasn’t going to drink anymore tonight, she’d had enough. It was just what I was hoping she’d say.

Because Kate was so out of it, I had to drive us back to her place after the others went home. It was two-thirty in the morning. Kate and I were laughing about the state I hoped I was putting Eddie and Christina in. Kate and I changed and got into bed. We decided to leave the booze for another night when the others can enjoy them with us.

Jamie, do you ever want kids? Kate asked sleepily. That was one question she had never asked me before. I first thought it was the drink talking but when I looked at her, she was eagerly waiting for my answer.

"Not right now. I need to sort out who I am and what I want out of life before I can even think about bringing a kid into the world.