Ginger Nemesis

By Andrew Mitchell

Perhaps still slightly bitter about the ruination of her wedding day or perhaps just facing the truth to the old adage that a woman’s work is never done. By her axe she rules summarily swift judgements of much pain and destruction and by her zombie pirate captain bra/conscience she once more carves her way through herstory Another seven epic tales not entirely linked with the last seven as Elspeth battles those that betrayed her, pirates, slavers, masters of the arcane arts and the ever present group of her elderly aunts that think she should be settling down and having babies.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Aug 14, 2016
• ISBN: 9781365328428

Andrew Mitchell

Andrew Mitchell obtained his D Phil and a DSc from Oxford and has had an international career in geology. From the early 1960’s to the late 1980’s he was an exploration geologist for the then British Service in Vanu Atu, and in Thailand, Myanmar, Nepal, and the Philippines on Colombo Plan and UN projects. After consulting for various minerals companies in Eastern European and Asian countries from 1990 to 1995, he joined Ivanhoe Myanmar and until 2011 was based in Myanmar responsible for the company’s minerals exploration. He has spent more than half of his career in Myanmar and is familiar with the country’s world-class mineral deposits. He has authored or co-authored about 100 papers on tectonics and mineralization. His first book Mineral Deposits and Global Tectonic Settings (Academic Press, 1981) was followed by Epithermal Gold in the Philippines (Academic Press, 1991).

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Ginger Nemesis

Ginger Nemesis

by

MALEX

Copyright © 2014 by Andrew Mitchell and Boom Shadow Productions

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchase

ISBN: 978-1-365-32842-8

Cover Artist: Paul Alexandrescu

Boom Shadow Productions

0403 595 229

[e-mail]

Dedicated to

Adrianne, Alexandra, Belinda, Christine, Clare, Kristy & Lauren

Elzaki

Broken and betrayed in a world that has forgotten her honour and heroic deeds as well as, rather fortunately, one or two minor misdemeanours ranging from pillaging criminally under-defended villages to wanton genocide, Elspeth the would be queen of the lands of Kaliceto, now finds herself alone and bound in servitude upon a slave ship heading to the lands of the east.

With the great cataclysm invoked by random princess sacrifice and later averted by the slaying of the resurrected ancient evils possibly through the discovery of a mandolin not meant for this world, Elspeth had succeeded where all others had failed where even death itself could only cause her pause. However an ill-advised drinking binge turned head-butting contest in celebration proved to be her undoing.

Ripped asunder from her paper bag armour and chained like an animal to other lost souls sharing her fate, Elspeth ceaselessly toiled at the massive wooden shaft of the oar clutched in her hands. The spectacle of several dozen sweaty shirtless muscle-bound gorillas chiselled by hardened labour was not lost on her but the general annoyance of the growing blisters on her hands and the abject rudeness of her captors not even asking her if she wished to par take in acts of bondage, Elspeth merely fumes in desire for an expedited escape.

Having lost track of the days of her captivity but somehow managing to maintain her usual svelte silky smooth legs and flawless hair and makeup, Elspeth took time to inspect her nails which had taken the brunt of her current incarceration. Chipped didn’t even begin to describe the state they were in.

Contemplate not your nails lest ye get the whip again! Cackled the toothless withered old man chained next to her. Nigh on fifty years I be rowing this boat and ye have got to be lest the third prettiest thing I ever be chained to.

Elspeth resumed rowing but eyeballed the expository old man who was little more than semi rotting skin and bone and wondered why the crew of the slave ship had placed the only woman on board on the same oar with the crusty old zombie-esque man, who by twist of fate had been allowed to keep his elaborate if not somewhat ratty pirate attire. With their combined muscle mass being barely that of a bicep of one of the shaven gorillas, the boat no doubt would be in a permanent turn. Always the expert at calculating the power output of any shirtless male specimen in her presence, Elspeth was able to determine the exact deviation in the boat’s charted course.

Ye be hatching a plan? There ain’t be no escape we be alone in the middle of the ocean. And when they catch ya they execute ya and feed ya to the sharks, then kill those sharks and feed them to the other slaves before killing those slaves and feeding them to other sharks. I danged done near escaped three times and each time they put me to death the very same way!

Somewhat prone to exaggeration are you? Elspeth muttered.

Exagermerate? Not in all me three hundred fifty years of life. Ye be stuck here so to pass the time, why not tell me the tale of how you came to be here on this ship.

Whilst the temptation of indulging in answering the question of ‘And how was your day?’ was ever present, Elspeth decided that just getting on with things was the far more prudent course of action. With her new slave girl attire consisting of nothing more than a structurally comprised flowing skirt, Elspeth used the monotonous beat of the hortator’s drum and the rhythm her own rowing action to attempt a dance of much eroticism in an attempt to enflame the lustful passions of the guards. Whilst being long at sea, the presence of anything even remotely girly was bound to garner attention; it was in fact the sudden onset of a fatal heart attack of the withered old man next to her that roused the most interest.

Ah an unfortunate outcome but I assure that your sacrifice will not be in vain. Elspeth whispered apologetically to the slumped body of the old man as the guards loomed closer.

With the guards in striking distance but with Elspeth well restrained by the chains, she lashed out with her well defined and slender cheek bones to the groin of the nearest guard which thanks to her seated position was at head height. The guard fell in a mass of tears as if he was now mourning the loss of any potential grandchildren. Another guard surged forward with an axe in an effort to bisect Elspeth’s head. In a deft move Elspeth raised her manacled hands, the chain between which was then conveniently severed by said axe. With her hands now free, she grabbed the guard’s axe as well as the back of his head to smother him in her ample bosom to the point of suffocation. After another swift blow from the axe freed her feet, Elspeth kissed her fingers and then patted the slain guard on the cheek. Elspeth allowed the body to fall to floor as she rose to her feet just in time for a whole slew of armed guards to descend into the galley.

Thank you kindly. Elspeth stated sweetly as she took the axe from guard still writhing in agony from the blow from Elspeth’s cheek. Now if you behave yourself I am sure no doubt you will still be able to contribute to society through any means that doesn’t involve siring.

You shall go no further, crimson haired wench! Shouted the guard with the most outrageous hat which clearly indicated a rank of authority or a general lack of fashion sense. You haven’t chance of escape! Beyond the hull of this ship is nothing but miles of unforgiving ocean and the unpleasantly large sea predators therein!

Okay then, how about I just kill you all and take the ship? Elspeth asked forever being practical when it came to wanton bloodshed leading to acts of piracy as well as maybe slightly indulging in any fantasy that involved a legion of well-disciplined half-naked burly men with muscles honed by hard labour.

Standing before the mass of armed guards with two axes in her hands and ready to spring into battle, Elspeth suddenly felt a twinge in her lower back. Cursing her lack of forethought of not stretching properly after so long in captivity before engaging in rigorous combat, Elspeth was forced to concede that without proper support, the prospect of her throwing her back out whilst slaughtering her way to freedom was going to be a very likely outcome. With the guards now closing in with the clear intent of doing bodily harm having reacted badly to the threat of death, Elspeth was forced to enact a gambit most suggestive.

Old man do you still draw breath or is your fourth death the one that proves to be the more fatal? Elspeth asked her supposedly dead companion, not taking her eyes off the encroaching guards for a second.

From his dead from fatal heart attack crumpled in a heap position, the withered old man suddenly checked his pulse and discovered that he was indeed still alive.

I still yet live again! The old man cheered as a few carefully placed axe strikes from Elspeth set him free. Any bid ye make for freedom shall have me support!

Then I ask you, purely in the interest of securing our freedom, to place your hands upon my breasts and cup them most securely while I hack these slaver pirates to death!

With an overtly nervous gulp the feeble shell of an elderly zombie man hopped onto Elspeth’s back and applied his hands as requested. With her mammalian protuberances now safely secured under bony fingers, Elspeth spun the axes in her hands and unleashed a torrent of rage that saw her former captors vanish in the usual wild tempest of blood and severed limbs.

With a heart so feisty how did the capture ye in the first place? The old man asked as he hung on for dear life.

With a fervent blood curdling growl which roughly translated to ‘can’t talk dismembering now’, Elspeth made her way on deck where the howling gale of a storm pelted down upon her but did little cool her ire but served to wash the blood the from her much used axes just so the crashes of lightning could highlight their gleaming razor sharp edges. Not privy to exactly what had transpired below deck in regards to just how many of their numbered had been minced to a fine puree, the remaining slavers, to their folly, where more than eager to engage Elspeth in a bid to subdue her before she reached the ship’s wheel. Tales of the fierceness and relentless fury of the ginger she devil they faced would have spread to every port across the globe had Elspeth been so inclined to let someone survive long enough to recount it and not be so traumatized that it would just be dismissed as crazy survivor talk.

Perhaps there is some truth having a woman on board is indeed monumentally bad luck! Elspeth laughed manically as she literally disarmed the captain last, having assumed the man with the most elaborate hat was the man in charge.

Taking hold of both axes in one hand, Elspeth liberated the captain’s stylish headgear to accessorize her outfit and then stood before the mighty wheel of her now commandeered ship.

So do you know how to steer a boat in a storm or otherwise? The old man asked with a great toothless grin ever hopeful that he had not just invoked disaster.

No. Elspeth replied also with a great smile across her face as she slowly regained her senses.

Do ye think maybe ye should have left on or two of the more knowledgeable sea dogs alive?

In hindsight? Probably. Or perhaps I may have been running with the assumption that your chosen attire did somehow denote some sort of nautical themed employment.

Shrugging as best as his bony little shoulders could while still allowing his emaciated fingers to maintain their grip, the withered old corpse of a pirate was seemingly very non-committal about the details of his seas faring prowess. Even the mere corner of the eye he could see as Elspeth turned her head was enough instil him with fear as the cold gaze of annoyance was limited by the turn of Elspeth’s neck.

Remaining useful in your support role may very well be the key to your survival. Elspeth whispered in a most threatening breathy voice. Your current position would be the envy of many, who are no doubt far cuter than you.

Elspeth hung her axes off her would be skirt, with the newly acquired weapons covering more of her than her aforementioned clothing, and took hold of the ship’s wheel with both hands and fought against the forces of the storm to maintain control of the ship. The strain of maintaining their present course served merely to show off Elspeth’s well-toned muscles whilst still maintaining her feminine frame as she embraced the eternal struggle of being a strong woman whilst being forced to conform to societal demands marketable beauty.

May I ask ye a question or offer ye mayhaps a bit of advice? The old man asked as his legs flapped and dangled helplessly in the wind.

I suppose as no doubt all the great women in history have had deep philosophical conversations with their undergarments, but since you have insisted on keeping your hands on my breasts do you think now might be a prudent time to at least introduce yourself.

I be Captain Theodore Deadweight, former scourge of the unspeakable lagoon and all its horrific surrounding territories.

Elspeth was curious to enquire about said lagoon but couldn’t quite find the words to do so before Theodore decided to chime in again with some more advice.

Now ye appear to be steering the boat in the same direction yer former captors be sailing, would that not take ye straight into their clutches again? Theodore asked with a slight chirp in his voice in an attempt to remain upbeat and perhaps avoid another situation that required a repeat of Elspeth’s rather unique people skills.

"Again in hindsight that may very well prove to be prudent advice, but if I don’t descend upon their homeland then I would not be able to lay siege, slaughter them to the brink of