Articulate: Our Words Shape Our World

By Helena Paschal

Articulate is a book about resilience.

 

It explores a young Black woman's journey through poverty, abuse, and racism to pursue higher education. The author takes the reader on a soul-bearing journey of healing as she uncovers the struggles Black women face but are too afraid to share. Domestic violence, grief, regrets, fornication, and abandonment. She exposes religious imperfections and failures in relationships. Through her story, she extends courage and compassion as she walks readers through vulnerable topics young Black women face daily.

 

WHO WILL BENEFIT MOST FROM THIS BOOK?

Articulate is intended to inspire women and college students. It is designed to foster empathy with the reader through collective experiences. The book reveals Helena Paschal's path of blindly navigating through higher education. She shares valuable insight to help students realistically graduate college.

 

BOOK HIGHLIGHTS:

• Overcoming childhood trauma and grief.

• Pros and cons for women attending church.

• Defining and shaping self-identity.

• Obstacles for incoming college freshmen.

• Going Greek! Pledging into a sorority.

• Postgraduate hurdles.

• Having a social life and dating expectations.

 

Helena is an influential voice for professional development. She is the CEO and Founder of Correlations Professional Training & Development, a company dedicated to teaching strategic event planning skills and business development to emerging entrepreneurs.  Shehas a Master's Degree in Organization Development and a Bachelor's Degree in Communication with a specialization in Public Relations. She has 15 years of experience, features in Forbes, NBC, and Hostess with the Mostess.  She is a highly sought-after public speaker, trainer, and facilitator.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Helena Paschal
• Release date: Nov 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393543954

Book preview

Articulate

Our Words Shape Our World

Copyright 2020

Published by Helena M. Paschal

––––––––

License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.  This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people.  If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.  If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy.  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Copyright  2020

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without the prior permission of the author.

Limit of Liability/ Disclaimer of Warranty:  The author makes no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work and specifically disclaim the fact that an individual or organization referred to in this work does not mean endorsement of this work or vice versa.  Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books.

To the memory of my grandparents,

Odell and Helen Paschal.

Table of Contents

Preface

PART ONE : Elementary

Articulate

Domestic Violence

Upbringing

Gifted

Shame

Beautiful

PART TWO : Growing Up In Church

Baptist

Praise & Worship

Purpose

Violated

Prayer

PART THREE : Junior High & High School

Popular

Sex Experiment

Period

Betrayal

First Love

Punishment

Self-Identity

Cancer

Grief

PART FOUR : College

College

Pledging

Sorority Life

Graduation

Inexperienced

Repulsed

PART Five : Grad School

Disadvantage

Wicked

Single Life

Resilient

Preface

Preface: noun, pre·face | \ prefəs

Definition of preface:

An introduction to a book, typically stating its subject, scope or aims.

I grew up in a family where silence sat at the dining table.  My mother pursued career opportunities all her life, none of which defined her, most of which kept her detached from our family.  Her ambition and abusive marriage pushed my grandparents to take me under their care.

On Sundays after church, my grandfather sat at the head of the table.  He would share stories that were interesting and often amusing.  It was a level of intimacy and distance.  As a child, I could be seen but not heard.  In our home, children were not allowed to join conversations with adults.  I listened attentively, clinging to every word he said.  Afterward, pretending to have a tea party, I would line up my baby dolls to reenact his stories with the understanding that I could speak at my table.

This book is about my childhood and finding my voice.  I was the silence sitting at the table.  By sharing my story, I am giving you a chair to sit at any table with the confidence of knowing that you have a voice.  I am a first-generation college graduate, but I will not be the last.  I want to reject that we are not victims of our past.  We are not victims of our environment.  We can make our future whatever we want it to be.  As an adult, I have found power in the words that I think and speak.  The ultimate power is using your words to create the change you want to see in your life.

I chose the title, Articulate, because I encountered numerous teachers who ridiculed how I spoke throughout my education.  The word articulate has bothered me all my life.

My contempt for the word articulate started in the third grade.  My teacher told my mother that I belonged in Special Education for not pronouncing my words correctly.

As I worked on my phonics, my teacher started calling me articulate.  At first, I took it as a compliment until I realized she never called the White students articulate.  I was one of two Black students in her class that she gave this rare remark.  I internalized the word articulate as meaning that I was starting to talk White enough.  As a Black girl, it is not a compliment to talk White.

The message of the word articulate when it is said to Blacks is, we are expected to be less competent.  When people are surprised that I sound articulate, I feel like they do not expect to see me sitting at their table.

My voice was not heard at home and it was diminished at school.  Black women are supposed to be strong but where does this strength come from when we are conditioned to be silent?  As a child, I sat uncomfortably at the table in silence.

I grew up in a place of marginal importance, influence, and power.  There was no representation of Black intellectuals, who eagerly pursued higher education.  There was an overrepresentation of ministers, who had a calling on their life to preach and lead lost souls to heaven, most of whom had never graduated seminary or taken a formal course on divinity or theology.  My grandparents raised me with the importance of attending church and going to school.

At an early age, I decided to create a life opposite of my mother, but I ended up exactly where she did.  I became a single mother at thirty years old after being on track to living an ideal life.  I graduated high school with honors, earned both a bachelor’s and master’s degree, had a good-paying Corporate job with benefits, became the CEO of my own business, and was engaged to a man that adored me.

Turns out, getting a college degree does not lead you to a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  Having a Corporate job feels like wearing golden handcuffs.  Being my own boss feels like a never-ending roller coaster of feast or famine.  The man of my dreams was a wolf in sheep’s clothing that cheated on me recklessly and abandoned me when I was only five months pregnant with our daughter.

Time has a way of healing our past and I have found closure from being abandoned by my father and my daughter’s dad.  I have developed patience and a flexible perspective to raise my daughter without rigid expectations.  I learned to seek validation within myself instead of others; it is a great sense of freedom to trust your inner voice.

I realize you may not know me.  Do not worry; this book will not bore you with my childhood trauma or trust issues because I have been thinking about you while writing this book.  I know it is a memoir, and I know I am not famous, so why did I write it?  As most ambitious adults, I want to leave my footprints in this world.  I do not know what I ultimately hope to achieve with this memoir; I only know that I feel a moral obligation to share my story out of respect to the legacy of my grandparents.

Some people from my hometown consider me to be fortunate for being a first-generation college graduate.  Although I have not done anything to claim a sense of fame, I hope to give meaning to going to college.

I am aware of my writing limitations.  I am more of a speaker than a writer.  I stop after each sentence, and I read it and reread it, hoping that I will clearly convey my intentions, but most of my words on paper seem lifeless.  I can only hope that I have given light to the dark spaces of my life.

It was hard to put myself back into my childhood memories because I have tried to avoid them.  I wanted to be brave enough to share a delicate side of me.  I have never shared my life with this level of openness, but I believe it will engage your senses and trigger memories for you.  I believe this book is more than a story.  It is an experience.

I want this book to feel like having a deep conversation with a good friend.  As you navigate through the pages, we will experience an open and transparent dialogue.  When I read the pages, I laugh, cry, and shake my head over the stupid things I did growing up.  My journey is filled with shattered expectations.  I desire to deconstruct some myths that you may have been raised to believe, offering you a sense of renewed hope and inspiration.

I have a southern heart, and I thrive on welcoming friends with a cold drink, a hot meal, and a warm conversation. Please sit back, relax, and read the pages of my story without judgment.  I am not looking for accolades or criticism. I am merely looking to have a conversation with you.

PART ONE

Elementary

Articulate

Articulate: adjective, ar·tic·u·late | \ är-ˈti-kyə-lət

Definition of articulate:

Expressing oneself readily, clearly, and effectively.

When I was in the third grade, my teacher told my mother that I needed to be placed in Special Education.  She said the way I pronounced the letter s sounded like the letter z.

She offered additional concerns when I said, aunt, it sounded like ant, and when I said caramel, I only used two syllables (car-muhl).  My mother refused and told my teacher my words sounded fine for an 8-year-old.  My mother then told me not to worry about not sounding White enough.  

The frustration of my mother with my teacher forced me to speak slowly and clearly.  Later that year, I remember raising my hand to answer a question.  My teacher responded, Correct answer, Helena. You are becoming very articulate.  

I rushed home to look up the meaning of the word articulate.  There were only a few books in our home, but there was always a dictionary somewhere to be found.  

The word articulate is defined as; expressing oneself readily, clearly, and effectively.  I smiled.  It felt good to be articulate. 

The next day, I went back to school feeling proud until I noticed my teacher never told the White students that they sounded articulate.  She only made this rare comment to another Black girl in my class and me.

When my teacher would praise me with the word articulate, it no longer made me feel good. It felt like an insult disguised as a compliment.  I internalized the word articulate as meaning that I was starting to talk White enough.

Initially, I loved going to school because they played music during lunch and we had a garden in our room.  Unfortunately, my teacher was downright mean to me.  I started telling my mother that I was too sick to go to school, and sometimes she let

Reviews for Articulate

[Anwar Hussain · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

THE BEST ARTICULATOR.. MY FAV MOTIVATION SPEAKER.... LOVE FROM INDIA