Rise and Fall of My Beloved

By Utanu Maa

Rise and Fall of My Beloved is a collection of poetry and prose about resilience—about the experience of stigma and rejection, disease and suffering, love and care, loss and grief—and also a testimony of gratitude, forgiveness and togetherness. Each of its three parts is a journey through life's struggles, pain and loss, all of which require an inner force to overcome, build, rebuild, succeed and heal: resilience. It expresses an undercurrent to an imposed destiny or stigma.
Based on the life experience of my late brother, Rise and Fall of My Beloved is a tribute to mankind's resilience to overcome adversities. The book takes readers from his vulnerable childhood as a neglected orphan set to die, through a childhood in which he was bullied, to his rise as an accomplished engineer, and sadly to his fall as a dying patient of HIV/AIDS. Each poem depicts the essence of unconditional love and care, the dignity of dying of AIDS, forgiveness, and family bond. This book is a manifesto of my brother's exceptional resilience, the best memory of him that will live forever. It is an invitation, an inspiration, a reflection that, when mankind encounters struggles, disease, pain, death, loss, grief, we have to grieve and heal, and rebuild.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Oct 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9780228836513

Utanu Maa

I am Utanu MAA. I live in Toronto and work as a public servant within the Ontario Court of Justice. Originally from the Democratic Republic of Congo in Africa, where I studied French Literature and Law before migrating to Canada in 1991, and thereafter studied Fashion Marketing, Paralegal and Law (1year) programs. In 2004, I was a recipient of a prize for the Poetry contest organized by Canada Heritage during the celebration of the Francophonie. "Couleur d'une langue" (The Color of a language), my unpublished poem about the diversity and different accents that give rhythm and power to a language to become an umbrella of one identity."Rise and Fall of My Beloved" is also my own journey into unconditional love and care, and the resilience to deal with pain, loss, grief, to grieve, heal and continue with life after my brother's death.

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 by Utanu Maa

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-0-2288-3650-6 (Paperback)

978-0-2288-3651-3 (eBook)

"…He learned and practiced a crucial lesson of life struggle:

Resilience! Resilience in adversities! Resilience amid challenges…"

Dedication

To Zola, My Beloved Brother

Like a rainbow in the sky,

You started life with hesitation.

But you rose and unfolded with amazement,

Then you disappeared with grieving left behind.

Yet you smiled at me as I watched the rainbow

Beautifully spread in the sky just after your burial.

I too smiled back at you. I understood you were at peace.

You were a rainbow, very much loved, spectacularly.

Once Beloved, forever Unforgettable.

Rest in peace, Zola.

Your Yaya (big sister)

Acknowledgements

To you Mondy Ewara, many thanks for reading the manuscript and encouraging me.

Also, many thanks to my editor Jen for your valuable assistance and support, and comment saying:

You write with honesty, grace, forgiveness, and most especially love. In sharing your brother’s story, readers will grasp the immense power of resiliency. Congratulations on writing a powerful collection of poetry. Through your poetry, you are your brother’s witness. You honour him while exploring universal themes of love, struggle, gratitude, loss, and grief. Thank you for this opportunity to read your poems and edit your book. I have been touched many times by the way you express your experience, and I believe that your readers will also be moved and comforted.

I wish to say special thanks to Mma for thoroughly reading the manuscript and taking time to write the powerful note here below:

"My dear Utanu,

Thank you for sharing your story with me. I hope I will have been of some help. Take what you want from it, and just ignore what you don’t consider necessary.

I would lie if I told you that this manuscript did not affect me emotionally. Most parts of it were extremely close to home for me. What happened to two little children just crushed me. But that was the first night. I hadn’t as yet read, The visit. You see, my family and I had left our home in Montreal for a year’s sabbatical in Florida. I wanted to spend 3 months at home with my brother Mo. We were inseparable. It would be our first time together for more than just a few days at a time since I left home 15 years earlier. Keith would prefer 4 weeks so I accepted that. He said, Go now before we get settled. Mo said, come now, I can’t wait. But I said, No, I want to wait till Xmas. We were going to spend the month in the village. We planned to have a Memorial Service for Mom. I missed Xmas in the vllage. Besides, the children would all be home from school, and I’d get to see them." Everyone gave in to my wish and we went ahead and bought a round trip ticket for December. It was July. Mo