Happy Mom At Home

By Patricia Turk

Attention Stay At Home Moms!
Tired and lacking motivation? Feeling resentment towards your spouse? Don't know how to "get it all done"? Patricia Turk offers up all of her tips and encouragement for being a happier mom at home through establishing goals and allowing yourself time to express yourself.

Happy Mom At Home is for any stay at home mom who is struggling to find their peace during this special time in their life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9781716016547

Book preview

Happy Mom At Home

Happy Mom At Home

By Patricia Turk

Introduction

My journey as a stay at home mom started in 2014 when my husband and I decided we would try out me staying home with the kids while he focused on work. I was unhappy driving 45 miles to work and being away from my kids while at my full time job. I was stressed out while trying to find balance between being reliable for my job and being there for my kids and their milestones. There were many days of leaving work early to pick up my babies from daycare when they were sick. My youngest was prone to ear infections so he had a fever fairly often, and a fever required pick up from daycare immediately. If my husband had to work late, I’d have to leave early and sit through traffic and pray I arrived to pick them up on time or else I’d face a late fee. I was the one in charge of picking the kids up each and every time, as my husband was working in an apprenticeship and brought home more money, it was easier for me to leave than it was for him without risking his job.

I began to hold resentment against my husband because I hated feeling like my job wasn’t as important as his and this led to many fights and stress in our relationship.  I’d literally drive an hour to work and then an hour or two later,  I’d get a text from the babysitter telling me to come pick up my son. It was so draining and I wasn’t very happy. I just felt lost, like I wasn’t able to fully commit to any one area in my life, I was one foot in and one foot out as a mom, as an employee, as a wife. it was emotionally and physically draining.

Needless to say, I hated my job and I hated paying for childcare, I hated that I was missing my kids’ firsts just to earn minimum wage, and I hated fighting with my husband over it all. I was just not very happy with life. My wedding was coming up and I was about to leave work to prepare to be wed and go off on our honeymoon. It was during our time off that my husband and I came to the conclusion that I wouldn’t be going back to work when we came home and that I’d be a stay at home mom, effective immediately upon return.

We worked out the numbers and agreed that my check was unpredictable based on commissions and most of the time it felt like I was just working to pay for daycare. We thought of all the money we would save on childcare and gas. We would no longer have the arguments over who’s going to pick the kids up from daycare today.  "Why do I always have to leave my job to pick the kids up? You don’t think my job is important??"

I was so excited that this opportunity to be with my boys and focus solely on raising my kids was presented to me. I had missed so much time with my children. I began school to become an esthetician when my first son was 4 months old and then moved into working full time. I had my second son and only took 8 weeks off before returning to my job. I felt like I had missed so much and now I had the chance to catch up and be there for them now, to know them fully.

My boys were 1 and 3 years old when I switched to stay at home mom. My first year as a stay at home mom was really difficult for me. I remember being bored and losing my sanity. Trying to find mom’s groups, playdates, and activities to keep my rambunctious 3 year old busy while lugging around my rather large 1 year old who I felt like I barely knew up until this point.

There was another stage of resentment in a whole different ballpark. Having to watch the kids full time without a break, cook, clean, and then have to handle my husband’s needs of laundry and bills and being his ear-even though he had the pleasure of getting out of the house and away from the kids.

I remember feeling extremely lonely in the beginning. My husband and I fought a lot. Well, I fought a lot with my husband. I still wasn’t very happy. I was not prepared for the amount of work that went into being a stay at home mom. In that first year I was just holding on for dear life and praying I wasn’t messing up my kids or my marriage.

By the second year, I had given birth to my third son.  I'm not sure what changed but there was a shift in my attitude. I think my fear of moving from two kids to three really made me rethink how I was currently running the ship because I was terrified and clueless as to how I would handle another kid!

I started exercising every morning and I joined a direct sales company and did my online  parties-I was happy to have something of my own even if I was just making  $100 a month. I started focusing on how I could get my shit together before a third child came into the picture because I was scared out of my mind that I wouldn’t be able to keep three whole humans alive. How would we afford another child? How would I go