Chris Versus the Succulent Pear

By Hillel Groovatti

Chris, a fifth-year senior at Arizona State University, gets more than he bargained for when his store-bought pear turns out to be a pear-shaped alien hellbent on destroying his hungover Sunday.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hillel Groovatti
• Release date: Sep 11, 2020

Hillel Groovatti

A dedicated international traveler and adult beverage aficionado, Groovatti is currently living the expat dream in China.

Book preview

Chris Versus the Succulent Pear

By

Hillel Groovatti

SELF PUBLISHED

Edition

First Edition, September 2020.

Work of Fiction

This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright

Chris Versus the Succulent Pear. Copyright 2020 by Hillel Groovatti. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the author.

Credits

Book Illustrations: Cyrus Hunter

Cover Design: Canva

Editors: Emma Kaufmann and S. Carmody

Chris Versus the Succlent Pear

Chris, a fifth-year senior at Arizona State University, is passed out on his bed; his body splayed across his mattress like roadkill spread out across a barren expanse of pavement. The hot Arizona sun cuts through the holes in Chris’s blinds, piercing his exposed skin, and triggering his sweat glands to form pools of liquid on his slumbering body.

Slowly spiraling out of a deep dream, he abruptly comes to and is initially aware of a slight ache in his head. Opening his eyelids is a struggle. With each nanometer of eyelid lifted, the pain in his noggin intensifies ten-fold.

Eeeeyeowharghugh! he squeals in agony.

Fighting to throw the bed covers off his sticky body and sit up, he teeters on the edge of his bed, looks at the clock on his desk, and rolls his eyes.

2:00pm! he says in frustration. Shit, I wanted to get up early today.

Suddenly becoming dizzy and disoriented, he rests his arms on his knees and focuses on his breathing. When the cobwebs in his mind have cleared, he stands up, only to fall back on his bed.

Jerking himself up and trying to steady his swaying body, he steps over a pile of clothes and nearly slips on a notebook jutting out of his open backpack. Carefully making his way down the narrow hallway of the two-bedroom apartment, he slides his hands along the walls for support. Dick fully erect and sticking out of his boxers, it guides him to the toilet like a divining rod directing a farmer to water.

Ahhhhh, he groans, after flicking on the lights.

Shading his eyes with one hand and steadying himself against the wall with the other,