The Acts of King Bubu Son of Hari

By Gregory Ojukwu

The Acts of King Bubu, son of Hari, began as a micro-blog in one of Nigeria’s popular micro-blogging community. It was an attempt to parody events in Nigeria.
The initial posts received good reviews, as many welcomed the refreshing contents and the lyrical language provided by King James English. Attempt was made to promote the satire through the website. However, lack of time meant that updates could not come regularly. Then the thought of making a book out of the contents came to mind.
A parody is an interesting way to look at issues. A satire replete with parody, and set a thousand years ago, makes for a compelling read. I hope you will enjoy this book, as I have made a great effort to situate current events in the medieval era, making light of very topical issues. The satire will resonate well with several third world countries with bad politics and typical clueless ruler who surround themselves with sycophants.
This is the story of a mythical King Bubu, son of Hari, ruler of Nigira and his attempt to fix what was wrong with Nigira. How does he navigate the many obstacles of terror, sabotage, and distrust? How about the political class and sycophants longing for only what they could get? What other internal and external factors militate against him? Will he succeed or is he part of the problem?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gregory Ojukwu
• Release date: Jun 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463728994

Book preview

Copyright 2020 Gregory Ojukwu

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior written permission of the author.

Disclaimer

This book is a parody of events. A work of satire.

The opinions expressed are those of the characters and should not be confused with the author’s.

Acknowledgment

Gracious thanks to my editor, Cynthia Ajibade for her meticulous work and patience. Special thanks also to The Nigerian community on Social Media; Aka, ‘The People" whose comments were generously referenced in this work

Dedication

To my Wife and Children

Table of Contet

CopyrightThe Acts of King Bubu Son of Hari

Disclaimer

Dedication

Preface

Chapter 1: The Tribulations of King Jonah

Chapter 2: The Rise of Bubu, son of Hari

Chapter 3: King Jonah and the Ides of March

Chapter 4: The Acts of King Bubu, son of Hari

Chapter 5: By the Hundred

Chapter 6: House Alliance of Parties

Chapter 7: Axis of Grieve

Chapter 8: Maxii the Bright, son of Biama

Chapter 9: King Bubu and the Forty Thieves

Chapter 10: The Scroll of Change

Chapter 11: Shortage of Oil

Chapter 12: The Scrolls of Bestowment

Chapter 13: Give up Thy Land

Chapter 14: Let there Be Light

Chapter 15: The Chinese Connection

Chapter 16: Grand Patron

Chapter 17: King Bubu and the Creeks Avengers

Chapter 18: Purveyors of Iniquities

Chapter 19: Of Libyan Herdsmen and Masquerades Jobs

Chapter 20: Oil Subsidy Removal

Chapter 21: Strikes and Protests

Chapter 22: ‘Kibok Girl’ to the Rescue

Chapter 23: Master of Darkness

Chapter 24: Creek Avengers wave a Wand, King Bubu makes a Plan

Chapter 25: King Bubu: A Coward in Chief?

Chapter 26: King Bubu and the Seal of Knowledge

Chapter 27: A Tale of Two Houses

Chapter 28: King of the North!

Chapter 29: The Rise of Stone

Chapter 30: Kingdom Animalia: The Book of Jungle

Chapter 31: The Book of Jungle 2

Chapter 32: Jungle Tales

Chapter 33: Enemies of Nigira

Chapter 34: King Bubu: Author of Confusion

Chapter 35: The Inhabitants of the Kitchen and the other Room

Chapter 36: Edge of Doom

Chapter 37: Noisemakers

Chapter 38: King Bubu: Art of War

Chapter 39: The Legend of Liar, son of Mujam

Chapter 40: King Bubu and Tifni, son of Nubu

Chapter 41: There Lies the King

Chapter 42: The Knight of a Thousand Lies

Chapter 43: Let My People Go

Chapter 44: A Dance with Serpents

Chapter 45: King Bubu the Merciful

Chapter 46: The Legend of Atif, son of Tifku

Chapter 47: The Rise of Atif, son of Tifku

Chapter 48: Resurrection of the Dead

Chapter 49: The Next Stage

About Author

Preface

The Acts of King Bubu, son of Hari, began as a microblog in one of Nigeria’s popular microblogging community. It was an attempt to parody events in Nigeria.

The initial posts received good reviews, as many welcomed the refreshing contents and the lyrical language provided by King James English. Attempt was made to promote the satire through the website. However, lack of time meant that updates could not come regularly. Then the thought of making a book out of the contents came to mind.

A parody is an interesting way to look at issues. A satire replete with parody, and set a thousand years ago, makes for a compelling read.

I hope you will enjoy this book, as I have made a great effort to situate current events in the medieval era, making light of very topical issues.

This is the story of a mythical King Bubu, son of Hari, ruler of Nigira and his attempt to fix what was wrong with Nigira. How does he navigate the many obstacles of terror, sabotage, and distrust? How about the political class and sycophants longing for only what they could get? What other internal and external factors militate against him? Will he succeed or is he part of the problem?

Come; explore the Acts of King Bubu, son of Hari.

Chapter 1: The Tribulations of King Jonah

Twilight of King Jonah’s Reign

In the fourth year of the reign of King Jonah the Able, son of Locki, prosperity was upon the land, and there were grains and tubers in abundance. Thereupon, King Jonah spoke to the people saying, ‘’Good people of Nigira, lo, I have rebuilt the rails and the road, and have given ye abundant bread. In my reign, ye have not queued endlessly for oil. I have reformed power and made our kingdom prosperous. Reward me, O great people with thy votes, let me lead ye to further greatness!’’ For it was the custom of the people to elect a new King or affirm old ones every four years.

She-cow and his Bands of Brigands

In those days, there arose from far North a barbarian horde which lay waste to the countryside, burning, looting, killing and taking as slaves: men, women and children. They were led by brutish commanders named after cows. And they set up their encampments in the arid land far east of north of Nigira. And they made edicts and dispatched them to the inhabitants saying, Books are forbidden, and scrolls which do not edify our gods are outlawed. Thou shall not worship any gods except our god. Woe upon him who is found foul of these commandments.

The people cried out and said, O good king, may you live long and defeat all thy enemies. Alas, She-cow and his bands of brigands made life difficult for us. They burned our houses, looted our barns, killed our men, and took as slaves: men, women and children, and also our lands. O great king, put to the sword this terror leader and his hordes.

Ihej, son of Rika

Wherefore King Jonah the Able, son of Locki dispatched his trusted commander, Ihej, son of Rika. Ihej, son of Rika, a man of valour; hard as a nail and sharp like a razor took a thousand men and fell upon She-cow and his band of brigands in the battle of Daga. She-cow fled with his men to the wilderness of Cambisha. But Ihej, son of Rika pursued them deep into the deadly forest (for he had vowed to crush them), and he put to the sword several of them, including She-cow who died of his wound.

Thereupon, Ihej, son of Rika retired, and returned to his home, a hero amongst his people.

Bubu, son of Hari

There arose a certain zealot, Bubu, son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger. Thus did he address King Jonah the Able, son of Locki, You are killing my people for a cause started by thy people. `O, wicked King, you rode thy people in the best chariots, gave them bags of gold, land and plough when they rose against the kingdom, but you put arrows and spears into the chests of mine for same deed. Amen, I say unto thee, I shall take thy crown and right all the wrongs you have done. For his anger was kindled against King Jonah.

And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus addressed the king, Atif, son of Tifku, Tifni, son of Nubu, Sar the Covetous, son of Raki, Ob the Navigator, son of Jeh (many of these men wined and dined with Jonah the Able, son of Locki, and several kings before him). The others were Amech the Swift, son of Rotim (for he is swift in running errands), and Roch the Sly, son of Cha.

And these men composed songs, and sang merrily, heralding the frail and aged Bubu, son of Hari as the one who was promised; the messiah who is to come! And they caused Liar, son of Mujam and Saware, son of Yele the bearers of falsehood to announce to the people of Nigira that King Jonah the Able, son of Locki was an evil spell upon the land; and many believed them.

Bring back our Girls

And it came to pass that there arose another terror leader, He-Cow (for the terror leaders are named after cows). He butchered male children as they learn in peace, and the females, he took in their numbers as slaves and wives. And he burnt their temples of learning and worship. Thus did he taunt King Jonah the Able, son of Locki, I have taken thy daughters. I shall sell them as slaves and marry them off to my warriors. Repent and follow my god and my way, or I shall destroy thee and those who follow thee! The people feared for what shall befall the girls, they cried unto King Jonah the Able, son of Locki, Bring back our girls! Bring back our girls!!

But King Jonah the Able, son of Locki would not harken to their calls nor hasten to rescue them for he did not believe the girls were taken by She-cow. But they continued to cry out to the King, saying, Bring back our girls! Bring back our girls!! Obia the quarrelsome, daughter of Geli led them in their cries. And Obia the quarrelsome, daughter of Geli and the women of the capital city cried day and night in the market square, the King’s square and King’s road and they would not relent.

Wherefore King Jonah dispatched Mini, son of Maah, another trusted general. And Mini, son of Maah descended upon He-Cow in the battle of Condunge, slaying him and many who followed him. But he could not bring back the girls. And Mini, son of Maah addressed the people saying, "Valiant people of Nigira, behold He-cow’s lifeless body as it lay amongst his terror band. Verily, verily, I say to you, same fate shall befall all who go by the name of cow, and ply terror as trade!’’

And there was great rejoicing among the people, for they saw the body of He-cow, who tormented them, among the dead!

And from across the big rivers, a voice cried from the wilderness saying, Let my people go!

Chapter 2: The Rise of Bubu, son of Hari

No weapons Fashioned for King Jonah

And there arose another terror leader from the ashes of Condunge, E-Cow they called him (for the terror leaders are named after cows). Thus did E-cow address King Jonah the Able, son of Locki! I am alive; I am She-cow, the one who was, the one who shall come! I shall annihilate thee, thy kingdom and thy people. Thereupon King Jonah the Able, son of Locki entreated his allies in the West, saying, Hearken, good people of the West, E-cow and his band of brigands seek to bring ruins to my kingdom. I beseech ye to send me thy best chariots, swords, crossbows, shields for gold and silver coins. Thus did they answer, We shall not trade our chariots and shields for thy gold, lest thou continue to harm women and children with them.

And Emperor Omanman, son of Balak, ruler of the free world, and his friend, Davie, son of Camelon would not hearken to his supplications even as E-cow continued to torment the people. And they warned all who sought to help thus, Do not offer weapons to King Jonah the Able, son of Locki, lest he destroys his kingdom and people with them.

And they received King Jonah’s gold and silver coins, but will offer no weapons or shield. Whereupon E-cow the bandit continued to lay waste to the countryside, burning, looting, killing and taking as slaves, men, women and children. And E-cow erected more tents. Outside these tents, he hung his banners, bearing the name of his god and his message of death. And he destroyed several temples and shrines which do not honour his god.

The weak King and the Zealot

And the zealot, Bubu, the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, thus addressed the people of Nigira again saying, Lo, King Jonah the Able, son of Locki is weak and wretched, he cannot defend you against E-cow and his bandits. O good people of Nigira, hearken, and make me King over you instead of Jonah, and I shall defeat E-cow!

And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus