Tales from the Parent Hood

By Jenn Williams

They're baaaaack!

 

The two bitties are growing up, but they ornery as ever! This second installment continues telling the hilarious words and antics of these two entertaining children.

If you haven't checked out their first crazy adventure, be sure to look A Tale of Two Bitties!

 

Settle in for a laugh while you enjoy this charming read.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jennifer Williams
• Release date: Apr 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9781952422041

Jenn Williams

Jenn Williams is a writer which if you know anything about the trade means she spends most of her day doing whatever she can to avoid writing. She is a mother of 3 from central Illinois. She enjoys spending time with her children and granddaughter, writing, and entertaining friends and family with her comedic wit. Jenn is takes sarcasm to new extremes often using it to mask her craziness. She still believes there is no problem that can't be solved with chocolate or bacon. Jenn spends her time refereeing her two younger children and napping. Sleeping is her favorite leisure activity, and she will be a frontrunner when napping is finally added as an Olympic sport. She also enjoys cooking, animals, nature and spending time with her main squeeze, Netflix. That's "cooking (comma) animals" not "cooking animals." Although, both would be accurate.

Book preview

Tales

from

the

Parent

Hood

Copyright © 2020 by Jennifer Williams

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof

may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever

without the express written permission of the publisher

except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Printed in the United States of America

First Printing, 2020

ISBN: 9781952422041

Imprint: Independently published

Jennifer Williams

Chenoa, IL 61726

[e-mail]

Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1: Bitties on Food

Chapter 2: Bitties Take on Medicine

Chapter 3: Bitties on Life

Chapter 4: Bitties on Growing Up

Chapter 5: Bitties Being Bitties

Chapter 6: Sibling Love

Chapter 7: Lessons Learned

Chapter 8: Lucy Doll Chronicles

Chapter 9: Bitty Dictionary

Chapter 10: Miscellaneous

Chapter 11: A Day in the Life

About the Author

Preface:

Several years ago I began sharing the comical tales of my children on social media. With every shared antic, people started becoming fans of theirs and my stories about them. So many had encouraged me to write a book which is exactly what I did. A Tale of Two Bitties was published in May 2019. There was a lot of content left over, and with new comic gold material happening in my home every day, we decided to publish a sequel.

If this is your first introduction to the magical world of bitties, I hope we make you laugh. I hope we leave you with a smile on your face. I hope you can take a moment to appreciate how much they must drive me up a wall.

My children were all gifted with my sense of humor, but whether I view this as a blessing or a curse always depends on the day. I am ever thankful for the happy, lighthearted, fun mini-me’s I created. They strike laughter in the hearts of all who know them.

At the time I write this, Liz (Boo) is 24, Eric is 13, and Salem (Sally) is 11. My dear sweet granddaughter Ria is 3. They are everything to me. I know that is a sentiment that gets used more than picture filters on a smartphone, but they truly are. They are the reason I smile. They are the reason I have peace. They are also the reason I pull my hair out from stress. They are the reason I try to improve myself every single day.

I’m dedicating this book to my mom and dad who were always my biggest fans.

Chapter 1

Bitties on Food

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Today is National Men Make Dinner Day. Eric (9) is in for a surprise when he gets home.

November 5, 2015

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Sitting at the table having dinner with my family. Eric (10) and Sally (8) are excitedly talking on and on about their day taking turns telling stories. My brother Rick, Boo and I are getting whiplash whipping our heads from side to side to look at them as they are talking.

I think about how so many families don't do this. No dinner at the table. No talking to each other. Mine didn't when I was growing up which is why I wanted this with my children.

I realize my children will probably not understand the significance of the dinner table and all it represents. They will probably bring their plates to the living room and eat in relative silence while watching TV like my family did.

This saddens me.

January 12, 2017

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Sally (8) didn't like her supper of panini and pasta salad even though she's had it many times. I was preoccupied with Ria (1) for a minute, and Sally had lined the counter with lettuce, veggies, cottage cheese, shredded cheddar, and Catalina dressing to make herself a salad.

Me: No.

Sally: But mom!

Me: No.

Sally: I'm hungry!

Me: Then eat your supper.

Sally: You do realize you are starving me right now. Literally.

Me: *looks at her plate of untouched pasta salad and two bites off a panini* Ummm... Actually, that is the exact opposite of what I am doing.

May 1, 2017

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Sally (8) wanted me to wake her up when I woke up. I did. Then she got mad because I was already awake. Um...

Every year at Mother’s Day, I make sure there's plenty of cereal, frozen waffles, etc., so my children can easily treat me. Every year they ignore all of it.

This year's Mom's Day breakfast was a banana and sliced tomato with saltine crackers. Yum!

May 14, 2017

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Me: *Starting dinner.*

Sally (8): What's for dinner?

Me: Pork chops.

Sally: Smells really good.

Me: Thank-

Sally: -Better than your usual cooking.

Me: