The White Room

By Mindy Haig

Somewhere between the past and the future, between dreams and reality, is The White Room.

Anika Rossi appeared to have the perfect life. A gifted dancer heading for the bright future that The White Room had been quietly guiding her toward. She had always known exactly what she wanted: to live the fairy tale. She would dance the role of every princess. Tyne Bonham would be her handsome prince and together they would find happily every after.

Christopher Rossi had a secret. A vision of something terrible, seen before he was even born that haunted his reality and threatened everything he loved.

Tyne Bonham had a history that he was ashamed of and couldn't seem to overcome. The one person who could mend him was Anika, but the six-year age gap seemed too big to bridge.

When a stranger took an interest in Anika, an event from the past began to haunt them all. The future became inexplicable tangled with a devastating moment that couldn't be changed. The White Room stubbornly refused to show anything but empty whiteness and death seemed to be the ultimate conclusion.

Could Christopher's secret save them or would the dream of happily ever after be lost forever? Find out in The White Room.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mindy Haig
• Release date: Jun 8, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311082114

Mindy Haig

I am a graduate of Rutgers University in New Brunswick New Jersey. I was born and raised in New Jersey so I am very much a city slicker. I moved to Florida to marry my sweetheart after college and marveled at how little there was to do and how much one had to drive to do it! But due to a job change and an abrupt move, we settled in Austin, Texas where the mottos is 'Keep Austin Weird' and I try my best to uphold it! I am the mother of 2 great kids and though writing has always been a pursuit I was interested in, being a Mommy got in the way for quite a few years. I decided I would give it a fair shake in 2009 and I haven't been able to quit since. I have 4 completed novels and I have 4 additional started novels plus 2 sequels all in various stages of gestation. I have a hard time stopping my ideas and when a seemingly great idea hits me - typically just as I am attempting to fall asleep - I am compelled to start an outline. My 2 great talents are: 1. My remarkable ablilty to remember names - which has served me well. 2. My ability to remember lyrics from every song I ever heard in the 70's and 80's - which has not helped me in the slightest. I have a quirky sense of humor and sometimes TV commercials crack me up. I like the notion of things being 'meant to be' or somehow touched by the unexplainable. I also like the effect music has on one's state of mind and the memories a song can recall.

Book preview

Breakwater Harbor Books

Presents:

THE WHITE ROOM

By

Mindy Haig

Copyright © 2014 by Mindy Haig

Smashwords Edition

Cover Art by Delaney and Mindy Haig

All Rights Reserved

License Notes:

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or redistributed without permission of the author. Unauthorized distribution is a violation of copyright and subject to penalties under the applicable Piracy Laws regarding intellectual property. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Breakwater Harbor Books, Inc.

Scott J. Toney and Cara Goldthorpe, Co-Founders

www.breakwaterharborbooks.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1. ANIKA – 9 YEARS OLD:

2. CHRISTOPHER – 4 YEARS OLD:

3. ANIKA – 10 YEARS OLD:

4. CHRISTOPHER – 5 YEARS OLD:

5. TYNE – 16 YEARS OLD:

6. CHRISTOPHER – 6 YEARS OLD:

7. ANIKA – 12 YEARS OLD:

8. TYNE – 18 YEARS OLD:

9. ANIKA – 13 YEARS OLD:

10. CHRISTOPHER – 8 YEARS OLD:

11. ANIKA – 13 YEARS OLD:

12. CHRISTOPHER - 8 YEARS OLD:

13. TYNE - 19 YEARS OLD:

14. CHRISTOPHER - 9 YEARS OLD:

15. ANIKA - 14 YEARS OLD:

16. CHRISTOPHER - 9 YEARS OLD:

17. ANIKA - 14 YEARS OLD:

18. CHRISTOPHER - 10 YEARS OLD:

19. ANIKA - 14 YEARS OLD:

20. TYNE - 20 YEARS OLD:

21. ANIKA - 15 YEARS OLD:

22. ANIKA - 15 YEARS OLD:

23. CHRISTOPHER - 11 YEARS OLD:

24. ANIKA - 16 YEARS OLD:

25. CHRISTOPHER - 11 YEARS OLD:

26. ANIKA - 16 YEARS OLD:

27. TYNE - 22 YEARS OLD:

28. ANIKA - 16 YEARS OLD:

29. TYNE - 22 YEARS OLD:

30. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

31. CHRISTOPHER - 12 YEARS OLD:

32. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

33. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

34. TYNE - 23 YEARS OLD:

35. CHRISTOPHER - 12 YEARS OLD:

36. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

37. CHRISTOPHER - 12 YEARS OLD:

38. TYNE - 23 YEARS OLD:

39. CHRISTOPHER - 12 YEARS OLD:

40. TYNE - 23 YEARS OLD:

41. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

42. TYNE - 23 YEARS OLD:

43. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

44. CHRISTOPHER - 13 YEARS OLD:

45. TYNE - 23 YEARS OLD:

46. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

47. CHRISTOPHER - 12 YEARS OLD:

48. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

49. CHRISTOPHER - 12 YEARS OLD:

50. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

51. TYNE - 23 YEARS OLD:

52. ANIKA - 17 YEARS OLD:

53. ANIKA - 18 YEARS OLD:

54. CHRISTOPHER - 13 YEARS OLD:

55. TYNE - 23 YEARS OLD:

56. ANIKA - 18 YEARS OLD:

57. TYNE - 23 YEARS OLD:

58. ANIKA - 18 YEARS OLD:

59. CHRISTOPHER - 13 YEARS OLD:

60. ANIKA - 18 YEARS OLD:

61. CHRISTOPHER - 13 YEARS OLD:

62. ANIKA - 18 YEARS OLD:

63. CHRISTOPHER – 13 YEARS OLD:

64. ANIKA – 18 YEARS OLD:

65. CHRISTOPHER – 13 YEARS OLD:

66. ANIKA – 18 YEARS OLD:

67. CHRISTOPHER – 13 YEARS OLD:

68. ANIKA - 18 YEARS OLD:

69. TYNE - 24 YEARS OLD:

70. ANIKA - 18 YEARS OLD:

71. CHRISTOPHER: IN THE WHITE ROOM:

72. ANIKA - 18 YEARS OLD:

73. AFTERWARD:

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1. ANIKA – 9 YEARS OLD:

I’m sure I probably said things to my parents that made them wonder, but the first time I remember saying something that made my mother go pale was just before Christmas when I was four years old. I can remember the day so vividly. It was snowing outside and that meant another whole day of having nothing to do. My mom didn’t like driving when it was snowing. The traffic on the narrow, slippery Chicago streets scared her.

My dad was getting ready for work and he came out of their bedroom wearing a tie so clearly he was having an important meeting. He always wore a tie when he had important meetings. He kissed my head as he went to the kitchen, then he made some cereal and sat down next to me.

My mom was making me a pancake.

I loved pancakes.

She set the plate in front of me and tried to straighten my ponytail as I ducked her hand and grabbed my warm breakfast. I didn’t put syrup or anything on it; I just picked it up and ate it like it was a giant cookie. Then I asked for another one. She made them really big and I usually only ate one, but I must have been really hungry because I specifically remember asking for the second one. Anyway, the pancake wasn’t all that important, but she brought a second one out to the table as I was finishing my milk and that was when I said it.

I can still see the scene in my head as I think about it. I was wearing the pajamas with the little clouds and rainbows on them and my ponytail was hanging sort of awkwardly to the side. I looked at the big pancake and I blurted out, Mommy, when is Christopher coming?

My mom was touching my dad’s hair and he was smiling at her.

I don’t know who Christopher is, Sweetie, is he one of your friends from day care? she asked me.

And then I dropped a bomb on her.

No, Mommy, I said very factually, Christopher is my brother.

They looked at each other and then they looked at me. But they didn’t say anything. I took a bite of my pancake while I waited for the answer, but they didn’t seem to have one so I had to give them some more information.

Christopher said he wouldn’t be able to come see me for a while because I would have to wait for him to be born. So how long do you think it will be before he is born? I hope it’s going to be today. Will it be today? I don’t have anybody to play with today. I didn’t know much about the whole baby thing when I was four.

But they still just sort of froze there, looking at me then looking at each other and back at me.

I was getting very full. But I still wasn’t getting an answer.

Not today? I sighed.

Um, no, not today, Ani, my mom said. Can you tell me about Christopher?

Well, he looks like daddy and his hair is curly like daddy’s hair, but it’s dark like our hair and he has blue eyes, but they aren’t as blue as mine and daddy’s are, I started. Oh, and he likes oranges when he’s tall, but when he’s little like I am he likes to eat cookies and drink milk.

You see him when he is different ages? Daddy asked.

Uh huh. We play together and he tells me things too. Like he told me one day that I had to be careful on the steps because that little dog got out downstairs and if I was running then the dog would chase me and try to bite me.

Anika, where do you see Christopher? my mom asked.

I see him in The White Room, I told her.

That was when she went pale.

I think up until that moment she thought Christopher was just an imaginary friend. But when I told her about the White Room then she knew he was real. Granny told me that my mom used to go to The White Room too, so she knew how it worked.

My mom put her hand on her stomach and she looked at my dad. He nodded. I didn’t really understand how they could know things that the other was thinking without saying any words, but I was only four and I really just wanted an answer to my question.

Finally my dad said, Ani, it takes a pretty long time for a baby to be born, so he won’t be here until it is summer again.

Oh, I said disappointed. That is a long time. I didn’t know it would be that long. I guess that’s right. He said he wouldn’t see me at Uncle Levi’s wedding. I should have asked him about the kitten.

Kitten? my dad asked.

Yeah, we rescued the kitten after a dog bit it.

Who rescued the kitten? my mom asked.

Christopher did. Well he did that when he was bigger, I mean, bigger than I am. I said thinking about it. I forgot to ask him what its name was. Maybe it didn’t have a name. I’ll have to think of a good name. I said as I sat there disappointed that Christopher wasn’t coming and I finished my pancake.

That was the first time I remember specifically talking about it, but it wasn’t the only day that I talked about The White Room. A few months later I managed to give my mother another good shock.

I was still only four.

It was not intentional.

I remember that it was a spring day and it was warm outside. We walked to the grocery store, well I still rode in the stroller because it was easier to carry the bags back to the house that way, but I wasn’t happy about it. I was four and the stroller was for babies. My mom was more than six months pregnant, her tummy was like a basketball and my dad would tease her and say that was because she had a basketball player in there. I think he was really hoping that because he loved basketball. He loved football too but not as much.

Anyway we walked to the grocery store and we had to go past the entrance to the park where the workmen had just finished putting in a whole new bed of beautiful flowers. They were every single color and my mom and I oohed and aahed about how pretty they were. I twisted around in the stroller to look at them even once we were past them. They reminded me of something from The White Room and I leaned back in the stroller and thought about it the whole time my mom did her shopping.

You were awfully quiet in the store today, Anika, she said as she unbuckled me and lifted me out of the stroller. Are you feeling okay?

Yes. I was just thinking about all of those flowers, Mommy. They were really pretty, weren’t they?

Yes, very pretty, she smiled as we walked up the stairs. Which ones did you like the best?

I liked those sort of puffy blueish ones. They were all little flowers, but together they made one big flower. They were a pretty color too. I answered as I hoped up each step.

They are called Hyacinth.

Hiya Cint! I said waving to an imaginary flower.

My mom laughed. Are you hungry?

Staaarviiing! I sang out as we got to our door.

Okay. I’ll make some lunch as soon as I put the groceries away, she said and I skipped off to get my baby doll. The doll was a girl doll, but I didn’t have a boy doll so I just dressed it in blue and I pretended it was Christopher. I was sitting on the floor rocking him and humming when my mom came to tell me lunch was ready.

What was that you were humming, Sweetie?

I don’t remember the real name. Granny said you used to call it ‘Angel Eyes’ but that’s not it, it’s about a flower.

Edelweiss? my mom asked, and she sounded like she was going to cry.

Yeah, that’s the name! Christopher likes that song. I do to because I like the flowers. I told her. Is lunch ready now?

Yes. Ani, who is Granny? she asked me.

Mommy! I said with my hand on my hip. You know who Granny is, she’s the lady in The White Room. I laughed as I laid my baby gently on the blanket and went to the table for lunch. My mom cut the crusts off my sandwich and it had just the right amount of mayonnaise. She gave me some apple slices too. But when she came to the table she was rubbing her eyes like she was brushing away tears and that made me feel sad. Mommy, do you want to hear a story?

Okay.

I swallowed the bite of sandwich I was chewing and I started.

"Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince. And he was very nice and kind too. He was riding his horse home after a long trip. It was getting dark and he saw a huge hole ahead of him. He started to ride away from it but her heard someone crying so he stopped and got off his horse to see if he could help.

There was an old lady. She fell in the hole and she couldn’t get out because she was hurt. But the nice prince picked her up and put her on his horse and took her to her home, I started. He was very nice, don’t you think?" I asked my mom as I sipped my milk.

Yes. Very nice.

"Well, when they got to her house and he helped her feel better she said to him, ‘You are a Mighty Prince and you have a kind heart and I will reward you for helping me’. He said she didn’t need to reward him, he could see she was not a rich lady, but she asked him if he would like to have the most beautiful woman in the whole world for his wife. He said yes! She told him that the Flower Queen’s Daughter was the most beautiful woman in the whole world but if he wanted to marry her he would have to rescue her from the dragons.

He was very brave and he wasn’t scared of the dragons at all, but the lady gave him a little bell. She told him if he rang it one time the king of the eagles would come to him. If he rang it two times, the king of the foxes would come and if he rang it three times the king of the fishes would come and they would help him.

So he went to search for the Flower Queen’s Daughter. It took him more than four years to find the mountain where the dragons lived and when he climbed the mountain he came to a big castle made of gold with diamonds for windows. But when he went to the door seven dragons stopped him. ‘What do you want?’ they asked. And he told them he heard about the beautiful dragon mother and he came to serve her. So they took him to her and she was very scary. She had three heads and a terrible voice. But he knelt before her and said she was beautiful and he would like to serve her. That made her happy so she gave him a job. He had to take her white mare to the meadow and watch her for three days. The dragon told him if he didn’t bring the mare back safely she would eat him right up.

I think I would have been scared," I admitted and my mom nodded.

"So he took the mare to the meadow, but as soon as they reached the meadow the mare disappeared. Just like that! The Prince was very sad. He searched and searched but he couldn’t find her. Then he saw a bird in the sky and remembered the bell the old lady had given him. So he rang it and the King of the Eagles came and told him the mare was racing along the clouds. He told the prince that he would call all the eagles to bring the mare back to him.

When he brought the mare home, the dragon mother was happy so she gave him a shield of shiny copper and said he could go to the ball that night.

He did and he met the Flower Queen’s daughter. He fell in love with her right there and he promised he would rescue her.

The next day he took the mare to the meadow again. And she disappeared just like the first day. So the prince rang his bell two times and the King of the Foxes came. He told the prince the mare was hiding in the mountain and he would call all the foxes to bring the mare back to him.

When he brought the mare back that second time the mother dragon was so happy she gave him a silver sword and let him go to the ball again. He danced with the beautiful flower princess and she told him that if he could bring the mare back on the third day the mother dragon would give him anything he wished for. He said he would wish for her, but she said ‘NO! You must ask for the son of the mare and then we will be able to escape.’

So the third day he took the mare out again and she disappeared. The prince rang his bell three times and the King of the Fishes came and told him the mare was hiding in the river and he would tell all the fish to bring her back to the prince.

And they did! I told my mom as I finished my milk. I think it’s amazing that the fish could do that. I like those fish,"

She smiled.

"The mother dragon was so happy she gave the prince a cloak of gold. She was starting to love him very much because he spoke very kindly to her. She asked what he would like as a reward and he asked for the son of the mare like the Princess told him. That night after the ball they met in the meadow and they flew away among the clouds and escaped from the dragons.

The dragons were angry and they chased the prince all the way to the Flower Queens Castle. But the Queen made a wall of flowers appear and the dragons could never find them. And then the prince married the Flower Queens daughter and lived happily ever after."

I finished and took a big bite of my sandwich. "I think the Flower Queen looks just like you, but her hair is all beautiful flowers, not hair like we have. Did you like that story Mommy?

That was my favorite story when I was a little girl, Ani, she told me. Can you tell me about Granny?

What do you mean? Granny said she used to take care of you when you were little like me. She said you know her. She brought Christopher to meet me the first time too. He was little that time. He sucked his thumb because he was nervous. But I gave him a hug and I told him it was going to be okay and then we played with a big ball and he was happy. He sure likes to play ball.

What does Granny call you?

She calls me Anika. But she told me a secret. She said when I am grown and a handsome prince falls in love with me he will call me Anya. I laughed. But I am not going to marry a prince, Mommy, I am going to marry Tyne.

Tyne? You think so? she smiled.

Yes. He is the handsomest boy in the whole world. And he’s sort of like the prince in the story because he is very kind.

Did you see that happen in The White Room? she asked me.

See what?

Did you see yourself grown up and getting married to Tyne?

No. I didn’t see that. I don’t see stuff where I am bigger unless Christopher is there. Mostly I play with toys and listen to Granny tell me stories.

Ask her to tell you about the twelve dancing princesses. Mommy told me. Did Granny tell you what her favorite story is?

I nodded. Maria and the seven robbers.

And then we just stopped talking about it, or at least that’s all I remember.

But none of that mattered today. None of the memories mattered because today was the worst day of my life.

Today my heart was broken for the very first time.

I had ballet class.

I loved ballet. My dad knew a lot about ballet, way more than my mom knew because my Aunt Sophie danced for a long time and he went to all of her recitals. He knew all the terms and what they meant. He was very proud of me, he always encouraged me and he would bring flowers to all of my performances. I loved the flowers. He had to be the best dad in the whole world.

My practice was long because one night each week I did ballet and jazz back to back so my mom dropped me off for practice and took Christopher home. He was not a good audience during class. He was not quite five and sitting still was a definite problem so he was pretty distracting. Anyway, my mom took him home and when she came back to pick me up she said we needed to stop at Uncle Levi’s place for a few minutes so she could drop off some illustrations she’d done for him.

I loved going to Uncle Levi’s place because that meant seeing Tyne.

Only he wasn’t there.

Where’s Paul? I asked. As I stood in the hallway looking at the new painting Uncle had done.

He’s working late tonight, Princess.

He always called me ‘Princess’ and he called Christopher ‘Sport.’ Paul was Uncle Levi’s partner and he had a fascination for old money. Oh. I found an old penny. It’s from 1901. I thought he might want to see it.

I am sure he would like to see it. Uncle smiled. Valerie can I talk to you for a minute?

I knew that meant he wanted to have a private conversation, but Tyne wasn’t home and I was bored so I sort of stayed in the hallway and listened.

…know what my son told me last week? Uncle started with a laugh.

What? My mom asked.

He said, ‘Dad, I need to have a serious talk with you, okay?’ just like a man. So he sits down and he’s just anguished. I said just blurt it out, son, it’s fine. Uncle was telling her, still sort of giggling.

You probably shouldn’t be laughing about it, Levi, he was upset.

Well I wasn’t laughing then, I was worried. I was thinking maybe I embarrassed him in some way. Anyway, he looks at me and he says, ‘I like girls, Dad.’ And I could have thrown a party right there, Valerie. I swear. But he was still so awkward. So he just starts talking and he says he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to like girls because Apache and I were... Well, you know. Anyway he likes one girl in particular and he wanted to ask her out but he was afraid I was going to be upset or disappointed in him. But I just, God I love that kid. I threw my arms around him and said ‘Thank God!’ Can you believe that? Can you believe he would think I might be disappointed if he chose a different life?

Well, you two are very close, Levi. He emulates you. He adores you. I could see how he would be a little afraid to not be like you, it makes him different.

Valerie he is going to be such a good man.

I know, but he’s had such a good father, Levi.

And he’s had Tommy so he knows all about how to love a woman. Levi smiled. Maybe he knows a little too much about women.

I was standing there torn between being happy and bitterly jealous when the door opened and Tyne came in with his girlfriend. She was blonde and hanging on him. She was touching his dark hair and tears I did not want to cry filled my eyes as I turned and eagerly tried to blink them away. I sunk down into the sofa hoping he didn’t see me, but my mom and Uncle walked out of the other room just then and Tyne introduced them to Julie.

I was perfectly content to stay hidden in the sofa or maybe be swallowed whole by the floor when my mom said, ‘we’d better go, Ani. Daddy will have dinner waiting for us.’

Tyne looked at me and he smiled his pretty smile, but I just dropped my eyes from him and followed my mom out. I’d never been so sad in my life. I never felt ugly before in my life either. My mom was really beautiful and I looked just like her only I had blue eyes like my dad’s. I guess I always though since she was beautiful, I was beautiful too. I just never really thought about it or worried about it. Tyne used to call me ‘Pretty Girl’ when we would walk home from school together. He would wait for me by the playground entrance every day. He’d say, ‘Hey, Pretty Girl, how was your day?’ Sometimes he’d carry my backpack too. And we’d walk to his building where my mom would pick me up. But now he liked girls that had blonde hair and wore makeup. He was probably calling her Pretty Girl. And I was nothing to him.

I thought the worst thing that ever happened was when we moved out from upstairs and into our house. It felt like I was leaving half of my family behind. But this was worse.

I ate my dinner, showered and went right to bed. But I cried into my pillow for a long time until I realized it wasn’t my pillow anymore and I was crying in The White Room.

Granny was talking to someone that I couldn’t see and then when I sat up she came over and sat beside me.

Do you want to talk about it, Anika?

No. Yes. Tyne is in love with someone else. What am I going to do now? I said as my tears still ran down my cheeks.

Well, first of all, you are going to remember that right now, at the age you are, six years is a very long time. He is at an age where he is learning what it is like to be a man. He has to find his way in the world. And trust me, you want him to know what it is he wants.

But Granny…

Anika! He is fifteen! He is not going to marry this girl! He will probably be over her in a few weeks. There will be other girls. Some might even be serious girlfriends but he is still very young. The future is wide open.

Can you see his future? I asked.

No, I can’t see the future anymore.

Granny, can I see his future? I asked. My mom asked me once if I saw my future. Why would she ask unless she thought that was possible?

Because she used to be able to see the future. But sometimes knowing what will be is very difficult, Anika. You see things that are good and bad. When you need to see something, when there is something you need to do this place will show it to you. Do you understand?

I didn’t really, but I still nodded.

2. CHRISTOPHER – 4 YEARS OLD:

Ani came home from her ballet class really sad. She was sadder than I ever saw her before. I tried to ask her about it but she didn’t want to tell me. She ate her dinner, sort of, I mean mostly she just pushed the food around on her plate until enough of it looked like she made an effort to eat it. Then she asked to be excused and she went upstairs.

I sat outside the bathroom door when she was taking a shower and I could hear her crying inside. I thought maybe she did bad at ballet and maybe they gave the best part in the recital to someone else. But the recital was still a long time away so probably that wasn’t right. I thought maybe she got hurt and she didn’t want Mommy or Daddy to know.

She came out of the bathroom after a while. She had her pajamas on and her hair tied up and she was just going to sneak off to bed without talking to anyone, but I was still sitting there on the floor.

What’s wrong, Christopher? she asked squatting down next to me as I sat there sucking my thumb.

You were really sad when you came home, Ani and you didn’t even want to tell me about it. Did you get hurt? I asked her.

No. I didn’t get hurt. It’s nothing. Nothing I can do anything about. Ani said.

Can I do something about it? I asked her.

She smiled a little bit. No, I don’t think you can.

But maybe I can?

Ani looked at me for a long time. Christopher, do you remember Granny?

Grandma Joanne or Grandma Stacy? I asked.

No, not them, Granny. She’s the one that brought you to meet me in The White Room.

I wanted Ani to be happy, but I didn’t understand how The White Room worked for her. Ani, where is The White Room? I asked her.

It’s the place we go when we go to sleep, Christopher. The white place where we can do whatever we want. You used to go there with me. We used to play ball and Granny would tell us stories.

Oh. When I go to sleep, I have dreams sometimes, but I don’t remember them in the morning.

It’s not a dream, Christopher. Mom met Daddy in The White Room. She knew him from the time she was eight years old, but she didn’t meet him in real life until she was twenty-three. Granny could see people’s futures. She knew when she was going to meet her husband. She knew she was going to have two sons and she knew when Mom was going to be born. She brought you to meet me when I was four. It’s not a dream. What happens there is real. What you see there is real, at least, I think it it’s real.

What do you do there, Ani?

I talk to Granny. I dance. I guess I don’t do very much, I am alone there most of the time now.

You can do anything and you just dance and spend your time alone?

That’s dumb, isn’t it? Ani sighed. I guess I can’t use it like Mom or Granny could. I guess sometimes I just want to be alone. she said sadly.

Is today one of those times, Ani. I asked. She nodded and she stroked my hair. She was about to close herself in her room but I wanted to ask her one more thing. Ani, if you could do anything, what would you do?

She looked at me with her sad eyes. I would be older, Christopher. I would be six years older and then maybe I would have a chance. Good night, she finished and she closed the door.

I lay in my bed for a long time. I did not like it when Ani was sad. I wondered why she wanted to be older. I mean I wanted to be older too. Being little was hard. I wanted to be a good basketball player like Daddy. I wanted to be able to go to the park by myself sometimes. If I was bigger, people would listen to me when I wanted to tell them something. But maybe they would ask me things I couldn’t tell them.

I closed my eyes while I was still thinking about how sad my sister was. And I heard her talking.

Tyne’s in love with someone else. Ani said so sadly that I wanted to go hug her and tell it would be okay, just like she always did for me.

Tyne. I thought. No wonder she wanted to be six years older, that would make her the same age as Tyne. Ani must have been in love with Tyne.

But just knowing that wasn’t enough for me. I asked a question inside my head that I don’t even remember and a whole bunch of stories started showing just like a television show, right in front of my eyes. Ani was in some of them, but they happened so fast it made me dizzy and I felt sick. Really sick.

Then I threw up right in my bed.

I didn’t see enough of anything to know what would make Ani feel better.

I started to cry because I was just a little boy.

My mom came in and she saw the mess. Oh my goodness, Baby! she started as she felt my forehead. Are you okay? Is your tummy hurting? Let’s get you cleaned up, she said scooping my small self up off the bed. She hugged me and took me into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth again. She wasn’t even mad that I made a big mess in my bed.

But I felt bad. I couldn’t help Ani because I was a small useless boy. So I sat on the floor with my chin in my hand, sucking my thumb as my mom changed my sheets and took all the mess away. Then Ani came in and she knelt next to me. She wrapped her arms around me and stroked my hair.

It’s okay, Christopher. It’s okay, she said. And she smiled at me.

My sister was sadder than I ever saw her, but she was kneeling next to me making it all better.

3. ANIKA – 10 YEARS OLD:

I just couldn’t get the sequence down. It was more complex than any dance I’d ever done before. There were five of us in the piece, but it was my first solo so I was not going to get on that stage without being able to do it perfectly.

The Skaters Waltz was playing in my room almost constantly. My things were stacked in piles on top of piles to clear as much space as possible. And I worked and worked at it because dancing was my identity. Dancing made me special.

We lived just three houses away from a little park that had a swing set and jungle gym. It also had a basketball court and a sand volleyball court that most of the kids just used as a big sandbox.

Christopher came into my room and threw himself miserably onto my bed. It was a nice spring day but he was five years old and bored silly. We went to a private school called St. Columbanus that was not in our neighborhood, so even though we’d lived in our house for all of Christopher’s life, we didn’t have very many friends close by and the one house on our block that had children close to Christopher’s age had all girls. I