Parenting in a World of Diversity

By Marguerite Clancy

Parenting in a World of Diversity contains many ideas on ways to nurture and educate your child to be the best possible version of themselves. This book has many benefits including:

• How to maximise each child's development from the moment of conception.
• It's jam packed with stimulating ideas to promote early development.
• It has tried and proved techniques on how to recognise and cater for Learning Difficulties.
• It presents a variety of ways to manage behaviour.
• It presents ways to teach and manage the child with ADHD.
• It has guidelines as to whether your child's development fits within the norm and much much more.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Marguerite Clancy
• Release date: Apr 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9780648164364

Book preview

PARENTING

IN A

WORLD

OF

DIVERSITY

Teach children to tap into their natural intelligence

Marguerite Clancy

Parenting in a World of Diversity

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By Marguerite Clancy

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Published 2020

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Copyright © Marguerite Clancy

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Edited by Keidi Keating

Interior Design by Christi Koehl

Cartoons by Daniel Coy

Illustrations by Sean Batchelor

Photographs by Angela Driessen - Clancy

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ISBN: 978 0 648 1643 7-1

Copyright

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic or mechanical or through recording) without the written permission of the author.

DEDICATION

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To my son, Sean Batchelor and my daughter, Fionn Batchelor who have shown me how to celebrate life in a variety of ways and that there are many ways to learn. Dedicated to all you parents who are doing the best you can to nurture  your children.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

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There are so many people to whom I would like to say, Thank you, for your support, suggestions, and encouragement. An unending list comes to mind.

A special thanks to Joy Atkins who edited this book for me and encouraged me to get it ‘out there.’ It has taken a while, Joy but finally this second stage is completed. I would like to thank my son, Sean, and my daughter, Fionna for their encouragement and support, for being there to bounce ideas off, and for their constructive criticism and many suggestions.

I am grateful to the Business Women of Geelong Group for their input and suggestions. A special thanks to Phillipa Challis, Jane Blight, and Melinda Mahon for their constructive comments.

I also extend a special thanks to Beth Kelly, and Dianne Richards for their constructive and positive feedback. A special thanks to Jillian Kelleher also for her positive input.

We extend thanks to all the parents who took the time to share their experiences and were prepared to be interviewed. As you are aware, I’ve changed your names to protect your privacy.

Thanks to all those people who, as I journeyed through my career, contributed to my growth in knowledge and understanding.

Thanks also to those students whom I taught. Because of you I learnt so much about diversity; diversity of perception; diversity of learning needs; and diversity of strengths and weaknesses. You are the inspiration for my writing this book.

Thank you all!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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About Marguerite

Marguerite has been a teacher, a counselor, life coach, presenter, and also a parent. She has studied the Science of Parenting She has experienced firsthand many of the dilemmas parents face.

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She comments, ‘My passion now is through my writing to share with parents and guardians the knowledge I gained through my training and experience.’

What are some of the questions you ask yourself about parenting?

0  Am I doing what is best for my child?

0  Am I too strict?

0  Should I have more rules?

0  How do I help them develop to their full potential?

0  How can my children be so different?

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These questions and more are answered in this parenting book, Parenting in a World of Diversity. If at any time you have a question about the book do not hesitate to email me at: [e-mail]

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CONTENTS

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INTRODUCTION——————-

Mankind owes to the child the best it has to give.

~UNITED NATION’S DECLARATION OF THE RIGHTS OF THE CHILD

We often hear the words, Children are our future. If we accept that this is true then every effort needs to be made by parents and professionals to provide the best possible environment to nurture and empower children to become the best they can be.

My passion is to help shape a better future for all children, and my purpose in writing this book is to share with parents information on ways to enhance child development.

Throughout my professional life as a regular teacher, a resource teacher, counselor, life coach, a teacher adviser in special education and in an educational consultancy business, I’ve discovered and learnt many methods to assist children to achieve their full potential. I wished that I had all this information before I had my own children. By writing this book I wish to share with parents the knowledge I’ve gained.

Prevention and early intervention are the key elements of Parenting in a World of Diversity. As children’s brains are like sponges in their early years – 90 percent of their brain development occurs before their fifth birthday – most activities in the book relate to promoting early development.

The book covers four main areas:

0  Preparing for Parenthood

0  Promoting Early Development

0  Recognition and Management of Learning Difficulties, and

0  Strategies for Managing Behaviour with special emphasis on managing children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

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As the latest in brain research proves that children’s brains develop in accordance with the activities in which they are involved – for example, if children learn music, the music part of the brain develops – this book is jam-packed with ideas to maximize brain development while catering for individual learning styles.

More than anything we as parents want our children to grow up to be happy. This message needs to underlie what we say and do in our child rearing.

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CHAPTER ONE

WHY  PREPARE ?

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People often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.

~HAIM GINOTT

The Importance of Preparation

If we have a very important event coming up, for example, a wedding, an important birthday party or even an engagement, we start preparing well beforehand. We plan for days and in some cases, years in advance. We all know that the success of the occasion depends on how well we prepare. Having a baby is one of the most wonderful events in our lives. Preparing to become parents is just as important as preparing for any other exciting event in our lives. The first step involves reflecting on how we were parented as this can impact on our own parenting.

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Clues from the Past

The following outlines are examples of how the past influenced some parents.

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Over-Demanding

Anne tells of her experience: My mother was very demanding. She didn’t hit me but she shouted and yelled at me. When I was in my early twenties, I became involved with a man named, Peter. We soon married and shortly after we decided to have a baby. We had a baby girl. As she grew up I constantly found myself being over-demanding just as my mother had been. I wasn’t even aware of this until one of my friends pointed it out to me. As a result, I decided to do something about my past. I did some Sandplay therapy. This therapy involved using symbols from real life and placing them in a tray of sand. The facilitator, through referring to the symbols I had chosen, showed how my mother’s upbringing was influencing my life.

Critical

Sue relates: I kept thinking that I was doing the wrong thing for my daughter and asking friends if what I was doing was right. When I became aware that I was overdoing it, I was advised to reflect on my childhood for answers. Then I remembered that my mother was always expressing disapproval.

When I caught myself doing the same, I changed to being approving or encouraging. It took a while to change but gradually I became better and giving approval became more natural. My daughter has also become a much happier child as she basks in the praise and encouragement she now receives. Now I’m much more aware of the way I address her, as I know the negative effect it can have on her self-esteem. I'm also honest, and when she is naughty, I point this out to her, reminding her I love her but I do not love what she is doing.

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Unrealistic Expectations

Karen says: I was never happy with the marks my children earned and was constantly telling them that they should be getting better grades. When I reflected on my past, I found that I had not achieved very well as a child. I just wanted them to achieve better than I had.

When I became aware of what I was doing, I began to accept my children’s achievements and to praise them for their efforts rather than for their results. I also decided to do some healing of my past by having some Rebirthing sessions. Rebirthing is a simple breathing technique, which can transform body, mind, and spirit. Through breathwork negative beliefs and patterns are changed.

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Over-Protective

Amanda says: I found myself being very over-protective of my children and being constantly on edge if they went somewhere or stayed over at a friend’s place. To get some insight into this I asked my mother if anything frightening had happened to me as a child. She told me that when I was four years old, I had wandered off and got lost and as a result was very frightened. It gave me a clue as to why I was so overprotective. I found it difficult but gradually I learned to let go and trust that our children would be safe.

Too Lenient

Jessica says: I found that I gave the children too much freedom and didn’t set boundaries for their behaviour. This was as a result of having being brought up in a very strict family with many rules and frequent punishment. I went too far in the other direction for my children. I went to a workshop on parenting where I learned how to set boundaries and limits. Now my children are much happier as they know what is expected of them.

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Perfectionists

Some parents may be perfectionists and won’t try if they think they can’t do it correctly. This can be the result of not being allowed to take risks as children.

Francine shared that as a child, her mother was very demanding and insisted she did everything perfectly. Her mother used to say, ‘If it is worth doing, it is worth doing well.’ Francine found herself falling into the same pattern of expecting perfection in everything the children did.

Francine went on to relate how she dealt with it. I began to do some hypnotherapy as I became aware of how my expectations were having a detrimental effect on the children’s self-confidence and self–esteem. Hypnotherapy uses a system of deep meditation combined with positive affirmations with the goal of changing deep-seated negative thinking. (This is explained in more detail later in the chapter). This allowed me to change the way that I interacted with my children and be gentler on them and myself.

Physical Abuse

Parents who were subject to physical abuse can themselves be abusive towards their own children. However, it is good not to generalize, as despite coming from the most deprived backgrounds, some people can turn around and be the most amazing parents. Jack, whose parents were both alcoholics relates: I used to come home from school to find both my parents drunk and unable to look after the two of us children. I was only eight years old at the time. I quickly learned how to open tins and heat food for my five-year-old sister and myself. I promised myself that I would never be like my parents. I healed my past by attending sandplay therapy sessions. Now while I have my faults, I consider myself a good parent.

Healing the Past

The next question is, how can we heal our past to ensure that it does not influence our parenting in a negative way? There are a number of ways this can be done.

Let’s hear from some couples who attempted to do just that. Jessica shared: Peter and I had been married for four years and felt that financially we were ready to have children. However, we both had very difficult upbringings. We feared that our experience might influence our parenting in a negative way. We were lucky to