Secret Agent Disco Dancer: The Zombies Ate My Pizza: Secret Agent Disco Dancer
By Scott Gordon
()
About this ebook
When BARTHOLOMEW BUNDT receives a new house for Christmas, he's overjoyed. The timing couldn't be more perfect, thanks to a certain crazy frog and his explosive appetite for monster pizza. But when Bartholomew realizes that his new house is built near reactor four in the old Chernobyl nuclear power plant, his skin begins to crawl.
Of course, that's not the only thing crawling around there.
"Hello?" his voice echoes through the cruel Siberian night. "Eh... It's probably just the neighbors again." He scratches his behind and walks back inside. "You know, I really should have them over for dinner." He smirks and goes back to bed.
Certainly before they have him for dinner...
Approximately 14,000 words. Intended for children 13 and up.
Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages).
Scott Gordon
Scott Gordon is a successful children's book author, with over two hundred books to his credit. He also writes science fiction, fantasy and horror under the pen name S.E. Gordon.
Read more from Scott Gordon
Alphabet All-Stars Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAlphabet All-Stars: Be Safe This Halloween: Alphabet All-Stars Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Happy New Year Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAlphabet All-Stars: Colorful Cards: Alphabet All-Stars Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Penguin Way Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Secret Agent Disco Dancer
Related ebooks
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Was It The Tira Misu?: Secret Agent Disco Dancer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSecret Agent Disco Dancer: The Last Ding Dong on Earth: Secret Agent Disco Dancer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsVideos: Videos, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Brummagem Screwdriver Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSecret Agent Disco Dancer: Double Agent Orangegrove: Secret Agent Disco Dancer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove for the Cold-Blooded. Or: The Part-Time Evil Minion’s Guide to Accidentally Dating a Superhero. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Finnegan's Awake Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMr. Puffball: Escape from Castaway Island Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWe Could Be Heroes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Play Me Backwards Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Vampire Ghost: The Short Life and Many Deaths of Harry Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Voice of Rage and Ruin Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHot Dog and Bob and the Seriously Scary Attack of the Evil Alien Pizza Person: Adventure #1 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Price Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Tray Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSecret Agent Disco Dancer: Taco Tuesday: Secret Agent Disco Dancer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFamine, With Fries Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Red Cap Case File: Remixed Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRadio Free Steve Volume II (Be)Labor(ed) Daze 2015: Doggy Style Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe ABC Murders: A Hercule Poirot Mystery: The Official Authorized Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Crazy Pet Frog: The Nightmare Pizza Before Christmas: My Crazy Pet Frog Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLovebirds Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSomething Borrowed, Something Doomed Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Dark Side of Paradise Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDanger on the Island: Covert Ops, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSecret Agent Disco Dancer: Was It The Lobster Bisque?: Secret Agent Disco Dancer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSmith's Monthly #15: Smith's Monthly, #15 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow Ya Gettin’ On?: Snook Writes about Stuff Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTaming Chaos: Raining Chaos, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSmith's Monthly #33: Smith's Monthly, #33 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Children's Animals For You
Into the Wild: Warriors #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Dog Who Watched TV Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Coraline Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Crabby the Crab Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pete the Kitty and the Unicorn's Missing Colors Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Frog and Toad: A Little Book of Big Thoughts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bad Kitty Gets a Bath Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Baby Bear, Baby Bear, What Do You See? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Goodnight, Good Dog Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: The Classic Fantasy Adventure Series (Official Edition) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Jealous Lion: Bedtime Stories for Children, Bedtime Stories for Kids, Children’s Books Ages 3 - 5, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Brave Like a Bee: Bedtime Stories for Children, Bedtime Stories for Kids, Children’s Books Ages 3 - 5, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Bridge to Terabithia Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pete the Kitty: Ready, Set, Go-Cart! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Bear Went Over the Mountain Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Wind in the Willows - Illustrated by Arthur Rackham Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Secret Garden: The 100th Anniversary Edition with Tasha Tudor Art and Bonus Materials Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Chicken Big Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Pout-Pout Fish Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mr. Popper's Penguins Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Coraline 10th Anniversary Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Amari and the Night Brothers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shiloh Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Graveyard Book Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Voyage of the Dawn Treader: The Classic Fantasy Adventure Series (Official Edition) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sarah, Plain and Tall: A Newbery Award Winner Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Silver Chair: The Classic Fantasy Adventure Series (Official Edition) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Secret Agent Disco Dancer
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Secret Agent Disco Dancer - Scott Gordon
Secret Agent Disco Dancer
The Zombies Ate My Pizza
Scott Gordon
My Crazy Pet Frog Reading Order
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Green Eggs and a Side of Earnest Bacon
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Double Agent Orangegrove
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Was It The Lobster Bisque?
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: The Last Ding Dong on Earth
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Did Somebody Say Pizza?
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Frosted Flake
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Was It The Tira Misu?
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Burger Blues
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Government Issue (Coming Soon!)
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: You Don't Know Jack
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Soccer Star
My Crazy Pet Frog: I Gave My Pizza A Spanking
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Santa's Super Helpers
My Crazy Pet Frog: The Nightmare Pizza Before Christmas
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: The Zombies Ate My Pizza
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Taco Tuesday
My Crazy Pet Frog (The original picture book!)
My Crazy Pet Frog: A Novelette
Collections
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Greatest Hits Vol. 1
Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Grand Slam
© 2020 Scott Gordon. All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.
E-book layout, formatting and design by Scott Gordon.
Written, edited and produced in the United States of America. Scott Gordon is proud to represent beautiful Orlando, Florida.
Image(s) licensed by DepositPhotos.com and © Julien Tromeur (zombie illustrations). Additional black and white illustration(s) by Alfredo Intoci. Extended licenses provided by Dreamstime Stock Photos and Deposit Photos.
First Edition (v1.0)
Published on February 28, 2020
ISBN-13: 9781393625841
Mailing List: http://eepurl.com/TFW3r
Support Me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scottgordon
Table of ContentsTable of Contents
Title Page
Also by Scott Gordon
Copyright
Dedication
Cast
Chapter 1: Pitstsa
Chapter 2: Pitstsa’s da Bomb!
Chapter 3: Second Coming
Chapter 4: Snicker If You Must
Chapter 5: Russian Fireworks
Chapter 6: Take Out King
Chapter 7: Sharp Objects
Chapter 8: Fish Food
Chapter 9: To a Crisp
Chapter 10: Sweatin’ to the Moldies
Chapter 11: Charred Snickerdoodle
Chapter 12: The Stink of Success
Chapter 13: Rocky Mountain Bleck
Chapter 14: Group Hug
Author’s Note: The Pizza That Refused to Die
Production Journal: Raising the Dead
About This Series
Series Guide
Product Description
About the Author
Bonus Preview
More Fun Picture Books
Ad 1: Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Santa's Super Helpers
Ad 2: Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Greatest Hits Vol. 1
Ad 3: My Crazy Pet Frog: The Nightmare Pizza Before Christmas
Thank You!
Support Me on Patreon
Dedication
To the holy trinity: love, pizza and zombies.
Amen.
ZombieChapter 1: PitstsaChapter 1: Pitstsa
Twas the week after Christmas, and what can I say? I was starving, raving—practically certifiable— and most definitely, not gay. Though the kitchen had been stocked with hams, frozen chicken, salmon—and what was that? Spam??? Could you believe it? There was smoked turkey, of the free-range, organic variety that melted in your mouth, a black pepper spicy version that made me want to shout. It was not long ‘til I was sadly out, contemplating what to do with my last sausage and sauerkraut. Ugh! Eggs, bags of carrots, potatoes—was that all I had left? Not a single tomato? Perhaps I could do Eggs Benedict? Or was I better off dead? As lovely as it all sounded—oh, how I longed for a trip to Nizza—I was really in the mood for an eighteen-inch pepperoni...
Nnyya?
I read off the brochure. The fold-out menu featured a pizza pie front and center, what appeared to be calzones but larger and more swollen, and what the heck were those? Tacos? Here??? Nevertheless, it was the pizza pie that caught my eye. (Doesn’t it always?)
Oh, how utterly American. Ok, Italian-American. Fine, Italian! If only I knew how to read or speak Russian. That crazy, good-for-nothing frog!
I grumbled. For the time being, there would be no trips to Nizza, and nary a slice of their award-winning, piccante Margherita pizza.
But I really didn’t have anything to complain about, at least not for the short term. I had been gifted, of all things, a house for Christmas, and quite a bit of land. So much land, that the nearest neighbor was... Oh dear...
I looked out the window. Twenty miles away?
I squinted. Thirty...?
There were mountains to accompany me, though, along with a thick wood of pines and a frozen lake that rested at their feet. Aside from that, there was snow—lots and lots of snow. I guess I could make a snowman to talk to if I got bored, or a whole town of them if I was feeling industrious. Holed away in my cozy, Russian mansion, I didn’t want to think about what I was going to do when the bratwurst ran out. Indeed, I probably had a month’s supply when I started. But the strange sounds at night, along with the fear that a certain super-sized frog might pay me a visit caused me to eat more than my fair share, and more still.
All the while, I had been worried about venturing out into the four foot drifts that were deeper in some places, and perhaps taller than my abbreviated height. Surely I would not come back if I drove a mile from home, and there was no way AAA operated out here. Though I was stuck, perhaps others weren’t, which made the take out menus in my care package all the more appealing. Yesss...
I stared at the pizza menu some more. Perhaps the pizza delivery guy could tell me what to do with myself.
I was warming up to the idea of placing an order, regardless of my lack of Russian.
To my surprise, the pizza place did not have a website. So much for the Russian bot narrative! Out here, the owner probably counted his money with an abacus.
When I could stand it no longer, I grabbed a phone and dialed the number on the brochure. Yes, at least there was one thing I could read on the menu—the phone number! After waiting for a few seconds for the call to go through, I was promptly given a busy signal. Hmm...
I considered the number I’d just typed into my cellphone.
Now, I’m not an electronics expert by any means. In fact, I barely know my way around a computer, and placing an online order can be a challenge at times for an old fart like me. So the busy signal?