Small Things Matter Most

By NK Sondhi

In life, we cannot always do great things—but we can do small things with great passion and love. This book discusses the ignored concepts about our small habits, small acts, and small events that happen every day in our life. Because of small problems we get lost in confusion and forget about our real goal of life. For want of big, we usually ignore and underestimate small things that play a vital role for big achievements.
The book will help to understand the traits that keep us away from achieving the pleasure of life full of human values. The importance of little things is embedded in our life. The need is to explore and implement them. This book will help readers to explore their individuality and attitude for a better and happy life.
Robert Brault said: "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may, look back and realize they were the big things."
Shakespeare said: "Life is short, so live your life. Be happy and keep smiling. Just live for yourself. Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you pray, forgive. Before you hurt, feel. Before you hate, love. Before you quit, try. Before you die, live."
Many years ago, a wise man in India wrote down these words:
"Carefully watch your THOUGHTS, for they become your WORDS.
Manage and watch your WORDS, for they will become your ACTIONS.
Consider and judge your ACTIONS, for they will become your HABITS.
Acknowledge and watch your HABITS, for they shall become your VALUES.
Understand and embrace your VALUES, for they become your DESTINY."

• Language: English
• Publisher: General Press
• Release date: Jan 16, 2020
• ISBN: 9789389440959

Book preview

Contents

Disclaimer

Preface

Chapter 1

Don’t be a Pot Calling the Kettle Black

Chapter 2

Jealousy is Harmful

Chapter 3

Rough Language and Anger

Chapter 4

Be Contented

Chapter 5

Self-Analysis

Chapter 6

Avoid Greed

Chapter 7

The Company of Bad People

Chapter 8

Accept Mistakes

Chapter 9

Be With the Truth and Be Honest

Chapter 10

Pulling Others Down

Chapter 11

Double Standards

Chapter 12

Lay the Foundation of a Good, Happy and Satisfactory Life

Chapter 13

Life is an Echo

Disclaimer

This book contains views, experiences, observations, thoughts, vision, and insights of several great achievers. In our lives, we have drawn inspiration from these thought leaders. These views, opinions, quotes, and incidents have been cited in the book with the relevant credits. Apart from this, some long-forgotten folk tales of childhood that inspired us when we were young have also been included in the book so that readers of this book too can get inspired. Besides, several contemporary anecdotes have also been included. The names, characters, places, and incidents in these anecdotes are all imaginary. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events or localities, or organizations is purely coincidental.

Preface

Everyone in this world is an extremely valued person. But few of us know about the value of being a human. We do not care about human values. Every day with every stance we are quick to change our stand ignoring ourselves and lose the very value of our real self. In moments of distress, strain, agony we usually tend to lose our true values which snatch the priceless moments of our joy and happiness. Life is short and is full of struggles. We lead a life created out of circumstances that happen every moment and every day. These circumstances are nothing but our creations. Sometimes, we act in a way that leads us to a tunnel of darkness which has no opening, no ray of hope, no bright light to see and we get overwhelmed with what we created. This happens only with our acts and things which appear very small and little. We wish to get big things done instantly ignoring small ones which pave a path for our big achievements.

Small things are ignored only because we all live in an era of a race where everyone is competing just to have more. What this ‘more’ is not defined anywhere. We are in the rat race just for the heck of it. The journey of life appears to belong full of struggles, obstacles, and disappointments. It is only because we look for great things to happen. We need everything big, elite, comparable, and unmatchable and so on. In this race of getting big, we normally lose the base of big things which lies in the roots of our small efforts. For want of big, we usually ignore and underestimate small things that play a vital role for big achievements. Small things, small efforts, small actions, and small events have enough force to change the direction of our life. In an environment of modern lifestyle equipped with advanced technology, all of us want instant results. We wish our every action must show quick results otherwise we abandon it in despair without caring for the due course when the action turns into reality. This has become a habit that controls our minds. We just reckon only for big and great to happen and overlook the small and little things that can make a big difference. Our little soothing talk, sweet words, face gestures, body language, behavior are mirrors that reflect our identity and personality. Chasing for big we forget these small things. Remember these are only small things that can make our life easy.

We ignore those small things that bring a smile to our life and also in the life of others. On the contrary, even a small problem appears like a mountain. We get lost with them losing our wisdom. It happens because we don’t have time to care for timely little actions. We normally overlook them. We only concentrate on big things to happen. But these are the little things we do every day that make a difference.

Robert Brault has rightly said:

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may, look back and realize they were the big things.

We feel happy in moments of joy. A small uneasy moment creates uneasiness in our mind. We are swayed away by uneasy moments, quickly and easily. Happy moments are welcome. We enjoy those joyful moments as they emerge and after little spell of time forget them instantly. But bad moments keep haunting us, sometimes for life. Waiting for good to happen we lose our patience to face the bad happenings. We lose our wisdom to know that every sad moment has a lesson for us to learn. We are ignorant. We do not realize these uneasy moments, whatever small; teach us good lessons about life. We are very cautious and careful about big events but do not care for small things which may turn our way of thinking.

A Greek philosopher said:

Well being is attained by little and little; and nevertheless is no little thing itself.

Going for a meeting and forgetting the agenda papers. Forgetting the DOB of fiancé, any moment of misfortune, incurring loss in business, facing anger of boss, a matter of depression, getting promotion, falling in love, winning a prize. Let there be any occasion we get either disturbed or feel happy. Moments of joy keep us happy but adverse moments snatch our momentum of peace. Ignoring small things at home, in the office, at working place, in a function, dealing with others, with friends and in the society may create huge difference in our identity.

Maurer rightly said:

By taking steps so tiny that they seem trivial or even laughable, you’ll sail calmly past obstacles that have defeated you before.

In life, we cannot always do great things. But we can do small things with great passion and love. Nobody on the earth is going to remember us for what we have achieved in our life or what big things we have done so far. People always remember how we treated them. The big question is what other people feel about us, what they think about us and what they say about us. These are only our small actions that create our image in society. All it depends on our attitude. Whether we are a joyful and happy person or always remain stuck with our narrow-minded insect devoid of heart feelings.

Shakespeare said:

I always feel happy. You know why, because I don’t expect anything from anyone. Expectations always hurt. Life is short, so live your life. Be happy and keep smiling. Just live for yourself. Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you pray, forgive. Before you hurt, feel. Before you hate, love. Before you quit, try. Before you die, live.

Many years ago, a wise man in India who was living in troubled times wrote down these words:

Carefully watch your THOUGHTS, for they become your WORDS.

Manage and watch your WORDS, for they will become your ACTIONS.

Consider and judge your ACTIONS, for they will become your HABITS.

Acknowledge and watch your HABITS, for they shall become your VALUES.

Understand and embrace your VALUES, for they become your DESTINY.

When we read such inspirational quotes we feel motivated to face the odds of life. These inspirational quotes provide courage in moments of distress, nothing more. If we really wish to lead a life of our choice, a life of our own, first of all, we have to decide what we wish from ourselves. Do we wish to become rich, a famous person, an industrialist or we want a happy, peaceful and joyful life. What do we wish for us? Is it a good name, fame, popularity, money or integrity? We are not able to decide exactly what do we need and what should we aspire for. We do not know what is the purpose of our life and what do we want to achieve. What is that we are longing for? Perhaps most of us do not exactly know what we are engaged in and what for.

I am sure; happiness and peace of mind are not indexed in the list of our wishes. These are always external factors that dominate our mind and soul. Most of us look for the apparent and quick benefits that may add to our leisure. We do not have an index for our perpetual and eternal happiness. Happiness does not come with big fortune, with a lot of money or creating a big empire. Being rich and big personality is a different thing and being happy and satisfied is altogether a different thing.

Explaining the importance of small things in life, famous thinker Bertrand Russell has written:

A person is not tested by his big acts but his real test lies in his small acts that turn to bigger in the future. A small hole in a ship may drop a big and very large ship. Similarly, a small boil can kill the big wrestler. So do not ignore small things. They are bigger than big things.

Caring for little things is better than big things. We deal with little things, little actions, little matters every moment and every day, but we cannot do great things every day. We forget that small things are the axis for our great actions. The things we consider little are not so little. They deal with reality and are important for doing great things. Caring for little things is more important in life if we wish for great or greater things to happen.

We have not to search for such little acts or things anywhere in the world. These already exist in our day to day life and we encounter them on a daily basis. The importance of little things is hidden in our inner self. These little things are hidden in our language, in our words, in our thinking, in our minds, and in our soul. What we need is to know and recognize these little things that are already with us and adopt them for a happy life. In the following chapters, we are going to discuss such things we have been ignoring so far.

Chapter 1

Don’t be a Pot Calling the Kettle Black

Condemning, Blaming and Criticizing Other May Ruin Our Life

When it comes to calling bad names or condemning others we act and react swiftly. The act of criticizing others is not only easy but amusing also. It is very easy to condemn others. We do such acts every day. Rather we enjoy condemning others. Nobody likes to miss this unique opportunity, only because it is very easy to find faults in others. We are skilled enough to point out mistakes for everything that others do.

Nobody wants to miss any chance of condemning even their relatives, friends and those who helped them during their bad days. Everyone is keen to taste this wonderful fun. We never think for a while what great damage we are doing because of this habit.

Due to this tendency, we are getting away from each other. We do admire others but only in their presence and start condemning as soon as they turn their back. With this very small nature, people are losing trust. When we condemn someone, we never think of the loss that we are creating for ourselves. Our small criticism, condemnation or insult done for others may turn them our enemies. In this life, we do not know when we would need their help.

Saint Kabir has said:

तिनका कबहू न निंदिये, पांव तले जो होय।

कबहूँ उडी आँखों पड़े, पीर घनेरी होय॥

(It means we should not condemn others because of their faults. Even the straw under the feet should not be condemned. We do not know when the straw may fall in our eyes and become a matter of big trouble for us. We all are suffering from one or the other drawbacks. Condemning others mean making our enemy. And the enemy will always do harms to us. Our habit of condemning others is equal to slander them.)

Psychologists say slandering is a good way to get rid of bitter heart feelings. It is also a way of feeling high self-esteem humiliating others. Because of this, the slanderer does not have control over his feelings and suffers from an inferiority complex. That is why we blame others instead of looking at our weaknesses and always remains busy finding faults in others.

There are many reasons for slanderers condemning others. Before getting into the reasons of condemnation we should know what condemnation is. In simple words condemnation means talking malicious things about a person who is not present and behind his back without giving him any chance of defense just with the sole purpose of defaming him and spoiling his reputation in the society. Many times it is a false condemnation. In other words, it is like telling lies, negative hateful and harmful things about someone. The people engaged in condemnation of others can have many reasons depending on their mentality. Although all such reasons cannot be explored but some of them can easily be examined.

1. Jealousy for Sake of Jealousy

2. Jealousy with Reason

3. Jealousy by Nature

Jealousy for Sake of Jealousy

Story of Two Friends

Arun was down and uneasy. Sitting alone under a tree in a park with sinking feelings he was lost in his thoughts. Ever since he lost his job he couldn’t cope up with burning instant problems of life. He was running a truly hard time. The future looked dark and he had lost all hopes of finding a job immediately. When he was struggling with his mental agony he felt some pressure on his shoulder. Somebody was pressing his shoulder from behind. He turned back to see who was there and found his old friend Jony was standing with a smiling face. He jumped to stand up and embraced him in a joyful mood. During the time of distress, it was a fortune to see Jony near him.

Jony was working as a Senior Manager in the HR Department of a big company. Arun got a job in his company on the exclusive recommendation of his dear friend Jony. He happily joined the new post and started working wholeheartedly. While his work burden was not very high but was paid a good salary. On the whole, he was feeling better. His only grudge was that he had to work under the supervision of his friend Jony the senior manager. Jony was a low ranked in the study but now was his immediate boss. This situation created heart burning for Arun. He