Dorian and Julia: Oakwood Book One: Oakwood, #1

By Tara C. Goddard

She was heartbroken, but then he came back home…she was never more afraid.

Julia had been regretting a decision she made a long time ago.  But when the love of her life comes back home to work in the hospital where she is a nurse, memories start flooding back.

Set in the fictional city of Oakwood, a place going through a growth spurt with long-time residents coming into their own, Nurse Julia Alexander never expected to see him again.

She was fine with loving him from afar.  But when he walked back into her life, she knew this was her chance to make things right. 

In this contemporary romance novel, the two former lovers begin a dance that will bring up what each has been hiding, and force them to confront one another, even if it means someone getting hurt in the process.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Goddard Collection
• Release date: Dec 19, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393611219

Tara C. Goddard

Tara C. Goddard is a writer of romance novels and noellas ranging from new adult to contemporary romance, with a soft spot for multicultural romances.  Her favorite book is Paolo Coelho's The Alchemist.  She also particularly loves Simone De Beauvoir's Lover Letters to Sartre.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

Sleeping in her childhood bed was a routine for Julia.  At least once a week she’d go to her mother’s two story house in the northwest quadrant of Oakwood and lay in her bed all night.  Julia did not get much sleep at her mother’s house.  The older woman’s constant need to go to the bathroom throughout the night was a disturbance.  However, the more honest truth was that being in that room, in that bed, brought back so many memories of her development.  She could not bear sleeping, if for no other reason than to recall memories of a happy, healthy childhood.

As the sun cracked through the windows signaling the morning hours, Julia lay on the twin bed  draped with black stallions, her hands on her stomach.  She ran her hand back and forth on her stomach, often taking a deep breath, trying to keep tears at bay.  She could hear her mother downstairs on the telephone.  Julia turned her head to look at the small analog clock on the night table.  It was a sky blue painted clock with a small picture in the center.  She smiled, wiping her eyes as she focused in on the picture. 

It had been seven years since they last had a serious conversation about anything.  It was a difficult conversation, she remembered.  There was a lot of crying involved.  Julia remembered him crying too.  She hadn’t imagined he would have that sort of reaction.  She was prepared to cry for both of them.  She had underestimated how he would feel.  They were both very young, and young boys did not tend to have such reactions.

There was a knock on the door.  It snapped Julia out of her journey through her memories.  Then the door creaked open slowly.  Julia didn’t want to turn and look at her mother.  She fixed her eyes on the picture in the clock.  Her blonde hair was much longer back then, she thought.  He seemed to be glowing in that picture.  It was summertime and his skin always got much darker in summer time.  She remembered when they were in middle school how he felt uncomfortable about his dark skin in the summertime. 

Julia honey, you’ve got to stop coming to my house if you are just going to stay up all night, her mother said as she sat on the bed.

I’m fine mom, I don't have to be back to work until Tuesday, I’ll be fine, Julia responded, still not looking at her mother.

Well I need you to come downstairs and have breakfast with your mother and I’m not taking no for an answer, her mother said.  Julia sighed.  She turned around to look at her mother.

Julia’s mother, Maureen, had long gray hair that she liked to put up in a bun.  Julia did not remember seeing her mother in any other hairstyle.  Even after going to the salon, somehow, Maureen’s hair would end up in a bun.  Julia smiled at her mom who looked confused by her daughter’s sudden cheery disposition.

Are you plotting to kill me? Maureen asked.  Julia laughed.

Jesus Christ mom, you’re so dramatic,

Your brother told me once he thought about killing me in my sleep, Maureen said as the two of them exited the bedroom.

Yet you still let him live in your house, Julia responded as she followed her mother down the stairs.

That’s my baby boy, Maureen said.

As they walked down the stairs into the kitchen, Julia noticed that her brother Jacob was in the kitchen cooking.  Julia and Jacob were three years apart, raised by the same mother but with two different ideas of what being a grown up meant.  Jacob, unlike his sister, did not work often.  He drank a lot, aided by his mother’s willingness to provide him with whatever type of alcohol he needed.  Maureen’s justifications for why she bought Jacob’s alcohol for him never made sense to her daughter.  Julia never had the leeway to live a fruitless life.  She was pressured by her mother to be the best in whatever she did. 

Julia! You leech, why are you here again? Jacob asked when he noticed his sister walking behind their mother.

I’m the leech? I’m surprised you stopped drinking enough to stand up straight, Julia replied.  She pulled one of the stools by the kitchen island and sat down.

Can you two not fight right now? Maureen said, I’m developing a headache, she added.  Julia scoffed.

Would you like some eggs and bacon dear sister? Jacob asked.

Sure, but don’t burn the bacon, you know I don't like that, she responded.

Sure thing lovebug, he replied as he cracked some eggs, Oh, so did you talk to your friend Marisa about me?

Jacob, why on earth would I purposely set up my friend with a failure like you?

Ouch, that’s hurtful, Jacob replied.

Julia loved her brother, but she liked her friends and was wary of doing anything to jeopardize her friendships.  Jacob’s undiagnosed alcoholism was not something she felt she should burden her friends with.  As she thought about her brother’s response to her comment, Julia noticed her mother on the phone in the living room, skipping around like she had won the lottery.  Julia knew Maureen to be a rather cheerful person, it made for a great upbringing to have a mother who always danced and shouted with reckless abandon.  Yet she imagined her mother was starting to lose her mind a little.  Maureen seemed to be a little too happy of late for someone about to turn fifty-five.

So, Maureen said as she entered the kitchen.  She placed her phone on the table by the backdoor.  She went over to Jacob and kissed him on the cheek and ran her fingers through his long blonde hair.

Why on earth are you so damn happy? Julia asked.  Maureen pulled a stool and sat next to Julia.

Darling, don’t be such a miserable jerk, it’s not nice and people won’t like you, Maureen said.

That’s why she doesn’t have a boyfriend, no guy wants to deal... Jacob started and Julia picked up a grape from the clay-colored bowl in front of her and threw it at his head.

Shut up Jacob, she said.

Jacob, dear, you’re burning the bacon, Maureen said.  Jacob laughed.

I’m not going to continue to come here if he is going to behave like the lunatic he is, Julia said, preparing to get up.

Sit down honey, don’t be so dramatic, I have some news for you, Maureen said and pulled Julia back on her seat.

Are you dying? Julia asked as she sat.

No Julia, I’m not dying, not for a long time, Maureen said.

Then what is it?

"So I just got off the phone with Alma Carver, Dorian is moving back to Oakwood,’ Maureen said.  Julia’s face froze, as if she was trapped in a time loop.  She stared at her mother as if she was a complex piece of code that needed to be deciphered.  Her heart rate increased and the hairs on her arms rose.

Well that’s an odd response, Jacob said as he slid a plate in front of Julia.

Honey, are you okay? I thought...I thought you’d be happy to hear that.

Um...Jacob you burned the bacon, Julia said as she turned to face her plate.

Are you okay? Maureen asked.  Julia nodded as she stuck her fork into the eggs.

She did not know how to properly respond to the news her mother had just shared with her.  She had just been staring at Dorian’s picture up in her room.  She wondered why he didn’t call her to tell her he was moving back to Oakwood.  She dug through her bag on top of the kitchen island and found her phone.  She wondered if he had called her or sent her a message and she simply missed it.  There was no message on her phone.  She checked her email on her phone and did not see a message from Dorian.  She put her phone back in her bag and continued to take small bites of the eggs.

Dorian used to make her eggs, she thought as she ate what her brother made.  Julia started to feel a rush of emotions that she couldn’t categorize.  She felt afraid when she had expected to feel excited.  It had been a long time since she saw him.  She wondered if she looked different since the last time she saw him.  She couldn’t understand why he was moving back to Oakwood.  Dorian had done his best to avoid coming home, she thought.  He barely made it home for the holidays, and when he did he never stayed long. 

Either you’re on drugs or boy scout coming home is getting to you, Jacob said as he stood behind the island across from his sister.

Jacob, this is not the time to make fun of me, Julia said, Mom are you sure Dorian is moving back here? To Oakwood? Julia added as Maureen walked back into the kitchen.

Honey, I don’t think his mother would lie about that, Maureen said as she ran her hands through her daughter’s hair.

Okay, it’s just he didn’t say anything...

Sweetie, I know it’s been a while, but maybe you should call him and say hi,

Yeah, Julia said.

She’s not going to do it, she still has feelings and all that, Jacob scoffed.  He quickly ran out of the kitchen before Julia could hit him with another grape.

As she drove on her way to meet with her friend and coworker Marisa Hannigan, Julia’s thoughts flowed back and forth between the last fight she and Dorian had and the last time she saw him.  It had been two Christmases ago that she last saw Dorian.  He did not see her.  He was out shopping for gifts with his mother.  Julia wanted to go up to them and say hi.  She missed him a lot and she wanted to smell him.  She smiled as she thought about how much she liked to smell him.  He always seemed to smell nice, even if he had been out all day.  She wished she had gone up to him and said something.  Then she thought about what she could have said to mend things.  Afterall, the two of them were equally hardheaded.

When Julia finally snapped back to reality, she could hear the blaring of horns as cars behind her impatiently waited for her to turn.  She obliged, waving profusely in a show of apology.  She pulled over to the side of the road a mile away from Asbury Park where she was supposed to meet with Marisa.  She took a deep full breath.  She was confused by her own reaction to the news that Dorian was coming home.  All these years she had longed for him to be near again.  Now that he was going to be in town, she was becoming overwhelmed by the idea of running into him and not knowing what to say or do.  Their relationship had been intense.  That they were friends as children, made sure that when they did start to date, they knew exactly how to hurt one another.  Yet she remembered Dorian as being kind.  He was kind to everyone.  He was helpful to strangers.  His single mother did not have to worry about him making stupid decisions.  She had done well to keep him focused.  Even when he joined the Army, everyone knew he was making the right choice for himself.  Julia hated that he joined the army.  But she knew, after everything that happened, he couldn’t bear to stay.  He couldn’t deal with seeing her every day. 

Julia’s phone began to ring.  It was Marisa calling her to find out how far she was.  Julia answered the phone and told Marisa she was not too far and that she would meet her by the central water fountain.  She then drove down to the park and parked in the visitor’s lot.  As she walked down the pathway to the water fountain, Julia wondered if Marisa knew about Dorian coming home.  Marisa and Dorian had been friends when they were younger as well.  She was one of a handful of people he would have spoken to if he was coming back.

Oh my god you beautiful creature, a petite brunette standing by the water fountain exclaimed as Julia walked up.

Marisa stop it, Julia responded as she hugged her friend.

You wore jeans to come walk around the park? You’re going to get hot,

I’m okay, I slept at my mom’s last night and I didn't get to go home yet, Julia said as Marisa hugged her tightly.

As they walked around the park, Julia listened as Marisa rambled on about the troubles her sister was having with her husband.  All Julia really wanted to talk about was what her mom had told her.  She wondered if Dorian had called Julia.  Julia felt a bit childish thinking about Dorian.  She had done her best to convince herself that what she had with Dorian was in the past.  The truth was that Julia hadn’t gotten over him.  The two of them were in a sense chained together somehow.  She wondered if he had gotten over her.  She imagined all these years later he would have already found someone to love, or many others.  Dorian was charming, she thought.  He could also be a jerk sometimes, she remembered, but she loved being around him.  Even when things soured, she longed to be around him.

Did Dorian call you? By any chance? Julia interrupted Marisa’s storytelling as they came close to a bench.  Marisa stopped walking and sat.  Julia joined her.

Well,

I’m sorry to just jump in like that.  It’s just that my mother told me like an hour ago that he was moving back to Oakwood and I was just wondering...I mean if he would call anyone it would probably be you, Julia said.  Marisa took a deep breath.

I assumed he would have told you.  I only know because I had to do some paperwork for him with the hospital.  I hadn’t spoken to Dorian since...I don’t even remember.  He doesn’t even have a Facebook profile,

I know, Julia said, I've tried looking,

You mean you’ve tried stalking him, Marisa responded.  The two women laughed.

It’s just...I don’t know how I feel.  I was thinking about him this morning.  I was looking at that picture in my little clock in my old room,

I remember the day you took that picture, you were so happy, Marisa said.  Julia sighed.

I don’t know why, I just feel a knot in my stomach, like a little girl, Julia said.

I know the feeling....you probably still love him Julia, and that’s okay,

No, no...I...we are over, it’s been a long time, Julia said as Marisa put her arm around her shoulders.

Well, better buckle up, you will be seeing a lot of him, so you’ve got to figure out how to deal with it, Marisa said.

Exactly what is he having to do with the hospital? Julia asked.  Marisa smirked.

Let’s walk some more, I have a fat piece of cake waiting for me at home, better to burn some calories, Marisa said as she rose from her seat.

What is he having to do with the hospital Marisa? Julia asked as Marisa started walking.

The hospital hired him...he’s your new Neuro doc, Marisa said.

Jesus! When were you going to tell me about this? Julia asked as she caught up to Marisa.

I didn’t want to upset you.  The head nurse is supposed to be the one giving out this kind of information, you know, hierarchies and all, Marisa said.  She quickly hugged Julia.  Julia tried to push her off, but Marisa hung on.

Long after she had left the park and Marisa’s company, Julia finally made it back home, stressed out about what Marisa told her.  Her townhouse in the Northwest quarter of Oakwood had been bequeathed to her by her grandfather upon his death.  It was small, but big enough for her.  Julia did not enjoy the upkeep involved in owning her own place, but she appreciated the serenity of solitude provided by her own private enclave.  However, this time around, this same place of solitude and peace, proved to be more of an echo chamber than she would have liked.

She could not distance herself from the thoughts about Dorian and having to work with him.  Julia enjoyed the beauty of longing from a distance.  Because he was not nearby, it was easy to convince herself that the things they went through would suffice in filling that hole in her heart.  Remembrance was easy, she didn’t have to deal with the person in full view.  She feared that being in the same room, seeing one another regularly, would open a door she is not certain either one of them would want to walk through.

She picked up her phone and started dialing the last number she had for him.  Then she stopped.  She walked into her kitchen and took out a bottle of tequila from the refrigerator.  She poured herself a shot of tequila and drank it swiftly.  Then she looked back at her phone, she thought again about dialing.  Then it hit her that the two of them were in a true wasteland of emotions.  She hated him for leaving, she recalled.  Yet she understood why he left.  And now, she was starting to resent him for coming back.  Deep down, she knew that this animosity building in her at that moment was less about him returning and more about him having stayed away.  She took it as a personal affront that the boy she loved for so many years went out of his way to make sure he never ran into her again.  She was fully aware that he had come back from time to time to see his mother.  She was kept in the loop by the same mother whose love he needed in his absence.  Julia wondered why he never clamored for her.  Afterall, he did love her.

She paced back and forth in the kitchen.  She knew Dorian well, she thought.  Even if he still loved her, he would not have made that fact known.  When you’ve been with someone for a while, you get to figure out what the rest of the world will never get to know.  As much as she was anxious, she knew that Dorian above all else, was afraid.  He never showed his cards to anyone.  He did his best to distance himself from others if he felt he was starting to care too much.  The trouble with that was that he could never distance himself from her. 

The clarity with which she viewed Dorian’s need to get away from her, was alarming and heartbreaking all at once.  She felt rejected, something that she did not contemplate before.  Dorian’s return was going to be problematic now because it would be a chance for her to see him interact with other women.  It would mean her being okay with him showing interest in others.  When he was away, she didn’t have to see him with others.  She didn’t have to wonder if he was capable of building strong relationships with other people.  She started to feel a sudden rush of heat through her body.

Then her doorbell rang.  She put down the bottle of tequila and went to the door.  Through the peephole, she could see that it was Randall Benton, a lawyer she had been dating on and off for a few months.  Randall greeted her with a cheery smile with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a