Her Mid-Life Cravings

By Robin Rance

Leila Brown is going through her second divorce…

 

Leila sounded disgruntled when she spoke of men. Her past marriages failed, not her fault but theirs once she started maturing. Why are men never satisfied with what they have?

 

Once her divorce was final, she vowed to stay away from all men. She was tired of feeling worthless and like she didn't matter. Everything she did from this point on was for herself and not to please someone else. Leila came first.

 

After she took the time she needed to fully recover from the grief both men in her life had cost her, she might consider dating again. But she'd never, ever let another man hurt her.

 

However, there was something about the younger shop owner that made took away all rational thinking.

 

Drake Sanders is raising two daughters on his own…

 

Drake loved his girls but was grateful that they were nothing like their mother was. Unlike her, they were kind and thoughtful and enjoyed spending time with him.

He loved being married, but she never had. Even when Drake begged for another chance, she didn't care enough about him or their two girls to give it another try.

 

Drake was still in his prime, and he had needs. He wanted to find that special someone to share the rest of his life with but was afraid it would never happen–until a beautiful woman walked into his place of business.

 

Follow Leila and Drakes' story as they fight her self-esteem and health issues, and Drake's battle with his daughters and their unwillingness to share him.

 

Two lonely adults have a chance at love in this second-chance romance.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Robin Rance
• Release date: Aug 15, 2022
• ISBN: 9781393220572

Robin Rance

Robin Rance is married but spent twenty-two years as a single mother of five before she married her forever husband. She was a letter carrier for twenty-four years and is now retired from the postal service. Now she lives in Southern Utah, where she writes her books, cooks, and spends quality time with her family and grandkids.   Robin began writing after a reoccurring dream kept making an appearance. She wakes up regularly with other stories begging to be told. Robin generally writes contemporary romance and has written other genres, including inspirational romance and a fantasy historical book. She also has three children’s books, one a sweet young adult book.  Robin currently has over thirty books that are all self-published and is always working on writing more. If you enjoy what you’ve read, please remember to leave a review, and please recommend her to your friends and family members who read

Book preview

Leila Brown is going through her second divorce...

Leila sounded disgruntled when she spoke of men. Her past marriages failed, not her fault but theirs once she started maturing. Why are men never satisfied with what they have?

Once her divorce was final, she vowed to stay away from all men. She was tired of feeling worthless and like she didn't matter. Everything she did from this point on was for herself and not to please someone else. Leila came first.

After she took the time, she needed to fully recover from the grief both men in her life had cost her, she might consider dating again. But she'd never, ever let another man hurt her.

However, there was something about the younger shop owner that made took away all rational thinking.

Drake Sanders is raising two daughters on his own...

Drake loved his girls but was grateful that they were nothing like their mother was. Unlike her, they were kind and thoughtful and enjoyed spending time with him.

He loved being married, but she never had. Even when Drake begged for another chance, she didn't care enough about him or their two girls to give it another try.

Drake was still in his prime, and he had needs. He wanted to find that special someone to share the rest of his life with but was afraid it would never happen–until a beautiful woman walked into his place of business.

Follow Leila and Drakes' story as they fight her self-esteem and health issues, and Drake's battle with his daughters and their unwillingness to share him.

Two lonely adults have a chance at love in this second-chance romance.

Copywrite:

Robin Rance retains 100% of the rights and copyright licenses to the manuscript and all other materials found in this book.

Case number under filed under ©Robin Rance2022

All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law 2022

Dedication:

This story is dedicated to anyone who suffers from self-esteem issues.

You are beautiful, no matter what anyone might tell you.

Love yourself for who you are and not how you look.

Get help if you are struggling for acceptance.

Her Midlife cravings

The End and the Beginning

Chapter 1

I CLIMBED OUT OF THE shower. It was time to pull myself out of the slump I'd been in for the last eleven years. He, my second husband, was gone, and it was time for me to get over it. He, acting as my husband, had ended much longer than that. We were married for fifteen years. We hadn't had sex or romance of any kind for the last ten of them.

He wanted someone younger, firmer, and thinner. All the things that I no longer was. I dried myself off and stood in front of my floor-length closet door. I quickly closed my eyes, then slowly opened them. I was stark naked and needed to know what time had done to my once thin, hot body.

Time hadn't been the only enemy. My husband was my number one enemy. He was the one who shredded my self-esteem into tiny bits and pieces. He worked on it a little at a time. Any that I still had, he took from me that day. I now refer to it as RUK me day. R. U. Kidding me! I'll remember RUK me day for as long as I live. That was when he told me he was no longer attracted to me and didn't want to have sex with me ever again.

I was in my prime; my sexual peak was still climbing. I would have walked out on him right then if I hadn't loved Him so much. I stayed thinking he was going through his own mid-life crisis. He was fifty-four, and I was forty-six, and giving him the benefit of the doubt was one of my biggest mistakes.

I should have paid attention to all the signs. They were there; I just chose to ignore them. He had a pair of those sunglasses; you know, the kind. The ones where He could stare at any young thing without my knowing. Yeah, like I was that stupid. Who wears sunglasses inside a mall? Then there were those times when he got himself all cleaned up, shaved, brushed his teeth, and flossed. He only used mints on those days. They were the ones where he was going to special work meetings.

He stopped the mints long after we were married. His breath was atrocious, and I was not particularly eager to kiss him until he brushed his teeth.

Oh well, I didn't have to worry about that anymore. Not only had the sex stopped, but we didn't touch in bed at all. In fact, I placed a pillow in between us to make sure of it. Avoiding Him had become an obsession, one He didn't seem to mind at all. We didn't cuddle, hug, or kiss. Not even to say goodbye or hello. The only physical contact between us was when he grabbed my hand to hold it in front of others. I supposed the idea of us still being together regarding how others perceived us was the only thing still important to Him.

That irritated me. I didn't even want to hold hands with Him. He’d destroyed my self-esteem and taken away my self-worth. The question was, why? Why had I let him have that much power over me? It was all in the name of love. That romantic love that you search for all your life. The romantic love that only happens in those juicy romance novels.

I'd thought I'd found it with Him. While we dated, the sex was good, positively glorious.

But c'est la vie. His declaration of the no-sex war he declared against me floored me. It took me a long time to get off that floor.

After that, I didn't care anymore. I ate myself out of my size sixes, soared past size ten, and landed somewhere on my size sixteen fat butt. It was time to face my new reality headfirst and see if I could pull myself out of the dregs of my past ten-year existence.

Once my eyes were open, I decided to start at the top and make my way down. I began by squinting and realized that was defeating the purpose; rose-colored glasses and eye squints would not show me as I was.

After a long deep breath, I was ready to face the truth.

My hair He'd once called 'dirty blonde' was now a platinum silver blonde. I wore it long, and depending on my mood, I either straightened it or let it go naturally curly. He had hated the curls, so I reveled in them now.

My face was plumpish but mostly unlined for my age. I had always used a night cream, and more so now than back then, I was grateful for my grandmother's advice. Put something on your face to keep it moisturized. I'd been heeding her advice for many years. My eyes were still an unusual shade of blue, and my once thick curly lashes had lost some of their bulk but still had that curl. My upper lip had thinned, like so many older women, but dang it; it still needed to be kissed.

I slowly moved downward. My neck had no beginnings of the dreaded double chin, which was a bonus. Yay. My upper chest had some sun-damaged spots - signs of old age, but it wasn't too bad. Maybe one of those dermabrasions would help. My boobs, on the other hand. What had happened? Saggy, yes, larger than most, yes... but wasn't that normal for older women? Going braless wouldn't be an option for me in the near or far future.

In the past, my stomach and belly were always one of my best feature, but not now. I lifted one of the rolls to look at my belly button. I'd pierced it when I was forty and at one time adorned it with baubles and belly rings...that was until RUK day. There was a time when my belly was show-worthy. Now it looked like it was smiling; the button part of it stretched across my middle.

Could I even do a sit-up now?

Belly sag, yes, I had that too, but well deserved after having my four children. My legs were never my best body part. I always had big knees, and my thighs wore out more pairs of jeans where they'd rubbed near the crotch area. Speaking of the crotch, did that change its appearance as it aged? Who knew?

I turned around to look at my behind, then quickly faced forward. Before I ever considered dating again, I had a lot of work to do on my appearance. There were two more things to consider, my feet. They weren't bad as far as feet went. I had two good things going for me.

It was a start, but now I had to decide on a plan of attack. It was a good plan that I could accomplish on my own. He was no longer around me to sabotage my efforts. He’d done that so often before.

I think he realized that if I returned to my skinny self again, I might leave Him, so he did his best to keep me fat, and it worked.

Leila Suzan Brown, you can do this. I knew I could. My kids weren't close anymore, so they wouldn't be around to stop me from exercising. I would eventually get a part-time job, but for now, the settlement from Him would sustain me long enough for me to do what needed to be done unless I chose differently.

The first thing I would do after getting myself dressed would be to go to the superstore and buy only healthy food. I'd thrown away everything that would tempt me. Then after I put away the groceries, I would make myself a menu and consider it the law.

Tomorrow I would get up and start walking; after a few days of that, I'd move on to bigger and better things at the fitness club I'd signed up for online.

It was late February, and the days were getting warmer. By summer, I hoped to be at least forty pounds lighter. I didn't have any scales to go by, so I'd have to judge my progress on how my clothes fit.

I made up a chart to track my measurements and keep track of my fitness routines. Visualizing helped me with all aspects of my life.

I was determined to date a man again, and if I were lucky, I'd find someone who would have sex with me, too. Please, God. Just one more time before I die?

Day 45

I was so proud of myself this morning. I'd been able to squeeze into a few of my size twelves. I'd walked almost every day and went to the local gym three times a week.

I'd even met a man there who wanted to take me dancing. I still had to think about it. He wasn't my type. The saying beggars can't be choosers came to mind. It wasn't just his appearance. It was his teeth and the foul smell coming from his mouth that turned me off. I wanted to kiss someone passionately again, and the thoughts of kissing him turned my stomach.

I decided to treat myself every time I reached a goal. I hadn't cheated once on my diet, and it was time for one of my favorites. I'd work it off hard later at the gym. I pulled up in front of the local ice cream store, Scoops and Wishes, and almost drove away. Everyone deserves a reward for meeting a goal. I'd met and surpassed mine, so I deserved this.

But I still felt guilty as I walked up to the door and entered the sinfully delicious smells of waffle cones and other delights. If I were doing this, I would make it count. I'd have one scoop, no waffle cone, and it would be my favorite kind of ice cream, macadamia nut.

I walked up to the counter to look for my flavor of choice.

Can I help you, Ma'am? The girl hiding around the corner, texting on her phone, stuck the phone into her pocket and pasted a smile on her pretty young face.

God, I hated that term. Yes, I would like a scoop of your macadamia nut ice cream, please.

Did you want that in a waffle cone or a sugar cone? She asked with a serious lack of feeling.

Can I get it in a small dish instead? I was so proud of myself. Before losing the weight, I would have asked for two scoops in a waffle cone and whipped cream on top.

I paid for my scoop and sat down to eat it. There would be no more eating and driving for me. That was another bad habit that I stopped doing.

I took my time and savored each bite. As soon as I finished my treat, I threw away my cup.

My next stop was the local Goodwill store to donate a bag of clothes that had gotten too large for me. It was a great feeling, and quite an accomplishment for me.

After I left Goodwill, I decided to do my grocery shopping at the new superstore in town.

Big mistake. He, my now ex, was also shopping with his latest and younger bimbo. Was she the one he was with while he was married to me? Hmmm.

I decided to ignore him, and maybe he wouldn't notice me. That worked many times before. I turned my back on them and picked up the cans of food sitting on the shelves. I read the labels until I heard, Leila, Is that you?

Oh, it's you. Yes, it's me. I avoided looking directly at either one of them when I answered. Nice seeing you again.

I tried to focus on the cans when He asked. You've done something different to yourself, haven't you?

Yes, I lost 220 pounds of asshole. I wanted to say that, but I thought I'd be polite. Yes, it's my hair. Bye now. I pushed my cart into the next aisle to catch my breath; then, I fled to the front of the store. Running into Him with her had upset me more than I thought it would.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, I repeated the words all the way to the cashier. Then without looking around at anyone else, I paid for the few groceries I had in my cart and drove home.

After I got home, I put away the items I'd bought at the store, except for the salty pretzels to snack on before changing my clothes. Hank and I were going to meet at a local club and go dancing. I figured, why not? I didn't have any other plans, and if he wanted to kiss me after the date, I could always come up with an excuse not to.

What do people wear dancing nowadays?

The first time I'd ever gone dancing with my now ex was nearly twenty years ago. I remember it well. I’d worn a slinky mid-thigh little black dress and black high heels. I'd never had alcohol before in my life, and I had ordered a Long Island iced tea. Nobody told me it wasn't the ice tea I was used to drinking, and I had three of them.

We had a fantastic night together and did a lot of talking. He didn't feed me, but I finished every one of those tall ice teas. And we danced until the place closed.

I remembered throwing up in the bushes just outside of the club, over and over again. I woke up the following day with Him in my bed.

I was much wiser now, and there was no way in