Dying To Live

By Virginia Stone

It’s been six weeks since I was told I only had a matter of time left to live. I never dreamed that living would drain the life out of me. The cancer is worsening every day, slowing me down. It’s harder to catch my breath at times and I tire throughout the day. I can’t eat because the smell of the food makes me sick on my belly. The pain is crippling and restricting much movement. I hate it! I don’t think anybody wants to die. I am one of them. I feel I haven’t finished living yet. Since I’ve been here at Jesse’s dude ranch I’ve managed to bruise friendships, ride and care for a horse, give a violin concert, play for the church services, flirt with a cowboy named Nikolas Geary and fall in love with a cowboy named Robee Lange.

Dear God, is this a tease or taste of heaven?

Giny’s been given a reason to live, but will she live long enough to carry it through?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Virginia Stone
• Release date: Sep 25, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463353127

Book preview

Prologue

Monday, April 24, 2015

9:17 am: Giny Lynn! a familiar voice called out. Giny stood to her feet and exhaled slowly to steady herself. She joined Nurse Pamela in the doorway. Follow me. Dr. Alan will see you now.

Giny followed Nurse Pamela down the hall into room #4 and sat down in the first available empty chair. Nurse Pamela stood at the counter. She looked down at her laptop and asked, What brings you here today?

Giny anxiously looked around the room then back at Nurse Pamela. Some good news I hope! Nurse Pamela typed a few words and left.

Giny read the literature posted on the walls as she walked around the room. She thumbed through left behind magazines before seating herself on the cold examining table. She clutched the sides of the table, shaking out of her skin, not knowing if it was the temperature of the room or the fear of not knowing the test results that made her teeth chatter. Her pulse pounded in her ears. Footsteps up and down the hallway outside hit the floor like bricks. She could hear every word spoken by the staff outside her door. Somebody clapped a metal clip board shut and she jumped down off the table. She walked around in circles, awaiting the dreaded knock on the door…

The knock startled her. She scooted back up on the table. Dr. Alan walked into the room with his head hung low, holding some papers in his hands. He sat down on the little rolling stool and looked her in the eyes. The cancer has spread throughout your body and is not responding to any of our treatments. I’m really sorry, Giny, but there’s nothing else we can do for you. Here, take these pamphlets home and look them over. Our oncology counselors will be in touch with you to discuss your options and answer any questions you may have. Dr. Alan put his hand on hers. I’m very sorry. Do you have any questions for me, right now?

Giny, numb to the news, tried to swallow past the lump in her throat. How long, doc?

Without treatment a matter of months! I’ll be here to help you along the way. He released her hand and stood up. Anything else, today?

No! Giny choked.

He nodded and shut the door behind him. Giny burst into tears. She cried as she redressed, signed the necessary paperwork, and staggered her way to the parking garage. All the cars looked the same through her teary eyes so she pressed the location button on her key chain remote and her 2010 Buick Le Sabre beeped Here I am!

I’m not ready to die yet! she screamed in her head as she got in her car and drove off. In that moment, she remembered that someone had once invited her to visit his dude ranch. She blurted out, That’s just what I’ll do! As soon as she reached her driveway she pulled out her cell phone and dialed 240-555-5050. It rang…

Hello! someone answered.

Hello, may I speak to Jesse?

This is Jesse.

Jesse, Giny Lynn from Willcox, Arizona, remember me?

Giny Lynn, of course I do.

I was calling to see if that invitation to visit your dude ranch was still available.

Of course it is. We’d love to have you!

Great, I’m on my way! she blurted out as she ended the call.

CHAPTER ONE:

On My Way

On Sunday, April 30th, 2015

4:00 in the am, Giny opened her closet door and thumbed through the clothes hanging there. She picked out a couple of items, closed the door, and packed the suitcase with the western attire and accessories that she had bought the day before. She put the suitcase in the trunk of her car, closed the lid, and stood there taking in one last memory before she left Willcox, Arizona.

She headed down the road, north to a little town known as Sierry Peaks located in the Piney White Mountains of Arizona, population 1959. She started early and drove with the windows up and the air on, listening to the only radio station available in the area. Not her choice of music, but the smooth soft rock tunes kept her company.

9:30 am: She stopped in San Carlos for gas and a bathroom break. By noon, she stopped at Judy’s Diner in Globe for a slow serviced lunch and a well needed bathroom break.

5:30 pm: She reached The Flagstaff Travel Lodge in Flagstaff. After checking in, it was still daylight so she drove out of town to the former roping arena where her trailer house once was five years earlier. She scrounged around the burnt rubble in hopes of finding her lost Bible. After moving quite a bit of rubble around, she found it miraculously untouched by the fire.

She picked it up and held it to her heart. Oh, my, never in this lifetime did I think I’d ever see you again! She kissed the cover of her found Bible.

She returned to the Flagstaff Travel Lodge and picked at her dinner. After dinner, she lay on the bed and searched through her beloved Bible for hours. When she finally got to sleep, all the Flagstaff memories haunted her mind.

5:30 am: She was up very early, Monday morning, May 1st, 2015. After she took care of her morning business and ate the continental breakfast provided, courtesy of the Travel Lodge, she was back on the road. By noon she was eating lunch at her favorite eatery, Chick Fil A in Holbrook. After lunch she filled her tank up with gas from the Circle K across the street, snuck in a bathroom break and headed back down the road.

2:15 pm: Giny visited the Hon-Dah Casino in Pinetop. She lost a handful of quarters and left. She drove with the window down breathing in the fresh piney air hoping to unplug her ears.

5:15 pm: She drove up to a road sign with an arrow pointing. Jesse’s Dude Ranch This Way. She sighed. I’m almost there!

She made a right turn at the road sign and drove down the dirt road. She had to stop for a couple of deer that ran in front of her car. She waited and watched the turkeys take off and land in the open meadow. On down the road in a corner fence a group of horses watched her drive by.

Around the next curve she saw a long low log building through the trees. It had small windows visible from the road with a metal roof.

Next, she passed a larger building with two wide open doors. She saw hay bales piled inside. She believed this to be a barn. She drove past three empty corrals before making it to the driveway.

It was 6:17 pm on Monday Evening the first day of May when she pulled up the main driveway where a man and woman stood in front of a smaller log building with a metal roof. The man waved his cowboy hat.

CHAPTER TWO:

Giny Meets Robee

Giny giggled. I know that cowboy hat. It’s Jesse!

With a huge smile and extended hand Jesse helped her out of the car. Welcome, Miss Giny, to Jesse’s Dude Ranch! He was more weathered than she remembered, but he still had that huge smile and firm grip.

Giny stretched her back, taking in deep breaths of the fresh piney scented air, releasing a long sigh. Her ears popped, correcting her hearing, and her nose discharged a pinch of drainage. At that moment, as her head was being cleared of stuffy sinus a horse poop smell up winded from the horse barn area, tickling her nose. She squinted her watery eyes and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

When she was able to focus again, she looked past Jesse. In the distance she saw some purplish colored mountains capped with black tips and large pine trees that sparkled like glitter as the evening shadow covered over them.

Jesse led Giny up to a very attractive older woman sporting a short haircut covered by a cowboy hat. Giny, meet Leigh Dalton, my girlfriend!

Giny shook Leigh’s hand. Glad to meet you!

Giny walked back over to her car. She popped open the trunk and reached in for her suitcase. Jesse tapped Giny on the shoulder. She stood erect and saw a tall fit cowboy standing next to Jesse. She swallowed and stared.

Jesse introduced. Giny, meet Robee Lange, my ranch foreman.

Giny stood there speechless. Robee tipped his cowboy hat at her. Ma’am!

Jesse turned to Robee. Take Giny’s bag to her cabin!

Robee lifted the bag and lowered it quickly back to the ground. What’s in there, rocks?

Giny snickered over her shoulder and walked off with Jesse.

After dropping Giny’s bag off to her cabin Robee rejoined Jesse Leigh and Giny at the dinner table. Giny was the first to speak. Jesse, it’s been too long…

Fifteen years!

Really?

To the day! Jesse picked up his napkin and wiped his chin. He looked across the table at Robee. When you’re done eatin’, how about you walk Miss Giny to her cabin?

Robee stood up and pushed his chair under the table. Follow me.

Giny followed Robee out the door. So, your name is Robee, huh?

That’s right, ma’am!

Not liking the word ma’am she insisted, Please, Giny Lynn is fine!

He stopped short of the front porch and faced her. Here’s your cabin, Miss Giny Lynn.

She smiled back. Thank you, kind sir!

Robee. That’s my name, he said and left.

She went inside and sat down on the edge of the bed. She looked at her suitcase and shook her head. Where are my pills? I’ll unpack later!

CHAPTER THREE:

Giny’s Walk About

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2015

6:00 am: A loud knock on the door startled Giny awake. Who’s there?

Robee!

Be right there. She paused to gather herself and opened the door.

Robee stood at her door. He raised an eyebrow. Ma’am!

She brushed past him in the doorway. Name’s Giny, cowboy!

Robee walked with Giny to the dining room. He seated Giny at the table. She tilted back her head and smiled up at him. Thanks, cowboy! He winked back at her making her blush.

Jesse put eggs and bacon in front of her. Mornin’, Giny, trust you slept well!

Giny picked up the napkin off her plate and placed it in her lap. Slept like a log. Jesse, I really love your place. The green pastures, the horses, the turkeys, and the fresh air. All of it!

Jesse grinned at her. Just enjoy yourself!

I’m dying of cancer. How can I enjoy myself? She put a cheerful smile on her face. Oh, I will! She looked down at the plate of food and her stomach panged. She forced herself to eat tiny bites anyway.

After breakfast, she grabbed an apple off the breakfast table and put it in her pocket for later. She went back to her cabin, unpacked and freshened up. She took her pills out of the suitcase and took her morning dose. She wiped her face and headed out the door for a walk about.

On her walk about she walked up on Robee. He was propped up against the fence panel with one foot on the bottom fence rail with arms crossed resting on the top rail, staring into the corral. She took stance next to him. Hey, cowboy, whatcha looking at?

Robee pointed at a handsome yellow horse with black feet, mane and tail. See, that buckskin out there, that’s my horse, Jasper.

Gorgeous horse, Giny said as she walked away. She glanced over her shoulder. Robee’s eyes were aimed at her behind and he wore a smirk on his face. His appreciation made her feel beautiful, in spite of the cancer. She smiled and kept on walking.

Giny made her way to the horse barn. She walked through the doorway holding an apple in her hand. A grey horse caught Giny’s eye. The horse eyed Giny suspiciously the closer she approached the stall. The horse took three steps backwards away from the stall gate, waiting.

Giny reached the stall gate holding the apple out to the horse. The horse checked Giny out and took a second glance at the apple. It stepped forward and grabbed the apple. Giny rested her arms atop the stall gate and looked at the sway back bony horse. That poor horse really needed that apple.

I see you met Pear Lee. She’s our ranch icon. Spoke a voice from behind her.

Startled, Giny turned around and faced the speaker. Why is that horse so skinny?

She’s older than dirt and she came with the ranch! Let’s go meet some of the other horses. Robee introduced the horses as they strolled past the stalls.

Giny paused in front of a stall. What a gorgeous animal!

This is the only chestnut bay we’ve ever had. Jesse’s pride and joy, Apache Rose!

She is certainly beautiful! Giny reached up and stroked the horse’s nose. Can I ride her?

Robee shook his head. I don’t know. Can you ride?

CHAPTER FOUR:

Bruised Friendships

Without hesitation Giny blurted out Sure!

Robee saddled up Apache Rose and held the stirrup so Giny could step up into it.

Thanks, cowboy! she said as he shoved her butt into the saddle. She picked up the reins and clamped down with her thighs to hang on. Apache Rose picked her head up, twitched her ears and made her getaway running away from the barn, down the road into the woods.

Giny frantically pulled on the reins trying to get the horse to stop, but Apache Rose ignored her and kept on running. She bounced in the saddle, dropped the reins and held onto the saddle horn.

Apache Rose, stop! she yelled out. The horse only twitched her ears and kept running.

Giny hung on to the saddle horn for dear life and cried. Her legs hurt, hanging onto the saddle. Her butt hurt, bouncing in the saddle. Her hips were going to pop out of their sockets with the width of Apache Rose’s back. She bounced off the saddle horn a couple of times, knocking the wind out of her. She closed her eyes as the horse weaved in and out of the low lying limbs.

Whack!

After a while, someone gently lifted her head with both hands and placed it on some soft surface that smelled like dryer sheets and thumped like a heart.

Giny opened her eyes. It was totally dark. She moaned. Oooo…..who?

Me, Robee. What happened?

Apache Rose wouldn’t stop running. Now, I’m on the ground.

Robee brushed his fingers across the bump on her head. Nice size goose egg you got there.

Giny pushed his hand away, screeching, Oweee!

Robee checked her arms, legs and neck. Do you hurt anywhere else?

My head hurts too much to tell.

Robee laid Giny flat on the ground in front of the fire. Lay still and try not to move around. You may have more injuries than we can tell because it’s dark and I can’t see anything. Try to get some rest, now!

Giny shut her eyes.

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2015

5:00 am: Giny moaned as she turned over onto her right side. The ground was hard. Everything hurt. Her face hurt. Her hips hurt. Her thighs hurt. Her butt hurt. Her back hurt. She had a crick in her neck from sleeping on the ground all night. She rolled over again, trying to find a position that didn’t hurt.

Robee gently tapped on her thigh. Giny, wake up!

Giny rolled onto her back. She moaned and opened her eyes. She put her arm over her eyes to block the brilliant sun. Robee sat her up. Where do you hurt the most?

Dunno yet, got a bit of a headache, and hurts all over.

He handed her a bottle of water. Drink this down so we can go!

She tried to push his hand away. I can’t drink anything right now. I’m sick on my stomach.

He insisted. Drink it anyway! Giny sipped down the water making faces with each sip. Why did you lead me to think you knew how to ride?

Giny lowered her head in guilt and drank her water. She couldn’t look at him because she knew it was her own fault.

Robee put a wobbly Giny on Apache Rose and headed them back to the ranch. She hung onto the saddle horn, her head spinning, and her stomach nauseous from hunger and the need of her meds and the crack on the head. She’d never been so happy to see a place as the horse barn.

Jesse stood in the doorway with his arms crossed as they rode up. What are you doing on my horse? He frowned at Giny and became very cold. That was plain stupid of you. You were lucky you weren’t killed!

Giny’s eyes welled up with tears. She