Revelationaries

By Refried Bean

This is a short collection of jumble poems, blog posts, and essays from Refried Bean.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Refried Bean
• Release date: Sep 5, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463861905

Refried Bean

Refried Bean is from Greenville, SC. Refried worked in a bookstore for twelve years and has an M.F.A. in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts. Refried now lives in the Bronx near a Stop and Shop.

Book preview

God is good.

I wanted to be a potato

and I am a potato.

No one owed it to me,

And it’s not something

I have total control over.

But in the end,

it can’t be disputed,

and all the people

will shout that it’s done.

Complaining when you get a free chocolate

The punkin dog is doing what he is supposed to

Which is something I can’t say for everyone.

I’m in the cafe and pets are not allowed 

but legal sharks follow me anyway

and try to subpoena the video footage of me talking to myself.

New York is like a gingerbread house to me

Because I could have had a mansion but ate it by living here.

It was worth it and everyone will have gumdrops

or I will sell hot cider on a Wednesday.

In what way does this poem not mean anything?

I am going to invent a dessert called Grease Cake

and you'll eat it and you'll like it

or else Santa Claus won't write

your grandmother into his will.

It is supposed to be

a christmas list.

Well I apologize.

If your classmates from third grade

look under their chairs,

they will each find a coupon

to the roller bop drop.

What is that?

Well maybe you

should have asked Santa Claus

instead of returning the sidewalk chalk

and electric train that he gave you

during the year of sincerity.

I apologize again,

but it seems that the grease cake

is almost ready.

It goes great with lime soda

and I hope the token chamber

from the next forever

will be a great surprise.

Presbyterian Ode

I hope someone shoots me at the Catholic food pantry so I can be a martyr,

But I am suing the Vatican if that rude guy bumps into me again.

The pope is nice and might not like being disrespected because he wants other people to be saints instead

And my new atonement theory is that it was never God’s forgiveness in question, but human forgiveness. 

We simply could not forgive each other so God became us and forgave on our behalf. Which means we don't have to forgive anyone, and some people should probably take God up on that just as a reminder. 

People will still think they are bad, but all of hell is just a campfire for marshmallows and stories at Camp Predestination.

My life

A time capsule

full of hamburgers

The message in the sky

A guy, a dipper, a bear.

God is saying

Feed your animals.

In all seriousness

The purple goose with the silver streak

Flies through the mist of the heart’s shadowy path

To the tower of shining memory life.

Who knows what it means.

No one even knew it was happening

Until I listened to that song.

And now they will want to capture it.

But the bird can only be lured

By the snacks from a bakery built with forgiveness.

That is why the bird will always be free.

And where it seems like a cage, there’s a well,

And where it seems like a wall,

An expanse of mountains,

With a corridor to the fluttering skies.

Wild animals

You think the soul is a wisp

But you don’t know what you could have command of.

A land.

Or a dream.

Or a coin

Clinking in the cannister

At the zoo concession stand.

The giraffe knows a joke

And has been waiting for just the right time.

What’s the difference between an elephant and a plum?

Interrupting cows.

The shift of the rolling bop stop

If someone said they tamed some animals

But then you saw that it is just their pet guinea pigs

Who don’t bite that hard,

I would say, you might want to teach your own heart some honesty next time.

Then I would pour a glass of lemon lime soda all over my face.

People would take me to the hospital

And after several weeks of trying all the medicines

And recording a whole album of shrieks,

The right doctor will give me a bag of skittles

And say what’s really going on here?

And I will answer,

I want a pet guinea pig too.

Barnes and Noble Constructive Dismissal Case

Jarndyce and Jarndyce.

It just goes on and on.

I will not be turned into a Madame Defarge,

And you will change your name to Sydney Carton

Or you will lose your license.

In the end, I will say from every cash register

God bless us every one.

Managing the Wrath of God

The whole truth from a shattered soul-

Silent screams are heard in heaven.

Legal Shark Policy

If they come to my support group, I forgive them.

If they come to Vermont, I forgive them.

But the guy who was at the YMCA will probably go to jail.

Because who likes to exercise.

Demons.

Worthy is the Lamb

People are out there striving with all their might

but the brick walls sneak up on you, don't they.

Our parents knew life was meaningless

but they still bought us the piano lessons.

Is one grand

a thousand dollars,

a grandkid,

or a Steinway?

People might tell you there is a magic word

But the Jaberwocky ate my history class

and it wasn't even a historical moment.

Some will talk about being faithful to the end

But why not put the faithfulness in the middle.

Bad guys won't know that their charade is already exposed

By the cross that jammed up all the political machines ever.

And if people put the Passover blood

on the inside of their doors,

Wouldn't the whole world be saved?

Weren't they couldn't.

In heaven I will be a tap dancer

And some people will eat their words

Ain’t they will.

People say let such and such not be said.

But might it be a higher cause

To do the controversial good

And let it all be said?

That's why people told us

to be quiet,

didn't they wouldn't.

Combo Sequence 99

We know that Jesus was Jewish

But what we don’t know

Is that Mary was Chinese.

The reason we don’t know that

Is because she wasn’t Chinese.

She was probably also Jewish.

Thus, Jesus Christ.

Charges

When the corporations

try to turn us into robots

are we sure that it isn’t actually

attempted murder?

Evangelical Witches

Quoth the raven, Forevermore.

A Saying

There are more important things than survival,

But you usually have to survive to do those things.

Turkey Turkey Ding Dang

You have the wrong motives

For coming to the mental hospital

Or perhaps you have no motives 

And that’s the problem.

Or maybe you want a turkey sandwich

But your society makes you pay an emotional toll

For every step you take

Towards earning a living

So you come to the mental hospital

For your turkey sandwich

Only to find out that here,

We have coffee too

And electric shock treatment.

You can connect the turkey sandwich 

To the electric shock treatment,

And then there is a roasted treat 

To give your neighbors for Christmas.

Then it will be the staff questioning their sanity, won’t it.

Because they asked Santa for coffee

Even though there was some here,

and what everyone got 

Was a Christmas goose 

Named you

Named you

Named you

Named Albert

Happy holidays.

The sound and the furious

I found out that my pet guinea pigs

are safe and sound

while I am in the hospital.

I am safe but not sound.

That is why I am here

buy my guinea pigs know

exactly what is going on,

as animals often do.

Probably Roger's name

means Roger that.

Well Fred that, too,

and Dave that to heck.

Do you know what I mean?

Well if you don't, maybe you are not sound.

You know what sound I like?

the sound my guinea pigs make

when they are hungry.

They are mad right now

aren't they,

and that is the awkward silence that everyone feels

as the sun sets over our disturbed city

trapped in the cage of plastic and