Cancer We Are Not Amused

By Meryl Getline

Cancer We are not Amused is a story Meryl Getline wrote about her long journey with cancer. It is an inspiring story injected with humor.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Aug 28, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543979312

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 Meryl Getline

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced {except for inclusion in reviews} disseminated or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or in any information storage and retrieval system, or the Internet/World Wide Web without written permission from the author or publisher.

For more information about this title, please contact:

Al Carmickle

2159 Sage Grouse Lane

Colorado Springs, CO 80951 or

[e-mail]

Book design by:

Book Baby

[e-mail]

Meryl Getline

Cancer We are not Amused

Author 2. Title

Print ISBN: 978-1-54397-930-5

eBook ISBN: 978-1-54397-931-2

To order additional copies of Cancer, We are not Amused

Log into www. merylgetline.com

Contents

A Few Word from Others That Loved Her

Forward

Dedication

Introduction - Cancer! We Are Not Amused

The First Sign of Trouble

The Beginning of the End

Oblivious!

Another Shoe Drops

The Sad, Beaten Path

Complications

Fast Forward Just a Little

An Ugly Birthday Surprise

The Diagnosis

Day 1 A Day At The Spa

Day 3 Slumber Party

Day 5 Home Again

Day 6 Karaoke MRI

Day 7 The Garden Gnome

Day 9 Madame Gnome

Day 21 Nurses Al, Fluffy and Me

Day 22 The L.A.S.T. Club

Day 25 The Suicide Disease-Fun Facts

Day 27 The Hot And Sour Soup Challenge

Day 30 the Hunger Games

Day 36 Death Of The Ravenous Beast

Day 39 the Bat Cave

Day 46 The Good Doctors

Day 49 the Politician

Day 54 Oh the Irony

Day 58 Train Wreck

Day 63 My Friend Kathleen

Day 69 No News Is ….

Day 81 My Man Bennett

Day 88 Say It Ain’t So

Day 89 Special Update Fluffy

Day 93 The End

Day 155 And Now Folks

Day 156 Man With A Plan

Day 166 The Hot Mess

Day 168 Little Monsters

Day 170 Dead By Christmas

Day 173 A Cornucopia of Delights

Day 175 The $70.00 Whopper

Day 179 Reality Check

Day 181 Creatures Of The Swamp

Day 185 Drain That Swamp

Day187 The Good Life

Day 195 Finding Chemo

Day 203 And Then There Were Three

Day 208 A Knife In The Back

Day211 The Lighter Side

Day 215 Hong Kong Valentine’s

Day 220 The Zoo

Day 227 Labba Dabbva Doo!

Day 230 SCANdalous!

Day 235 Would You Believe

Day 237 Aw Nuts!!!

Day 243 Almost Normal

Day 249 The Combo Special, Please!

Day 255 Staying Alive

Day 257 Revenge Of The Creatures Of The Swamp

Day 262 Hurry Up And Wait

Day 269 On Location

Day 277 The Blink Of An Eye

Day 281 Easter Bunny News

Day 285 Slip Sliden’ Away

Day 288 The Fear Factor

Day 291 Cancer Party! Cancer Party!

Day 294 Scooby-Doo And The Pirates

Day 296 Hospice Fest

Day 299 The Clown At The Door

Day 302 Mothers Day

Day 303 The Enigmatic, Supreme Nurse Al

Day 305 I Saw Big Foot

Day 309 A Good Ribbing

Day 316 Cyclops

Day 322 The Doldrums

Day 324 The Port and the Pendulum

Day 329 Stark Naked

Day 333 The Scary Volunteers

Day 340 Lights Out

Acknowledgments

Cancer We Are Not Amused

Afterword

A Few Word from Others

That Loved Her

In my life, I’ve never met anyone like Meryl, and I have a strong feeling I never will. To simply say that she was an amazing woman would be an understatement and a misrepresentation of truly how wonderful she was. She had a sense of humor to spar with the best of them, a wit that never quit, and kindness and warmth that shone in her eyes and her voice when she was speaking with you. What’s more amazing is that she never lost an ounce of that fiery spirit throughout her arduous and tortuous battle with cancer. She maintained, through her email updates, a sense of humor that made me (and I assume many others) reflect on the way I handle difficult situations and see where I could become more like Meryl. In fact, ever since I first met Meryl and read her book The World at My Feet, I felt inspired to become more like her - adventurous, open, driven, and fearless. She will be remembered and cherished by so many, and I look forward to introducing her to my future children as we read her books together — you see, her voice is still here, in every word she wrote I can hear her as clear as can be. She had that indescribable something that drew people in to listen to what she had to say. Not only will her memory live on through her friends and loved ones, but her legacy will continue to inspire countless people. Meryl, I love and miss you.

Summer Preston

***

What a profound gift and inspiration Meryl’s life was to all who knew her. She was an exemplary person of quality, character, and light. Her fortitude these past few months far exceeded expectations as evidenced by her grace, humor, articulate writing, kindness, and supportiveness to others while enduring immense pain. She was a trailblazer for women and had the tenacity to look for the good and live! Her soaring spirit is immortal.

Lynn Payette

***

I wish I had more time to get to know Meryl better. We walked the Race to Cure Sarcoma in Denver together. I am so grateful she walked with me and shared her experiences. This year’s walk (Aug 2019) will be very lonely. I will have her name on my back again and she and Al and Fluffy will always be in my prayers. Her updates over her last months were difficult to read but her sense of humor amazing and uplifting. Rest in peace dear Meryl.

Kathleen

***

Meryl was a uniquely focused person. I always heard tales of her independence as a young pilot. Truly, her mother told Meryl that she could do anything she wanted to, and Meryl took that to heart. At the same time, she was sincerely welcoming, friendly, and open whenever I saw her. She traveled to visit her ailing brother, even helping with his business a bit. She cared for animals and often had a number of pets—rabbits, birds, dogs, even otters I miss hearing her voice now and wish we had spent more time together.

Irene Imfeld, sister-in-law

Forward

Patty Coyne and Ron McNurlen

I had a very unique and wonderful relationship with her considering the terrible thing that brought us together....pain!!!! We, unfortunately, had that in common.

We actually never met in person because she lived in Colorado, and I lived all the way in California, but she became one of my very very best friends. In the beginning, I asked her brother Lorin if he would add me to her Update List after I found out that we had some medical issues in common.

I was so impressed and even entertained by her strength and sense of humor that after receiving just a couple of her updates, I found myself writing to a complete stranger. Meryl wrote back almost immediately, and our rare and unique friendship began. We wrote back and forth, and it seemed like we found out nearly everything about each other.

Meryl was an absolutely fantastic person. She was smart, funny, and thoughtful she had so much love in her heart. She became such a bright spot in my life, and when anything good, bad, exciting, scary, hopeful, frustrating or just noteworthy would happen in my life, I would pick up my iPad to let her know. She became my sounding board. I valued her opinion because she was so insightful.

When it came to medical advice, she was my champion! One of my doctors had told me to accept that my pain was my Lot in Life. Meryl threw an absolute fit. I thought she was going to find a plane somehow, fly to California, track him down and read him the riot act! She was so fiercely loyal and cared so very much! I had to talk her down from that one!

I miss her so much. Meryl and I got to the point that we were writing so much that we actually made a pact that we were going to try to cut down on details to make our emails shorter. We both had to remind each other to keep it short. We would do well for a couple emails then fail miserably. It was useless. We would just ask too many questions and answer too completely.

She was the most fantastic pen-pal and friend. I am sure I am not the only person who feels that way. She made everybody feel special.

Meryl asked Al to send me her book, The World at My Feet about a week before she passed. I always knew she was terrific but reading the book let me get to know her on a whole other level. She was not only a bright spot in MY life....she was a bright spot in the world.

We have honestly lost an amazing, incredible, irreplaceable person, and the saddest thing is it could have been prevented. I was able to read the first two chapters of Cancer We are not Amused a few weeks before Meryl passed and we also wrote back and forth about how easily her situation could have been avoided if the first doctors she saw would have taken her concerns seriously and had ordered a biopsy right away. It is just so heartbreaking.

I hope this book will show people how important it is to follow your instincts and advocate for yourself. Unfortunately, doctors are not always right.

A couple of weeks before Meryl passed, we had a conversation about religion. Meryl was not religious in any way. We both decided that even though neither of us is religious, we don’t know FOR SURE that there is nothing out there after we leave this place. We thought that even though we don’t think there is anything....wouldn’t it be wonderful if we are wrong!!!! Well, I am really hoping we are wrong, Meryl!!! I am hoping you are somewhere having a fantastic time doing something you love....eating, swimming, flying...and all of it without any pain!!! I miss you so much my friend...and if we are wrong about it all I will see you again someday, and it will actually be face to face this time!!! Love Love Love to you, my sweet angel friend!

Patty 

Patty , Meryl and Fluffy The Best Pen Pal Buddies

What I want to say about Meryl. She was instrumental in changing my life! She had faith and trust in me when I had none. She believed in me when no one else would, which gave me the courage to make the lifestyle changes to become who I am today!

I could never repay her for what she did for me, but what I learned from her, I will pay it forward.

For the last fifteen years, I have been helping people in need without being judgmental and looking for the good in the people I work with.

She was the kindest person I have ever met and so humble, yet looking at what she accomplished in her life, most would give anything to be her for even just a minute.

What she gave my best friend Al could not be bought at any price, she made him happy.

Meryl was either not aware or too humble to acknowledge what she has done for this state. Through me, she has changed the lives of thousands of people who battle the disease of addiction. She taught me that people are good and want to help as she did for me.

Her humor was subtle yet hilarious as I’m sure everyone knows through her writing. Her writing made you feel as if you were there at the moment.

I could go on and on about Meryl because of who she was! I will end this with, I was truly blessed having her in my life and will always love and miss her!!!

Ron McNurlen

Dedication

My Mom and Dad, who inspired in me the strength I needed to meet this challenge with humor and dignity.

To all my faithful readers who joined me on this trauma-ride.

And especially to my nursing team - Nurse Al, Nurse Fluffy, Nurse Susie, and Nurse Banjo.

And of course to my current oncology care and hospice teams who helped me through to the end.

Introduction - Cancer!

We Are Not Amused

I retired as an airline pilot in 2005 and had my first cancer two years later. It came, it went, and didn’t resurface as a metastasized tumor until 2015.

That episode in 2015, including the excruciating surgical removal of a large mass near my left hip, came and went, but the brain tumor(s) that began in 2018 sort of acted like it went away after surgery and radiation, but instead dug in and made itself at home, inviting lots of friends, apparently. I don’t know what they have against me, but it’s obvious who’s in charge, and it isn’t my doctors, and it isn’t me. It’s THEM — the cancers. I can put on a brave face all I want, but the outcome is obvious and let’s just say — it’s looking great for Team Cancer and not so great for Team Meryl. Not that there isn’t room for a miracle, but that’s about all we’ve got left. As the title of the book says, WE ARE NOT AMUSED.

Not even a little.

It’s February 2019, and I am writing this, flat on my back in bed at home, with as many as fourteen malignant tumors from head to hips. They seem to be competing to see which one is actually going to kill me. My laptop is jammed up on my chest as I’m too weak, dizzy and just plain sick to sit at a desktop computer which, believe me, would be a lot easier.

I’ve decided I’m just not ready to check out quite yet and knowing I’m not really in control of anything, that continues to be my attitude. I’m not going to change who I am because of cancer, and I choose always to find humor if there is any to be found. I’ve discovered that there is almost always some to be found somewhere. Sometimes you just have to try harder than other times.

I have had a group of nearly 50 family and friends who I have been keeping informed with Updates. I send them out as needed, sometimes a few times per week and sometimes far less, depending on how I’m doing and what I’m doing, medically speaking. I always try to make them informative but light in tone, even funny sometimes (well, I at least think they’re funny).

There was Creatures of the Swamp (referring to my soaked bed due to night sweats from steroids), and Death of the Ravenous Beast (also referring to steroids and the backing off of the voracious appetite when I got off them). Karaoke MRI, tells how I handled so many MRI’s and having to lie so still for so long, so often. In this book, I have included some of the content, and some full Updates, which run less than a thousand words. I feel some are worth adding in their entirety.

So this is a story of my journey through cancer. The mistakes I made. The statistics doctors believed instead of me. The pain, the letters I wrote to let friends and family know what was going on, and what we could laugh about whenever possible.

The First Sign of Trouble

What a spectacular, sunny Colorado day! It was October 2007, and fall, my favorite time of year. I was headed out for a swim in the beautiful indoor pool complex at my health club. The Rocky Mountains were on my left and capped with pristine snow from a storm last night. They looked amazingly close in the clear Colorado autumn air. The sky was an impossibly deep blue — a true Colorado sky on a perfect day. I hummed to myself as I drove.

As was my habit while driving, I reached behind my neck with my left hand to give my neck a quick massage. As soon as I was done, I switched hands and reached behind with my right hand for another quick massage, but WHOA!! What was THAT?

There was a lump that felt like a golf ball buried just below my neck toward the right side of my upper back, with maybe two-thirds of it buried where I couldn’t feel it. How in the world did THAT get there? It couldn’t have been there too long as I did that massage thing almost every time I drove. I stopped at a small restaurant I had discovered just recently and ordered a grilled cheese sandwich. The humble grilled cheese sandwich is a gift to humanity, as far as I’m concerned. In a rare moment, my appetite faded, but I went anyway. I wanted another opinion, right now, and put aside any thought of embarrassment. I sat down, and when my server came over, I worked up my nerve, tugged my top down just a tiny bit in the back around my neck and asked her if she could see anything. She said, My GOD, what is THAT? You need to have that looked at! That’s pretty much what I was thinking. I called my Primary Care Physician from the health club and made an appointment for the very next day. That night, Google and I had about a three-hour date while I explored the possibilities. My lump matched the description of a lipoma. I didn’t know what a lipoma was, but about two seconds of research told me it was a big nothing-burger — a benign tumor made of fat tissue. It can sit for years and do nothing. It was, in theory, nothing to worry about. It turns out they’re relatively common. But there were a few significant differences in the characteristics of a lipoma compared to my own lump. You can apparently wiggle a lipoma, but my own lump wouldn’t budge. There was no wiggle to it at all. But what really got my attention was the size of it. It happened to be in an area near my neck that I touch, so it had to have grown very, very quickly for it to get that large without my noticing it was there.

Right then and there I had the unsettling notion it was some kind of cancer. But although I searched online for hours, I just couldn’t find anything that matched the description. Everything kept coming back to it being a lipoma, but I just didn’t think so. Well, I’d wait and see what the doctor had to say about it. Surely he would know what it was. The very next day, I visited my doctor. That’s a lipoma, no doubt about it. What about the fact it’s so big, and it doesn’t move when I try to wiggle it? Don’t lipomas do that? It doesn’t matter. I know a lipoma when I see it. If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a lipoma. I didn’t laugh. You can ignore it, have it removed, or have it removed down the road sometime.

"I feel like if I wait, I’ll be the Hunchback of Notre Dame in another few weeks. This thing is growing like crazy. I want it out now. I’ve read about lipomas, and I