Without a Doubt: The Osprey Series, #3

By Kaylie Kay

Is it possible to be a Vegas Girl and a mother?...

What happens in Sin City stays in Sin City, doesn't it? Or, does it pack itself into your already over-weight baggage and come flying straight home with you?

Just back at work after having a baby, Flight Attendant Amber can't wait to return to her champagne lifestyle and be back with her girls. After months of struggling as a single mother it's just what she needs. But something has changed in her absence, her friends have upped their game, and now the stakes are much higher… Can she really do what they do now that she has to look her daughter in the eye when she gets home?

And what about the men - are they really all the same? Do they all just want to buy her? Even the perfect Callum Sellars? She had already been wary of them after Phoebe's father, the root of all her troubles… the Airline Captain who she can't avoid forever...

With so much self-doubt and so little trust left, will Amber ever see that she is worthy of having it all, or will she let the opportunities that life offers her just pass her by?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kaylie Kay
• Release date: Aug 16, 2019
• ISBN: 9781087404783

Kaylie Kay

Kaylie Kay is a Flight Attendant of over two decades, who is using her wealth of experiences to write her books, The Osprey Series. Each book is based on a different Flight Attendant, and she blends humour with strong life lessons, and intriguing insights into the world of aviation. Based in Southampton, England, Kaylie is a busy mother and wife, using her ‘holidays’, as her family like to call her layovers, to write her books. She can be found in far flung destinations writing and gathering experiences for her novels. Like her characters, Kaylie's books travel, and her readers have been sending her photos of themselves reading The Osprey Series around the globe! Join the movement on Instagram @kayliekaywritesbooks

Book preview

Chapter 1

Amber lay perfectly still as he rolled over behind her, listening for his breathing to return to the steady rhythm that would tell her that he was asleep. She could feel the warmth coming from his body, and smell the alcohol that was still so present on his breath as he exhaled onto the back of her neck. Her head throbbed as she opened her eyes slowly, lifting the covers from her naked body and putting first one unsteady foot, and then the other, onto the cold marble floor. She moved as quickly and as quietly as she could, picking up her dress from the floor and pulling the tiny piece of material deftly over her head. Shoes in hand, she tiptoed towards the door.

His breathing was quieter now and she suspected that he was awake, but she was grateful for his silence, that he was letting her leave without any unnecessary dialogue. It was what it was after all, and they didn’t need to talk about it.

She opened the bedroom door, closing it gently behind her, and crept past the bodies that slept awkwardly on the sofas and the floor cushions around the huge room. Everything looked so different now to how it had just a few hours ago. The sunlight glared through the open shutters of the floor-to-ceiling windows that lined the back wall, showing up the lines drawn in the white powder that was spread across the top of the black grand piano. Empty champagne bottles stood unashamedly amongst the overflowing ashtrays, and open pizza boxes were strewn across the bar. She scanned the room, seeing no sign of her friends amongst the ten or so people that were there; perhaps they were in one of the other bedrooms whose doors were firmly shut around the outskirts of the suite, but she wasn’t about to start knocking on them. They would get back okay, exactly as she would.

Amber kept her head down, letting her long blonde hair cover her face, as she walked briskly through the casino towards the elevators just ten minutes later, glad to be back in her own hotel. She told herself that she didn’t really care that it was 9am and she was quite clearly still in last night’s clothes, it was Vegas after all, and she wouldn’t be the only one. She wondered if the people that glanced up at her from their slot machines had been there all night, or if they were up early, Vegas had something for everyone, from the night owls to the early risers. Her phone pinged as it connected automatically to the hotel Wi-Fi, and messages began to flash up on their WhatsApp group.

Everyone back okay?

I’m here, going to try and get some sleep.

Have you seen Amber and Tonya?

Left them at the party, they were busy ;)

Lots of emojis flashed across the screen showing their amusement and approval.

I’m back, Amber typed, just doing the walk of shame now

More emojis that made her laugh out loud.

So just Tonya unaccounted for?

Looks like it, she’ll be fine

Yes, Tonya would be fine, Amber agreed, she was a seasoned Vegas girl, and she had got herself home from parties just as wild as that one plenty of times before.

Okay girls, going to try and get a good sleep in before check out, Amber typed.

Good idea, I feel rough!

It’s gonna be a hard flight home

Yep, always!

They would get through it though, Amber thought positively, they always did. Or they had always used to before, but she hadn’t been here for eighteen months and a lot had changed since then, for her at least.

She closed the conversation and looked at the cherubic face on her screensaver. The innocent little face which melted her, that she knew loved her unconditionally even though it couldn’t talk yet. Amber had learned more about love in the nine months since Phoebe was born than she had known in a lifetime. She felt an unfamiliar feeling of shame as she walked into her hotel room, that she had let her down somehow, behaved badly. Had she really thought that she could walk straight back into her old life, still the exact same person that she had been before? Did she really think it would be so easy to leave her new life behind her without a second thought and carry on exactly as she used to?

I’m back. Tonya messaged, to everyone’s understated relief.

These were her girls, the ones who had her back, who threw her a baby shower and carried her through this past year, eased her loneliness. Phoebe’s dad had been very clear in his opinion that she should terminate the pregnancy, and it had been quite obvious that he would not be supporting her in any way. So her girls had, and she loved them for it. She had listened to them all talking about the trips she had been unable to go on, and had been so excited for this time, when she could be back with them. But she hadn’t expected these feelings, and she sank heavily onto her bed.

It will be fine, she thought. It’s my first trip back, I’m bound to be a bit out of sorts. She had nothing to feel bad about anyway, did she? She was still young, and blatantly single. Phoebe was safe at home with her grandmother, and Amber had to work to support them, and this was work. She took the roll of dollar bills out of her bag, counting them. $500. Yes, that was $500 on top of what she had earned for her real job, as a flight attendant, the job that brought her and her friends here.

She looked at the money, wondering for a moment if she shouldn’t have taken it. No, that would have been silly, she had to think of all of the things she could buy for Phoebe with it. But did it make her a hooker? Was that what it was for? Did she really believe that it was for her to spend on the roulette tables, as he had said it was? He had never watched her though, never made sure that she spent it all, just handed her a pile of chips, and judging by the suite and the party he had plenty more where that came from. As for sleeping with him, she had been so high that she would have done that anyway, he hadn’t needed to pay her, had he? Her friends had encouraged her to put them in her bag, and then to slip off to cash them in. They had mocked her hesitation, it seemed they had upped their games in her absence, and it wasn’t unusual for them to come home significantly better off. It used to be that a successful night was one where you didn’t have to pay for your drinks, she remembered nostalgically.

Amber put the money into her purse, and made a weak attempt to organise her things. The wakeup call would be coming in little more than four hours, and then she would need to pull herself together, step into her international flight attendant shoes, and put this trip behind her. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas after all, she thought firmly as she closed her blinds on Sin City and climbed into her bed.

Chapter 2

They all looked so different now in their smart navy uniforms, hair up and perfect makeup masking any signs of a hangover or tiredness. Amber walked through the casino towards her crew, and again people glanced up from their slot machines, but this time she knew they were judging her very differently. She smiled as she reached her girls, the four of them reunited, and they all exchanged knowing glances, but the presence of others that didn’t know the full story stopped them from talking about it.

‘Did you girls have a good night?’ Anna, the new girl, was smiling sweetly and looking at them. At just nineteen she hadn’t been old enough to go out with them, which was convenient as they didn’t let others into their group usually, not that they had told her their plans. It wasn’t that they were being mean, or judgemental as many thought, just that they were like family, they knew everything about each other, and nothing would ever get out of their circle. Like a sisterhood. It was easier to keep it just them, not have to look after anyone or watch what they said or did. Unfortunately, there had been times when people had taken offence at not being invited out, so now they just lied.

‘Yes, it was lovely thanks,’ smiled Michele. ‘Pretty quiet. How about you?’

‘Oh, it was great,’ Anna gushed. ‘Me and Josh took the helicopter down to the Grand Canyon.’ Josh, the sweet lad who had been working up the front, turned around and smiled when he heard his name.

‘Oh lovely,’ Amber replied. ‘I really want to do that, maybe next time.’ She looked at her friends who all wore the same expression, telling her that she really wouldn’t be doing it next time at all. No, things would never change here, not in the foreseeable future anyway. They were The Vegas Girls, and Vegas girls didn’t do sightseeing like common tourists!

‘Girls, I haven’t seen any of you all trip, where the heavens have you been?’

It was the flight manager, Edwina, glasses perched on the end of her nose. Amber was pretty sure they had been keeping very different hours.

‘Just shopping, Edwina, we all just needed a relaxing one this trip, Amber’s only just back from maternity,’ Sancha said in her most sensible, caring tone. Amber stifled the laugh that threatened as she remembered her and Carly dancing on the grand piano only that morning.

‘Oh fair enough, well at least you’ll all be rested then, it’s full going home.’

They all smiled and nodded, eyes fixed wide to hide their lies, but inside Amber cried, and she knew her friends did too.

‘Oh that’s fine, it will go quickly,’ said Tonya, her smile dropping along with her entire face and body the moment Edwina turned around. Anna was still grinning at them though, still oblivious to how much of an outsider she was to their group and to the falseness of their words.

‘Bus is here,’ the captain called as he walked past them with his case. Amber looked at the faces that she had forgotten since their arrival two nights ago, trying to recall their names. Michele’s finger poking her rib made her jump, and she turned quickly to see her friend’s shocked face as she focused on someone close to the door that they were about to exit through. Amber couldn’t make him out for a second, walking closer to see who it was. Her body stopped involuntarily for a nanosecond when she recognised him, before she forced it to keep moving, putting her head down quickly and manoeuvring herself behind one of her crew. Had he seen her? Would he even recognise her now with all of these clothes on and her hair scraped back from her face? She walked quickly, overtaking her colleagues, dropping her bag at the back of the bus and practically running around the side to get in the door.

Safe in her seat behind the blacked-out window she took a deep breath; that had been close. What if he had recognised her? What would she have said to him? Did he want his money back? She looked back at the hotel and saw Tonya walking quickly through the door, way behind the others, with an amused smile on her face. The smile was still there as she walked up the steps onto the bus and sat casually down next to her. She didn’t even look at her as she handed her a business card. Amber took it cautiously, looking at the gold writing on the black paper.

Callum Sellers

CEO

CS Engineering Ltd

Amber turned it over, studying the email address and London telephone number. Tonya was still staring straight ahead, pursed lips turned up in a smile at the corners. Amber looked from the card to her friend and back again, wondering what had been said. As the bus pulled away she turned to see him standing on the hotel steps. He looked pale in the early evening light, a testament to the night before no doubt, but she recognised the athletic body, the messy thick dark hair and the piercing blue eyes that had drawn her to him. Even now in his casual shorts and T-shirt she was relieved that she found him attractive; yes he was a little older, she being only twenty-five and him maybe mid-thirties, but he was exactly her type. It reinforced her conviction about the money... yes, she would have slept with him anyway!

‘Call him,’ Tonya said, now that they were finally alone and able to talk as they walked through the airport.

‘No way,’ Amber replied without hesitation. She had no room in her life right now for the complications of a man, and especially one that thought money bought you everything. Phoebe’s dad had taught her that men with money generally thought they were better than you, cleverer, and that having money bought them the right to do what they liked. No, when she was ready to be with someone again it would be someone simple, a hardworking man with a heart of gold, that was what she wanted, and she wasn’t for persuading otherwise.

‘Mate, he came to the hotel to find you, he really wants to see you again.’

Amber knew Tonya thought she was mad, that she believed this guy was possibly the exception, but she had been that naive once too, and wouldn’t be again.

‘No, hun, sorry to disappoint you, but he’s not for me. Here,’ she held out the card between two fingers, ‘you call him. I don’t suppose he would care which one of us called as long as he got something out of it.’

Tonya shooed the card away with her hand and sighed. Amber had just crushed her romantic fairy-tale vision, the one that she had once had herself. She dropped the card into the trash can as they turned into their departure gate. Now back amongst the crew the conversation was over, Amber wasn’t for persuading, and she knew Tonya knew that too. But it hadn’t all been a waste of time, she still had the money, and now that she was sure it wasn’t just for sex it wasn’t as tainted, and she smiled.

––––––––

Amber looked down out of her window at the lights of Las Vegas as they took off for home. She could just about make out the huge resorts that lined The Strip, the beam of light that shone up from the Luxor, down to the tower of the Stratosphere, all looking so small now. The huge city that most people were so unaware of sprawled out towards the mountains, lit up in the darkness. She marvelled at how to most of the world the perception of Las Vegas was just such a tiny part of the real place. She listened to Anna, who sat on the jump seat opposite to her across the galley telling her all about her helicopter trip, and found herself actually wishing that she could do it. Yes, she would always love to party in Vegas, but there was more to life, Phoebe had shown her that. Ah Phoebe, she thought of her little bundle of joy that was waiting for her and wished away the next nine hours.

Chapter 3

Never had the hard mattress of her crew bunk been so comfortable, Amber thought as she lay down. How she had managed to get through the service was a mystery to her, but she had, and now her reward was two hours’ rest, and jeez, did she need it. The others didn’t seem to be suffering half as much as she was, but their body clocks were still in that limbo which long haul flying kept them in. Hers, however, was firmly in a routine now after so long on the ground, and she was really struggling tonight. The gentle rocking motion of the plane soon had her off to sleep, until it wasn’t so gentle anymore and the seat belt signs pinged on as she reached out to hold on to something. The sound of seatbelts fastening in the dark room told her she wasn’t the only one who hadn’t had hers done up, despite the rules. For what seemed like an age the plane struggled with the invisible bumps, and the narrow tail of the Boeing 747 in which they slept seemed to wag as if it were attached to an excited dog.

Sleep was impossible, and Amber felt worse than she had done before her break when she came back down. The cabin was still dark, and she shone her torch at the floor to navigate her way through the limbs that stretched into the aisles. She looked around at the groups of men that she knew would have been so excited for their holiday just days ago, remembering the ones from her own flight over and their endless drinks requests. They seemed to be in comas now though, mouths open and the sounds of snoring competing with the engines. Yes, Vegas had beaten them too.

In the galley she made herself a coffee and opened the crew cart, searching for something full of sugar. She would feel better soon, she told herself, drawing comfort that she had always survived the night flights and more recently the sleepless nights of motherhood.

‘You’re up early.’ Edwina walked into the galley.

‘It’s so rocky up there,’ Amber moaned.

‘I know,’ Edwina agreed. ‘Half way home, honey, and back to that baby of yours.’

Just the mention of Phoebe made Amber smile.

‘Is she with her dad?’

‘No.’ Amber shook her head. ‘He’s not around. She’s with my mum.’

‘Oh.’ Edwina looked surprised.

‘He was never around,’ Amber said. She sensed Edwina’s confusion, how the father had left so early on, surely it would take a bit longer than Phoebe’s short life to end a relationship? At least, that’s was what she presumed her manager was thinking, it was only natural. ‘No, he was very clear he didn’t want a baby, so I did it on my own. It’s just us now.’

‘That’s very brave of you,’ Edwina said kindly, and Amber noticed that she was mindlessly twisting her wedding ring, probably grateful that she had had better luck.

‘I’m not sure about brave, maybe stupid, but I wouldn’t change it,’ Amber smiled.

‘Does he see her at all?’

‘No, nor does he pay anything.’ Amber rolled her eyes.

‘Sweetheart, that’s not okay, he should support his daughter, whether he wanted her or not!’ Edwina’s elevated tone told Amber that she had strong feelings on the subject.

‘Maybe.’ It wasn’t that Amber hadn’t thought about it, but it was just another battle to have, and she wasn’t ready for it yet. Meanwhile, he sat in his estate in the South of France sipping his French wine, with his French tart no doubt, without a care in the world. She felt the anger that she did so well to ignore start to surface and pushed it back down; nothing could be done right here and now so it was pointless even thinking about it.

‘Don’t let him get away with it, you hear me.’ Edwina touched her arm and looked seriously at her. ‘I was a single mum too once, and I know what a struggle it is.’

With that she was gone, leaving a surprised Amber with her thoughts. No, she wouldn’t just let him get away with it, one day soon she would be ready to challenge him. She was getting back to her old self slowly, and could see through the baby fog now, she wouldn’t leave it forever. Anyway, now that she was back at work there was always the risk of bumping into him, being that he was a captain for the airline, and she couldn’t bear for him to look down on her again, like he had the last time she had seen him. No, she would never let him look at her like that again.

The four girls hugged goodbye in the car park as a plane roared over their heads.

‘Same time next month then!’ Tonya said, referring to the next Vegas that they had all requested. She would be driving back to Manchester now, and Sancha to Kent, whilst the