Just Add Water

By Hunter Shea

GROW AMAZING LIVE SEA SERPENTS!

It’s fun! It’s easy! They only cost a measly dollar. Just clip out the ad in your comic book. Then ask Mom to mail it in. A few weeks later, receive a packet of instant Sea Serpent dust. Then:

Just add water . . . and watch them grow!

WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Just ask David and Patrick. Their “instant pets” are instant duds. They don’t hatch, they don’t grow, they don’t do anything. So they dump them into the sewer where Dad pours toxic chemicals . . .

WAIT UNTIL FEEDING TIME.

It’s been years since David and Patrick thought about those Sea Serpents. But now, small animals are disappearing in the neighborhood. Strange slimy creatures are rising from the sewers. And once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re enormous . . . and have a ravenous hunger for human flesh . . .

Praise for Hunter Shea

“Old school horror.” —Jonathan Maberry

“A lot of splattery fun.” —Publishers Weekly

“Frightening, gripping.” —Night Owl Reviews

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lyrical Press
• Release date: Jun 13, 2017
• ISBN: 9781516102792

Hunter Shea

Hunter Shea is the product of a misspent childhood watching scary movies, reading forbidden books and wishing Bigfoot was real. He’s the author of over 17 books, including 'The Jersey Devil' and 'We Are Always Watching'. Hunter’s novels can even be found on display at the International Cryptozoology Museum.

Book preview

Samantha

Chapter One

Tuckerville, NY, 1980

When everything was said and done and the dead were long buried, they would blame Wonder Woman.

While everyone else collected Star Wars (the red, yellow, blue and green series) and baseball cards, Patrick Richards and David Estrada plunked every hard-earned nickel they had on comic books. Oh, and there were also the protective plastic bags they had to buy to keep each issue as pristine as possible.

Their habit was expensive, but the thirteen-year-old best friends found ways to scrape together enough money every month to buy the latest issues of The Fantastic Four, Captain America, The Flash, Marvel Two-In-One (featuring The Thing and a different guest hero each issue), Green Arrow and too many others to count. Well, they could count them. In fact, each could rattle off the total number of comics in their collections at a moment’s notice.

Three hundred and twenty-five, Patrick would say.

Four hundred and two, David would say, showing off just a bit.

Patrick had a paper route while David mowed lawns for the older people in the neighborhood. Sometimes, they would wait outside the Shopwell supermarket, offering to load people’s bags into their cars for tips. An afternoon at Shopwell could net them enough scratch to buy four or more comics.

And there was always shoveling to be done in the winter, along with raking leaves in the fall.

When you had a comic addiction, you had to find ways to feed the beast.

They found themselves in late May flush with cash, thanks to a visit from Patrick’s grandparents. His grandfather had slipped a twenty-dollar bill into Patrick’s pocket, whispering in his ear, Don’t tell your parents. That’s comic book money. Get enough to last the summer.

You’re really gonna share? David said, staring at the twenty on the floor between them.

It’s not like we don’t read the same comics, Patrick said. The deal is, I get to add more to my collection. Say we split it seventy–thirty?

David smiled. I’ll take it.

They shook and it was done.

The four-block ride to Blackburn’s stationery store had them both in a sweat. Summer had come early. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the sun was downright brutal. Popping tandem wheelies, they leaped off their bikes at the entrance, both riderless Huffys crashing to the ground in a tangle of metal and rubber.

Blackburn’s kept the comics in a long rectangular box on the floor under the magazine rack. The boys got on their knees, carefully rifling through the upright stack.

We have everything, David said, deflating. His short-cut black hair glistened with drops of sweat.

Almost, Patrick said, plucking a Wonder Woman free. His own face was flushed, bringing the cluster of freckles on his cheeks to blazing prominence.

David considered it, then shrugged his shoulders.

It’s better than nothing.

They paid forty cents for the issue, getting a ton of change that somehow made it seem like they had more money than when they had started. The boys jumped back on their bikes and pedaled home, anxious to get back to David’s room because it had an air conditioner.

David read along with Patrick, just over his shoulder. Neither was a Wonder Woman aficionado, but neither could argue against the fact that she had one sexy bod.

Sexy for a comic book character. Not as hot as, say, Mrs. Pendleton, freshly divorced and constantly on the prowl. The boys appreciated how difficult she made it for any straight male to not stare at her bulging rack or curvy hips.

They were done in five minutes, the air from the AC making the pages of the comic flutter.

Well, that was exciting, David said, rolling onto his back.

It would have made more sense if we had read the previous two issues. Patrick flipped through it again. They’d decided they weren’t going to preserve this one. Wonder Woman just didn’t make the cut for the special-bag treatment.

He perused the endless ads for gag gifts, magic kits, body building guides and footlockers filled with a thousand army men.

His eyes paused on the all too familiar ad for the Amazing Sea Serpents! In the ad, a smiling family of creatures that looked like a cross between mermaids and anacondas, with almost human faces, waved back at him from the comfort of their underwater city.

Sea serpents make the ultimate pet! No mess! Low maintenance! Just add water and let the fun begin!

Patrick had always wanted to order the Amazing Sea Serpents, but his parents absolutely forbid him from, in their words, wasting his money on worthless junk.

All that stuff is a scam, his father had once said. When I was a kid, I ordered what was supposed to be a working rocket that could break the atmosphere. What I got was a balsa wood stick and a big rubber band.

But that was then, in the old days.

There were laws and stuff now about scams like that. If it was in a comic book, it had to be tested and approved. Stan Lee would never pull one over their eyes. Excelsior!

We should order the Amazing Sea Serpents, Patrick said.

David had his eyes closed, his hands clasped behind his head. Huh?

They only cost $4.95. You get the serpents, their tank and everything.

Now David sat up. He’d wanted his own for a long time, too, but his parents felt the same way about the whole business as Patrick’s.

We have the money, Patrick said. And even after that, we’ll still have fourteen bucks for the new comics when they come in.

What about our parents?

We don’t have to tell them. It says it takes six weeks for delivery. It’ll be summer vacation by then. My mom and dad will be at work by eight every morning. I’ll be the only one home when the serpents come in the mail. We can set them up in your basement.

David’s basement had been a downstairs apartment until the tenants had moved out months earlier. Until his family found new ones, the place was all theirs. Most of the time, they just read comics on the overstuffed couch that had been left behind, eating from brown bags filled with chewy Swedish fish.

I’ll get an envelope, David said, running to the dining room.

Patrick found a pair of scissors and cut the ad out. He would never take scissors to X-Men or Spider-Man.

At least this way, Wonder Woman was serving a noble purpose.

He filled out the order form and David sealed it in the envelope along with a five-dollar bill, licking the stamp. They were going to be out a nickel, but what did it matter?

"I can’t wait to see what they

Reviews for Just Add Water

[veronica.sparrow · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I always know I am in for a treat when I pick up one of Hunter Shea's books. "Just Add Water" was exactly what I expected. David and Patrick are two typical young boys who decide to buy one of those "just add water and see creatures grow" ads. It turns out to be a fake product so they decide to just dump it into the sewer. Wait a minute! Those eggs were not lemons at all but were glorious Sea Serpents. Well maybe not glorious but very hungry sea serpents. Now the boys in the race of their life as they try to fix the horror they have brought upon their town.This book brought back memories of the ads I used to see about growing unusual creatures in your own home at a low price which were usually aimed at children. I found the book to have a tongue in cheek humor with a pinch of campy horror which suited the book very well considering the story line. It was a fast-paced and fun read.Highly recommended. I received a copy of this book from Kensington Books/Lyrical Underground via Netgalley for free in exchange for an honest review.

[misspider-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

When I first saw the cover, I had a strange feeling of déjà vu, as it looks just so similar to the cover of a book I've only recently read titled 'Keep in a Cold, Dark Place'.But let's get back to 'Just Add Water' and its nasty and very deadly variation of the gremlin theme. Ever heard of those little sea serpents (maybe better known as sea monkeys)? You get an envelope with little flaky stuff which you put in water to grow some little fish-like creatures? I remember them being advertised in the YPS magazine when I was young, and how I loved their funny looks (no, sadly I never actually had some myself). Well, if you know what I'm talking about, you may reconsider reading this book, as it will shatter your cute memories to pieces and reassemble them into a nightmare...The author wastes little time on the introduction, but goes straight to the core and gore of it. This would make an awesome B-movie, with lots of screaming and blood-splattering and just a little humor to lighten the mood. A fast read which fits the pace of this highly entertaining story perfectly. Got to go now - see if those sea monkeys are still available somewhere...(Thanks to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for a copy of the book, all opinions are my own)

[lesleydawn · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Super fun creature feature! It's fast paced, with lost of gore and death. Perfect for a relaxing afternoon.

[montzaleew · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Just Add Water (Mail Order Massacres) by Hunter Shea is a fun retro horror short story. At first I thought this would be a horror book for middle grade kids until I got further into it and I hit a couple of paragraphs that certainly would not be suited for kids. Then came some graphic gore, then I realized it was not a mistake, it was an adult horror and I was the one mistaken. Imagine that? I think without the couple of paragraphs and tone down the gore, it would be a great middle grade kids book too. But due to that little bit extra, it certainly is an adult book and a good one too. Great characters, some predictable suspense but fun, an enjoyable plot, great bits of humor thrown in, and pretty good for a short story. It is set in the 1980's around a couple of 13 year old boys, their comic books, baseball, and this misadventure. I am thankful to NetGalley and the publisher to allow me to read this fun book.

[irenecole · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was a quick, creepy read that once again takes my mind back to classic 80s horror, and I loved it. Having previously read The Jersey Devil by the same author I was hopeful that Just Add Water would be a ridiculous amount of fun to read, and I was not disappointed.

I still remember all those ads in comics and magazines for "sea monkeys" (which were total duds by the way) that showed fantastic tiny sea families frolicking in their little cities. Apparently Hunter Shea remembers them too. Here we have not sea monkeys but sea serpents that will hatch with very little care.. just add water. Of course it doesn't work out that way at all and soon the neighborhood is over run with vicious hungry monsters that eat everything in sight.
I received an advance copy for review.

[booknookretreat7 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow! What a fun action packed gory ride!

When you were a kid any kind of pets would make you happy, right? Maybe even "sea serpents" for pets?

A little backstory:

David and Patrick saw an advertisement on the back of a comic book where they could order sea serpents along with a tank and have them as pets. So they ordered it and waited for the package to arrive. They did not tell their parents as they knew their parents would not approve, so they kept it a secret.

When the package arrives the boys were disappointed as it wasn't what they thought and when they opened it they realized it was too much trouble as they had to not only water the sea serpents to make them grow they were also going to have to feed them. The boys found out that it was a waste of money, so they decided to throw the whole thing down in the sewer outside on the street to get rid of it.

What they didn't know was throwing it in the sewer was the worst thing they could have done as since the sea serpents thrived in water it became the perfect breeding ground for them. When the sea serpents became hungry they wanted more than what was running around in the sewer system and they decided to venture out of the sewer in search of better food: Humans. The town topside is full of them and that becomes their buffet.

This book was a wild ride of horror, blood, and gore!

No one is safe from these creatures as they run rampant through the town! Even though this was a short story it packs a bloody punch and as with any Hunter Shea book, you are going to be captivated by the action within as the author lets the creatures in his mind run free and lets them cause destruction within the story! I read this book within a day and I couldn't hardly put it down! Five stars for entertaining action and bloody fun!