Ebook96 pages1 hour
Money Back Guarantee
By Hunter Shea
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
()
About this ebook
YOUR MONEY BACK OR YOUR LIFE . . .
Protect America’s shores with your very own nuclear submarine! Constructed from durable fiberboard material, this submersible is large enough for two kids! Sail off into imaginative international intrigue for just $1.99! If this toy doesn’t float your boat, return it for a full refund!
With her son’s heart set on piloting his own nuclear submarine, Rosemary Lanchester orders the craft advertised on the back of a comic book. What arrives is more sub-standard than submarine, but her son loves the cheap piece of cardboard. Until he and a friend nearly drown when they take the sub for a deep sea dive in the swimming pool.
Enraged, Rosemary reports the toy’s manufacturer to the Better Business Bureau. The company’s customer service center retaliates with threatening phone calls. Then her son and husband mysteriously disappear.
To save her family, Rosemary tracks down the company’s headquarters with the help of her brother—a survivalist with enough toys of his own to wage an all-out war.
And she still wants her $1.99 refunded.
Praise for Hunter Shea
“Old school horror.”—Jonathan Maberry
“A lot of splattery fun.”—Publishers Weekly
Protect America’s shores with your very own nuclear submarine! Constructed from durable fiberboard material, this submersible is large enough for two kids! Sail off into imaginative international intrigue for just $1.99! If this toy doesn’t float your boat, return it for a full refund!
With her son’s heart set on piloting his own nuclear submarine, Rosemary Lanchester orders the craft advertised on the back of a comic book. What arrives is more sub-standard than submarine, but her son loves the cheap piece of cardboard. Until he and a friend nearly drown when they take the sub for a deep sea dive in the swimming pool.
Enraged, Rosemary reports the toy’s manufacturer to the Better Business Bureau. The company’s customer service center retaliates with threatening phone calls. Then her son and husband mysteriously disappear.
To save her family, Rosemary tracks down the company’s headquarters with the help of her brother—a survivalist with enough toys of his own to wage an all-out war.
And she still wants her $1.99 refunded.
Praise for Hunter Shea
“Old school horror.”—Jonathan Maberry
“A lot of splattery fun.”—Publishers Weekly
Author
Hunter Shea
Hunter Shea is the product of a misspent childhood watching scary movies, reading forbidden books and wishing Bigfoot was real. He’s the author of over 17 books, including 'The Jersey Devil' and 'We Are Always Watching'. Hunter’s novels can even be found on display at the International Cryptozoology Museum.
Read more from Hunter Shea
The Montauk Monster Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tortures of the Damned Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Jersey Devil Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Creature Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Slash Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Faithless Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMisfits Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Related to Money Back Guarantee
Titles in the series (4)
Just Add Water Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Optical Delusion Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Money Back Guarantee Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mail Order Massacres Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
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Reviews for Money Back Guarantee
Rating: 4.444444444444445 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
9 ratings2 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The latest installment in the Mail Order massacres series is a total blast (quite literally)! This time, the story is about a mail-ordered submarine, which turns out to be nothing more than a large piece of cardboard. When her son almost drowns on his undersea adventure in his friend's swimming pool, Rosemary Lanchester is determined to get her money back. But it seems the address of AdventureCo, the company who sold the crap toy, does not exist. Then the anonymous phone calls start, insulting Rosemary and threatening her family. When her husband and son disappear, Rosemary is determined to get them back and give AdventureCo not only a piece of her mind, but some bullets as well...There were several scenes, especially at the beginning of the story, that reminded me of my own son, e.g. the enthusiasm with which Dwight played with the submarine. Where his parents saw only a cheap piece of cardboard, Dwight was not disappointed, but thrilled to have his own submarine and with his imagination made it come to life. Also, the deep disappointment when the submarine was ruined by the water, and before that the naive believe that it should have been able to swim at all. Or Dwight's outburst of anger towards Rosemary when she decides to trash the replacement sub instead of letting him play with it because she thinks it's such a dangerous fraud. While I'm not so sure I would have acted the same way, I totally agree with her determination to protect her son at all costs.The last part of the story is a satisfying action- and bullet-packed roller coaster of a showdown, though it ended with a mean little twist.Afterthought: I wonder whether Dwight got a look at the mysterious man but maybe was better capable to deal with it because of his still unlimited childish imagination.A great story and hopefully not the last in this spectacular series.(Thanks to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for a copy of the book, all opinions are my own)
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Not to nitpick but my obsessive compulsive nature requires that I state that the money back guarantee was for 5 dollars, not $1.99
Having previously read Optical Delusion and Just Add Water by Hunter Shea I was anxiously awaiting this third installment, and as much as I enjoyed both of those, this is by far my favorite adventure into the horrors of mail order shopping.
Set in the 1980s and steeped in all it's glorious culture of Tupperware parties this fast paced horror takes what should be a mundane ordinary experience and turns it into something horrifying.
Against her better judgment, Rosemary allows herself to be talked into purchasing a toy from an advertisement in the back of a comic book for her son Dwight. Naturally, when it finally arrives it's a piece of junk. When Dwight and his friend nearly drown while playing, Rosemary has quite literally a hell of time trying to track down the elusive "AdventureCo" manufacturer that nobody has ever heard of. Unfortunately for Rosemary, AdventureCO has heard of her, and they do not like complaints.
I received an advance copy for review.
Book preview
Money Back Guarantee - Hunter Shea
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