The Nocturnal Millionaire

By Gregg Winston

Coasting through life is a skill, one which Jonathan Blazer and Sheriff Wells have mastered. Best friends for years, they prefer to play racquetball or plan their next ski trip rather than go to class. But attending college is one of those things that is expected of them, so they go through the motions together. They are an immature duo, lacking direction and always in search of a good time. An incredible stroke of luck changes their lives, but it’s the aftermath, a confluence of conflict, life experience and new friendships, that brings out their true character, allowing them to discover their place in the world.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gregg Winston
• Release date: Sep 1, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370793709

Book preview

Chapter One

Late spring semester, Junior Year.

Stop bouncing your leg like that! You’re shaking the table.

I can’t help it, replied Sheriff. I have Restless Leg Syndrome.

You do not, countered Blaze. That’s not even a thing.

It is too! I read about it.

Where?

On a website.

A reputable one?

Yourenotdying.com.

Sounds like a legit source of medical information.

It says it can come on at any time. Maybe I’ve had it my whole life, but it’s been under control, until today.

It’s nerves. I get it. You’re freaking out. So am I.

How long do you think this is going to take?

I don’t know. As long as they come to the right decision, they can take as much time as they want.

The air in the room was tense. One would think a hearing in a campus courtroom wouldn’t hold the same magnitude as a normal court of law. But this wasn’t a typical hearing. There was much riding on the impending decision. With so much at stake, a more formal legal proceeding was probably warranted. But it was the only recourse the boys thought to follow.

Like most decisions, there would be both a winner and a loser. In this case, a very big winner, and a very big loser. With exception of Sheriff’s leg bouncing in the neighborhood of three hundred times per minute, the two sat motionless, staring blankly at the front of the room. The campus Board of Directors, led by the Dean of Students, would act as judge and jury for this issue, and they were presently in another room deliberating.

Nice tie, by the way, commented Sheriff.

You like it? My dad gave it to me a couple of years ago when I had an interview for a summer job.

It’s sharp, man. You look good.

Thanks. You clean up pretty well yourself.

How long do you think this is going to take?

You asked me that already. I don’t know.

You know this is bullshit.

I do. I agree one hundred percent.

If they rule against us, I’m gonna freak out.

You may want to try to maintain your cool, added Blaze, as he pointed towards the two security guards standing at the front podium. We’re already on probation.

What? That was last year. The clock starts over with each new semester.

It doesn’t fall off.

What do you mean it doesn’t fall off?

Probation stays with you until you graduate.

How do you know?

It’s in the Student Code of Conduct handbook. You should read it sometime.

I’ll add it to my summer reading list.

I’m just saying… If you go insane, it’s quite possible they’ll count that as another event, and possibly kick you out of school.

Well, if they rule against us, I don’t think I could step foot on this school’s property ever again, anyway.

You know what? We need to stop with the negativity. You and I both know what they did, and we’re in the right. We have to manifest positive vibes in the universe. This is all going to work out.

Sheriff wanted to respond, but he couldn’t. He went into silent mode. He was in shock at the myriad of events that got them to this exact point in time.

A half hour later, the four Board members walked in, one by one. They all sat on one side of a table, facing the boys.

Gentlemen, please rise and approach the bench. The Board has heard your case and we are now prepared to make our ruling.

This is it, whispered Blaze. Manifest positivity. We got this.

Mr. Jonathan Blazer and Mr. Sheriff Wells, we’d first like to thank you both for handling this like responsible young men. This is certainly an unusual circumstance, and we appreciate you following campus protocol and escalating this to our attention. Do you have any final comments before we render our decision?

No sir. We’ve shared our case, and we’re certain that once all the details came to light, you would be able to decide appropriately. Thank you for allowing us to share those details.

The following short statement is unanimous amongst all Board members. We have consulted with legal counsel and have determined the school did not act illegally, hence we rule in favor of Cayuga College. Thank you for your time, gentlemen.

The Board members got up to depart as quick as they could to avoid an additional confrontation with the defendants.

I’m sorry, replied Blaze. What did you say? You find in favor of the school!? Are you serious!? We told you how it all went down!

Security approached the Board members to protect them and allow safe passage out of the room.

Hey! This is bullshit and you know it! he shouted, as they continued to depart.

Most of the Board had exited, with exception of the Dean of Students. And before the Dean could leave, Blaze and Sheriff both jumped over their desk and stood in front of him to prevent his departure.

You’re telling me this was unanimous?!

It was. If you’ll excuse me, Mr. Blazer…

Blaze quickly came to the realization that any future argument would be futile and threw a punch that dropped the Dean like a sack of potatoes. It took no more than three seconds for security to tackle him and his roommate, and they were both arrested for assault.

Chapter Two

The two found themselves in a holding cell down at the local police station, waiting to be processed.

These bars are cold.

What?

This room is made of steel bars. They’re really cold. And what’s up with that bench? My butt is killing me from sitting on it.

I’m sure prisoner comfort wasn’t high on the list of priorities when designing this place.

Blaze pressed his face between two steel bars on the jail door and looked blankly at the lobby.

Blaze was the nickname that was bestowed upon him by his best friend. Most thought it was an abbreviation of his last name, Blazer. And Jon preferred everyone to think that. The reality was, and very few people knew, his nickname was born around the same time he had a cooking mishap in his kitchen during high school. Jon downplayed the episode and referred to it as a minor flare-up. In reality, it caused enough damage that the Blazers had to file a homeowner’s insurance claim to repair it. It was a bump in the road of life that he wasn’t proud of. Spending the night in jail was another.

Never in a million years did I think I would ever know what it feels like to be in jail. This sucks.

That’s an understatement.

My folks are gonna go ballistic.

Mine too.

They had such high hopes on seeing me graduate from college. Now I’ll probably just be serving them fries for the rest of my life.

Make sure to wear that tie. At least you’ll look good doing it.

Blaze smiled. You like the tie?

I do. It’s a rockin’ tie.

Sorry I lost my cool back there.

Hey, if it wasn’t you, it was bound to be me.

Yeah, but I just gave you that whole speech about probation, blah blah blah. I don’t know what came over me. It was like something just clicked and I lost it.

Like the Hulk, only without the cool shade of green.

So, what’s our next move?

I don’t know that we have one. They screwed us, we appealed, and they screwed us again. I guess the next step is just to finish out the semester. It’s only a couple of more weeks. Maybe once it’s done, we’ll have a chance to clear our minds and decompress. Maybe there’s another angle we just haven’t thought of yet.

Maybe.

The two sat in the tiny cell for eight hours, waiting to see how the charges were going to unfold. Just after midnight, the sergeant approached and unlocked the cell door.

Blazer. Wells. You’re free to go.

What? asked Sheriff. Free to go where?

The school has decided not to press charges, answered the officer.

Did they say why?

Dude, who the fuck cares why, added Blaze. Let’s bolt before anyone changes their minds. Thank you, officer, he added, as they both made tracks for the front door.

We dodged a bullet there. Come on, let’s head downtown and drown our sorrows. I’ll buy the first round, said Sheriff.

You know what? This has been a crazy roller coaster of a day. I think I’m gonna head home. I can use a little family time.

You sure?

Yeah. There’s something about my mom’s home-cooked meals that puts me at peace. Have a drink for me. I’ll catch up with you next week.

Later, brother.

Chapter Three

Six months earlier. Fall semester, Junior Year.

What was the first horror film you ever saw?

Sheriff and Blaze had snuck into the campus ice rink at midnight and made themselves comfortable in the school’s Zamboni with a twelve-pack of beer, half of which had already been consumed.

The first? It was the Exorcist, answered Blaze. I think I was thirteen years old at the time. Watched it on cable. Boy, did I have trouble sleeping that night. How about you?

Night of the Living Dead.

Which one?

The original. The black and white film from 1968.

That wasn’t that scary.

Dude, are you serious? I was, like, ten years old. That movie freaked me out. I slept over a friend’s house and we built a tent out of a bedsheet in the den. We stayed up all night and watched creepy films on WPIX.

You always were into those zombie films.

Yeah. That’s the one that did it for me. You saw it, right?

Yep.

I did a paper on it back in high school. They had a budget of a hundred and fifty thousand dollars, which isn’t a lot in the movie world. And since the movie was filmed in black and white, it didn’t matter what color the blood was.

The blood wasn’t red?

Some of it was. But I read that for some scenes, they used chocolate syrup because it had the consistency they were looking for.

Zombies are badass.

You got that right. The zombie apocalypse could come at any time.

I hope it’s not tonight. We still have some beers left.

Seriously. You never know when you’re going to be thrust into a crazy situation. Not just zombies. You gotta be prepared.

You’re right. Could you pass me another beer?

Yeah, here you go, Blaze replied, as he handed him a cold one.

You know what? We should have a secret code word. Like if either of us is in trouble, or in an emergency.

That’s a good idea. But it has to be important. You can’t just say it if we’re out of cheese or you can’t find the lighter.

Okay. So, what’s the word?

The two thought for a while. Since their most recent conversation was about horror films, they used that as their inspiration and started rattling off sinister names from their favorite movies.

How about Freddy? Jason? Damien? Leatherface? Samara? Jigsaw?

Ooh, I like that one.

Jigsaw?

Yeah. That’s perfect. That’s the code word if either of us have an emergency or are ever in a situation.

I’m actually having a small emergency situation of my own right now.

What’s the matter?

I can’t get the freaking cap off this bottle.

Here, let me try.

Blaze gave it his best effort but had as much trouble as his friend. Hang on, I’ve got something that’ll work. He pulled out a Swiss Army Knife and proceeded to open all the attached gadgets. It’s got a fork, a knife, a screwdriver, a scissor… here we go. Bottle opener.

Jeez. If we ever are in a zombie apocalypse, make sure you bring that thing.

This? This won’t save us. What we really need is a way to escape. Like this Zamboni. This is a pretty sweet ride.

Yeah, we can escape doing four miles per hour and run over and freeze everyone who gets in our way, he added sarcastically.

Four miles an hour?

Yeah! How fast do you think Zambonis go?

It’s gotta be faster than that.

Maybe. But I’ve watched them between periods during hockey games. They don’t seem to go that fast.

Wanna find out? Blaze added, as he motioned to the key that was sticking out of the ignition.

It wasn’t their smartest decision, but when beer is consumed in large quantities, questionable decisions often become less questionable.

Blaze turned the key and started the engine.

Listen to that baby purr, he commented. Go open the gate. Let’s take this bad boy on the ice and see how she handles.

Sheriff got out of the front seat and pulled open the doors near center ice. Alright… come on through.

He put the transmission in ‘drive’ and slowly rolled through the opening. Sheriff jumped back in and their joyride began.

See? I told you. It’s about four miles per hour.

They took the Zamboni down the length of the ice and turned it around at the goal line, so they could retrace their path in the opposite direction. As they turned the vehicle, they came face-to-face with a campus security guard.

You boys are about to have a really bad night, he said.

Chapter Four

Though Blaze lived on campus, he was close to home, and found himself visiting at least one Sunday a month to catch up with the family.

Jon, his dad said. A word, please.

Yeah, dad?

In the other room.

They walked into his study to have a private conversation.

I got a letter in the mail yesterday. From your school.

What about?

It didn’t go into specifics, but it said due to a recent incident, you’re being placed on probation, he added, with an angry tone.

Oh, that.

Though they were in another room, the rest of the family likely heard his father, as his voice got louder as the conversation progressed. I thought we talked about this. College is only twenty minutes away, and it certainly would have been more affordable for you to commute. But we agreed that you could live on campus because we wanted you to have the full college experience.

I’m sorry, dad.

What is this about? You know what, I don’t want to know. This is unacceptable. Your mother and I are furious. It’s your junior year. We will not have you jeopardize your college career with unacceptable behavior.

You’re right. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.

Now get inside. Your grandmother is joining us for dinner. We picked her up from the nursing home this afternoon, and she’s looking forward to seeing you.

The dining room table was set for five. The Blazers were a very close-knit family. Sunday dinners usually began with conversation about the coming week, and typically ended with someone choking on their food from laughing so hard.

Do you like school? asked his grandmother.

I do, Nana. I mean, the classes are harder than they were in high school, but I’m meeting so many new people. Plus, I live in a dorm with my best friend, so it’s a great experience.

That’s nice, she replied.

Jonathan, his father asked, you mentioned you wanted to ask me something tonight.

Yeah, but…I’m not sure the timing’s right, seeing as how you just got that letter in the mail.

We addressed it. It’s done. What’s on your mind, son?

I need a favor. I know money’s always tight, but I need another five hundred dollars for school.

Do you like school, asked his grandmother.

Blaze turned to his father and whispered, she already asked me that.

I know. Just answer her.

Yes, Nana. I do. I go to school with Sheriff. Do you remember Sheriff?

That’s nice, she replied, as she took a bite of her dinner.

So, what’s the money for? asked his father. Your tuition for next semester is all paid for. I sent the check myself.

It’s a class fee. It’s for a new class that I really want to take.

What class is charging you an extra five bills?

It’s a course on the stock market. For part of the class, we set up real trading accounts and spend the semester learning about investing. I can return the money to you at the end of the semester, assuming of course the stock market doesn’t tank during that timeframe.

What happens if your portfolio loses money? Do you fail the class?

I don’t think so. The portfolio is only part of the grade. The rest is based on homework and tests and some presentations. The goal is to give us a broad understanding of the market.

Does trading stocks interest you?

I think so. Didn’t you once mention that your 401k is invested in stocks? Isn’t that how you’re saving for retirement?

Sure. A 401k is a great investment strategy to save for the future. It’s not the only one, of course. But if you start early enough and have a long enough time horizon, you can really leverage compounding interest and it can grow into a tidy sum.

What’s compounding interest?

Take the class. I think it’s a good idea to understand finances. And this is a good start.

So… the dead presidents?

I’ll take care of it.

Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate it.

Do you like school, asked his grandmother.

Yes, Nana. I like school. I’m getting good grades.

That’s nice.

Do me a favor, son. Help your sister clear the table.

Sure thing.

Blaze stacked the used plates and assembled the cutlery in neat rows on top and brought them into the kitchen.

Nana’s asking the same questions again, Blaze commented to his mother.

I know, she replied. That’s just part of the progression of the disease.

Alzheimer’s?

"Yes. Unfortunately, there’s not much we can do at this stage.

There’s no medicine she can take?

Well, there are medications, but most are designed to slow the progress of the disease. There’s no cure.

That’s a shame.

Should I bring in dessert? asked Rebecca.

Yes, honey. Go ahead. We’ll be right in.

Can I ask a stupid question? asked Blaze.

Sure, replied his mother.

What exactly is Alzheimer’s Disease?

That’s not a stupid question. You’re young, so you’ve never really been exposed to it. It’s a form of dementia, something which affects memory and cognitive abilities. Scientists are still learning about it, but research is pointing to plaque.

Like on our teeth?

"Sort of, but not really. It’s basically a protein called beta-amyloid that builds up between