Twelve Life Lessons I Want To Teach My Son

By Simon Williams

Simon Williams' son was abducted to Brazil by his ex-wife 9 years ago. As a father his job to instruct his son on the trials and tribulations of life doesn't cease even though contact with his child is difficult. This book is his honest way of passing on life lessons that he has learnt with his less than normal life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon Williams
• Release date: Mar 19, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463738986

Simon Williams

Simon Williams is an author who believes in the adage, write what you know. So, his two memoir series, TORN and WANDERLOST, encapsulate the three themes he knows best in this world, fear, regret, and inspiration.Life has not been fair to Simon, on many levels, but his honest and forthright openness on the issues that have dogged him as he found a determination to continue fighting for the one thing in his life that is most important to him and that still eludes him to this day.Born in a small, dry town in Australia, after residing in over 45 different locations, Simon now calls Miami, Florida home.His books are always tinged with sufficient humorous relief to keep uplifting readers as they must follow Simon through what have been some extremely harrowing exploits over his 50 years.

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TWELVE Life lessons I want to teach my Son

by

Simon Williams

Copyright © 2019 by Simon Williams

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

This book is a work of nonfiction. Names, places, and incidents are real except where the book notifies they have been changed due to laws prohibiting the author using the real names.

Published at Amazon

First Printing: March 2019

ISBN- 9780463738986

For every Dad and every little man in their lives.

Great advice comes from people who have been around a lot longer than us.

Plagiarized from the internet.

CONTENTS

Prologue

Introduction

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Prologue

At the age of one, my son was taken to Brazil by his mother and denied contact with me for five years. Every loving father's worst nightmare. An ordeal shared by 680,000 other Dads from my home country who, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, see their children as infrequently as once a year. Also, the same as the reverse nightmare endured by 700,000 Australian kids who have no meaningful contact with their non-custodial parent. Which is usually the man. I am too sickened to look up the numbers for the USA. This apparently is the way family court systems in the world decide how to create healthy environments to raise children.

Because of my circumstances my naïve eyes were opened to how the world sees a man's place in their kid's development. Women have historically been thought of as the vital caregiver, not men. Why is this the case? Why doesn't society acknowledge that men grow up longing to be fathers? It isn't purely to enjoy sleepless nights and a tax deduction. The subtle biases against men in family court and in child rearing became more obvious to me the longer my ordeal went on. Here I was desperate to be my son's perfect Dad and parts of society seemed to be essentially telling me to bugger off. How other people choose to raise their children doesn't bother me in the least, but don't you dare tell me that my love for my son is not crucial for him!

Even with my son's absence my obligation to be a father didn't stop. I never ceased in my fight to see him and, even though no one who knows me would consider me a violet man, I would have burned down the entire justice system in two countries to have my love be a part of his life. This thought may seem extreme, but only to those who have never experienced the pain of being alienated from their child, most of whom are men. And who else would pay attention to this crap and understand how it happens, other than the ones forced to suffer through it?

Thankfully my son and I were reunited, and I am now involved in his life, although always with an overhanging threat that we could be kept apart again. No matter how much time I spend with him, it is never enough. The visits always seem too short while there is so much for me to teach him. He and I initially had to overcome the language barrier between us. His English consists of being able to sing the first line of 'I believe I can fly,' by R. Kelly, while I am limited to being competent to order a beer in Portuguese and telling someone to 'piss off.' For the first two years, every time I told him one of my Dad jokes, he had less than no idea of what I was saying.

However, there was no greater thrill for me than seeing the flash of recognition in his eyes when he grasped the concept of what I was instructing him. There is no prouder instance for him than when he demonstrates the successful understanding of what I have been trying to teach. These are the bonds of father and son that we will carry with us for our entire lives. These small moments never seem as important as what they truly are at the time they are made. Some people describe the most amazing moment in their life as being when they meet their childhood hero. For me, it was the day I taught my father how to tie a rope knot that he did not already know. As an engineer my father can do almost anything mechanical, construct whatever he wants out of any material, and even write computer programs. Most days I am ecstatic if I can tie my shoelaces on the first attempt. At seventeen, to be able to show him a technique he didn't know to make a tightening knot in a length of rope was awesome. That was the day I look back on and consider that I became an adult. It was a moment built on all the intangible things about how to make my way through life that my father had taught me. They say there is no prouder day in a young man's life than the day he buys his father breakfast for the first time. I am sure there is a moment like this in the life of every man who desires to be as good a father to their son as their own was to them. A big 'fuck you' to the family court systems that prevents this from happening.

If anything was to now happen to me, or if I am prevented from seeing my son again, I want to ensure that I pass on to him some of the most important lessons that life has taught me. To give him a grounding for the day when he becomes an adult. I much prefer he gets a grounding in the ways of this world from me, rather than from a Pit Bill music video, a Catholic minister, or from a tough 13-year-old who smokes cigarettes and hangs around near the toilet block at soccer training. If this helps inspire another father to sit down with their child to read a chapter and discuss their own experiences, then that is a bonus for everyone concerned.

Is there anything else in the world that can give a person a greater sense of pride than to be the role model and hero of their child? In my humble opinion, the moments spent with our offspring being their teacher and guide is the greatest experience that can be bestowed on us. Never waste a single opportunity. Not all our experiences will be the same, but the effects of taking time to talk with our children are identical. It is an aspect of life that society is sadly losing. People don’t spend the time gathered around the dinner table discussing their day anymore. I don't interact with people the same way in this technology driven era. But I can tell you that after experiencing the loss I had for five years I don't waste a single, valuable second of being a father when I am with my boy. Never take your time as a parent for granted

Introduction

Son, in your life there will likely be another person who will instruct you in Algebra, introduce you to the laws of Physics, and teach you how to write your name in cursive. You will go to school, you will wear a uniform, you will stand in line at assembly. These lessons will teach you the formality of society, how to obey orders, and in some ways to limit thinking for yourself. However, there are things that you need to know that you will never be taught by your school teacher, or by your mother. It falls upon my shoulders as your father to teach you about this other very important side of life: about when is the time to break the rules; about why it is perfectly okay to be different than everybody else; about when to act a little crazy; and about how to enjoy the most out of your time on the planet. You must learn important concepts such as how to be politically incorrect, how not to be a victim, and that you are only entitled to what you are willing to earn.

Did you know that running up the down escalator at the shopping mall is at least ten times more fun than merely riding up on the up one? Every young boy should know this. That is an enormous payoff in enjoyment for just a small investment of thinking outside the box. There is no law against this. (That I am aware of) The only thing stopping anybody from doing this is the fear of being different. But, do you know the worst that can happen to you? Your stomach will ache from all the laughing you will do from having so much fun! You can't be arrested. You won't go to jail. Every male in the shopping center will be jealous because they secretly dream of doing this themselves. The mall security guards