The Best of What We Believe... Why We Believe It: What We Believe, #3

By Joe Sixpack—The Every Catholic Guy

The Best of What We Believe... Why We Believe It—Volume Three

258 Pages

Joe Sixpack—The Every Catholic Guy, whose real name is Addledorf Clinkerdaggar Rostefuten (see why he goes by Joe Sixpack?), is one of the most sought after and orthodox teachers of all things Catholic in America today. With his quick wit, engaging style, and in-your-face presentation of immutable truth, Joe Sixpack is a breath of fresh air in a Church marked by scandal, turmoil and a mass exodus of the laity.

Joe Sixpack—The Every Catholic Guy has been a lay evangelist for more than thirty-years. He has made hundreds of converts via one-on-one and small group venues, but that sort of evangelistic activity came to an end when he had a devastating and debilitating stroke in 2016. As it turns out, God had a plan when He allowed Joe to have that disabling stroke.

Between the scandals of the last decade, the catechetical illiteracy of the laity, the loss of Catholic lay people at the rate of six leaving to every one new Catholic gained, and his new disabilities, Joe Sixpack began to realize his "new normal" would have to cause his focus to shift from making converts to helping the Catholic laity navigate the tumultuous waters of angst and confusion Satan has stirred within the Church. Joe Sixpack—The Every Catholic Guy began his new mission by starting the What We Believe... Why We Believe It Sunday bulletin inserts (from which this book originates). Then he launched the wildly popular JoeSixpackAnswers website, began providing free weekly webinars for the lay faithful, producing DVDs and CDs of various Catholic topics, prolifically writing books, and now also hosts The Cantankerous Catholic podcast.

Joe Sixpack—The Every Catholic Guy's motto—"Give Me Souls; Keep The Rest"—explains why he works tirelessly to reach out to as many Catholics he can. Also, another thing he tries to help other Catholics understand and apply in their own lives in these uncertain times is the meaningful message of his battle cry: "Comfort And Conviction Don't Live On The Same Block!"

So grab your favorite beverage, find a comfortable and quiet place to read, then prepare yourself to learn how Catholicism can be the most exciting lived experience you have ever known!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cassock Media, LLC
• Release date: Jan 21, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386302353

Book preview

1

Our Third Year!

It’s been a great third year! It’s been such an exciting third year that I almost don’t know where to begin. First, we began hosting apologetics webinars, and attendees have been just crazy about them. In fact, at this writing, I’m not even half way through all the presentations. Although it’s subject to change, it looks like we’re going to have between 25-30 apologetical topics.

Earlier this year, the Joe Sixpack apostolate launched Cassock Media LLC, a new type of Catholic publishing company. I’ll tell you more about Cassock Media in a moment.

Through Cassock, so far we’ve published Marty Barrack’s biography titled Calvary Road. I’ve been friends with Marty for a quarter century and thought I knew him as well as I knew myself, but after I read his manuscript I realized I really didn’t know anything about him at all. You see, I only came to know Marty after his conversion to Catholicism from Judaism. His life prior to conversion can only be summed up with one word: Wow!

Let me quote an excerpt from the book’s back cover blurb.

An Amazing Journey!

What do Billy Dee Williams, opera stars Licia Albanese and Renata Tebaldi, a kid named Robbie Gilston, and famed comedian Jimmy Durante have to do with one man’s journey from Conservative Judaism to the Cross? Everything!

Marty Barrack has lived one of the most fascinating conversion journeys ever told. As you read his story, it becomes very apparent how God’s hand moved in Marty’s life from the time he was a small child right up to the day he found himself embracing true Christianity… and beyond!

Is Marty’s conversion a small part of what Jesus said would happen as we approached the end times? It could be, because untold numbers of Jews owe their introduction to Christianity to him. Just as St. Paul was called by God to leave ministry to the Jews to be an apostle to the Gentiles, He led Marty to be His modern apostle back to the Jews. Consequently, Marty founded and operates the Second Exodus apostolate to reach out to innumerable Jewish souls.

I can’t urge you enough to buy it! Reading the manuscript is the only time I can recall getting all excited and unable to put a first draft manuscript down. And believe me when I tell you, I’ve read lots of manuscripts!

We also managed to publish a few Joe Sixpack books. We published Sharing the Catholic Faith, The Lay Evangelist's Handbook, and the first two volumes in this series.

At this writing, I’m working on a series of in-depth apologetics books called The Complete Book of Catholic Apologetics: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Defending the Catholic Faith in numerous volumes. I’m not in the habit of bragging about my own writing, but this series is so good that it makes me want to volunteer to walk through hell in gasoline pajamas… and expect to come out unscathed!

Finally, I’m also working on thirteen other books. Some of them may make it into print this year! They’ve got titles like A Catholic's Responsibilities, What Did the First Century Christians Believe?—Volume 1, The Cantankerous Catholic, Purging Nice Catholicism and Johnny Instructs Rufus.

So back to Cassock Media.

You might think there are already quite a few Catholic book publishers—Ignatius Press, Catholic Classics, TAN Books and Publishers, etc.—but each one of these publishers fulfill a specific niche. Well, Cassock Media seeks to fulfill yet another niche.

Firstly, the Church has never suffered more confusion and dissension then she is today. This needs to be defeated. Secondly, level of catechetical illiteracy among the laity is at the highest level ever. John Henry Cardinal Newman once said that there is nothing more tragic in the Catholic Church then the ignorance of the laity. That is certainly true today. Thirdly, generations subsequent to that of John Henry Cardinal Newman have been significantly dumbed down by the aftermath of Vatican II and modern technology. Therefore, there has emerged a tremendous niche for books and media that speak to and are understood by the common man in the pew. That's the whole reason Joe Sixpack—the Every Catholic Guy exists in the first place.

Another reason we founded Cassock Media was for the benefit of offers. When I publish my first book under another name 20 years ago, the author happen be at the bottom of the food chain. The author did all the work, but only earned 7 1/2% to 10% of the royalty. Cassock Media is revolutionizing that! We have developed a business model that allows authors to earn a minimum of 15% royalty and the maximum of 65%—we're far more interested in souls then we are money. Hence the reason for the existence of Cassock Media.

So I'm not only hope that you'll enjoyed this book, as well as my other books and courses, but that you will seek out all of the books and media published by Cassock Media.

Thanks!

2

Thank You!—by Mr. Scratch

Hello, Sixpackers! My name is Mr. Scratch. Well, at least that’s what I was called in Benét’s The Devil and Daniel Webster . That Pretender called Me a liar and murderer, but I kind of like Mr. Scratch better. Anyway, I’ve taken over Joe Sixpack’s column today (and he won’t quit whining about it) because I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for all you do. Let me explain.

I’ve had a hard row to hoe over the eons, but My greatest victory was when I managed to send my Enemy to his death on the cross… well, it was My victory until he somehow managed to escape the grave and turned My victory into defeat. But I’m not easily discouraged, and what I’ve accomplished during the last century has been My greatest work. I have you to thank for it, because I’ve managed to convince you the Pretender isn’t even relevant today. After all, how do you think I’ve managed to create the current cultural climate anyway?

When that Pretender walked the earth (which belongs to Me, not him), he founded the catholic church, which everyone called The Way in those days. The Pretender set up that ignorant fishermen and his successors to speak for him when he went back to his silly kingdom, and with him out of the way all of mankind became easy pickings for Me. I’ve done a wonderful job of gaining billions of friends since the Pretender left. My greatest feat was about 500 years ago when I split the Pretender’s church and came up with Protestantism. (Oh, how I love reminding Luther of that every day!) I managed to get eight million souls in almost one fell swoop then.

My next truly great accomplishment was the post World War II era. Yeah, the war was great, but where I really had My victory was when I was able to attack the traditional family unit in the post war years of materialism. That allowed Me to make marriage disposable, which led to an entire pro-death mentality. But it was always difficult for Me to get to the culturally catholic people… until they got too comfortable in their land of plenty and materialistic ways, placing a far greater emphasis on things rather than the Pretender. That was when I was able to use political correctness, radical feminism, the pill, drugs, homosexuality and the free love ways of the ‘60s to wear you down.

I also managed to use the turmoil of the ‘60s to make teachers in the Pretender’s church believe they were doing a great favor to children by teaching them more about petty garbage like love and equality instead of the greater things the Pretender wanted them to know and believe. And you bought it—hook, line and sinker. Yeah, I’ve accomplished a lot, and here is a list of things I want to thank you for in your aid to My cause.

You rejected the Pretender’s authority that he established in his church, rightly opting instead for your own opinions over his goofy dogmas. Good job! And I thank you.

You began taking that stupid mass for granted, and you managed to forget just what it’s really all about, so you don’t even care whether you attend every Sunday and so-called holy day like the Pretender wants you to. Thank you.

You stopped believing that the Pretender is really present in that cookie you’re supposed to worship. Thank you.

You’ve bought in to what I’ve told you about what is really right and wrong. You have helped Me make the wrong right and the right wrong, thus giving yourselves the sort of moral compass I want you to have. Thank you.

You have discarded chastity in favor of doing what makes you feel good in the bedroom… or anywhere else you can get away with it without detection. Thanks!

Modesty? Heh-heh. I love the way you dress these days. The more flesh you expose, the more souls I get. I’m loving it. Thank you. (Ladies, keep right on doing what you’re doing!)

Pornography, masturbation, homosexuality, transgenderism, adultery, fornication: you’ve let Me buy you for all eternity for nothing more than the price of lust. Thank you.

I must admit failure when it comes to the slaughter of innocent babies. You still buy into the Pretender’s rhetoric that it’s wrong. So I tricked you on that one. I managed to sell you instead on artificial contraception. You see, all chemical contraceptives are abortifacient, so you’re helping me murder millions of babies every year without even realizing you’re killing your own children—flushing them down the toilet like so much waste. THANK YOU!

Using political correctness, I’ve managed to convince you that you’re no better or worse than anyone else, so you commit many wonderful evils for me without a second thought—some big, some little. Because of that you receive the Pretender every week in communion with those evils dripping from your soul, but you never bother to go to confession. I’m loving it. Thank you for solidifying My hold on you.

I also appreciate the way you show that Pretender so much incredible disrespect by leaving the silly mass right after receiving communion. Not only is that disrespectful, but you manage to let Me own a little bit more of you by not fulfilling your Sunday obligation. I really appreciate your impatience to get out of there, because it’s one more mortal sin that allows Me to own you. Thanks.

One of the biggest favors you do for Me is consistently being the deciding factor in the election of politicians who not only help Me murder babies in the womb, but also help Me to persecute those who still actually serve the Pretender in more ways than just giving him lip service. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Let’s see… what else do you do for Me? Oh, yes! You’ve decided it’s judgmental to say it’s wrong for people of the same sex to marry. You just make My job easier and easier. Thank you.

Your arrogance is what I most appreciate. You convince yourselves that because you’ve been catholic all your lives or gone to catholic school that you know all there is to know about the Pretender’s church and his teachings. Praise Me, how I love you! Thanks!

You catholic husbands and dads are a great encouragement to Me as well. You have abdicated your role as spiritual leaders in your families. Do you have any idea how much easier you make it for Me to destroy the souls of your wives and children? Ooo, I couldn’t ask for better allies than you. Thank you.

Since you and I make such a great team in this world I’ve created in My own image and likeness, I want to ask you to do Me a favor. I’ll be forced next week to return this page to Joe Sixpack, and he’ll be talking a lot about the things the Pretender wants you to hear. And that stupid guy wearing the weird collar who expects to be called father even though he’s a celibate moron will probably tell you to meet him in the confessional. Well, just ignore them. Don’t pay the least bit of attention to what they say. I can’t do the things I need to do if they win you back from Me, and you know how good I make you feel when you do what I want. So pay them no attention whatsoever. Just remember Who loves you enough to make you feel good.

See you later in My realm,

Mr. Scratch

3

If This is the way you treat your Friends…

St. Teresa of Avila, the Carmelite Doctor of the Church, was once crossing a shallow ford in the river on her donkey. Suddenly, the donkey bucked and she fell into the water, along with all her belongings. Sitting in the river, the saintly mystic looked toward heaven and quipped, If this is the way You treat Your friends, I can understand why You have so few.

Being a saint does not mean you are drab, humorless, and have an ideal life. Quite the contrary, none of the saints in the church’s history have been sad or lacking in the sense of humor. Indeed, the saints have always been souls other people were attracted to and enjoyed being around. However, that does not mean they have idyllic lives.

St. John Bosco was under constant threat of death from the Masons, having made numerous attempts on his life. St. Anthony of Padua and St. Francis of Assisi both died young men after long and painful illnesses. Saint Bernadette died at a young age from exceedingly painful tuberculosis of the bone. Saint John Paul II survived several attempts on his life (more than just the assassination attempt in St. Peter’s Square), and suffered Parkinson's disease throughout the last half of his pontificate.

So what does all this mean? Well, it means that if you are trying to become a saint (which is one of our two major obligations as Catholics) you will find yourself suffering. The question is, why does someone striving for sanctity have to suffer? It all boils down to perfection.

In life, every action has a consequence. Our parents have told us this since we were old enough to understand. Anything we do, good or bad, has consequences. Every sin, no matter how minor, requires payment to the one being offended, who is God. So you can count on it, everything from using God's name carelessly and telling a white lie to the commission of every mortal sin, is something we will have to pay for. The problem with being human is that we are so prone to sin that we’d never have a moment’s peace if we paid for everything in this life. So we have to pay for our sins in purgatory. The problem with purgatory, though, is that it is incredibly painful and even though the duration may or may not be short, it is incredibly intense. The reason for the intensity is, there is no grace in purgatory. Therefore, those who are striving for holiness are being rewarded with infinite love from God.

Yes, suffering really is God showing infinite love. We are being shown love and mercy in purgatory, despite the pain; without purgatory we would all by necessity end up in hell. But suffering in this life is earning grace and is sort of like being paid triple or quadruple time by our Employer—getting 3 or 4 times the pay for the same work. Suffering in this life isn't nearly as hard as purgatory, but it’s still very difficult and painful. But you see, suffering has great value in the scheme of things, because nothing unclean shall enter heaven (Rev. 21:27), and an unpaid debt for previous actions (whether forgiven and unforgiven venial sin or forgiven mortal sin) makes us unclean, so unworthy to enter heaven. So by suffering in this life we, and offering that suffering back to God as a gift in reparation for our sins and the sins of the world, we purify ourselves to be made worthy of heaven. In other words, if we accept our suffering as a gift from God, offer it back to Him as a gift, avoiding grumbling about the suffering, then we can go straight to heaven without a stop-off in purgatory. And believe you me, suffering in this life beats purgatory by a thousand miles! Try reading the book Purgatory by Fr. F.X. Schouppe (available from TAN Books). I read that book almost thirty years ago, and it had such an impact on me that I’ve never forgotten a bit of it.

So what constitutes a suffering that we can offer up to God? Well, since suffering in this life earns grace, any sort of suffering will do nicely. Got a cold? Offer it up! Had to pay for an unexpected car repair? Offer it up! Anything, whether big or small, extraordinary or mundane, can and should be offered up to God as a gift in reparation for your sins and the sins of the world. Since the reality is that we don’t ordinarily shoot straight to heaven when we die, offering up your sufferings—big and small—will lessen your time in purgatory.

Let’s get back to sanctity. If you’re striving for holiness—i.e., becoming a saint (and I hope you are)—then suffering slips into a higher gear. The only person’s experience I can credibly talk about is my own, so let’s examine my life.

Ordinarily, when we ask God to make us a saint, we actually look for things to offer up in reparation for our sins. That’s why we traditionally give up something during Lent—an act of penance for our sins. People seeking sanctity usually look for lots of Lenten sacrifices all year long. But I’m one of those weak souls who doesn't do well with voluntary penances. I can’t seem to maintain the resolve to keep them. Well, for folks like me, God has a remedy for that. Does the name Job come to mind?

Since I’m weak and don’t do voluntary penances well, God permits me to be treated a lot like Job. The severity of my sufferings aren’t quite as strong as Job’s, but they sure seem like it at the time. The last two years, for example, have been a real wild ride. First, one of my sons returned from his second tour in Iraq a virtual mental vegetable—he doesn’t even know me, so for all intents and purposes I’ve lost him. Second, a trusted friend and advisor stole our identities and all or money, placing us in financial ruin. Next, another of my sons suddenly died, the result of his naval service about 15 years before finally catching up with him. And just when you think things can’t get worse (never say that, because I will tell you they can), I suffered a stroke that nearly killed me and left me handicapped.

What will happen next? I don’t know. I only cringe and wait, but the fact that I cringe