Enticing Iris

By Cherrie Lynn

After a messy and very public divorce, international rock star Elijah Vance is eager to get back to what he loves: playing live music. His band is embarking on a two-month summer tour of the US, but he isn't looking to get back to his old hard-partying ways. Those days are done. Instead, he plans to spend his downtime between sets reconnecting with his two sons.

There's only one problem . . .

When Iris Silverman signed on to be Heidi Vance's nanny, she never knew her job description would include accompanying the kids on their dad's tour. But Heidi insists Iris tag along to be an extra set of eyes. After all, things can get crazy on a big rock tour, and Heidi doesn't seem to trust her ex-husband to provide adequate supervision while the boys are on his time. More than that, she wants Iris to report back on any of his nefarious behaviors.

The last thing Eli wants is his ex-wife's flunky criticizing every parenting decision he makes, but if it will keep the peace to take Iris along, so be it, even if he doesn't plan on making her job an easy one. He'd rather chase her back home . . . until she begins to surprise him, revealing a stubborn, loving heart to go along with her innocent beauty. As they grow closer, he can't help but want to make her his.

Iris knows Elijah Vance is trouble. For her, for her job, for her future. But the sexy, arrogant rock star has a softer side when it comes to his kids, and to her. Once he pours on the seductive charm that makes women all over the world swoon, she'll find herself torn between loyalty . . . and the man she wants more than anything.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cherrie Lynn
• Release date: Jan 18, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386614715

Cherrie Lynn

New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author Cherrie Lynn has been a CPS caseworker and a juvenile probation officer, but now that she has come to her senses, she writes contemporary and paranormal romance on the steamy side. It's *much* more fun. She's also an unabashed rock music enthusiast and lives in East Texas with her husband and two kids. You can visit her at http://www.cherrielynn.com She loves hearing from readers!

Book preview

One

I don’t need the fucking nanny, Heidi.

You want the summer? You’re taking the nanny.

Elijah Vance raked a hand back through his hair and met his ex-wife’s obstinate blue eyes in her bathroom mirror as she applied a coat of shimmering red lipstick. He couldn’t help but think she was deliberately calling attention to that particular feature at this particular moment, but she had to know her beauty had ceased being a weapon she could use against him long ago. Anyway, he was too pissed off. She was getting ready to go out with her movie-star boyfriend right now, but this time Eli hadn’t let her walk away from the conversation he’d tried to instigate a dozen times already.

The boys aren’t any trouble, he said. "I don’t even see why you need the nanny. It’s just something else you can spend my money on."

Heidi let her hand fall away from its task in exasperation. It wasn’t the best tactic to take, maybe, but any mention of his money always got her attention. Excuse me?

The only time I’ll be away from them is the hour and a half I’ll be onstage. That’s it. They’ll be right there watching, and the rest of the time, I’ll be hanging out with them. That’s the whole point of this. The nanny— He broke off. Hell, what was her name? He could never remember. She was always in the background, quiet and sometimes bespectacled, walking the requisite ten steps behind so the paps wouldn’t catch her in a shot and imply to the rest of the world that Heidi Vance couldn’t handle her own two children. Whatever her name is. She won’t be needed. She’ll be useless.

Heidi turned from the mirror to look at him directly, sneering. "Iris is her name, and she’ll be far from useless, considering all the time you’ll spend fucking groupies."

Eli clamped his jaw tight. He supposed after all these years Heidi still knew how to get his attention, too. I won’t be fucking groupies, he grumbled.

Aw. They’ll be so disappointed to hear it.

They’ll have to be.

Aesthetic Ruin’s tours weren’t about the stereotypical rock lifestyle any longer. Because Eli—and hopefully the rest of the guys in the band—was more concerned with living than partying. After fifteen years they’d probably all done enough damage to their bodies, and as far as groupies . . . there was only so much pussy one could look at before one began to feel that one had seen them all.

Though he supposed the older, jaded rock star was as stereotypical as the hard partying one. Jaded. Jaded. Sounds better than washed up. Although he didn’t put himself into that category yet, and neither did his hardcore fans, there were plenty of assholes on the Internet who did. But they didn’t know shit.

Now, it was all about the music for him. The rush he didn’t get any other way. The crowds. It was the only drug he would allow himself. He had Seger and Dylan looking up to him now, and they were eleven and nine, respectively. That magical stage of life where a kid missed absolutely nothing. He’d let them down enough in years past; he didn’t plan on doing it again. Ever.

Look, Iris is great and I trust her, Heidi said, her tone reaching a more reasonable pitch. I won’t worry so much about the boys being on tour without me if you take her with you. You know how things can happen in the blink of an eye.

And supernanny Iris never blinks, I take it. All he needed was his ex-wife’s flunky on his ass all the time.

No. She doesn’t.

Great.

Eli sighed. There probably wasn’t any way he was getting out of this. Heidi was giving up her own kid time to let him take the boys on tour, though he doubted that was any great sacrifice on her part. The least he could do was indulge her on this one thing, right?

But he was so sick and fucking tired of letting her win.

And it’ll be easier on you, she went on. Iris knows their schedules, knows their needs, keeps up with all of Dylan’s allergies. Hang out with them all you want and let her handle the hard stuff. What’s wrong with that?

Maybe I want to handle the hard stuff. Unlike you, he added silently.

As if he’d said it out loud, she laughed bitingly. Trust me, you don’t. They can be a handful.

Of course they can. They’re kids. He’d always been able to grapple with the various crises better than Heidi. She was prone to meltdowns at the least disruption to her perfect life. Dylan’s allergies were a case in point. From his first anaphylactic reaction, she’d despaired over the extra work of making sure he didn’t eat what he shouldn’t, mainly tree nuts and shellfish. The one and only time he’d been stung by a bee, he puffed up like the Michelin man, so they made the list too. A dog or cat in the vicinity would have him itchy and wheezing for hours, so pets were out. I know everything Dylan needs as well as you do.

Eli, just do this. What am I supposed to do with the girl for two months while the kids are away?

"Give her the time off. I’m sure she would appreciate it. What the fuck am I supposed to do with her for two months?"

I want her wherever the boys are. It was Heidi’s and that’s that tone.

The boys are going to be on the bus with me.

Then she’s on the bus with you.

Like hell she will be.

"Goddamn it, E. The kids are her job. Let her go along and I promise you won’t regret it."

Do you really think she’ll thank you for forcing her into tour life when she’s used to all this? He swept his arm to encompass Heidi’s lavish home. His former home.

She ignored the comment, going back to painting her face. She tutors Seger.

"It’s summer."

And he struggles all year. An hour a day isn’t going to cut into your precious time too much.

All right, he could give her that one. And Seger goes for that?

Newsflash: those boys love her. She has a way with them. You’ll see.

Her voice held that self-assured triumph that always rankled him. How was he supposed to get quality time in with the boys when he had a fucking nanny tagging along?

By leaving her ass on the bus or in her hotel room, he decided, stalking across his former bedroom, leaving Heidi to get ready in his former bathroom . . . probably to roll with her boyfriend across Elijah’s former bed. The thought made bile rise in his throat.

But he wouldn’t give two fucks what she did as long as the—as long as Iris stayed out of their way. And as long as he could be assured she wasn’t running to her employer to blab about everything she saw on the road. Not that he intended to raise hell (too much), but the thought crawled under his skin and itched. He didn’t need Heidi’s eyes following him everywhere he went, her ears listening to everything he said.

Fuck. That.

He snatched the bedroom door open. Iris, limbs flailing, tumbled forward and damn near knocked him to the floor. By reflex, his arms went around her to keep her from taking him down with her. Wide blue eyes blinked up at him.

Even the one second he held her was long enough to catalog a myriad of sensation: the softness of a breast, the silken brush of her hair, the strength of her hands as she pushed and struggled against him as if he were burning her.

Sorry, she mumbled once he’d leveled her up to her own two feet again, fixing the glasses that had been knocked askew. I was just . . . Eavesdropping, he thought. It had already begun. I was coming to see if you needed anything else, Heidi, she called toward the bathroom.

No, that’ll be all today, Iris. Elijah has stopped by to take the boys for the night. Thank you.

At least she thinks I’m capable for a single night, he muttered. Heidi had missed Iris’s grand entrance. He was sure if he pointed it out, she would roll her eyes and tell him he was being ridiculous. But the woman’s weight had been solid against the door. He’d felt it.

Iris didn’t comment on what he’d said, and Eli assessed her through narrowed eyes. Her face, small and heart-shaped, was a blank slate, and her lustrous black hair caught the soft overhead light in a perfect halo. She was a little thing, the tiny body he’d felt flush against him completely hidden underneath a loose pink T-shirt and jeans.

She caught his assessment and quickly looked away, blushing before his very eyes as she adjusted her glasses again, looking more librarian than nanny. A damn pretty librarian. He was surprised Heidi tolerated it.

All right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then! Iris called cheerily, then beat a hasty retreat out into the hallway. Eli gave her a few seconds’ head start and followed, just in time to see her round the corner ahead and fly down the stairs at warp speed. As she reached the ground floor, she called, Bye, boys! to Seger and Dylan in the living room. He heard his sons chorus their goodbyes back at her amid exclamations about the video game they were playing.

Wait, Eli said.

Iris froze, her hand on the front door handleset, and slowly turned to look up at him as he descended the curving stairs at his own lazy pace. Yes?

Once at the bottom, Eli cast a glance into the living room, at his sons with their dark heads together in front of the TV. He gestured for Iris to follow him into the study off the foyer. Leading the way, he opened the door for her and shut it behind them after she entered timidly. A whiff of scent followed her, something sweet and floral. He tried not to breathe it in as she turned to face him, blue eyes wary behind her glasses, but it teased at his senses nonetheless.

And that pissed him off.

Two

Iris Silverman couldn’t believe this was her life.

When Heidi told her that Seger and Dylan were going with their dad for a majority of the summer, she’d immediately begun to wonder what she was going to do with herself for a couple of months. Heidi had quickly answered that question for her. I want you to go with them.

Iris’s head had nearly spun off her shoulders. But not in excitement. In absolute dizzying terror.

Heidi and Elijah Vance had been divorced for three years, and Iris had come on board in Heidi’s employ after the animosity between them had cooled somewhat. She hadn’t been around Eli that much. He spent most of his time in the studio; Heidi complained often and loudly about how much of a workaholic he had always been, even now. When he wasn’t behind a soundboard or in the vocal booth, he was on tour. He didn’t see the boys nearly often enough, Heidi said, but now that he was making an effort, she wasn’t happy with the way he was going about it.

When they were married, they’d often toured with the kids. But now that those days were over, Heidi was beside herself at the thought of not being around. She hadn’t liked some of the things she’d seen on the road, and she feared Eli wouldn’t be attentive enough or protective enough. Iris didn’t know him, so she had no opinion on that matter. Yet. But he seemed to be adequately perturbed at his ex-wife’s assumption.

Heidi really was a more caring mother than anyone gave her credit for. Even, Iris thought, Elijah himself. But she tended to second-guess her instincts a lot, and she relished her freedom. Maybe a little too much at times.

Iris watched Elijah Vance shut the study door, crossing her arms at the sudden burst of chill bumps that skittered down them. The man had a presence, an innate charisma, and she’d never been alone with him. She swore she would know he was something special even if she’d never met him before. And she wasn’t even a fan of his music—his growling rock was too loud and heavy for her tastes. But she could definitely see his appeal. The long hair, the sultry lips framed with dark scruff. Those piercing, almost otherworldly green eyes.

And dear God, he had caught her listening in on their conversation upstairs. Her cheeks flamed to think of it, and she resisted the urge to reach up and try to rub away the warmth.

I know what you were doing, he said, nailing her with the full force of his eyes. They made a lighter, startling contrast to his jet-black hair and, as he walked closer, she noticed the green was more vivid and springlike just around his pupils. Seger definitely had his dad’s eyes. Dylan, except for his dark hair, looked more like Heidi.

Iris cleared her throat and shifted her weight, dropping her gaze to the floor a few inches in front of Elijah’s stylishly weathered black books. There was really no use denying it, so she didn’t. I’m sorry.

What did you hope to hear in there?

I . . . What had she hoped to hear? She didn’t even know. It had been completely out of line and unprofessional, and she’d deserved for him to tell on her. But he hadn’t. I’m nervous about this whole thing, if you want to know the truth. I guess I was kind of hoping you would . . . shoot it down? And he’d damn sure tried to, so at least they were on the same page there.

Believe me, if I had my way, you wouldn’t be anywhere near me.

Her brow furrowed at the rudeness of his tone. She’d done wrong, sure, and maybe she deserved that too, but she didn’t like it nonetheless. And she could give as good as she got. She shot a glare at him, aware she was walking on thin ice, but it was Heidi who signed her paychecks, not Eli. "Believe me, the feeling is mutual."

Then again, she thought as his expression turned thunderous, who paid Heidi? This man here. Heidi had been in a few TV shows several years back, hot enough to snag a rich, famous husband. Now that her marriage was over, she was more like a professional celebrity girlfriend. Then I suggest you tell your boss to nix this idea. It’s ludicrous.

That’s not my place, sir. She tells me what to do and I do it. It’s my job to look out for those boys, and as much as I don’t like this idea, I intend to do it as part of my job.

I can look out for my own goddamn sons.

No one is saying you can’t.

He began to pace, barely leashed savagery in every step. In the few clips she’d seen of him onstage, he’d stalked that space the same way. I know what she’s doing. She’s looking for ammunition. If she had her way, I’d never—

Excuse me, but I don’t think this is appropriate.

His eyes flashed angrily at her, the green on fire. "Isn’t it? She’s sending you along to be her spy."

Iris stepped back in astonishment. "Her spy?"

Yeah. And looks like you’ve already started, though you kind of suck at your job so far. He gestured toward the ceiling, indicating what had just happened upstairs.

"I know that was highly inappropriate, and I apologize. I can assure you it won’t happen again. But to spy on you . . . no, nothing at all was said about that."

Hopefully he wasn’t a human lie detector.

You let me know if anything shady goes down, Iris. Promise me. I want to know what he does, where he goes . . .  The list had gone on. Who he fucks had been in there too. And while Iris had reluctantly given her assent, she’d wondered if she would be able to go through with it. Who the man slept with was his business, right? She was only the nanny. As long as his behavior wasn’t having a negative effect on the kids, why did Heidi need to know about it?

If he kept pissing her off, though . . .

And if he kept looking at her that way . . .

Iris licked her lips and longed for escape from this uncomfortable exchange. Was this what the next few weeks would be like? Dealing with his accusations, his hostility? I promise, you don’t have anything to worry about. This is your time with your kids and I’m not looking to infringe on that. I just want to help. That’s why I’m here. And it’ll make Heidi feel better.

So she says. More like it’ll give Heidi time to run off with her boyfriend and drive the paparazzi crazy. He seemed bitter about that. Iris wondered if there were still feelings there. She sometimes wondered if the reverse were also true, despite the nearly constant presence of Heidi’s longtime boyfriend. It was sad when a couple who obviously cared about each other couldn’t make it work. She didn’t think Eli had seriously dated since the divorce. At least, Heidi had never mentioned it, and Heidi would’ve definitely mentioned it.

It wasn’t Iris’s place to get in the middle of things. But whatever else she was, Heidi had been good to her. Maybe Iris’s side job on this tour was getting him to see that the mother of his children wasn’t such a bad person. High-maintenance, maybe. Selfish at times, okay. But who was perfect? No one. Certainly not him, certainly not Iris.

Then again, Iris only worked for Heidi; she’d never had to be married to the woman. None of this is my business. Only the kids. Only they are my business. But only good could come of creating a stable atmosphere for those boys.

Her only motive that I’m aware of is to make sure Seger and Dylan are okay, Mr. Vance.

Cut the ‘Mr. Vance’ shit.

Mr. Jackass. How about that? Okay.

When I’m with my kids, I got it. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear you. I don’t need fucking supervised visits. That was never a part of our divorce agreement.

Understood. But—

"Understand this. If Heidi’s so fucking worried about what I’m doing, she can come herdamnself. Not that there’s a fat chance in fuck of that happening, but your being there and on her payroll is the next worst thing."

I’m not your enemy. I’m not trying to be.

You’re damn sure not my friend.

Iris swallowed past the nervous lump in her throat. She couldn’t say she’d ever been shut into a room with an angry, ranting rock star before. And she didn’t have to be. This was her boss’s house. It wasn’t his. Not anymore. But she had to find some way to get along with this man for the next two months. She wasn’t sure she knew how to do it. Her specialty was kids, not their jerkwad parents. Okay, well, I think this conversation is over. We obviously aren’t going to reach an agreement on things today.

That’s probably the only thing we agree on. He turned for the door and snatched it open, strode out into the foyer. Iris practically ran after him, feeling she could breathe again for the first time since he’d shut them into the dark-paneled room. No sooner had she crossed the threshold than the front door opened, and Heidi’s boyfriend strolled in as if he owned the place. The two men came practically face-to-face.

Oh . . . fudge.

After years in the business, Nicolas Steele was Hollywood’s darling up-and-comer. Iris could scarcely believe she was, at this moment, standing in a room with two very famous men. Two men who might come to blows if the animosity building between them reached a boiling point. Iris could practically cut the tension with a knife, but just as she was about to flee upstairs for Heidi’s intervention, Eli broke eye contact with the shorter man, drew a deep breath, and turned for the living room. Boys. His voice sounded strained. Go get your stuff.

Nic glanced at Iris and gave her a wink, as if to say it was all good. She smiled at him and bolted for the front door. Get me the heck out of here.

Her silver SUV sat in the wide circular driveway, and she all but sprinted to it, escaping into the silent sanctuary. It was one of her favorite places to be, in her car, and she didn’t care if that was a little weird. Sometimes, she just liked to drive. Far. Away from everything. She would go around the country if she could, sightseeing. And then it occurred to her that she was getting that chance in a way, even if she wasn’t the one behind the wheel. She would definitely miss her vehicle.

People around all the time. Elijah Vance around all the time. God, could she do this?

As she was thinking it, he walked out of the house with his kids, laughing. Dylan had jumped onto his back, arms wrapped around his neck, giggling wildly as he got a piggyback ride. Seger sauntered along behind them with that exasperated eleven-year-old distaste. For the first time since she’d laid eyes on him today, Eli looked happy, carefree, and the transformation was a miraculous one. She would never have thought this was the same man she’d faced in that study barely five minutes ago, all thunder gone from his expression. And he was damn good-looking when he smiled that way, his eyes crinkling up at the corners, dimples digging boyishly into his cheeks.

Iris sucked in a breath and cast her eyes down to her lap, lest he spot her and think she was spying again. She fished her phone out of her bag and sat staring blindly at it until she heard the muffled sounds of him and the boys getting into his ‘67 Mustang Fastback: voices fading, doors slamming. She watched the matte black car—one of many mint condition classics Iris knew he owned, this one murdered out—purr its way around the circle and finally disappear down the driveway.

She almost wanted to follow, to get a firsthand peek at how he really was with the kids, far away from the stresses of his ex-wife and her lover, but that wasn’t a great idea.

She would get her chance soon enough.

Three

Elijah watched Dylan cannonball into the pool and wondered how he’d gotten so lucky.

They’d had their ups and downs over the last few years. But hearing his kids’ laughter now made everything worth it. They’d gone to a movie, played some video games, even had a little batting practice at the cages. Seger had worked on his pitching. Kid had a cannon on him. Now the sky was ablaze with orange and pink and Elijah was tired, but it was a pleasant tired. He wished he could borrow a little of his sons’ energy for the tour—they were still going strong: swimming laps, diving, running, roughhousing. Eli was kicked back on the patio making sure they didn’t drown each other.

Now, away from the heaviness of his old house and the memories it held, out here in the warm early summer air where he could breathe, he was almost ashamed he’d been such an asshole to the nanny today. She’d looked scared to death, and whatever orders Heidi had given, it wasn’t Iris’s fault. He might even have been feeling generous enough to apologize to her, but he damn sure didn’t care to call Heidi to get her number . . . even though that would make his ex-wife think, wouldn’t it? The idea made him chuckle.

He didn’t like an outsider infringing on his time. He imagined Iris sitting with him now, her prim and proper glasses perched on her pert little nose, and all traces of mirth left him. She would probably be horrified the kids were running around the pool right now. Aghast that he’d let them load up on soda and candy at the movies. Chewing his ass out for not making them wear face masks when they played catch.

Please. They were kids, for fuck’s sake, and they were his kids, and he’d had a blast doing all of that shit when he was little, and he was still kicking. So what if a fly ball had broken his nose once? He should have caught it.

Of course, Iris’s diatribe only played out in his mind’s eye; he didn’t know if she would be outraged over those things or not. He could just see those crossed arms and her looking down her nose at him, like a teacher about to smack his hand with a ruler.

Frowning, he shifted his weight in his seat, wondering why that image was kind of hot.

That was certainly an attraction he didn’t need, but it did give him an idea.

There was no doubt about it: Iris was cute. She was about to be a piece of meat in a lion’s den, surrounded on all sides by horny-ass rock stars who would fuck anything that could bend over. If he could hook her up with someone, she might be out of his hair for a while. And if she even thought about feeding information to his ex-wife, then Heidi might learn her precious paragon wasn’t so angelic after all.

Two could play at this game.

But in the meantime, Eli just couldn’t wait to hear what his bandmates would say about him bringing Heidi’s nanny on tour. Jesus. Kill me now.

THE WORST THING ABOUT her job, Iris often thought, was not being able to talk about it.

No one could even know who she worked for. Not friends, not family. All a part of a non-disclosure agreement she had signed with Heidi when she was hired. She had no one to vent to, no one to agonize with over the summer ahead of her. Not that anyone would feel sorry for her. Sara, her best friend, would absolutely flip out if she knew Iris was touring with Elijah Vance this summer. She was a rock fan and had actually seen him in concert before.

How fun would it be to arrange a meet-up between the two of them? But it would never happen.

Iris eyed Sara over their martinis and ached so much to tell her about everything that she almost couldn’t force the words back down her throat. Specifics aside, however, her friend was going to need to know that she would be absent for two months, or Sara would have the police looking for her.

So . . . I have some news.

Sara’s hazel eyes—currently surveying the restaurant for eligible men—swung to Iris and widened slightly in enthusiasm. Yeah? Good?

That’s debatable. Iris took a sip to fortify her courage, though she feared it might dull her wits. This could get tricky.

Uh-oh. Spill. Sara leaned forward, all ears.

It seems my job is taking me away for a couple of months.

Sara knew she was a nanny for a high-profile person. But that was all. "Oh my God! Did you say months? It’s loud in here." She put a hand to her ear as if she were hard of hearing.

Iris nodded. Months.

Like a vacation?

Not exactly. I just wanted you to know I’ll be gone.

You don’t look very happy about it.

I’m not, if you must know.

"Is this something your average person wouldn’t be happy about? Or just something you aren’t happy about?"

Iris had to laugh. Sara knew her too well sometimes. That’s hard to answer. Who is your average person?

Say I’m your average person.

"You would be happy about it." God, would you ever. Elijah wouldn’t know what hit him. Even sadder than never being able to introduce Sara to him, though, was the fact that Iris couldn’t warn her friend that one of her favorite singers in the world had a streak of colossal a-hole in him. Oh well. It was something she would have to take to her grave. Sara’s ignorance could be her bliss.

I really envy you, you know that? And while I’m sitting over here nursing my jealousy, you’re taking all this for granted.

Iris sat up straighter, her brows drawing together. I don’t take it for granted. I’m not as . . . affected by it as some people might be. It’s about those kids.

Know any other famous people who are hiring?

You don’t even like kids.

Damn. I forgot. Sara snapped her fingers. Well, I can pretend, right? Put on a movie and throw some snacks at them?

There is sooo much more to it than that. Many times, Iris had almost slipped and said Heidi’s name, or one of the boys’ names. She tried to avoid talking about her job at all. And now that she’d relayed the needed information, she wanted to steer the conversation away. Falling into Elijah Vance’s arms earlier today would be the only professional gaffe she would allow herself. He sure smelled good, though. Expensive. Like leather and sin. Anyway. When I drop off the face of the earth in a couple of weeks, you’ll know why.

Wait, I won’t hear from you at all? Isn’t that, I don’t know, weird?

It’s not, really. You’ll hear from me, just maybe not as often. I’m not sure what breaks I’ll get, or when.

God. I hope they pay you well.

She had no complaints. Sometimes this job consumed her life but, sadly, she didn’t have much of one to consume. Sara was her favorite date, and as far as her family, she was never inclined to visit them. Like ever.

There are definite perks. Like you said, I guess the average person would jump at this.

I’m rethinking being an average person. The average person probably likes kids, Sara said.

It’s kind of a requirement for the survival of our species.

Ha! The world is overpopulated. I don’t know, maybe I would like my own kids if I ever have any. But can I just say I respect the hell out of you? It must take a lot to put your life on hold for someone else’s family.

Iris reflected on that in silence, sipping her drink. She was pretty much on call 24/7. If Heidi had a thing come up at this very moment, as often happened, Iris would abandon their meal and run to her side. Rain or shine, weekday or weekend. But in return, she’d gotten to take some fabulous vacations with the family. She had days off when Eli took the boys—while not necessarily rare, she sometimes wished for a little more frequency there. She loved Seger and Dylan, but she needed a break from someone else’s life every now and then. She valued her quiet time.

Something she wouldn’t get much of on a tour. On a bus. With rowdy boys and a surly rock star. Ugh.

Sara was scrutinizing her through narrowed eyes. "I’m dying—actually dying—for details. You’re too good an employee."

Not really. I did get busted eavesdropping on my boss. But hey, Heidi wanted her to hone her snooping skills, so what better time than the present? Not really. I sort of got in trouble. She could divulge that much, at least. She supposed.

Ooh, do tell.

Iris shrugged. I was interested in a conversation about this . . . thing coming up. I was listening through a door. And I got caught.

Sara laughed. That’s awesome.

"It was not awesome. I felt so bad."

Oh, come on. Immaculate Iris has to fuck up every now and then, right? It makes the rest of us feel better about ourselves.

I really do hate it when you call me that.

"Then you should work a little harder to make me not call you that. Maybe this was a first step. Give me something else. Let your hair down a little when you go do this thing, whatever it is, and tell me all about it. What you can, anyway."

Fat chance of that. My hair will stay up. What kind of role model would she be for those boys if she partied it up? Not to mention, Elijah would probably love any excuse to get Heidi to let her go. He’d looked at her like something gross he’d found stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

And why shouldn’t he, really? He thought she was a snoop. He wasn’t wrong.

She didn’t understand why it nagged at her so much.

Sara usually made Iris feel better, but not tonight. She left her friend after dinner with anxiety gnawing in the pit of her stomach, making her nearly sick as she drove home. I can’t do this echoed through her head, no matter how she tried to silence that voice. She had even expressed that concern to Heidi before Elijah had found her with her ear to the bedroom door. Now she was even more certain. Heidi had waved off her worries. You’ll have fun once you get out there, she’d said airily, then reminded Iris of all the cities she would