When Meredith goes out to pick up dinner and also take a break from Alison haranguing her to process her abusive childhood the way Alison (who only became fully conscious of her own about three days ago) thinks she should, Mr. Parker sneaks into the house, accosts Alison, and starts trying to talk her into returning to Billy so that she can keep up appearances for the sake of the family, as she's always done in the past. Little does he know that Meredith has a gun! And Billy is also there, suddenly, to help, kind of! In the aftermath, Alison wants to talk about pressing charges against Mr. Parker, but Meredith just wants to cut ties, again, and put this unpleasantness behind them. Once they're back in L.A., Billy eventually tells Alison he thinks Meredith is right. But does Alison? Kimberly rushes to Michael's bedside straight from having spent several hours all alone at the USC library, just in time for him to go in for emergency surgery on his cerebral swelling! Sydney gets home to find the complex swarming with cops and realizes Kimberly has followed through on one of her many murder plots -- and that this one implicated Jane! But when she goes to talk to Jane in jail, she finds out Jane suspects Sydney did it! ...Which she might have, if Kimberly hadn't realized Sydney was too skittish and proceeded without her. Anyway, Sydney doesn't have an alibi, Michael doesn't have any memory of his life before waking up after surgery, and Jane doesn't have any reason NOT to throw suspicion on Sydney. Jake pulls an "I choose me" on Amanda and Jo, swearing off relationships, only to get entangled IMMEDIATELY with Brittany (Kathy Ireland!) (?), a woman fleeing a rich, powerful, abusive husband with lots of sketchy connections. We hope we anticipate all possible questions you may have about "I Am Curious (Melrose)" in our latest podcast! JOIN THE AWT CLUB

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NOTES

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"The Men Of Melrose Place" at EW.com