Reclaimed Dreams: Exposed Dreams

By Eva Moore

RECLAIMED DREAMS
When the death of her eldest son calls into question a lifetime of choices, Jo Valenti reaches an uncomfortable conclusion. She is through putting her dreams on hold for everyone else's ambitions. Unfortunately, her husband of forty years, Dom did not get the message. Grasping at straws to restore stability, he signs up the entire family for a home renovation reality show, when his marriage is the real fixer upper in need of attention. Will decades of shared love and memories crumble under the weight of grief and resentment, or will these two figure out how to reclaim their dreams?

Reclaimed Dreams is a family drama, fixer upper romance featuring grown-ass lovers trying to save their marriage after loss. It can be read as a stand-alone, but is best appreciated after reading Opened Up, Stripped Down, and Roughed In.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Eva Moore
• Release date: Jan 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781950345045

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

5 years ago

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The evening had begun like every other Friday night in recent memory. Jo Valenti had turned her Alfredo sauce down to low and dropped the fettuccine into the boiling salty water. Dinner was almost ready. Sofia was on the phone in the living room. Enzo and Frankie were already curled up in the family room in front of the TV. She sighed and looked at the one chair at the table that would not be filled tonight. Maybe Christmas, he’d said on their last call.

When Gabe and her nephew, Seth, had joined the army together, she knew they’d be stationed far away for a few years. In the end, she’d sent them off with hugs and smiles, because she knew what it was to have dreams that needed chasing. So even though her heart was breaking, she’d pushed her fears aside and given what was needed. The fact that the cousins were as close as brothers and wouldn’t be going alone had brought a small measure of comfort.

But that didn’t mean her heart didn’t still pinch when she looked at Gabe’s empty seat. She still set his place, because often his high school friends or army buddies would drop by for dinner. Her Friday dinners were famous among her children’s friends. Others might sit in it, but it would always be Gabe’s spot, waiting for him to come home.

The doorbell rang, announcing guests, and when Dom walked in to the kitchen with two men in uniform, Jo assumed they were friends of Gabe’s, come for dinner. Her son usually tried to give her a heads-up when people were going to drop by, but it wasn’t always possible due to his deployment. He was currently stationed in Iraq, and to say it was remote was an understatement.

She turned to the sink to fill a pan with water to steam the vegetables and called into the living room. Fi, come add some places to the table. Welcome, boys. I hope you’re hungry. Did Gabe send you?

The two servicemen stood silent in her kitchen, hats in their hands. Dom waved a hand toward the table.

Come, sit. Can I get you boys a drink? he asked.

No, sir. Thank you. Maybe you and your wife should take a seat.

Jo registered the serious set of their faces and slowly lowered herself into the nearest chair. It would occur to her later that she’d chosen Gabe’s chair.

The Secretary of the Army regrets to inform you that your son, Gabriel Valenti, was killed yesterday in the Ninewa Province, Iraq…

Her ears stopped working after that. She could see the man still talking, as though his words hadn’t just shattered her world. She saw Dom collapse into a chair and cradle his head on the table, shoulders shaking. Sofia, Enzo, and Frankie came running, and when the taller soldier spoke to them, they burst into tears and circled the sibling wagon into a tight hug. The shorter soldier stepped close and placed a hand on Jo’s shoulder. His lips were moving, but she couldn’t hear anything over the buzzsaw in her head. Her baby, the boy who’d made her a mother, was dead. What more could he say?

The child she’d held in her heart had died, and Jo felt the severed connection pulsing through every vein in her body. Part of her was dying along with him, and it burned.

Jo closed her eyes. She couldn’t bear it. She didn’t want to hear this. She didn’t want to see this. Even the feel of the hard wooden chair against her back overwhelmed her. Everything was too much, too real. But how could any of this be real? She opened her eyes to double check and the two soldiers were still sitting at the table. The soldier that she wanted to see wasn’t ever coming home.

It was too horrific to be a nightmare. The pain of this new reality was too much to handle all at once. Jo felt a little click in her brain as it shifted to protect her, a brittle wall forming around her heart, containing her emotions so they couldn’t swirl out and level the room like a hurricane. Numb was the only way she could get through this day. Later, she would let it all out, but this grief was too raw, too painful to share.

She had to do something, so she did what she always did. Jo pushed herself up from the table. She pulled a tray of cheese and salami from the fridge and placed it on the table in front of the men. She filled water glasses for everyone. She dumped the overcooked pasta into the strainer and filled the pot with fresh water.

Step by step, she pulled herself into her reality by doing the next right thing. The things she did every day of her life. The things that formed the structure and routine of her life. The things she could do without thought.

She allowed her mind to stay far, far away from the unreality that Gabe was gone.

By the time she served up warm noodles in a scorched Alfredo sauce, the two men had gone and the rest of her family sat stone-faced around the table, completely still as if movement would make them all shatter. She understood that stillness. It felt like a kind of death in itself. It mirrored the feeling in her chest.

No one ate.

No one spoke.

The spark had blown out of her family.

That night in bed, she let the tears come. She cried as memories of Gabe’s too-short life cycled through her head like a highlight reel. She wept for all of his present moments she’d missed with him so far away. She sobbed for the memories she would never get to have. She’d never dance at his wedding, hold his children in her arms, or even just see him walk through her front door again. They wouldn’t be together at Christmas this year or any year. He wouldn’t take over Valenti Brothers. He wouldn’t watch Sunday football with Dom and his siblings. He wouldn’t wrap her up in a bear hug and tuck her head under his chin ever again.

Tears soaked her pillowcase as her brain tortured her with loss after loss. She turned to Dom for comfort, but he had already escaped into sleep.

She was alone with her thoughts and prayed for oblivion. She also prayed for God to watch over the child he’d taken home again too soon. God had made a mistake. Jo knew it, just as she knew it was blasphemy to think it.

So little time… Nothing was guaranteed. She had planned on having years and years with her family to experience all of those milestones. But she could die tomorrow.

Would she be content with her life’s highlight reel if that happened?

No.

She was proud of the family she’d raised, but this had just proven how fragile it all really was. What had she done beyond tying shoes and packing lunches? All of the goals and plans she’d once had, all of them had slipped to the side as her family had needed her. She’d accomplished nothing. Now, when grief was weighing heavily on her heart, she had nothing, no life raft, no buoy to lift her back up. She sank deeper and deeper under the weight of her thoughts, until sleep finally claimed her.

Dom lay on his side in the dark pretending to sleep. He’d heard Jo turn to him but hadn’t rolled over to face her. He couldn’t. He wanted to be strong for her, but his foundation had been deeply shaken in a heartbeat. He wasn’t structurally sound anymore. He could barely support his own grief let alone anyone else’s.

He’d sat stunned at the table, long after the soldiers had left, unable to speak or move. What could he say? How could the world just keep on turning? How had Jo managed to pull together dinner? He’d had barely enough strength to stand and get himself to bed. For the first time, he hadn’t been able to push through the pain to be there for his family, and he felt that failure deeply.

His firstborn son. His baby boy. His hope for the future. Gone.

Gabe was supposed to take the reins of Valenti Brothers, of the family, of everything. Dom knew that sounded old-fashioned, but of all his kids, Gabe was the most like him. Loud, brash, fearless, and strong-minded… It had been a challenge to raise him. But usually they were in lockstep, in line with each other. Gabe joining the army was the first big thing they’d argued about.

Dom understood the impulse to serve his country, but he’d had plans that involved Gabe being home. He’d recognized that stubborn set jaw though, and had eventually come around on the whole army plan. Hell, he’d even helped convince Jo that everything would be fine. He wished like hell he’d fought harder, found the right words to convince Gabe to stay.

God, how could he face her now? Did she blame him? He blamed himself.

It was all he could do to listen to Jo cry and not hold her. Having been part of the reason Gabe left, he couldn’t imagine Jo wanted his cold words of comfort. He didn’t know if he even had those in him right now.

How could he support his family if he was this weak? He’d never felt so powerless in his entire life.

He’d find a way. He’d have to be stronger, harder than before, but he’d find a way. Dom could make them all strong enough to survive this. He just needed to be more forceful, more in control. If I’d been stronger, would Gabe be alive today? Regret and guilt gnawed like rats in the pit of his stomach.

He’d do everything in his power to keep the rest of his family safe.

Soon.

Tomorrow.

CHAPTER 2

2 years ago

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Jo pulled the lasagna from the oven with a little shimmy of her hips. Tonight was the night. Dom had been hinting all week that he had big news to share at the family dinner this week. She couldn’t wait.

After losing Gabe, Jo had fallen into a deep depression. She’d stopped working, stopped going out of the house at all. It had been a difficult time, but she’d clawed her way back to the land of the living. God bless grief counselors and modern medications. One core realization from that time had really stayed with her: time was not guaranteed.

She’d vowed to make the most of whatever time she had left. She had embraced a seize the day mentality and hoped that Dom would finally join her. She wanted to seize their future together. They weren’t getting any younger, and Jo was done being tied down to the family business. Now was her chance to finally chase her dreams. It was past time to sell it or let the kids take it over. She’d already stepped down as office manager and had put her real estate business on hold.

And tonight, Dom was going to leave Valenti Brothers as well.

Daydreaming of the future, Jo glanced at the clock. She automatically pulled a few marinated mushrooms off the antipasti tray for Sofia, who was running late, before putting the tray out on the counter. Jo hated that Fi had basically stepped in to fill her shoes at Valenti Brothers. She wanted so much more for her daughter than the fate she’d had, stuck in a job she was good at but didn’t love. Maybe tonight would free them both. She took the tray into the family room where the horde descended like a pack of wolves.

She returned to her sanctuary in the kitchen, sipping her favorite wine, the Montepulciano Dom had suggested she open tonight. Her mind wandered back to the cold California beach where she’d fallen in love with the wine and the man. She remembered that night like it was yesterday.

I love you, Jo, and we’ll figure this out. I’m not going to lose you.

He’d given her the words then, and she’d learned the truth in them over the many years of their marriage. He’d worked so hard to keep that promise. Yes, she’d made sacrifices for the family and the business too, but they’d made their lives work together.

Her mind continued to wander as she chopped veggies for the salad. If she could do anything now, what would it be? The list was long, but where would she start?

Travel was at the top of her list. She wouldn’t lie. Seeing Tony and Elena jaunting all over Europe made her wild with jealousy. She pictured Dom at her side on the balcony of an Italian villa, sipping red wine and watching the sunset. She wanted that reality. She was sure she could get him through his fear of flying for at least one trip.

Then she wanted to come home and actually spend time with the Dom she fell in love with. She hoped he was still in there somewhere, buried under the years of fatherhood and breadwinner stress. He’d gotten quieter and quieter since…well, since things had changed. Maybe having fewer responsibilities would bring the man she’d married back to her.

And she wanted to work with kids again. She’d never forgotten the joy she’d felt in her classroom, helping a child learn to read. She wasn’t quite sure how she planned to recapture that feeling now, but she’d figure that out.

She glanced at the clock again. Sofia better get her butt through that door soon or Jo was going to burst from anticipation. She was beyond ready for Dom’s announcement!

As if summoned by her mother’s anxiety, Sofia arrived, Seth in tow, razzing her.

I was getting worried. You should have called.

I got caught up at the office. Sofia leaned in to kiss her cheek in her habitual greeting.

That office… Enough, I won’t get into that now. I hid some mushrooms in the fridge for you. Jo patted Sofia on the back and nudged her toward the kitchen.

You are the best mother ever. I am sorry I was late. Last-minute snag on the Chu project that I had to untangle.

Bah! Nothing is more important than family. Come. Sit. She turned and yelled, pitching her voice toward the raucous family room. Time to eat! Everyone washes.

Jo pushed aside her guilt at having left Sofia holding her old job and hustled everyone to the table. She listened to their conversation with half an ear as she loaded the table.

Hey Seth, where’s Zia Elena and Zio Tony? Sofia asked.

They decided to extend their European holiday by a week. Apparently Spain was too tempting to miss, Seth replied.

And Brandy?

She’s working the evening shift at Flipped to cover for someone out sick. She’s sorry to miss this.

You’ll take her a plate. Jo scooped a square of lasagna onto a plate, setting it aside, and caught Seth wiggling his eyebrows.

Yes, ma’am. I sure will.

I will call her tomorrow to ask how it was.

His tone dropped comically like a scolded child. Yes, ma’am.

God, Ma. This is delicious. Sofia closed her eyes and moaned.

Thank you, sweetheart. I wanted to do something a little special for your father’s announcement. She raised her glass with a secret smile for her husband of forty years.

So, Ma, made any travel plans lately? Sofia teased.

You know I won’t go anywhere without your father. But I was talking to Elena the other day. She switched her gaze to Seth as she spoke of his mother. She was filling me in on all the details of their time in Italy. She was quite taken with all the vineyards. It sounds beautiful in the summer. We’ll see.

Dom cleared his throat, immediately drawing the attention of everyone at the table. I’m officially calling this family meeting to order. You all know that Jo and I have been talking about retiring for the last few years.

Jo let her smile escape and stretch wide across her face. Here we go!

I’m not convinced that the business is in a strong enough position for me to walk away. People come to us because of the reputation Tony and I spent our lives building. If we just leave, I worry that the work will drop off.

But Dad, the Valley is booming! Frankie’s outburst was cut off with a firm slice of his hand.

I also can’t see a clear successor to take over running the business. So I’ve decided to kill all the birds with one stone. We’re doing a TV show.

Jo set down the wineglass she’d raised in preparation for a toast. What do you mean a TV show? Her voice was shrill, but she was beyond caring.

A producer approached me a few weeks ago.

Jo’s temper flared. A few WEEKS? You’ve been thinking about this for weeks and didn’t see fit to discuss it with me? Does Tony know?

Dom turned to the rest of the table, ignoring her question, shutting her out. Jo sank into a cold silence as he kept explaining the plan to their children, as if her concerns didn’t matter. She held her silence while her children jumped into the conversation with their usual chaotic zeal. Her heart held its tongue as her mind struggled to find a way to excuse this disrespect. Again. But she couldn’t.

She couldn’t make another excuse for her husband who had so clearly locked her out of the decision-making process.

It wouldn’t be until much later, after the kids had gone and the dishes had been washed and her house was quiet, that she would realize the gift of running out of excuses. It meant she’d also run out of fucks. He’d cut her out? Fine. She’d stop making her decisions with him in mind. He refused to join her? That was fine too. She’d stop waiting.

29 years ago

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Nurse the baby, change her diaper, feed the toddler, clean up the mess left by the toddler, convince the toddler that peeing out in the yard was fine for dogs but not for little boys, nurse the baby again, put everyone down for naps, fold three shirts out of the laundry pile that had consumed her couch before someone started crying, pull the toddler out of the baby’s crib, wonder how the hell he’d gotten in there in the first place, soothe the baby, distract the toddler, feed everyone again.

Jo was slowly losing her mind.

Her days had been reduced to a simple loop, managing tiny dictators’ bodily functions. Eat, poop, sleep, repeat.

Jo never thought she’d long for the days of organized chaos in her classroom, but here she was. At least everyone there had been able to wipe their own butts! She rubbed her chest to erase the guilt that scrawled across her heart. How could she be anything but happy with her two beautiful children?

After their first loss, they had tried so hard for baby Gabe. It had taken a few years, and then they’d immediately started trying for another, afraid it would take just as long to get pregnant again. But it hadn’t. And now she had an infant and a toddler. How could she wish for even a second of the life she’d had before? These babies were miracles. But Jo couldn’t deny that the days of eating hot food and showering regularly looked real tempting.

Dom had been working so hard to make this year of her staying home from work possible, while still trying to save money for their company, that she felt ungrateful for complaining. Having two babies in three years had really strained their finances, and he was making so many sacrifices to give her something she suddenly wasn’t sure she wanted. The ingratitude smacked her in the face, so Jo kept her frustrations to herself.

Even Elena was constantly reminding her how lucky she was to stay home with her children. Maybe she’d feel that way too if they’d start letting her sleep through the night.

She looked up at the clock, willing it to move faster, but it stayed stubbornly pointed at three. Three more hours and a dinner to prepare before she’d get a breather.

Dom tried to help. He always scooped up the babies after he’d showered off the day. But the scant fifteen minutes of quiet she got before it was time to start the bedtime routine weren’t cutting it.

Fussy cries called her back into the nursery. Sleep-tousled blonde curls stuck out like a halo around Sofia’s head as she let her discomfort be known. Gabe slept on through her petulant tears, for which Jo was supremely grateful.

What is it, baby girl? Jo whispered. Do you need your diaper changed? She lifted Fi from the crib and gave her a quick nuzzle before laying her back on the changing table to remove the offending diaper. With one hand on Sofia’s belly, Jo reached for a fresh diaper, only to discover that the bag was empty. She managed to toe the backup pack out from under the table and open it one-handed. Well, teeth were involved, but she did it without letting go of the baby and that still counted as a win. A feral win, but a win all the same.

Flush with her success, she turned her triumphant smile back to Sofia, who was wearing a happy grin of her own….because she’d managed to pee and poop on the changing pad in the meantime.

Oh, come on! Jo muttered, barely managing not to swear in front of the baby, although would she really understand anyway? Still, it was better to not break that seal, or Gabe’s first sentence would have to be censored from his baby book. Switching back to her baby-soothing voice, she