Rainbows and Clouds

By Erika M Szabo

Short stories about life’s humorous, happy, and dark moments.
Some of the stories are from my years in nursing, Steve's clumsiness and my cooking disasters might make you spit out your coffee laughing. The stories of my pets will put a warm smile on your face, and the stories about life's darker moments might make you wipe a tear or two.
Rainbows and dark clouds are part of life,
Without darkness there can be no light.
Without moments that make us cry,
We can’t enjoy moments that make us smile.
Without moments that make us laugh,
We can’t get through moments that make us sad.
~Erika M Szabo

Editorial review:
The Rainbows and Clouds by Erika M Szabo is a collection of fun anecdotes, heartwarming stories, and slice-of-life tales that evoke a wide range of emotions. It's impossible to choose a favorite story because I loved them all, particularly the tales that explored the challenges of having a pet. There are several stories within this collection that explore the best - and the worst - of humanity. We are reminded that not everything, or everyone, is what they appear to be and that the best things in life are often surprises. I would absolutely recommend this book to everyone! It truly is something special.
~Tricia Drammeh

• Language: English
• Publisher: Erika M Szabo
• Release date: Dec 13, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463997277

Erika M Szabo

Erika became an avid reader at a very early age, thanks to her dad who introduced her to many great books. Erika writes alternate history, romantic fantasy, magical realism novels as well as fun, educational, and bilingual books for children ages 4-12 about acceptance, friendship, family, and moral values such as accepting people with disabilities, dealing with bullies, and not judging others before getting to know them.

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Rainbows and Clouds

Copyright © Erika M Szabo, 2018

Published by Golden Box Books Publishing

www.goldenboxbooks.com

Edited by Tricia Drammeh www.triciadrammeh.com/

Book cover art, illustrations, book formatting, and book interior design by Erika M Szabo

www.authorerikamszabo.com

Picture credits: the photographs and clip-art used in the books and to create the book covers were purchased from Fotolia and Shutterstock and from Pixabay for commercial use.

The licenses to use pictures for book cover and illustrations are purchased by the author. The drawings and painting were created by the author.

This is a fictional work. The names, characters, incidents, places, and locations are solely the concepts and products of the author’s imagination or are used to create a fictitious story and should not be construed as real.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations, reviews, and articles.

Life is Smiles and Tears

Rainbows and dark clouds are part of life,

Without darkness there can be no light.

Without moments that make us cry,

We can’t enjoy moments that make us smile.

Without moments that make us laugh,

We can’t get through moments that make us sad.

~Erika M Szabo

STORIES FROM A NURSE

A drawing of a person Description automatically generated

I’VE BEEN A NURSE ALL my adult life. Taking care of the sick is hard, challenging, yet the most rewarding profession. Sometimes I cry with the patients but sometimes it makes me giggle when things turn out funny because of a simple misunderstanding.

When a Nurse Is Trying Not to Laugh Out Loud

I CHECKED ON MY PATIENT at lunchtime and I saw that she didn’t touch her meat. I asked, Are you a vegetarian? She looked at me and replied, No, I’m Presbyterian.

^^

As I placed my stethoscope on an elderly, hard of hearing lady’s chest, I instructed her, Take big breaths. She sighed and said, Yeah, they used to be firm too.

^^

After all heroic measures in the ER, the doctor had to tell the wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. She cried, and the nurse walked her out to the waiting room where her family waited anxiously. Sobbing, she told her family that her husband had died of a massive internal fart.

^^

A woman came in with upper abdominal pain and nausea, and I was giving her the ordered medication. I have the medication for your stomach. It’s called Pepcid, I said.

She thought for a second and asked, You’re kidding, right? I bet the hospital will charge me hundreds for a can of Pepsi that I could get from the soda machine for a dollar!

^^

In triage, I asked an elderly man about his medical history. When I asked if he has angina, he indignantly replied, No, I’m a man! I have a penis.

^^

A young boy was wheeled through the door by the EMT. The boy was on his stomach, crying in pain. Another boy about 13-14 years old trailed behind them, rubbing his face in distress, and cried out, I’m in trouble! I’m in so much trouble! Are you okay Joe? He rushed up and looked his buddy in the eye. I hope you’re okay because I’m in big trouble!

Joe barked at him angrily, You bet your ass you’re in big trouble! You shot me!

I looked at the EMT, who couldn’t keep a straight face and blurted out, No, it wasn’t a gun. His buddy shot him in the butt with a nail gun.

^^

I was admitting a telemetry patient who had a urine analysis test ordered. I gave him the container with cleansing wipes and told him, The bathroom is there; use the wipe to clean yourself and pee in this cup.

I went back to see him about half an hour later. He handed me the empty, unopened container and said, This is too small, I used the toilet.

^^

I was assessing an elderly man in the ER who was gasping for air, and his nails turned to a bluish color. After I hooked him up to oxygen and the cardiac monitor and checked his vital signs, I typed up my findings on the portable computer while I monitored his oxygenation.

His wife startled me when she came up behind me and yelled, He’s not an SOB, he’s a good man!

Then I realized she was reading my notes on the computer screen and explained to her, Ma’am, S.O.B. means shortness of breath.

The Macho-man

A MAN WAS BROUGHT TO the ER, drunk out of his mind. His wife said he fell off the roof, but luckily the bush he fell onto broke his fall and he got away with lots of superficial cuts, scrapes, and bruises. The doctor ordered a Tetanus booster, so I got the shot and went back to his stretcher.

As soon as he spotted the syringe in my hand, he started screaming, You ain’t gonna do that. No way! It’s gonna hurt!

I sighed and thought, here we go. I’m going to waste ten minutes explaining why he needs the booster and what could be the consequences if he refused to get it. Surprisingly, after only two minutes he agreed to have the injection.

But then came the hard part. Wait until I’m ready! he warned.

Ten minutes were wasted after all, because every time I lifted my hand with the syringe in it, he shrunk back and yelled, Not ready yet!

I couldn’t waste any more time, so I used an old nurse’s trick. I stared at the entrance, moved to block the entrance from his vision and whispered under my breath, Oh my God!

The man perked up, craned his neck to look and asked, What’s going on?

It took me a second to give him the shot while he focused on the door, and I said while putting a band-aid on his arm, All done.

What? he asked and looked at me with such a confused expression on his face that I couldn’t hold back a giggle.

I just gave you the Tetanus booster.

You’re telling me that you gave me the shot? You really gave me the shot! It dawned on him as he touched his arm, wincing. You’re good. Thank you! I didn’t feel a thing! he announced.

On the patient satisfaction survey, he wrote: If anyone needs a shot, they should come to this ER. The best shot I ever had, didn’t feel a thing!

Nurse’s Voice

A LARGE MAN IN THE ER screamed bloody murder after two nurses tried to insert an IV in his arm and failed. The guy threatened to call his lawyer and sue the hospital. He called the nurses incompetent fools, so, because I was the supervisor on that shift, they called me