Bill & Maggie: A Dark Story Of Love

By John Flannery

Bill & Maggie: A Dark Story Of Love is an experimental, darkly comical novella that delves into the mind of Bill Burton who is an unemployable, noisome, deluded, socially isolated, and personality disordered celebrity stalker although he regards himself as a, “distant lover.” He has a streak of dangerous naivety and foolishness running through him. He blindly pursues his beloved Maggie Best who is a very cynical and world-weary television presenter-cum-journalist and B-list celebrity. Bill, who lives in a 29th floor council flat which is so dingy that only Kamikaze flies are crazy enough to enter, convinces himself that his love for Maggie reaches back to the beginning of time and that it will also endure for eternity. A radical romantic and Crazyhead, he strives to transform his carnal and lusty thoughts into action in the form of unhygienic acts of love. Maggie is Bill’s escape route from his horrible life. He regards her as his saviour. He became aware of Maggie in an epiphanic moment whereby he aborted his attempt at suicide when he saw her beautiful smiling face on a poster across the Tube platform from which he was about to leap from. Bill now believes that he has a mystical, telepathic connection with his beloved, Maggie. He calls it ‘channelling.’ He uses this apparent paranormal ability to send his mischievous, obscene thoughts to Maggie when she appears on television. Bill wants to be her saviour by rescuing her from her life of celebrated media mediocrity. He sees her outside the BBC’s New Broadcasting House ostensibly to get an autograph and selfie but he is desperate to simply touch her. After hanging around her smart home in west London for a few days, the fixated Bill makes his initial serious contact with his beloved via letters and emails. He vows to replace Maggie’s “dodgy” boyfriend as quickly as possible. Maggie and her beau privately and viciously mock “Billy The Pervert” and his absurd, soul-baring love letters and emails. Blinded by love, Bill doesn’t realise that the outwardly bubbly Maggie is really a dangerously bored, jaded, foul-mouthed cynic. She hates her growing amount of fans for loving her so much, especially her stalkers past and present.

At first she doesn’t reply to Bill’s letters and emails which he has so conscientiously written for her. Bill begins to hear negative voices in his head criticising Maggie, which could be the early signs of schizophrenia. Bill’s attitude towards Maggie ranges from lovingly lusty to unhinged and obsessive. He is blissfully unaware that Maggie has come up with a very radical way of dealing with her latest stalker. Maggie becomes fascinated by Bill’s letters and emails. Eventually, Maggie pretends to split up with her “dodgy” boyfriend, who Bill hates with a passion, thus bringing Bill closer to her. She admits to her boyfriend that she is more dangerous than Bill. When Bill is tormented by his jealous, negative internal voices he informs her that he will call on her at her home, not realising that he is walking into an ambush. Maggie’s boyfriend decides to leave her because he fears that she is now dangerously obsessed with Bill and that he will therefore be incriminated into any of her criminal behaviour towards Bill. The love-struck Bill meets Maggie at her lovely home. They discuss the apparently absurd content of his letters and emails. Bill reveals to Maggie that he was her protective knight in a previous life and that he will do anything for his lady fair. She uses the captivated Bill to extract revenge on her former boss. Maggie then asks Bill to physically attack her former boyfriend. The situation comes to a head when she lures Bill at midnight to the windswept and bitterly cold Millennium Bridge over the River Thames. Bill senses danger as he approaches his beloved Maggie but he is compelled to realise their shared destiny.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Flannery
• Release date: Nov 3, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463288658

John Flannery

John Flannery was born in 1963. He was brought up in Manchester but he now lives in Fleetwood. John studied Housing Studies at the University of Westminster and graduated in 1992. He decided to become a writer of fiction in 1986 but he did not start writing in earnest until 1995. In 2010 he self-published a collection of short stories entitled Toby's Little Eden and Other Stories that was greeted by a huge tidal wave of public indifference that still overwhelms him to this day. In 2012 he self-published a small collection of short stories called Our Little Secret and Other Stories. He has also published a collection of stries entitled Our Little Secret and Other Stories, a debut novel called God's Gift, and a novella called The Place. In September 2013 John published a novella called Billy Atherton. In November 2013 John published another novella entitled Joshua's Withdrawal. They are all published on Amazon Kindle.

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Bill & Maggie: A Dark Story Of Love

John Flannery

Copyright © John Flannery 2018

Smashwords Edition

To my funny brother, Dave

Death is the highest form of life.

James Joyce

Welcome to my glorious penthouse on the 29th floor! It’s standing proud right on top of a brutal concrete citadel. It’s best viewed from the outside and in pitch black darkness but remember, an Englishman’s home is his castle. I’m very high up physically but I can’t get much lower socially. No, actually I’m sort of middle-class. A lower middle-class lad who has fallen on hard times. Things started to go wrong when I heroically failed all my fucking exams around a decade ago in 2008. But I failed them all in style. I like to do everything in my life with a bit of style. There were some illegal drugs involved in my academic failure but those days are behind me now. I only use the legal drugs these days. I’m looking good tonight. My laid back style is for my special lady, Maggie Best. She’s my soulmate. Everything I say or do to her is an act of love, even when it appears not to be one. Love only speaks the truth from a loving mouth, as someone once said…or did I just say it? Anyway, all of my gear is from my brand new, Bill Burton Summer Collection. Billy, if I can call myself that, is head to toe in black, sweat infused, semen-stained sportswear. My crusty old hoodie doesn’t just stand up on its own, it dances around the room with joyous, smelly abandon. My jogging bottoms are beyond my powers of description. They smell so bad because I had a Wanking Festival a few weeks ago and I can’t be bothered washing them. A tramp would turn them down. Boy, do I crackle and sizzle in my knightly garb. I’m Maggie’s Dark Knight! Or am I? I’m a good man. I’m her White Knight even though it’s only virgins and All England Club players who wear all white in battle. It shows up the blood and dirt. I’m very low-maintenance. To be honest, I don’t believe 100 per cent in all that knight-in-shining-armour bullshit but if it gains me entry into Maggie’s fancy silk knickers then I’ll gladly go along with it. Maggie’s my escape route from my shitty little life. I’m going to sue her for being much too lovely for me. Let’s get one thing clear: I don’t want another shitty job. Maggie’s my secret passage back to a good life. I used to have a wife but she fucked off sharpish when I asserted myself a bit too much one dark and stormy night, oh, two years ago? I don’t know where she is. She’s probably got a new life elsewhere with a much less assertive lad. Why does my one-bedroom council flat stink so grievously? I have a bath once a year whether I need it or not. And I don’t clean the place either. I take out the rubbish now and again but only when the stench of rotting food drives me out of my spotless kitchen. I don’t have a massive fly problem anymore. They fly in through the window, get one sniff of the place, and then they fuck off straight back out again pretty sharpish. Very wise. Afterall, they’re not fucking Kamikazes! I’m very natural, I’m a natural Stinker. I’ve got no baby or dog to blame it on. Wanking over the telly when Maggie’s on it doesn’t help the atmosphere either. The bacteria-level in here is about that of a tramp’s arsehole in high summer. It doesn’t bother me! I’m high in every sense. All those subtle, distinct odours come together to form the overall pong. I call it Eau de Stench, and it adds greatly to the general ambience of my humble abode. Stale sweat. Stale semen. Stale farts. Stale food. Stale everything. A stale life. But Maggie won’t mind. She’ll get used to my smelly feet…and every other stinking part of my life. She’s that sort of woman! She’s very forgiving. I’m up for anything, as usual, except any form of dental work. My mouth is famous for looking like a medieval graveyard because of all the gaping spaces that are between what’s left of my teeth, and the combination of black lichen and green algae that stain the gravestones. My teeth tell a story that can never be told. They’re legendary. They’re mystical. They require a lot more than a scale and polish. It’s a good job my dental treatment is free because I’m on the dole. They need something heroic to be done but I’m no hero. The bill would bankrupt the fucking NHS. Maggie, my ladylove, won’t mind. She’ll take me as I am. Love is blind and I hope it doesn’t have a sense of smell…I hope. I’m not a violent man but don’t look me in the eye when you pass me on the street, especially if I’m in one of the moods. The mood that occur when Maggie is keeping me out of her mind and blocking me out. I love you. Come to me, my love. I love her to bits. I desperately want her. She’s that sort of woman! What’s the worst that could happen to me? Make a cunt of myself? Egg on my face? Prison? The way I see it I’m going to declare my undying love to a big, beautiful woman. What can go wrong? It’s a fucking win-win situation. By the way, I’m a Crazyhead! We’re not that crazy, we just hang around waiting for something to happen to other people…anything. We’re a magnet for minor trouble and strife. If something vaguely interesting happens then we’ll congregate in force. If there is a camera crew anywhere on the street then we will be there in minutes. They’re a fucking Crazyhead magnet! There are loads of us, especially here in London. Where do they get these people? We’re unemployable for a reason. Would you want to work with me? Let me tell you, you fucking don’t! I’ll make that important executive decision for you. Some of us are officially insane but I’m definitely not. I’m the sanest man in the world. All I’ve got is a bijou, untreatable personality disorder. That means that I’ve got much more personality than ordinary folk. I’m not mad, I’m just a bit bad from time to time. I don’t need or want a psychiatrist anymore. I’m not some kind of bog standard psycho. I’m a special case. I’m very privileged. I don’t need or want a job: I need and want Maggie Best. She will make my life a whole lot better, that’s for sure. She’s my world but she defies my powers of description. The