Santa's Kinky Elf, Simon

By Damian Serbu

Santa has big plans to release a story about himself right before Christmas, revealing his true nature as a vampire. He decides the best advanced publicity comes from reality stories and enlists Simon the Elf, a captive former human, to hit Chicago for the holidays and strike up a romance.

Santa wants Simon to document the whole thing, so they can give people a taste for life under Santa's enslavement before the main story hits. Forced to the Second City against his will, Simon at first resists Santa's orders, knowing a romance would be short lived at best, and at worst bring some innocent victim into Santa's evil orbit.

But Simon failed to reckon with the charm and wit of Jonah, a hot guy he meets his first night on the town. Falling hard, Simon takes up with his new love despite knowing the awful choice ahead of him. Santa's Kinky Elf, Simon, tells you this tragic love story in the elf's own words.

• Language: English
• Publisher: NineStar Press, LLC
• Release date: Nov 5, 2018
• ISBN: 9781949909128

Damian Serbu

Damian Serbu lives in the Chicago area with his husband and two dogs, Akasha and Chewbacca. The dogs control his life, tell him what to write, and threaten to eat him in the middle of the night if he disobeys. He previously authored several novels now out of print, and is excited to reignite his writing with Ninestar Press!

Book preview

A NineStar Press Publication

Published by NineStar Press

P.O. Box 91792,

Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87199 USA.

www.ninestarpress.com

Santa’s Kinky Elf, Simon

Copyright © 2018 by Simon the Elf, with Damian Serbu

Cover Art by Natasha Snow Copyright © 2018

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact NineStar Press at the physical or web addresses above or at [e-mail].

Printed in the USA

First Edition

November, 2018

eBook ISBN: 978-1-949909-12-8

Warning: This book contains sexually explicit content, which may only be suitable for mature readers. No HEA/HFN.

Santa’s Kinky Elf, Simon

A Simon the Elf Story

Simon the Elf, with Damian Serbu

Table of Contents

Santa's Kinky Elf, Simon

About the Author

I AMBLE DOWN the hall, taking as much time as possible before getting to Santa’s little chamber. Delay, delay, delay. Not that my reticence will change reality or get me out of whatever he wants. No, here at the ole North Pole, Santa reigns supreme. He’s a vampire, see.

Crap. I realize you may not know the story yet. I spelled it out in Santa Is a Vampire. I wrote the book, though they put some hack named Damian Serbu on the credit line with me. Fuckers. Anyway, you can check it out to get the whole scoop once it comes out, so I’ll cut to the chase here. Santa is a nasty-ass vampire, of the evil variety, and a warlock to boot, with a wicked form of magic.

Simon, now! I hear Santa bellow down the icy hallway. Remember, we’re up here at the North Pole in Santa’s castle, which he hides from the whole world with a powerful concealing spell.

Instead of hurrying me along, the edge in his voice slows me down. Foul mood. No telling what he wants this time. I mean, for a while he called me all the time while he told me his story, but we finished up with our little game once Santa Is a Vampire was finished. So I’m back to being just another one of the elves up here, enslaved against my will, forced to do Santa’s bidding, no longer chumming around with him.

I stop in front of a big cardboard cutout, life-size, I’m telling you, of Santa holding a can of Coke and winking. Ugh. In addition to being a witchy vampire, dude is seriously narcissistic. He collects all sorts of Santa memorabilia and displays it around the ice palace, like this here thing. He finds it hilarious they always depict him smiling and happy with a twinkle in his eye, when really he kills people without regret—innocent people—all the time.

Shit. Here he comes. I dillydallied too long. Hey, buddy! I smile, tilt my head all funny, and wave like I spot my best friend in the world coming down the hall toward me.

Santa grimaces. We’re not buddies. Never have been. Never will be. I thought I called you? No, let me correct my statement. I did call you. He grabs me by the back of the collar and lifts me into the air, then spins around and