Babygirl: Black Butterfly, #1

By Lorna Jackie Wilson

In 1977, siblings Tina, Michelle, and Leon Hilton live with their mother, Catherine, in Detroit. Although times are tough, Catherine does the best she can with the support of her mother-and in spite of the abuse she receives from her boyfriend, Victor. When eleven-year-old Michelle is accidentally injured, a caseworker from Child Protective Services, visits the family. Later, Victor's drug stash is found in their house, and soon the three siblings are taken from their mother and placed into separate foster homes. Over the next several months, Michelle experiences a number of foster homes that lead her to question and challenge the lifestyle and sense of identity that she has experienced so far, significantly affecting her self-esteem, purpose, and well-being. Meanwhile, Catherine works to put her life back together and win back custody of her children. This is the story of a family dealing with physical and emotional abuse, substance addiction, and the foster care system as one girl grows to young adulthood in the face of unusual odds.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lorna Jackie Wilson
• Release date: Oct 10, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386566496

Lorna Jackie Wilson

LORNA JACKIE WILSON is an author from Detroit, Michigan. She has an affinity for lyrical poetry, spoken-word, and courageous conversations that speak to conditions in foster care. She has lived in Michigan most of her life outside of enlistment in the United States Army. She has four beautiful children who support her writing and encourage its continuance. Lorna says, "My family is such an inspiration to me in all of my endeavors and I sincerely appreciate and love them dearly." Lorna's journey continues as she gives back by speaking about foster care experiences and overcoming obstacles. She retired from public education in 2019 and is the founder and owner of Black Butterfly Books LLC. She holds master's degrees in Business Education and Information Technology and often utilizes graphic design to bring her writings to life. Lorna says, "But more importantly, I find myself in awe, as I watch God organize my thoughts and convey those things that I could never do alone. My prayer is to inspire someone, in some way, in an area where they need it most."

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Dedication

To the foster child, the youth in crisis, and individuals who are striving to achieve positive change

AS A FORMER foster child, I began to journal at the age of sixteen in an effort to affect positive change after traumatic and life-changing experiences in foster care. Today, there are so many youths exposed to trauma, violence, or abuse and many are struggling physically or mentally to overcome it.  Babygirl: Prequel to the Search for Catherine speaks to daily realities that foster children or youth in crisis may be exposed to.  Poetry and prose highlight the silence of loss, the fight for families, and love for foster children.  It is written from the perspective of a youth in crisis and is a reflection of a survivor's foster care journey.

Babygirl: Prequel to the Search for Catherine is dedicated to raising awareness on the mental health of foster care children, i.e., those who are currently in foster care and those who are aging out. To that end, the team and wrap-around concepts support efforts to cultivate sustainable solutions. Youth, parents, social workers, teachers, and all those who find connection, will find Babygirl, a tumultuous journey of faith and hope!

To my mother, Carrie Wilson Jones (Belle Starr)

The name Belle Starr was given to my mother because of her strength and her commitment to provide and protect her children. The name in and of itself reflects the character of a notorious American outlaw. With that being said, when it came to protecting family, Carrie Wilson Jones would face great obstacles without fear.  She was a very strong, opinionated woman and she carried herself with boldness. Even with this strength, she faced challenges and those challenges took on various forms. Yet through the challenges, her love was always present. Her dedication as a provider and her love for family and friends was evident to all who knew her and while her years on this earth were short, the legacy she left will always remain. With heartfelt sincerity, I dedicate, Babygirl: Prequel to the Search for Catherine to my mother, Carrie Wilson Jones. She inspired many of the passages in this book and I will always remember the journey. I love you, Mom.

To my mother, Acie Lee Spraddling

There is another great mother that inspired my journey. Her name is Acie Lee Spraddling. As I reflect on her passion and love for children, I am reminded of tireless hours of hard work, patience, and prayer. I met Acie Lee Spraddling through foster care. She provided and cared for me during a time when my biological mother faced challenges that required assistance. During those times, life was not easy. Yet, Acie introduced me to Father God and his precious son, Jesus Christ. Acie became my second mother and her love was genuine. She practiced Christianity and lived life by example. Her examples displayed amazing self-control, discipline, and holy living. She continues to help children understand their purpose in life as she guides them toward a life of self-love and family unity. God has blessed her with an amazing gift to help children facing issues associated with loss, trust, and belonging. Therefore, I dedicate Babygirl: Prequel to the Search for Catherine to my mother, Acie Lee Spraddling as well. Thank you, Acie Lee Spraddling for everything. I could not have made it without you and Father God.  I love you, Mom.

Acknowledgments

WITH SINCERE APPRECIATION , I acknowledge my children, Wanavia, Celeste, Matthew, and Christian. Each child has special significance in my heart.

Wanavia is the diamond that sparked instant redirection in my life. Wanavia is my firstborn child.  She was born during placement with my foster mother, Acie Spraddling, when I was a teenager.  She is the gift who perpetuated positive change. This pregnancy came about at a time when my mother decided to leave her children for fear of her life and the lives of her children. My siblings and I woke up one morning to find a note indicating she was not going to return and not to look for her. My siblings and I bounced from house to house among several different friends and relatives. Not knowing where to go or where I belonged, I began to search for love and acceptance and found myself pregnant at age sixteen. This pregnancy and the circumstances surrounding it led to life-changing decisions.  Determination brought about motivation to see Wanavia achieve all that her heart desired.  To that end, hard work and a stable lifestyle became the air that I breathed to move our lives in a positive direction.  Wanavia’s beautiful face inspired that motivation whenever I looked upon her, sleeping in her crib.

With sincere appreciation, I acknowledge my daughter, Celeste. Celeste is a social magnet who facilitates family cohesiveness. She is the coordinator of family events; she generates positive energy that everyone loves. Her bubbly personality motivates those around her to embrace fun, laughter, and love. Her beautiful personality is indicative of her name, which means heavenly.

With sincere appreciation, I acknowledge my firstborn son, Matthew. Matthew is the articulate analyzer of family situations. He has the foresight to see what could or should be. His gift of assessment provides insight into possibilities that may not have been previously considered. His intuitiveness influences new ideas and reflection. Matthew in Hebrew means gift of God. The religious meaning of the name is evidenced by the fact it was given to Saint Matthew; according to Christian theology, he was one of Jesus Christ’s twelve disciples. (Answers 2014)

With sincere appreciation, I acknowledge my son, Christian. Christian is my miracle baby. During labor, there was no amniotic fluid to give birth. I was in my tenth month of pregnancy when I was told, There is a problem.  With no medication to reduce pain, combined with induced labor, contractions came one right after the other. There was no break in between contractions to rest or recover as with previous pregnancies. So, the pregnancy was difficult, to say the least.  However, I would not trade the experience for anything in the world. With great pain, comes great joy. Christian is the kindest, sweetest child; he is my heart.

Of course, all children are miracles.  Yet, a mother will always feel that her miracles are the greatest miracles in the world—  and they are!

Foreword

IN 1980 THE LORD blessed me to become a foster parent to teenage mothers and their babies. At first, I was not sure of this calling because my husband had reservations about the possible challenges teenage foster care might entail. However, after I prayed about it, the Lord made it plain to me in a dream in which a child was on my shoulder, and she was pregnant. Shortly thereafter, Lorna Jackie Wilson came to me, and she was that child.

My lifestyle included church and prayer, so it was important for me to instill values and morals in the characters of the children in my care, and the church was a huge part of our lives. I took Lorna to church with me every time I went. Eventually, Lorna gave her life to the Lord, and we became close as mother and daughter. A few months later, she had her first child. After that, she went everywhere I went. I was proud to be her mother and grandmother to her daughter.

Lorna is still in my life; I love her, and I know she loves me. After more than thirty years, we are still close, and she visits me as much as she can. All her children call me Granny.

From 1980 to today, I continue to provide foster care to children, some with challenges and special needs. Nevertheless, God provides us with whatever we need to conquer challenges and build strong relationships. In this regard, Lorna has developed relationships with many of the foster children I provide care for, and today, they are a huge part of her extended family.

— Acie Spraddling

Acie Lee Spraddling made her heavenly transition on July 21, 2015. Her legacy lives on through her children. This Foreword is one of her last writings.

Introduction

IT’S 1977 AND Michelle is outside, jumping on pavement outlined in white chalk, in a hopscotch pattern. A few feet away, two little girls are playing jump rope. As the jump rope taps the ground, a third child jumps in the middle. The children are clearly enjoying themselves as laughter resounds throughout Michelle’s block of the neighborhood.  During their playtime, Michelle’s mother, Catherine is preparing dinner and observes the children from her kitchen window and smiles.

On this beautiful, autumn day, there is a gentle breeze as leaves fall from bright orange trees; the branches sway as if to wave greetings to the sky.  Michelle looks up and the sun gently touches her face.  She stretches her arms skyward and twirls around and around. 

A few feet away, a man pulls up in a black, Cadillac Seville.  He parks at the corner and a young boy approaches him. The man passes the boy a small plastic sandwich bag. It’s difficult to identify the contents of the bag from a distance and no one is the wiser of the transaction taking place.  As the man drives away, the boy places the bag in his pocket and walks away. 

CATHERINE’S HOME IS quaint; some may even say, old-fashioned.  It might not be modern or grand in size, but it’s clean and comfortable.  Catherine has taken great strides to beautify her home.  She has fresh brown paint on a wood-frame house with beige trim.  Her living room drapes are beige with speckles of yellow and red.  Each drape is tied off to the side and there is a sheer, egg-shell white curtain, in the center.  From the living room window, you can see tall gladiolas in the front yard.  Catherine loves gladiolas; they stand about three feet tall and are multi-colored.  Her daughters, Tina and Michelle, helped to plant them last spring; the flowers liven up the front yard, quite nicely.

In the family room, a net spreads from the ceiling and fastens from corner to corner.  As the net dips in the center, you can see Polaroids of family portraits resting inside.  The aroma of incense gently caresses the air.  There is a black throw-rug on the floor with a safari-style background to accent matching oil paintings on the wall.  The end-tables showcase lava lamps that display colors with soft swirls of red, purple, and gold gradients.

As Catherine observes the work she and her children have put in to make their home feel cozy, inside and out, she smiles.  It takes hard work, yet anyone can see that the family cares about their property.  Leon also makes sure it stays clean and well-kept on the outside.

Since Catherine prides herself on a clean house, she makes sure everyone does their part to keep it that way.  The children are cooperative, for the most part, but it isn’t the children that concern her at the moment.  She has other concerns on her mind, concerns that she desperately desires to dismiss. 

As she continues to prepare dinner for her children, the aroma of greens and cornbread fills the house.  It is an aroma that speaks to family traditions and good times.  Desiring to set the atmosphere for what has already started out as a nice day, she lowers the stove’s eye to allow herself a moment to select a record from her vinyl collection of albums and 45s. She places the record, Breezin’ on the record player, gently drops the needle and turns up the volume. Lighting a cigarette, she takes a draw, tilts her head back, and sways to the soulful sounds of George Benson.

Soon, the children, Tina, Michelle, and Leon smell the aroma of their mother’s cooking from outside and it seems as if it is calling their names. I’m going to get something to eat. That food smells good, Tina says.

I’m right behind you, Leon replies.

Michelle wastes no time hurrying along as she chimes in, Me too.

As soon as the children enter the house, Catherine takes one look at their faces and disheveled clothing and exclaims, Wash your hands! Don’t touch anything until you wash your hands!

Alright, the children reply in unison.

Catherine prepares the dinner plates and the children retreat to their bedrooms to eat. This has become a custom with the family as they haven’t eaten together at the dinner table for a very long time.  Catherine enjoys spending quality time with family and friends.  However, the frustration of daily living, as it relates to meeting the needs of her family and juggling the relationship with her boyfriend, Victor, weighs heavy on her heart.

As a result, Catherine’s mood swings from happy, one moment to depressed, the next.  Entering the bathroom, she opens the medicine cabinet to retrieve several items. Thirty minutes later, she retires to her bedroom to watch television.  Sleep overtakes her as she relaxes on the bed, intent on watching a show.  But, before you know it, the television is watching her.