Captain Wetbeard

By Bruno Bouchet

When Emily and Daniel's parents send them on a rollicking pirate adventure holiday things go horribly wrong. there's something very weird about Captain Wetbeard's ship! A bald, farting parrot, a diet of chocolate-coated shrimps, plank-walking - these weren't in the holiday brochure!

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Australia
• Release date: Jan 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9780730495352

Bruno Bouchet

Bruno Bouchet is the author of several humorous books for kids and grown-ups and he also runs successful writing workshops. His latest book Lab Rats in Space is published by ABC Books.David Cox has been drawing seriously since he was a young boy and is a writer and illustrator based in Brisbane.

Book preview

Going on Holiday

‘It looks like lots of fun,’ Dad was trying to get Daniel and Emily excited about their adventure holiday.

‘It sounds lame,’ Emily yawned and looked out of the car window.

‘Don’t use that word, dear, it’s not nice,’ said their mother.

‘W’ever!’ Emily said.

Saying ‘whatever’ took too long, so Emily always said ‘w’ever’ instead. She was pretty, clever and very grown-up for an eleven-year-old girl. She grew her nails long, wore bright nail varnish and was very proud of how neat they looked.

Daniel, her brother, didn’t care how his nails looked. He was too busy worrying. Would the holiday be safe? Would anyone like him? Was Dad driving too fast? Daniel worried a lot.

They were going on the Jolly Roger Pirate Adventure. It was a week’s holiday camp on a ship at sea.

‘Sail the seven seas like the pirates of old, in a swash-buckling trip of safe adventure with Captain Funbeard and his fun-filled crew.’

That’s what it said on the brochure.

‘You’ll love it. I promise,’ Dad said and gave Mum a knowing wink. The only thing standing between them and a week of cocktails, massages and luxury swimming pools were the kids. This children’s pirate adventure was the perfect holiday … for parents.

Daniel looked at the brochure. Captain Funbeard didn’t look like much of a pirate. He looked more like a teacher taking on an extra job during the holidays.

‘I hope he’s a qualified life saver,’ muttered Daniel.

‘Stop worrying Daniel!’ everyone shouted at him.

The pick-up point was a small beach where Captain Funbeard was supposed to collect them in a rowing boat and take them to his ship.

They parked the car and got their bags out. Daniel had a small backpack. Emily had a pink designer suitcase with wheels. She struggled down the path to the beach. The wheels didn’t work on the sand so she had to drag it with both hands.

‘Honestly Emily,’ Mum laughed, ‘anyone would think you were going on a luxury