Painted Smile

By Jane Ellis

GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF AN ABUSIVE AND CONTROLLING MAN AND THE EFFECT SHORT AND LONG TERM IT HAS HAD ON A WOMAN WHO THOUGHT SHE HAD MET THE PERFECT MAN.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Mar 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781491886892

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AuthorHouse™ UK Ltd.

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© 2014 by Jane Ellis. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/20/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4918-8688-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-8689-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013921999

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Introduction

The door slammed. It was like a trigger to every nerve in my body. I had learned to dread that noise over the past few years. I heard the heavy creaking noise on the stairs and the door to the bedroom open, the air filled with the smell of whiskey, I lay still friegning sleep waiting for the inevitable.

How had I become so unresponsive? It was as if I had given up the right to live. This was not living, not even an existence. Reality was cold and painful, there was no-one there to help me, no-one who could offer relief from this living hell. I had tried so many times to leave or find help, but now I had all but given up.

The blackness of pain overwhelmed me. I had learnt very quickly not to show pain in anyway. I would just focus on an inanimate object and take myself mentally out of the pain and abuse. I knew if I yelled or cried the beating would be worse. Cried—I can’t remember when I last cried or laughed. I tasted blood, was this going to be the time that I would be released into freedom. Many times I had thought I could take no more pain and that one day he would kill me. The sound of snoring brought me back. He was asleep. I slipped out of the bedroom and crept into the bathroom. The hot water gave some relief the pangs of revulsion. I lay in the warm water trying to remember what I had done to deserve this. Why I was being so badly punished. I had tried really hard to be a good wife, but he had taken everything I had, my self respect, my self confidence, my belief in people and left me empty and frightened.

I looked forward and saw nothing but blackness in my life. The only ray of sunshine was my beautiful daughter from my previous marriage. Where had it all gone wrong? What had I done to deserve this? Was this all I had to look forward to for the rest of my life?

CHAPTER ONE

After the break-up of my first marriage in the early seventies I felt strange. Here I was in my early twenties with a young daughter and people treating me very differently from when I was a single girl. My female friends who were happily married saw me as a threat, some who were having problems in their relationships actually saw me as lucky, and men, both married and single saw me as easy prey for a physical relationship! How wrong they were. Yes I wanted to have a good time—but to me that meant enjoying my life with my daughter and trying to build a future for us.

We moved into my grandmothers’ cottage which had become vacant when my grandmother went into hospital. It was near my parents home, which pleased my father as he idolised my daughter. I started work and started to have a social life again.

I was out with friends one night at a local disco, when it became more than obvious that one of the lads who had been standing at the bar was following me. Every time I look around he was there. It was nice to think that even though I was now older and a mother that I was still found attractive, and this man didn’t know that I was divorced. He approached me and started talking. He was tall well dressed and attractive in a rugged sort of way. We spent most of the night dancing. It was nice feeling the warmth of a man’s arms around me feeling wanted again. I wondered how the night would end, I felt entranced by this stranger. Whenever one of my friends came near to us he protectively put his arm around my shoulder. The music stopped, was it really that time already. This was the first time for a very long time that my body ached to be in the arms of a man again.

I felt the warmth of his breath on my neck and he asked for my telephone number, which I readily gave him. Inside my heart was racing, would he ring? I walked out to my car, my friends had gathered around I could feel their eyes on me. I turned and knew this dark stranger was going to kiss me. He did not disappoint, his lips met mine and his arms enveloped me. Why had I driven tonight? How I wished I’d been by myself. He said goodnight in a deep husky voice and was gone.

I jumped into the car and the girls were eager to know all about this stranger, except Julie, she sat quietly in the back listening to us all. Back at the house Julie and Donna came in for a coffee before leaving to go back to their houses. Donna disappeared upstairs to the bathroom and Julie followed me into the kitchen. I was walking on air remembering every touch of the dark stranger who had held me in his arms that night.

‘You know who he is don’t you?’ Julie said. I replied quite sharply, ‘No’. ‘He is the local ram! Anyone new on the scene and he is there, especially if he thinks there is money about.’ I was really angry, You are just jealous. Julie looked really worried and I was sorry I’d shouted at her, ‘I just don’t want to see you hurt. I remember saying I can look after myself". Little did I know how important those words would be.

I jumped into bed not feeling like sleep just wrapped in the thoughts of the dark stranger who had left this overwhelming effect on me. My peace was shattered by the piercing sound of the telephone. Hi, remember me? How could I forget. The deep husky voice of the stranger was filling my head again. I glanced over to the clock, it was 3a.m. We chatted over the phone and when I replaced it I realised I had to see him again.

The next morning I went around to collect my daughter from my parents house. I felt as if I was walking on clouds. Kerry ran to me as I opened the door, all the thoughts of my dark stranger disappeared. This little bundle of joy in front of me thrust her arms around my neck and gave me a hug. I hated being apart from her. Her long dark curly hair tumbled over her shoulders and she raced into the bedroom to get her things. As we walked back around to the cottage I saw a strange car parked at the gate. As we neared the door opened, my heart skipped a beat, it was him. Kerry tugged at my arm asking me who it was. I didn’t even know his name, and I didn’t want her to know my inner feelings for this dark stranger.

As he came towards us he produced the biggest bunch of roses I’d ever seen and a soft teddy for Kerry. How did you know I had a daughter?, You’d be surprised what I know, was the answer. All the logical questions that should have been asked disappeared out of my head. His dark eyes hypnotised me, his attentive manner and his strength entranced me. How about I take my two favourite girls out for the day?. Was he for real, he hardly knew me, and now he was offering to take me and my young daughter out. I should have been saying ‘Too good to be true", and if one of my friends had been in my situation I would have seen all the alarm bells ringing, but here I was getting into this strangers car and feeling a warm glow all over.

We drove for what seemed like ages, Kerry was asleep in the back. I hadn’t really taken in where we were going. We pulled into a car park and I looked out of the window. An excited voice from the back echoed in my ear The seaside, wow. It was all I could do the get her to take her shoes of as she raced toward the rolling waves of the sea. We were laughing and joking and splashing each other. For the first time in ages