Raised in Hell: A Non-Fiction Family Dramedy. You Have No Control of the Environment into Which You Are Born, but You Can Control How That Environment Will Affect You.

By Deon Price and Sara Hicks

A non-fiction family dramedy about overcoming obstacles, family bond and survival. A true story of a familys struggle to endure in a challenging time and an even tougher environment. Delivered from the perspective of the youngest child of nine with humor, hardship and professional precision.

Deon D. Price has provided a trusted and respected perspective for youth. A great story teller, he has mastered the ability to deliver a critical and current message to todays youth culture. I endorse and support Deons efforts.
-Larry J. Moody, East Palo Alto, CA City Council Member


I was laughing out loud! There was laughter and tears at the same time. This will be as good as, if not better than a Madea movie!
- Evelyn L. Polk, LMFT and Author of Its the Heart Work


Deon D. Price is the REAL DEAL, PERIOD. His experience as described in Raised in Hell is a perfect example of inspiration and hope for a plethora of young people to emulate!
-Kevin Bracy, Executive Producer of The MonSTARS of Motivation, Founder of Life Changers Intl.


A great read! This book should be a blueprint for anyone committed to serving youth and families. Im impressed with Deons innovative approach and creative thinking for impacting young people.
-Wil Cason, Motivational Speaker


To say that Deon D. Price and his journey in Raised in Hell is inspiring does not do it justice. He provides a well-lit path from illness to wellness inside urban America. He lifts me up and makes me and others go on doing what we do.
- Mike Pritchard, Keynote Speaker, Author and Life Coach


Deon D. Prices heartbreaking yet laugh out loud story is a model of resiliency for todays youth and should be a must read for those giving their all to help improve the lives of young people in America.
-Heidi Schrumpf, JD, PhD, University of Montana

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jan 27, 2014
• ISBN: 9781491716397

Deon Price

Deon Price is a Youth Life skills Coach and former standup comedian with twenty years of experience as a Youth Service Worker as well as ten years in juvenile probation. He has dedicated most of his adult life to the field of youth and child development. Currently he is a Youth Career Transition instructor for the Department of Labor. Through his organization Price Edutainment, he has delivered motivational talks and seminars to parents, educators as well as students throughout California. His brand of motivational comedy is delivered with both humor and professional precision. As a columnist, he has written weekly and monthly articles on the subject of modern youth culture in print and on-line. His Bi-weekly column “This Generation” reaches several hundred thousand readers and has run in several publications including the Fairfield Daily Republic, Tavis Talks, City Flight Magazine, 311-Zine in San Francisco and the New York Times. He also hosts an on-line web show of the same name.(www.youtube.com/priceedutainment) Deon received the 2010 “I am greatness” spotlight award for motivational speakers. He also has appeared as a guest on Radio & T.V. programs to offer his unique perspective on issues regarding this generation of youth. He has four children, three sons and a daughter. He lives in Northern California with his wife and kids.

Book preview

RAISED IN HELL

A non-fiction family dramedy.

"You have no control of

the environment into

which you are born,

but you can control

how that environment

will affect you."

DEON PRICE

iUniverse LLC

Bloomington

RAISED IN HELL

A NON-FICTION FAMILY DRAMEDY.

Copyright © 2014 Deon Price.

Edited by Starlette English

Additional Editing by Harriet Williams & Troy Hicks

Additional Quotes and content ideas by Lita Hinson

Cover design by Sara Hicks of Unearth and Empower Communities, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

iUniverse LLC

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.iuniverse.com

1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4917-1638-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-1639-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013921657

iUniverse rev. date: 02/15/2014

CONTENTS

Acknowledgment

Foreword

Preface

1   Laughter Is Therapy

2   1968 What Did You Say Yo, Name Was?

3   A Shaky Beginning (You Ain’t Gotta Go Home But… .)

4   The Wild Wild West

5   48Th & Ascott

6   Patty Hearst Abduction

7   The Life-Changing Incident

8   (Foster Home Carousel)

9   Jim Jones

10   Dr. Jeckle & Mrs. Hyde

11   The Joy Of Outdoors

12   Tough Love

13   Nine Months

14   South Park—East L.a.

15   The Impact Of Hoop Skills

16   Another Traumatic Turning Point

17   The 1St And 15Th

18   Refuge On The Court

19   Ground Zero Of The Crack Epidemic

20   Escape From L.a.

21   The Hoover Plaza

22   West Side

23   The Bay Area: A Nurturing Environment

24   Family Full Circle

25   Curtain Call

About The Author

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ACKNOWLEDGMENT

I humbly express my appreciation for the following supporters.

My Heavenly Father; as a youth worker and advocate, this work cannot be done effectively without your blessing. I couldn’t do this work without sincere Agape love for the well-being of others. You are the source of love so all that is done in the spirit of love belongs to you.

The family; my mother; Carrie Howard who is the primary inspiration for this project. My older Brothers; Ronald Henderson and Herman Roberts, as well as my Sisters, Connie Roberts-Lorick, Cherolyn Howard and Pamela Price for contributing your stories and memory that became the blue print for Raised in Hell. My Wife & Kids; for the encouragement. Also, much appreciation for Cousin Rita the PB, your support was worth your weight in gold.

Evelyn Polk; a lifelong soldier for the well-being of children you have been a powerful influence on me and my literary contribution to exposing the challenges of family hardships and foster care

My Students; your engaging response to the stories that encompass this message was one of the main reasons that I decided to take on this project. You have inspired me to spread these life lessons to the masses.

My mentors and colleagues; Dr. Zelty Crawford, Evelyn Polk, Michael Pritchard, Wil Cason, Kevin Bracy and Larry Moody for your influence and advice.

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FOREWORD

There is a saying: If you’re going through hell, don’t stop; keep going.

Well that can be said both to those reading this memoir as well as of the author from whose real life experiences, the contents have been taken. Before you begin to read I implore you to get ready for the roller coaster ride of your literary adventures because you won’t want to stop until you’ve gotten all the way through.

Whether you’re an adult or youth, villager or professional, and whether you have ever or never before experienced poverty, family dysfunction, and/or separation from your biological family, if you have a heart which has not waxed cold, you will smile, cry, laugh and even holler out loud as you follow the childhood journey of author, Deon Price.

Deon takes you through the life maze of 6 year old Little Deon as he witnesses and experiences family addiction, violence, fear, and separation, pain, rejection, and displacement; followed by the pains of confusion, sadness, depression, apathy, and hopelessness, but most of all the enduring love for and by his biological family.

As a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Therapist who has spent more than 30 years functioning in the capacity of a counselor, social worker, foster parent, and therapist to chidren and youth, the experiences depicted in this memoir by author Deon Price, gives voice to the countless children whose lives I have been and am touched by, as they have endured experiences many adults can only fathom.

So often we assess, label and pathologize the behaviors of children and youth whose hearts and voices we do not know or even seek to know—only concerned about the external behavior and appearances. It is my continual message to those who work with and care for youth, that it is generally most effective to reach and teach them through heart work—connecting with them at that place in their hearts where the core issues of their existence and experience lie.

It is my heart’s desire that you will not only enjoy the humor through which Deon has been gifted to share his story, but that you will also be willing to feel the pain and allow that to change and/or enhance your perceptions of and interactions with children and youth who have been through, are going through, and maybe even taking you through hell. Just know and trust that if we don’t stop, both they and we can come through to the other side not even smelling like smoke!

It is my pleasure, honor and joy to introduce readers the story of Mr. Deon Price, who is evidence that though tried through the fire, one can come through to the other side as pure gold! black.jpg

By Evelyn L. Polk, LMFT

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PREFACE

We have absolutely no control over what type of environment we are born into. We don’t get to choose our family, the geographic location or the socio-economic conditions. We simply have to play with the hand that is dealt to us. You may not be able to control the environment but you can control how the environment affects you.

As a parent and a professional, experienced in the field of youth and child development, I believe in the illustration that raising a child is like baking a cake. You can bake a good cake and choose to put any type of icing for additional sweetness or artistic appearance but if you forget a key ingredient in the recipe, no matter how good the cake looks on the outside or how sweet the icing is, on the inside, something is going to be noticeably wrong with that cake. The key ingredients are, stability, discipline and nurturing gestures of love. The home, no matter what the social or economic conditions are, should be comfortable and secure for a child’s emotional stability.

This is also evident to the fact that regardless of the environment, whether abundantly filled with love and affection, or near tragically unstable as in our case, it will have a vastly different effect on the individuals who experience those same conditions. Therefore, it is darn near impossible to precisely predict how a child being raised will affect his development as an adult.

However, our development as responsible adults does have a great deal of dependency on what happened or didn’t happen to us as a child. As a child, nursed on the welfare system, I am an adult who maintains a healthy balance of material needs. As a former foster child, I hold dearly to the value and bond of the original family. Having no father has made me a nurturing protective parent. Having an alcoholic mother has made me a person who rarely or almost never drinks and truly understands the need for self-control and moderation. Being often neglected, undernourished and severely underprivileged has made me a man on a mission to improve the quality of life for as many children as possible, starting with my own.

My family experiences and stories have been told to many at risk youth as a tool to connect, inspire, engage and motivate them. Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of the innocent. With respect to the engaging title, there will be no atrocious acts of abuse, no tales of being forced to drink bleach, no child being sexually abused, or extreme or exaggerated acts of physical abuse. However, this is a personal testimony of a very familiar family issue of substance abuse and poverty, during a challenging time and an even more difficult location. The primary motivation however, is to inspire and empower readers to overcome family drama and perplexing conditions to improve the quality of their lives.

The countless interviews with parents, colleagues, youth, youth workers and family members, played a significant role in the material that has become part of this project. These experiences and the often humorous tone and style in which they are delivered have been a catalyst to my success as a youth service professional. Good or bad! Tragic or triumphant! There are a multitude of life lessons in our childhood experiences. This is what inspired this testimony of Raised in Hell. The term Hell as used in the title is a metaphoric or symbolic term. Contrary to the traditional religious use of the term Hell which signifies a literal fiery, eternal grave, a condition of suffering without end, my use of the word in this context means an extremely uncomfortable and unhealthy environment.

There may be many who may relate to these experiences. There may be some who are currently suffering the same misfortune. My sincere intention is to expose the fact that there are things that we learn from our childhood experiences that could be a seed of inspiration or encouragement for others.

In my case, as well as many others, including the tragic and triumphant story of Dave Peltzers, A Child Called It, some individuals have the fortitude to not only survive an extremely brutal, stressful or tragic childhood but excel and succeed because of it.

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CHAPTER 1

LAUGHTER IS THERAPY

It is said that laughter gives you the ability to laugh at things that may have caused stress, anger, or resentment. Laughter renews our senses, awaking new experiences of forgiveness. (Lita Hinson)

The Endzone nightclub was filled with patrons on a Tuesday night in East Oakland, California. This small but popular spot epitomizes the image of the hood with small time hustlers and ghetto queens representing the hip-hop, ghetto, fabulous lifestyle. As the last comedian stepped off the stage to a few displeased customers, the M.C. announced, O.k., our next comic, from South Central Los Angeles, Deon Deon. As I approached the stage for my first discourse as a stand-up comedian, surprisingly, I was not nervous at all. Even though this was obviously a tough crowd, I knew they could relate to what I was saying and I had years of practice, so, I was sure the material was funny. Also, I had performed before crowds much larger, tougher and angrier than these folks. My day job at the time was in juvenile probation, where I counseled at risk youth, conducted prevention courses and parenting classes. My ghetto centric sense of humor has been a valuable tool throughout my upbringing. With impoverished living conditions in a neighborhood filled with crack heads, an alcoholic mother, no father, multiple siblings and a gay uncle, I had plenty of material to work with.

Sure it’s funny now but believe me it was a sad situation for a child. But, as my older brother would say, It’s better to laugh about it than to cry about it. And laughing, to me, was a refuge from what some would call a miserably dysfunctional home life.

To say it was a broken home was a severe understatement. We were broke as hell. For most of my childhood we were entirely dependent on the California welfare system, which meant food stamps and a very low fixed income. Needless to say we were living far from the lap of luxury. At times our meals were just enough to line the stomach. We quite often had chicken and dumplings without the chicken. We had powdered eggs, powdered potatoes and powdered milk. Going to school every day with a bag of powdered substance, school officials thought that I was a ten year old drug dealer. What is this? Dope? they would ask. No! It’s my lunch!

How much damage has my childhood upbringing done to my mental and emotional stability? The jury is still out on that. You never really know the extent of the long term effect of a hostile and unstable home life on a child. I’m a grown man with two grown sons of my own and I’m still feeling the side effects of alcoholism, poverty and a sometimes extremely difficult upbringing.

My wife recently asked me to grab the spare car keys out of her purse. As I approached the black leather handbag, I suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable and tense as I attempted to reach inside the purse. For some reason it was a real struggle for me. Sweating like a boxer, I reverted to simply picking up the entire bag to bring it to her. Here, you get them. I said handing her the bag. Looking at me with a puzzled look, she mumbled, What’s wrong with you?

What was wrong? I had a childhood flashback! As an eight year old, I decided to help myself to a piece of Wrigley’s chewing gum that happened to be conveniently in my mom’s purse. No big deal right! Wrong! Way wrong! My mother politely asked where I got the gum from. I would have been better off saying that I found it on the floor. Instead, I responded honestly, I got it from your pur… Smack! Before I could finish the sentence, I could feel my lips being detached from my face from a swift backhand. Lesson number one! Never go in a woman’s purse, period. You definitely don’t go into a black woman’s purse. After sharing this story with my wife much later, she understood, sympathizing with my many short comings as a result of my childhood which was mainly inflicted by the direct and indirect result of an alcoholic mother.

My mother moved to Los Angeles in the early 1960s, to escape an alcoholic husband, only to become an abusive alcoholic herself. I’ve always heard that there were three types of drunks; a violent drunk, a crying drunk and the kind that passes out. Well, wouldn’t you know it? My mother was all three. She would get full of that Russian (Kamchatka) vodka, terrorize us by threatening to kill us, start crying and pass out. Obviously, we couldn’t wait for that last part to happen. I often joked about how we never liked having real silverware in the house. Let’s just say it was a safety precaution. "It’s hard to stab someone to death with a plastic fork". We basically lived on paper plates and Dixie cups. In a way, it was cool with us because Mommy would break up most of the dishes which meant we didn’t have to wash them.

These conditions were obviously unhealthy for the proper development of a child, yet ironically it was fruitful and nontraditionally nurturing in a strange way. The unorthodox form of love that was expressed in my upbringing embodies the depth of agape love that defines true family bond and transcends all personal issues, illnesses and tragedies. The various differences that many families have in expressing love are abundantly clear in our situation.

There was very little or no physical affection. There were no kisses good night or I love you’s as we departed, even on uncertain terms