Silly Alien Stories for Bigger Kids

By Denis Hayes

Do other superior beings really exist outside of Earth? Of course they do and in this book they are very active all over the Universe but not always in a serious way.

The Sramsians, Sunevians and Otulpians are from three identical planets in the same orbit around the same sun in a very old galaxy on the far side of the Universe that has no sides. They come from a galaxy so old that it has forgotten its name and so is just called The Oldest Galaxy.
The Creator has made them the Caretakers, Custodians, and the Commissioners of the Universe as the Creator is very busy creating.

This first book in the series centres around their activities and relationships with a rather primitive planet they call Earth which they observe and sometimes interfere with as though it were a Zoo.

They revue and alter the Earthlets knowledge of Gods, Science, Technology, Sport, Climate, Environment and everything else sometimes successfully and sometimes disastrously but always with an impish sense of mischief.
This is the Universe that will make scientists and others sit up and think again.

Well that is the hope of the Aliens at least!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Release date: Sep 25, 2013
• ISBN: 9781482892727

Denis Hayes

The English author has worked on many projects in many countries of the world, living an adventurous and sometimes dangerous life. He has entertained and has been entertained by royalty, premiers, ministers, and VIPs. After writing books for children, he wishes to introduce adults to their same old world but viewed from a different perspective. He has been married four times and has eight children yet vigorously defends the sanctity of marriage and deplores the increase in the world’s population. He uses his books to turn the world upside down and inside out because he believes that is the only way to make sense of everything. He lives with his lovely Asian wife and three boys in Malaysia. He personally draws and colours all the characters by hand.

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Copyright © 2014 Denis Hayes. . All rights reserved.

ISBN

978-1-4828-9602-2 (sc)

978-1-4828-9272-7(e)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

To order additional copies of this book, contact

Toll Free 800 101 2657 (Singapore)

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www.partridgepublishing.com/singapore

05/05/2014

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Contents

The Zoo

The Aliens

Sramsians The Caretakers Of The Universe

Sunevians, The Custodians Of The Universe

Otulpians, The Commisioners Of The Universe

Old Galaxy R & R

The Sramsians Review The Climate

The Custodians—Earth Waste

Commisioners—Gender

Old Galaxy Council—In Conference

The Zoo

Come on Limpy, if you don’t get a move on you’ll miss the Starbus, said Two Strands.

All right, all right, I’m here aren’t I? exclaimed his friend testily, It’s OK for you youngsters, wait until your my age, then you’ll slow down.

Who are you to call me a youngster, I’ll have you know that I’m five million, two and a half years old next birthday. said Two Strands.

Limpy didn’t bother to answer, he was fifty million, five and three quarters years old.

They lived in a Galaxy far, far away but not in the distant past or future—they were from now.

Their planet was called Sram, because it was the opposite of Mars. It wasn’t red it was violet.

The Sramsians were better designed than earthly humans, they had four arms and three legs. Well evolution had had much longer to work it out. Their planet was considerably older than almost anything else. With four arms they could carry home a birthday present, scratch their nose and still be able to eat an ice cream, all at the same time.

The third leg was where a kangaroo had a tail. So handy because when tired they could actually sit down on themselves.

They were very advanced and highly developed. They were certainly life but not as we know it!

However they were somewhat mouse like. This caused them some concern so they didn’t look in mirrors very often.

Limpy owed his name to the fact that one of his legs didn’t function very well. It never had and even the most brilliant of doctors said it never would. He had been advised to have it cut off but Limpy was horrified, Whoever heard of anyone ever being able to walk on two legs? he shouted angrily, I’d rather wobble a bit, thank you very much indeed.

It was that remark that had got Two Strands to arrange a tour. A very expensive Far, Far, Reach Tour with the Far, Far, Reach Tour Company.

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Two Strands got his name from the two hairs that wriggled up from his head exactly mid way between his elongated ears. He was proud of them as Sramsians were usually bald until very late in life. He viewed his two hairs as a sign of great maturity in one so young.

Two Strands had booked a tour to the Zoo.

The Zoo was not local, it was not even in their galaxy, but in another one on the far side of the universe. A planet that boasted two legged animals.

Limpy didn’t believe it. He just had to go