Crap - the Dirty Dozen of the Republican Party

By Ron Peeples

This book is a political satire about the Republican Party. It is meant to be amusing but it contains facts about the Republican Party that will directly impact middle class and poor people in a negative way. I hope readers will enjoy this book, and please get out and exercise your right to vote.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 14, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477288450

Ron Peeples

I am an everyday guy who has always had a passionate interest in politics and the position of our country on the world stage. I grew up in a Republican household, but my political convictions have changed completely as an adult voter. Everyday voters like myself, will determine this election, and we must decide which party best represents our needs and the direction our country will take in the future.

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© 2012 by Ron Peeples. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/11/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4772-8846-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-8845-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012921323

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Introduction

The Dirty Dozen

Chapter One   John (The Tan Man) Boehner

Chapter Two   The Tea Party

Chapter Three Fox and Friends/Fox News (Unfair and Unbalanced)

Chapter Four   Bill (Mr. Spin) O’Reilly

Chapter Five   Paul (Bunyan) Ryan

Chapter Six     Donald (King of the Birthers) Trump

Chapter Seven Michelle Bachmann

Chapter Eight  Joe (The Dumber Plumber) Wurlezelbacher

Chapter Nine   Rush (Moby Dick) Limbaugh

Chapter Ten     Sarah (Mama Grizzly) Palin

Chapter Eleven Sean (Meatball) Hannity

Chapter Twelve Willard (Clippity Clop/Flippity Flop) Romney

Some one-liners about the rest

Conclusion

Statements and depictions of disrespect toward President Obama

Introduction

I’m just an ordinary guy, like most who will read this book. I grew up in a single family home with my siblings and both of my parents. Most of my friends in the neighborhood grew up in similar situations. I didn’t realize how important that was at the time, growing up with both parents. But I am grateful for having that opportunity as I see the problems surrounding single parent families today, mostly headed by women.

Dad used to tell us about his experiences as a young man growing up in the Deep South. One experience in particular, stuck in his mind and ours. Dad said he had been given permission to drive the Model-T Ford owned by the white gentleman he worked for. At a stop sign, two white men standing on the corner yelled: Nigger, whose car did you steal! Dad said he wanted to jump down and kick some ass but he knew that would have been the last act he would have ever committed. At that moment, he knew he had to get out of the South. My older brother and sister had already been born at the time of that incident, but my other three siblings and myself were born up North.

Dad was a proud hard working Christian man who believed in living the right way and trying to lend a helping hand to anyone who was less fortunate than he. Because we had a roof over our heads and ate three meals a day, we thought we were middle class. Dad made about $60.00 a week, but because of Mom’s ability to stretch a dollar, we lived pretty good. I remember going to the A&P grocery store with Mom and watching her take $20.00 and bringing enough food home to feed the family for two weeks. We were poor and didn’t even know it, but the family was rich in love.

Dad lived through some of the toughest times in US history. He survived the Great Depression without ever having to beg or steal to feed his family. He saw President Franklin Delano Roosevelt lead us out of World War II and into a period of national prosperity with bold new projects that fell under the President’s New Deal. Some of the programs that were part of the New Deal were The Social Security Board, the Federal Housing Administration, The Tennessee Valley Administration, The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, and The GI Bill. The problems we faced under President Roosevelt can be largely attributed to the disastrous Republican Administration of Herbert Hoover.

However, Dad was a devout Republican. As a child, you almost always grew up with the same beliefs and values as your parents in those days. So I grew up thinking the Republican Party best represented our needs and political philosophy’s. I remember going to school and being teased by my classmates for being a Black Republican. Dad must have been the only Black Republican in the entire town. I remember the arguments my older brother and I had with Dad about the Republican Party. However, his political convictions could not have been changed by an extended stay in a Medieval torture chamber.

The Dirty Dozen

There is no scientific method of selecting the who’s who of the worst of the Republican Party. In fact, you could easily have named 1200 candidates for this much deserved honor. But I have chosen what I consider to be the twelve most radical, misleading, and dishonest of the GOP. I am obviously a hard left Democrat—however, I have tried to base this book in facts with a bit of humor sprinkled in. I hoped to have this book published before the 2012 Presidential election, and there are sections that reflect a pre-election point of view.

Special thanks to my sister Barbara, for lending her imagination and creativity to this project. She is responsible for the wonderful cartoons I’m sure you will enjoy.

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Heading the Dirty Dozen is the leader, if he can be called that, of the Republican Party, The Tan Man, John Boehner. As Speaker of The House, Boehner is the third most powerful politician in the US. However, he feels it necessary to have to answer to the most extreme right wingers of his party like the Tea Party and people like Rush Limbaugh. He often refers to President Obama as being weak, but how strong can you be Mr. Boehner, when the Tea Party and Limbaugh can influence you decision making. To me, that is the epitome of weakness.

Boehner likes to present himself as a guy who came up through tough times by working his way through college and earning every thing he accomplished. In truth, Boehner worked in his parent’s family business where his most difficult duties were likely getting to work on time and staying awake on the job. If you think he had to work because of financial difficulties, you need to pinch yourself and drink a large cup of black coffee.

Boehner is a master of deceit and deception. He is notorious for talking about what the American People want. By American People, I guess he means the average working man. So let’s examine what he proposes for the American People. Boehner thinks that we want cuts in our social security and increased contributions to our health care. This while constantly bellowing that there will be no tax increases for the super rich. Poll after poll shows that most people agree that something must be done about the federal deficit, however this must not be accomplished at the expense of hard working and retired citizens. Mr. Boehner, what American people are you talking about?

Boehner and his Republican cronies adhere to that tired old Republican theory that if we give more to the rich the benefits will trickle down to those who work and live on fixed incomes. That theory didn’t work under Nixon, Reagan, the Bushes, and it certainly will not work in these difficult financial times. While constantly bragging about what the American people want, I know of no other person who is more out of touch with the needs of the American people.

An NBC Meet the Press interview with David Gregory revealed just how out of touch with the American people Boehner really is. Boehner played dodge ball (in this case dodge question) like a champ. Following is an edited account of that interview:

•   Boehner: "The only way we’re going to get our economy growing again, and solve our budget problems, is to get the economy moving, get more people back to work—where they can care for their own families and begin to expand the tax rules, to bring more revenue to the federal government. And what we have to do is we have to get our arms around the spending spree that’s going on in Washington, D. C. That’s the only way to solve the budge problem.

•   Gregory: You’re not being responsive to a specific, which is how can you be for cutting the deficit and also cutting taxes as well when they are not paid for.

•   Boehner: Listen, you can’t raise taxes in the middle of a weak economy.

•   Gregory interrupts: But do you agree that tax cuts cannot be paid for, is that correct?

•   Boehner responds in an agitated voice: I am not for raising taxes on the American people in a soft economy!

•   Gregory: That’s not the question Speaker Boehner. Are the tax cuts paid for or not?

•   Boehner: Listen, what you’re trying to do is get into this Washington game and their funny accounting over there.

•   Gregory: So do you believe tax cuts pay for themselves or not?

•   Boehner: "I do believe that we’ve got to get