The Wes Daddy Mack Hour: Getting More in Touch with My Darker Side of Me.

By Kahlil Weston

I took more of the scenic route in being more of a darker approach. Consider this 2nd hour in the great adventures of The World's Greatest Writer. I consider this my more updated work.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 20, 2011
• ISBN: 9781468500912

Kahlil Weston

This book is the animated version of me. Call this the continuation of The Kahlil Weston Hour part 2. I got more crazy. As you know my book is built off of sarcasm and black humor if you read my body of work. In this book I raised a lot of hell and like George Washington I cannot tell a lie........... I LOVE BEING BAD!!!!

Book preview

The Kahlil Springer Show

(Chapter Two)

Crowd (chants): KAHLIL! KAHLIL! KAHLIL! KAHLIL!

The Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman! Introducing the 10th wonder of the world Kahlil Springer.

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kahlil: Thank you! Thank you! Today is a special show for me personally! Today’s episode is I’m leaving my wife for another man.

Crowd: Awwwwwwwww!!!!!!

Kahlil: My guest today is John. John is a retired policeman and head of security at a community college in Blackwood. So tell me John why are you here today.

John: Well Kahlil! I’m here to tell my wife that I’m sleeping with another man.

Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Kahlil: John tells me what was the fascination with you wanting to sleep with another man? I mean are you married?

John: Well yeah!

Kahlil: Is she aware of the fact that you been sleeping with another man?

John: No Kahlil she’s not aware of me sleeping with another man.

Kahlil: You don’t think she has the right to know?

John: It’s about time to tell her that I’m seeing someone else. It’s just that a man satisfies me. I’m not turned on to women anymore. Eversince this guy is in life he’s all the man that I need.

Kahlil: It sounds like that story about the down low. You portray yourself as this straight male. A family man but all this time you like giving and getting stuff packed at night wouldn’t you say?

John: Well yeah!

Kahlil: Anyway! No use prolonging this. Let’s call out your wife. Hey everybody meet Cindy.

Crowd: Yayyyyyyyyyyyy!

(John kisses Cindy on the cheek)

Crowd: Awwwwwwww!!!

Kahlil: Anyway! Welcome Cindy!

Cindy: Hello Kahlil!

Kahlil: Your husband has bought you on this show because he has a surprise for you. I’m gonna get out the way and he’s gonna tell you.

John: Well hon! The reason I’m on the show today is that I wanted to tell you that I’m seeing someone.

Cindy: Husband to talk to the talk show host say what????????

Crowd: OHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Cindy: How could you do this to me??? What’s wrong I don’t satisfy you? I’m not what you desired. You been having school sessions with one of those floozies at Camden County??? What John what did I do to deserve this?

John: It’s not what you think hon! I just decided to go into another direction.

Cindy: Another direction? Bring the bimbo out that you’re sleeping with. I want to confront this bitch.

Kahlil: My next guest is a dean at Camden County College. Meet John’s boyfriend Jimmy.

Crowd: Booooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Jimmy: Hold it! Hold it! You guys know you want this! I admit that I’m a small frail guy and I like dicks. I love it when I can whip a small one in my asshole.

Crowd: ILLLLL!!!!! KAHLIL! KAHLIL! KAHLIL!

Cindy: So this is the faggot you left me for? How could you? It hurts that you cheated on me but for another guy?

Kahlil: A double whammy wouldn’t you say?

Jimmy: Look! I can’t help it if John and I are in love. Nothing satisfies me more than having his cock in my ass.

Cindy: You fuckin’ homewrecker how can you turn my husband on to other men. I’m gonna beat the shit out of you. We got kids together you son of a bitch.

Jimmy: Get off my wig. Oh my god this dyke is trying to tear off my bra strap.

(Kendall breaks up the fight)

Kendall: Sit down!

Crowd: KENDALL! KENDALL!

Kendall: Calm down before I send you to jail.

Crowd: Kahlil! Kahlil!

John: Cindy face reality! I don’t love you anymore and Jim is the only guy in my life right now. I don’t want you anymore. I like guys and dick now. I’ll always be there for the kids but for years I always had feelings for Dr. Jimmy C.

Jimmy: That’s right bitch so back off my man.

Cindy: You big lip Montgomery Burns wannabe! You little dick sucking man I’ll whoop your fuckin ass.

(Fight ensues)

Kahlil: Cindy I must ask did you actually know anything about your husband being gay.

Cindy: This caught me without warning.

Kahlil: Well Jimmy do you mind sharing with me how this all came about?

Jimmy: Well Kahlil before I got my degree being a doctor. I was male exotic dancer. I was also a male hooker. Andrew Cunnanen was one of my clients. I met John at a swinger’s party and I was instantly in love with him and I invited him home to my trailer park and we got it on that night. I was parading around the room and John took naked pictures of me with a thong on.

Kahlil: You can spare me the gory details. Anyway Jimmy has a secret that he’s been holding back from John and he’s about to tell him right now. Let me shut my mouth and let Jimmy tell John a secret he’s been hiding.

Jimmy: John you know I love you. I wanted to let you know that you’re not the only man in my life. I wanted to let you know what you were doing to Cindy behind her back when I was the other guy in your life I was also swinging dicks with someone else.

Kahlil: Anyway let’s bring him out. Here’s Sammy!!!!!!

Crowd: AWWWWWW!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Sammy: You thought you was the only guy in his life John. We’re too old farts that like to get our freak on. I can make Jimmy fart when I’m done sticking a penis in his ass.

Cindy: That’s what I’m talking about. Now John how does it feel to be cheated on after you cheated on me? You let this Montgomery Burns wannabe having you believing that you’re the only man he’s seeing and he was going behind your back. Karma’s a bitch ain’t it?

John: You had me believing that we were meant to be together and you were seeing this guy behind my back?!

Kahlil: In case you don’t know Sammy is a judge in the Camden County, NJ Superior Court system. Is it true that you had a thing going on with Judge that was having sex with boys in Russia?

Sammy: That’s true Kahlil!

Kahlil: Were you having sex with boys in Russia too?

Sammy: I’m not that type of girl Kahlil.

John: I wasn’t aware that Jim would cheat me with the Judge.

Kahlil: It seems like nobody is being honest about who’s sleeping with whom.

Jimmy: You got to understand Kahlil that the stakes were high. Since my wife left me for another woman I felt like my calling has been that I find men more attractive. I’m just turned off by women like you stated that you couldn’t see yourself with another black woman because of your bad experiences that’s how I felt about being with a man.

Kahlil: Because your wife left you for another sex than you wanted to see how it was to be with another man? It seems like you were pretty curious to see if this is something you wanted to do.

Jimmy: It was my calling you can say Kahlil. I remember when John and I booked a hotel for the night and I wore that French Maids outfit. See…I go all out for my man and I had deep feelings for Johnny.

John: I felt the same way about you for a long time Jimmy. I never stopped loving you.

Cindy: John you motherfucker! You’re just gonna up and have feelings for this thing like you don’t know we had memories and a family.

John: Cindy!!! Jimmy has a beautiful home in Mt. Laurel and I’m tired of living in that trailer Park we have on Berwyn Road. When we have the divorce settlement I’ll leave you the trailer. It’s like the song in the Jefferson’s I’m moving on up.

Cindy: So it’s like that now. You’re leaving a poor woman like me for a rich man. Look at him he’s running around the stage in a fishnet see through and this is what you want.

Jimmy: If you got it flaunt it honey. He’s more into driving stick than seeing cat if you get what I’m saying. Why have a trailer park tramp when he can have a rich man. I’m his Christmas present and he wants to unwrap that present.

Kahlil: Hmmm! O.K! So Jimmy tell me do you have any wife and kids and what made you interested in men?

Jimmy: Look Kahlil! I got tired of giving and I wanted to receive. I started experimenting by letting my wife stick fingers in my asshole and I guess that’s what made me want to experiment with penises. I love them more when they grow harder in my mouth.

Sammy: I can testify to that. You can take the judges word for it.

Kahlil: It’s a good thing we’re in California instead of Chicago. While it’s on my mind John there’s something that you wanted to tell Jimmy?

John: Jimmy? I want you to know that you’re the greatest guy that I ever met. I can’t see being with another man besides you. Before the state makes gay marriages illegal I want you to be my life partner and marry me?

Cindy: Are you fuckin’ kidding me!!! I have nothing to feel embarrassed about. Now I know how Mrs. McGreevey feels when her husband came out that he’s a Gay American.

John: Cindy stop…this is what I want.

Jimmy: Give it up honey! He’s mine now. He prefers meat over kitten. Besides that I’m cougar ready to pounce so meow baby!

Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhh!!!!

Jimmy: I don’t want to wait another second give me the ring. I want him to have my last name John Cocknonica.

Kahlil: I thought your last name is Canonica?

Jimmy: I changed it to Cocknonica because I’m crazy about cock. Anything associated with dick and I’m fascinated. I was always a fan of Dick Van Dyke. See I like dick and I consider my self a male dyke. Then you got Batman and Robin especially Dick Grayson I got turned on when I see him with those green underpants on. Then you have the South Carolina Gamecocks. I’m always gamed for the cocks. I always wanted to choke the San Diego Chicken.

Kahlil: Jimmy you dirty old man?

John: Now you see why I want to marry that man.

Sammy: I’ll see the ceremony and be the judge that marries them. Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to see this man and this man in holy matrimony. Does anybody object to this man and this man being here today?…Speak now and forever hold your peace?

Cindy: I object!!! John??? You son of a bitch I fuckin’ hate you! Jimmy!!!! I’ll fuckin’ kill you!

Kendall: Watch your mouth! Be careful what you say they’ll have you charged with terroristic threats even if you call them faggots.

Kahlil: Keep proceeding with the ceremony Sammy.

Sammy: Today on the set of The Kahlil Springer Show we are hear to join John Cockschucker and James Cocknonica in holy union in front of man, woman, the judge, the state of California, and god. Jimmy and John have vows they want to recite to one another and would like to share them for the viewers.

Jimmy: John there’s not another man on this earth that hasn’t swept me off my feet the way you did. It’s my honor to myself and to you to honor and love you no other way a man can. You’re 100% man and I’m 100% bitch and you’re the man that completes me. I want to be there for you the way your wife has failed you. I’m your bitch for life. I promise to honor and cherish you. I, Jimmy take you John as my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, through sickness and health til’ death do us part.

John: Jimmy I felt that way about you the first time we had that romantic lunch in your office and how you told me your desires to find a man even if he lives in a trailer park. You weren’t biased towards me and you welcomed me in your heart with open arms. The more time we spent together the more I knew that I married the wrong person and seeing you in that fishnet lingerie makes me even hot for you more. Therefore I’m saying…I John Cockschucker take Jimmy Cocknonica to be my lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Sammy: The rings please! Jimmy place the ring on John’s finger and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed!

Jimmy: With this ring I thee wed.

Cindy: I’m gonna fuckin puke I don’t believe this. My husband is leaving me for another man I should’ve realized there was gonna be some shit that hits the fan when I come on The Kahlil Springer Show.

Crowd: Jimmy’s a homewrecker! Jimmy’s a homewrecker! Jimmy’s a homewrecker!

Cindy: OMG! I’m gonna puke.

Sammy: Now John I want you to place the ring on Jimmy’s finger and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed.

Cindy: John I know that this is not gonna go down like this. We can go to counseling but please don’t marry this man.

John: Cindy it’s over I need you to respect that this is the man I want to be with. With this ring I thee wed.

Sammy: Jimmy and John have professed their love for one another and before myself, these people that witnessed this union and in the state of California until same sex marriages are considered illegal I like to now pronounce you husband and husband. You two men may kiss each other.

(John and Jimmy)

Crowd: Ohhhhhhh!!!!!! KAHLIL! KAHLIL! KAHLIL! KAHLIL!

Kahlil: So Jimmy you and John tied the knot so what’s the first thing you two are gonna do?

Jimmy: I’m gonna feed my man some cake. Come here John so your milf man can set you off on the right foot. Hey Cindy tell your kids that the got a stepfather for their daddy.

Kahlil: By the way for being a guest on The Kahlil Springer Show you two get an all expensed paid trip to San Francisco for a week. SO you two men can go dick swinging with other men down their.

John: Come on Jimmy the limo is waiting on us and the crowd is throwing rotten vegetables instead of throwing rice.

Jimmy: I got my ball gags, dildos, and the butt lubricants I want you in the limo right now. Let’s go!

Kahlil: On a final thought. If a spouse is tired of another spouse then it’s that person’s job to let the other spouse know what they’re feeling at the time. To be blindsided with news that you fallen for another person of the same sex in my eyes may be wrong in the eyes of others what they feel is irrelevant in their view but only will be judged by God when they have to face judgment with their maker. As far as the jilted spouse it isn’t fair to keep them thinking that everything is fine and deep down it isn’t. Sometimes cheating on your spouse is unforgiveable it may be forgiven but it will burn in that back of their mind that it happened and it sure as hell won’t be forgotten. Today in the State of California it may be considered a same sex marriage that’s void and if it is then those two same sex partners will find another state where it will be considered legalized. If the marriage isn’t working let the spouse know where you stand because hiding it will make you feel worse deep inside. One more thing don’t tell your wife that you’re having an affair with another man in the home of your trailer park tell em’ on my show so you can help my ratings and book sales. Take care of yourself and each other.

Excuses and Hypocrisy

(Chapter Three)

In this chapter you best believe that I’m going on the offensive. I’m bringing out a shitload full of bones out of the closet. You got divas that wanna walk around like they’re shit don’t stink but they left a trail full of shit for me to play the world’s greatest detective. I’m not wearing a cape and cowl and I’m from Voorhees not Gotham. It was a matter of time before a skeleton came out your closet and now it’s time for me to clean it for you. I got a major bone to pick with you.

First off I want to dedicate this chapter to Hollie Tucci…Hollie Rebecca whatever your fuckin last name is. Acting like you’re fuckin’ innocent and I gave you too much credit and I was too naïve and now it’s time to pull your card and don’t act like you’re as you claim to be. Just for the record don’t think I don’t hear the snide shit you say behind my back because I’m only an earshot away from Voorhees and Stratford ain’t too far away.

Let’s take this shit back to 2001 shall we. That’s when you first found out that I liked you. You wanna pull me to the side with Sonja there and you want to put up that half grin and say that you had a boyfriend. Oops! My bad I’m not white so I’m not entitled to liking you. I know the truth now that Matt was just a bailout when it came to turning me down because that’s all he was good for.

You have know idea how much of a pill I had to swallow on that particular day. It was no shit off your back because you didn’t walk in my shoes to feel the sting and hurt behind those words. I still remember that day 10 years later and it’s the worse day I had at Phase One. Worse than the day that I got fired.

Like Yvonne Weston once told me that once you’re black you got to work twice as hard to get shit. Give you a teddy bear and all I can get is a thanks and then get shot down a month later. Write a chapter showering you with compliments and all I get is a pat on the head. I nearly broke my neck and exhausted myself on telling you how I felt and it still wasn’t good enough.

I nearly broke down and cried in front of you when you were supposedly trying to console me because I suffered a real disappointment. Once again Kahlil Weston had to suffer another turn down from a girl and he had to hear another lame duck excuse. Deep down in your muthafuckin’ heart knowing that you knew and making me look powerless and helpless and to be honest that day on March 8, 2001 made me wanna throw up.

Kahlil ain’t white!!! I guess I got to be Matt…oh that’s right he was good for you to shoot me down so that’s how you wanted to set up your chess strategy. So that was the card you were gonna play Hollie? I guess that wasn’t the case when you let Brian Mullin take you to bed. Oh contraire mon sere!!! Did I touch a subject that wasn’t suppose to be talked about? Well I feel like there’s a can of worms to open so let me get the can opener a working.

I remember when I confronted you about it and you flat out denied it. I’ve heard rumors about it but I just blew it off because I wanted to believe in what I wanted to believe but then again what does that get me. I tried to take the high road when I heard about it but then again you gave me the benefit of the doubt that I’m not going into this with a heavy heart either. Kahlil is writing with common sense and no remorse. I’m in that dark state to write about this.

Speaking of dark does that mean you did that because I was black because it sounds like it does. If you were ashamed of me liking you then you should’ve came out and said something about it. I guess you had to hide behind Matt as that opt out but that wasn’t the case when you got sexed up by Mullin.

What was the most hurtful thing was that I had to walk around knowing that I liked you and I took it face value. The day after you knew and I felt sick to my stomach looking at you and the embarrassment that went with it. It goes far deeper than you ever imagined and I really don’t think you understand that I cried over that not that I expect any sympathy for that.

This was a vindication for me. I remember talking to Sonja the day after Christmas in 2000 and I was really beaming about you. The day you wanna play the Matthew Rebecca opt out card an hour before you dropped the bomb and made that speech. Low and behold an hour later you wanna use the classic bailout line and of course I’m left there smarting about it.

I speak for a number of niggas in my position who get tired of being rejected over and over again. They have hearts that’s big and they wanna show it but they’re continuously taken for granted. To these snobby ass girls where fuckin one of the little people in their narcissistic world. We get disregarded and passed over like we don’t have feelings like we’re abuse animals.

Here’s the difference between me and you. There were those snide remarks at Phase One when you trashed me in front of Ebonee’. Telling her to don’t trust me and stay away from me. I guess if my name is Matthew Rebecca I wouldn’t trust you for shit. I never thought I would say this but I feel for Matt because who knows if that’s really his son. Believe me my sympathy only goes to him to a degree.

I guess you didn’t believe in me huh? I told you I was gonna be a writer. Not only that but a published one at that. I once told you to pay attention to my mind and stop basing shit off of looks but you never heed to the words I told you. You really think I can’t hold a fuckin’ conversation with you. I could hold a better conversation with the keyboard to my blackberry cell phone than you could with Matt.

Then again a couple of source told me that talking to Matt is like talking to a tree. So don’t give me that shit that he’s such a great guy because I ain’t buying whatever you’re selling. Face it he’s as bland as vanilla extract and by the way you gonna run and tell Andrew because I’m not afraid to take an arrest. Since this the Wes Daddy Mack Hour and it’s 2011 we’ll check on The Kahlil Povich Show that’s slated to come out on The Wes Files due out in 2013.

Please don’t shed a tear over what I’m saying. Take it like a cheater and eat crow. Heh! Heh! Put up the Virgin Mary with me but play the vixen with Brian Mullin. You gave him that shot of ass and he blew you off. I bet you felt small when that happened. Got what he wanted and he stepped off.

Then there was telling people close to you that you feel bad doing that behind Matt like that….

Sure you did cupcake!

That was far from your mind when he left his penis prints around your vagina. Too bad Andrew ain’t a detective to find that skeleton you left in the closet. Maybe he’s not as smart as he thinks but I proved that when I caught him off guard when I told him to tell you that I said hi when he didn’t think I knew who he was.

Enough of this I’m a good ol’ fashioned wholesome girl shit with you. I heard Leeanne is the most normal one out of all you Tuccis. Lets’ cut to the chase and let me say that you were too gullible and stupid to know that Mullin just wanted a shot of ass and you fell for it and all of sudden he don’t know you. Karmas a bitch ain’t it?!

While I’m in the mood to humiliate you. You didn’t think that this picture you put up on Facebook and let me show this to the world what I’m talking about…

Image1.jpg

You only put this up after I had the goods on you. No more showing off the baby picture of that kid that may or not be his but now you want to put up this front. That’s just covering your tracks and all you did was make it look pathetically obvious that I made you blink. I could imagine the red look on your face when I pulled your bones out the closet.

You’re wondering why I’m pulling your card? Damn good reason! You have no idea this hurt that carried in me for all these years. I felt like I had my heart ripped out of me. I really had a good cry over that. If I known I was gonna get that type of excuse I’d rather get turned down and