A Time to Love

By Billie Cantrell McNabb Maguire

It was an age of innocence and sometimes ignorance. I want to memorialize what a wonderful era it was in which to be a child and to grow old. It began as a chronological biography, but that was not the way life is lived. Stuff happens and rehappens, appears and disappears, changes and remains the same. Thus my memories and emotions became a haphazard collection of short sketches and stories. Early on the decision was made to mainly include the good "stuff."

We begin this saga with my grandmother Jenny's story. the matriarch of the clan. "Jenny Cantrell was born October 29, 1858, in a farmhouse near Red Sulphur Springs. She is one-half of a set of twin daughters born to James and Elizabeth Ratliff. Mrs. Cantrell grew up on a farm in Mercer County near Littlesburg. One year a young Charlestonian, James M. Cantrell came to Mercer County "to take an interest in the mines." They fell in love and at 16 years of age, Jenny Ratliff became his bride."

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781463445065

Book preview

Contents

Prologue

Jenny Cantrell

Relatives

Oren Kyle Cantrell

OREN KYLE CANTRELL

Mother’s Family

More changes

Food

Mother

Aunt Zell and Uncle Bill

Jack

Homes I have known

The Neighborhood

The Twilight Zone of our Mayberry Daze

The Story Lady

Boyd Memorial Christian Church

Journey

Cemeteries

Entertainment

Fishing

Canning

Work

Pets

Invited / Invasive Critters I Have Known

Boyfriend

Ray and Billie Jean

The McNabbs

Weddings 1949

Billie Jean Cantrell Has Church Nuptial

Laughing at myself

Love letter

CARL AND BETTY

Ray and Billie’s Thanksgivings

RAY McNABB, 3/14/87

After effects of Ray’s Death

Day 1

by Chuck McNabb

Cindy

Teaching

Random thoughts—May 9, 1986

Ten Things

This was the teacher

CHS Reunion 2010

Serendipity

Bits and Pieces

More Bits ’n Pieces

This ’n That

My second life

Raft trips

Glennguire

June 22, 1998

Cruises I Have Known

Steel Magnolias

Gives Birthday Party

January 19, 2008—Pondering on

being 80

Thoughts on a Gray Rainy Day after my Eighty-second.

RICHES

Talk presented for the CWF at church:

Joy II

Love

YES! I AM READY FOR CHRISTMAS

Ash Wednesday

Dedication and explanation

This collection of my memories, experiences, and thoughts was written for my children, Linda, Nancy and Chuck and is dedicated to them. I have had and continue to have a wonderful life. It has indeed been . . . a time to love. There was never a grand plan with a specific goal, rather things just happened to me and I lived into them and that is how they are written, no special order. All of these MET’s (acronym for the above) are mine and they are not debatable nor negotiable. My husband, Edward, was my sounding board. I probably would never have written it without his helpful comments and encouragement.

There is a time for everything

A time to be born and a time to die

A time to plant and a time to uproot

A time to tear down and a time to build

A time to weep and a time to laugh

A time to mourn and a time to dance

A time to embrace and a time to refrain

A time to search and a time to give up

A time to keep and a time to throw away

A time to tear and a time to m end

A time to be silent and a time to speak

A time to love . . .

Ecclesiastes 3

Prologue

This story has no beginning, no middle, and hopefully no end, at least not for a little while. I decided if I were ever going to do it, I had to start someplace. These are my memories experiences and thoughts. At times I feel my life has just happened to me with very little guidance on my part. First, I was Mother and Daddy’s little girl, then out into the neighborhood and the world of school, church, marriage, work, and another marriage. Now I have grown into my eighties and life is still happening. I just realized I am trying to have a beginning and it won’t work. So I shall simply start with an autobiography I wrote in my sophomore year in high school. It reveals a great deal of what an unsure, gullible girl I was. It will also serve as prologue.

On January 19, 1928, a daughter was born to the Cantrell family of Charleston, West Virginia. I was a great disappointment. They wanted a boy. In fact, they were so sure it was going to be a boy, they already had him named, William Eugene Cantrell. However, a few alternations were made and it is now Billie Jeane. (The e is an affectation added by me.) I must have been an awfully homely baby. I have been reminded many times of my brother’s words when he first saw me, It’s got ears.

I wasn’t blessed with any special talent. I couldn’t sing very well, I took piano lessons, but I wouldn’t practice so I quit. I hated the thought of going to school. I started when I was only four and one half years old. My first day of school was the most miserable day of my life. I cried until I couldn’t talk. The teacher, Mrs. Cook, a sweet little white haired lady, must have thought I was awfully dumb. I couldn’t answer her questions. I went to kindergarten until I was five years old. I always liked it because every afternoon they gave us cookies and milk and put us to bed.

When I was in the second grade I had my tonsils taken out. I was excited because it was the first time I had ever been to the hospital. I talked about it so much people ran when they saw me coming. Well the great day came. Daddy took me in the car. I thought I was going to ride in an ambulance. I went and only stayed one day. There wasn’t anything to talk about. I was so disappointed.

I was awfully young when I was baptized, only 5 years old. I wore a white dress. I still have the dress. There were only a few people present. The church was dark except for the cross above the baptistry. The choir was humming a song very softly. The minister’s words made a deep impression on me and I realized what a great step I had taken.

Until I was in the sixth grade I never thought much of junior high school and then I hated it. I didn’t want to leave Watts. All the children who went to junior high said it was wonderful, no homework and the teachers let you chew gum. So I went to Lincoln Junior High and chewed gum and didn’t do homework. I made terrible grades and the teachers didn’t allow gum-chewing after all.

Our graduation from junior high school was a perfectly dismal affair. All the junior highs held their commencements at the Charleston Municipal Auditorium. It rained and my white dress was practically ruined, my hair was hanging in straight strings, and my feet hurt. I had on pumps and hose. I went straight home after graduation and cried myself to sleep.

Again the next fall I heard the familiar words, no homework and you can chew Gum. I disregarded them this time though and now I am making the B honor roll. I am preparing myself to be a nurse, but someday I want to get married and have four or five children.

How limited my bucket list for life was, but since then it has truly overflowed and I want to share all of it with you, my loved ones.

Too many conflicting emotional interests are insolved for life ever to be wholly acceptable and possibly, it is the mark of the story-teller to rearrange things so that they conform to this end. In any case in talking about the past we lie with every breath we draw.

William Maxwell

Jenny Cantrell

This was taken from a newspaper article about Jenny on her 100th birthday. She was the matriarch of the entire Cantrell clan.

Jenny Ratliff Cantrell was born October 29, 1858, in a farmhouse near Red Sulphur Springs. She is one-half of a set of twin daughters born to James and Elizabeth Ratliff. Mrs. Cantrell grew up on a farm in Mercer County near Littlesburg. One year a young Charlestonian, James M. Cantrell came to Mercer County to take an interest in the mines. they fell in love and at 16 years of age, Jenny Ratliff became his bride.

We lived for a while in a big rooming house in sight of my home, she recalls. After moving about the state for a while the Cantrells came to Charleston. Our first built house was on Crescent Road, but we’ve lived a lot of places. My husband was a contractor and we moved a lot. We’ d live in a house for a while then he’d sell and build us another.

"We had 12 children and that kept me pretty busy. I took all my children with me everywhere I went and we had some good times. When the children were young, we would go for rides on pretty days and have little dinners outside-just me, my husband and the children.

I enjoyed cooking big, nice meals for my family. I could really bake biscuits and they liked them. We didn’t eat sandwiches. We ate meals. I cooked on coal stoves a long time.

Mrs. Cantrell grew up as a Democrat and listens to the political news avidly. She remarked, "I’d rather have a Democrat President but I’m afraid I’m going to have Mr. Nixon. Her last vote was cast for President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

In her younger years Mrs. Cantrell worked happily in flowers and the vegetable garden. She crocheted, did a little sewing for people and was sort of a practical nurse. I started out taking care of sick people to be neighborly. Later, I got a little pay for it.

I can’t remember much about my first car ride, except that it was our car. Never thought I‘d be asked about it. My husband bought one to haul things in and fixed it so the family could ride in it.

Mrs. Cantrell is the oldest charter member of Boyd Memorial Christian Church and for some years belonged to the Methodist Church in Bramwell.

She recalled, We started Boyd Memorial in a little old garage on Indian Avenue then moved it to a little cottage on Delaware Avenue before we built a church. C.N. Williams of Princeton was our first preacher. I’ve loved my church and working for the Lord. The church people visit and bring the church papers. And they bring the Sacrament to me.

I broke my hip six or eight years ago, I’m not sure. I got up one night and just walked off the bed. I don’t know what happened. I was asleep. I hit the floor and that woke me. I haven’t felt real good the last few days. I’m tired and won’t be sorry to go. I’m ready anytime. It’s tiresome to be in bed and not able to do things.

Jenny died five years later at the age of 105.

Relatives

We were surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins by the dozens and grandparents when we were growing up. My world was small and it encased most of my kin.

First to mind are Aunt Nina and Uncle Bub, mother and father to Dink, Betty and Bob. They lived in the house next door. Nina was a happy go lucky housekeeper and Uncle Bub was a mechanic. Later, Nina went to work at the Peoples Store which became Stone and Thomas. I was hired as a twelve year old to babysit Bob and cook dinner for them. You can imagine what I could cook, but Nina never complained. I think she was happy to be dressing up and going out to work each day. My grandmother Jenny later went to live with them and took over housekeeping duties.

Jack and his friends allowed Dink to hang around with them even though he was younger. Betty was too much younger for me to acknowledge and Bob just kind of ran loose. Later Betty was a little too wild for me. We bought an ice cream freezer collaboratively with Nina and Bub. Remember this was the depression and the thing cost at least two dollars. I don’t remember using it with them, but I do remember Mother’s good ice cream. She cooked a semi-thick pudding, let it cool and then added various flavorings. We bought a chunk of ice off the ice truck, added rock salt and cranked for an hour, then packed it and it was probably the best ice cream I ever tasted. Mother always fussed saying they didn’t take care of the freezer like they should. The last batch we made tasted like salt and we discovered a small hole in the works. Thus died the churn.

We also went camping on Coal River with them. What a project that was. We argued and fought with each other so much they packed us up and took us home one weekend. We went with a number of families, the Nelsons and the Prices. Mother and Carrie Price sneaked down to the river one day to go skinny dipping. We promptly followed and spied. They looked like two heads and four big cantaloupes floating in the water.

Bub was a sweet man. I think he worshiped Nina. She was a beauty. I forgot to mention that we all went to the same church. Mother and Nina were in the choir and Bub and Daddy were deacons. Later in life Nina became extremely involved in church work and was even noted citywide for her good works. Mother always felt Nina sort of neglected her family, but they didn’t seem to suffer for they had two Mommy, Jenny. For some reason Mother was extremely jealous of Nina. I even believed at one time that Mother believed Daddy had a crush on Nina, but that certainly wasn’t so.

Dink married Betty Lou Hendricks, his high school sweetheart. He joined the navy and Betty Lou moved in with Nina and Bub. After he returned all they did was argue and finally ended getting a divorce. Dink moved to Ohio and Betty Lou stayed on with Nina who kept their two girls for her while Betty worked. Nina was a wonderful grandmother. Later she kept her great grandchildren for weeks on end in the summers Dink remarried and had a daughter Jennifer. He lost the girls because they went to live with Betty Lou and her new husband and then he lost Jennifer, her husband, and their two children in a mudslide in Puget Sound in Washington. Dink recently died and had his ashes scattered in Puget Sound.

Betty, Dink’s sister married Bill Bloss, her high school sweetheart and had four children, Bill, Kim, Randy, and Doug. Bill was killed in an automobile accident in Florida and Doug is going blind. Ironic because Doug is an ophthalmologist. Bub and Daddy developed Parkinson Disease in their sixties. One doctor had a theory that the infamous influenze in the twenties caused the Parkinson’s. That wasn’t what killed them, but it contributed. I remember staying with Bub in the hospital, when he was taken off his medication, he shook the bed so badly that it would move across the room. I prayed Daddy would not suffer like that and he didn’t. Nina and Thelma were with him constantly in the hospital and one day as they were hovering over him saying, What did you say, we can’t understand you? Bub said, I said, shit, leave me alone. Naturally Nina was insulted, but remember the man was dying. After I married, Nina and I became really close friends and cohorts in many adventures. More about those later when I get to Mother’s side of the family.

Uncle Bill, Daddy’s baby brother, was probably the black sheep of the family. Again an undeclared alcoholic. He was married four times. Always to very pretty women. During WWII he served in the Merchant Marine adding a little mystique to his character. He drank a lot, I’m not sure if he was an alcoholic or not, but he must have come close. Again a very handsome, witty, charming man. I don’t remember any of his wives. He had a daughter Ruth Ann. He died of some sort of cancer. Thelma kept in touch with him even when he didn’t want her to.

Ella, Thelma and Eula were Daddy’s sisters. Ella was the oldest living sibling. Again a heavy drinker. I might mention that most of Daddy’s relatives got religion and stopped drinking. Chester was the only one who drank until he died. Ella had several children and several husbands. She sent three of her sons to Prunytown so they could get an education and have food and clothing. Two of her sons went to California to live, Rebecca and Barbara Ann remained in Charleston. John came home from the reform school and went to Stonewall when Jack did and became an excellent football player. He received a scholarship to some university and became an oral surgeon. Talk about a success story. Barbara Ann was my age and we have kept in touch through the years. She’s a really nice person, but for some reason she resented Mother and Nina and was never really close to the family as a whole. Something about Nina and mother refused her Mother help one time when her family needed it. I’m not sure what happened.

Eula was married to Ernest Cooley. Again she was a partier, but one of those who gave you a wink and a nod before she took a drink and was fun afterwards. She had three children and one husband. The children were Phyllis, David, and Sally. Phyllis and I were exactly the same age. When Mother and Eula were pregnant they had the same doctor and were supposed to go to the same hospital to birth. However, at the last minute Mother decided she couldn’t leave Jack and so she got another doctor and had me at home. I also think Mother was afraid of hospitals. She thought they were a place people went to die, not to get well. Phyllis and David were really nice kids. Sally was a Change baby and seemed to have difficulties from birth. She was what they called a blue baby. I think it meant one who had heart problems. She wasn’t the sharpest tack in the box later in life, but was always happy. David and I have kept in touch through the years.

My grandmother Jenny had thirteen children total, but only the ones I am writing about lived. Jack remembers Bessie, one of Jenny’s who died as an adult. The others died at birth or during the first year or two.

Chester was the oldest boy. He too drank heavily and was an alcoholic, but again, a very nice man. He married a couple of times, but the only wife I remember was Opal. We visited them, but I truly do not remember them coming to our house. They lived in a red brick apartment building on the East End of Charleston for awhile, I thought the apartment was cool. It had quite a few rooms and several built-ins, one was a wood niche in the wall for their telephone. How cool is that? They were older when they had their one and only, Jimmy. He was allergic to regular milk and had to have goats’ milk. So Chester and Opal bought a farm and a herd of goats and were very happy They asked me to spend a week with t hem once and surprisingly. Mother let me. No one could have treated me better. I got to pick strawberries for short cake and milk the goats. I felt like Heidi. Opal also made me chicken a la king over biscuits for breakfast. Talk about a treat. I had a great time and have tried several times since then to find their farm, but couldn’t. Chester died of cirrhosis of the liver.

I have saved Mommy and Poppy for last. Thelma will have a special chapter all her own. Mommy swore Poppy was twenty-five years older than she was, but she lied a lot and we found later that they were pretty close to the same age. Poppy was a building contractor. He went to small mining and lumbering towns in southern West Virginia and built houses, stores, and once an opera house. Nothing grand, more like a small theater. He was gone for months at a time and the boys worked and helped run the house. The girls also worked at home. Mommy was a task master. They lived on a small farm near Edgewood at one time. The entire family gathered there one fall to kill and butcher one of their hogs. The men did the heavy, dirty work killing the hog, stringing him up in a tree, and skinning and gutting him. The women were inside salting and canning the meat as the men butchered the hog. They fried sausage patties, packed them in Mason jars, poured hot grease over them, sealed them and I suppose cold packed them. The women, Mother, Nina, Eula, and Opal all went in the bathroom and smoked when they thought Mommy wasn’t looking, it looked like the house was on fire so much smoke was coming out the window. The females cooked a big meal while all the kids ran around outside just enjoying the excitement of the day and running free and wild. Poppy was a stern looking man, tall and thin, built a lot like Jack. He would let all the grandchildren climb all over him and tell us wonderful stories. He died when I was about six. Mother wouldn’t let me go to the funeral, but she let me go to the funeral home the night before. I played on the porch.

There was no social security at that time, Mommy and Poppy hadn’t saved any money so Mommy became a penniless widow. She lived for a time with her sister Sue and her husband on a farm, but eventually they argued and Mommy had to move on. Daddy, Bub, and Thelma decided to have her come live with each of them for six months at a time. Mommy was something else and delighted in gossiping and causing trouble. I thought she was fun, but her in-laws saw her as trouble and meddlesome. Her visits usually didn’t last six months. When Jack was about thirteen he developed appendicitis, Mother thought he simply had stomach cramps and gave him a whopping dose of Sal Hepatica, a laxative. His appendix burst. There weren’t any miracle drugs for illnesses of that sort so he almost died. Mother stayed with him in the hospital day and night and asked Mommy to come take care of me and the house. When she came home she swore she Could have planted corn in my ears Mommy had let me get so dirty. As I said Mother and Mommy did not get along. Her children finally chipped in and she would rent a room in a big house on the West Side close to Boyd. The houses were always large and sunny and well kept up. Her room was large, clean, and furnished with a bed, dresser, chairs, and a hot plate. She had access to a refrigerator. My visits with her were pleasant and it was much nicer than living with her.

She stayed with Nina and Bub for the longest periods of time because she kept house for them and tended the children. After that wore out she would go back to Sue’s for awhile. I once took one of my boy-friends to visit them on a Sunday. They were living in Madison on a little farm. Their garden was beautiful, but Mommy was not a country girl. She had lived in the city all her life and there wasn’t enough action in the country. The day Dana and I visited she and Sue outdid themselves cooking a big country dinner. They killed one of their chickens and made chicken and dumplings. It was wonderful. I could tell at the time that Sue had had enough of her sister and it was time for her to move on. It didn’t seem to bother Mommy that she couldn’t stay in one place for very long. It was like there are greener pastures to cause trouble in some place else.

When I became engaged to marry Ray my picture and pertinent information were published in the society section of the Sunday newspaper. I received a call from an anonymous caller who said, I have a twelve inch prick and I’m going to f— you. I didn’t know what prick and f— meant, but I could tell by the tone of his voice he was not someone I would want to know. Mommy happened to be on one of her stays at our house and she brusquely explained what the man meant to do and said, Billie Jean you don’t need to worry because there is no man around who has a twelve inch prick. It was Mommy who also explained to me about the birds and bees.

When Mommy was eighty-five she had gall bladder surgery. Remember this is a woman who had thirteen children and this was the first time she had ever been in a hospital. We took turns sitting with her at night in the hospital. She asked me the night I was sitting if I would get her a drink of water because she didn’t want to wake those pretty little nurses for they worked so hard all day they needed their sleep. Mommy bluffed everyone for several years. She was going blind, but managed to take care of herself in one of her sunny rooms, shop for groceries, and attend church and quilt with the girls. Eventually she moved in with Saint Thelma. Daddy and Bub helped pay Thelma’s rent. As Mommy’s sight dimmed, her hearing became more acute. Her bedroom was three rooms back from the front door of Thelma’s apartment and she could identify whoever came in and said hello by their voice. She could hear whispers two rooms away. Thelma worked for a couple of years while Mommy was with her, but gradually Mommy needed more and more care and became bedfast so Thelma quit her job, which she loved, and stayed home with Ginny. Even during her last years, after she was bedfast she was sharp as a tack and still interested in what was going on in her church and in her country. As she lay in bed, probably during her last months, she proclaimed that Nixon was a liar and should not be elected. She was a staunch, radical Roosevelt democrat and no other man could match him We believe Jenny, two Mommy, Mommy lived to be one hundred and five, but remember Mommy lied—a lot.

I never knew Thelma well when I was a child. She and Clifford, her husband, lived in Whitesville, WV when I first remember her. Clifford owned and ran a large furniture store, probably the only one in Whitesville. They were a part of the socially elite. They never owned a house, but they always rented really nice, expensive houses. Clifford was sort of a boom or bust type. They had four children, one of whom died. In case I forget later, all of Daddy’s relatives are buried within a stone’s throw of each other in Spring Hill Cemetery. Close in life, close in death. Thelma’s others were Paul, Jack’s age, Jim, the middle one, and Tom, a little younger than me. The child who died lived only a year or two and I believe he would have been the oldest. When we visited, Thelma always cooked a big dinner, including her special fried chicken, and the adults would sit and talk and the boys and Jack and I would run wild. I do remember once when they came to visit us on Glover Street we roller skated in our bedrooms. Mother said we ruined the hardwood floors and believe me we were properly punished. It was shortly after this that Clifford confessed to Thelma that he had been married before and had a daughter living in Virginia. I remember a number of family conversations about should Thelma divorce Clifford because he lied to her or should she forgive him for not telling her about the marriage. His daughter by his first wife later looked Thelma up and became like a real daughter to her. They visited back and forth and Thelma learned to love her and everybody loved Thelma.

Thelma and Clifford moved to St. Albans and Thelma ran a small restaurant. It was a place all the kids in school hung out. She served mainly hot dogs, hamburgers, and ice cream. Bonnie remembers it. It was called Skeets. They rented one of the cute little houses in Belville Park. Because Clifford had owned a furniture store their place was furnished nicely with solid early American maple pieces. I still have one of her chairs she gave me when she moved to Oregon to be with Paul and Lucky and I bought a small corner cabinet for Linda. Tom attended St. Albans and played football. He was a cute little round-faced kid and he still hasn’t changed much except now he is a millionaire in the recording industry in North Hollywood. Paul married Lucille, Lucky, a wonderful girl from Nitro. She was sixteen or seventeen when they got married and I imagine her family didn’t really approve. Paul attended Morris Harvey College when Jack and I were there and Jack, Paul, and Ray were members of the same fraternity. Ray and I baby sat P. Warren, their baby while they partied. Again Paul was a great deal like Clifford, boom or bust When he finally moved to California he developed a small part for airplanes, sold it to Boeing and had enough money to buy a boat and then retire. For some reason he sued Boeing and after years in court he won the suit and added to his retirement. Ed and I visited Paul and Lucky in Medford, Oregon and had a wonderful time. By the way, he and Lucky had five children, P. Warren, the one Ray and I babysat, and four daughters. Jim just sort of faded into the background. He was always the quiet one. After he moved to Texas, he married Ruth Anne and they had one daughter. Jim never seemed happy and after a number of years, he and Ruth Anne got a divorce and I think Jim pretty well drank himself to death. But he was a sweet man.

Thelma and I became close friends after Ray and I moved back from Huntington to Stricker Road. Clifford had developed lung cancer and Ray and I took turns spelling Thelma from the hospital. It was a horrible death. I was taking Chuck to Helen Conner’s home so she could sit with him while I went to pick up Ray and go to Clifford’s funeral. When I left from Mother’s home to drive past Helen’s I accidentally stepped on the gas instead of the brake as I was trying to pick Chuck up out of the floor, remember this is before seat belts or car seats. I shot over into Aunt Zell’s front yard, cut off a large dogwood tree and ended in her stone planter in front of her kitchen window. Jim came out of his house, backed up the car, took Chuck to Helen and I proceeded to pick up Ray dragging part of the dogwood tree. Ray never asked. Paul and Tom had been in service and then settled in California and Jim had gone to work for Carbide and was living in Texas. Thelma was still taking care of Mommy and running a snack stand in the Medical Arts Building. She would work all day and then go home and take care of her mother. She was about seventy at the time. Some of these ages and times may be screwed up, but for purposes of my narration it’s not too important. Sequence is not as important as substance. By this time Thelma was living on a small social security payment, receiving some help from her children, and Bub and Daddy were still helping on her rent. After Thelma had to quit work to take care of Jenny, Boyd church became her life-saver.

Thelma was by far the prettiest of Daddy’s sisters. She was little and cuddley soft, with dark brown hair and brown eyes. She had a soft voice and I really had to listen closely to hear what she was saying. One of my fondest memories is of watching Thelma and Daddy sitting on my couch talking softly to each other and laughing over secrets they were sharing. Having had more experience in living than most women she was also really wise and a peacemaker. After Daddy died and I was taking care of Mother, Thelma would share her wisdom about needy mothers and how to deal with them. Saturday mornings after I had helped my own mother shower and dress I would visit Thelma, we would have coffee and she would always manage to calm me down and prepare me for another week.

Because all of Thelma’s sons lived out of state Thelma spent all of the holidays with Ray and our family. Thanksgivings were better because she was there, the matriarch. Christmases were special because of her. She would spend Christmas Eve with us and then go home sometime on Christmas day. She never ever overstayed her