Circle of Lies

By Dianne Vega

Each one of us becomes the protagonist of our life story and we must have a part in the saying of its ending. In Hope's life there are memorable times both happy and sad that no one can remake or delete. The panorama consists of life lessons that include personal suffering and growth. There are overlapping layers of Hope's story of betrayal, denial, confusion, lies, and destiny. Her life is infused with memories, feelings,thoughts, and emotions of anger,torment, tears of sorrow and tears of laughter with the unconditional love she had even in the midst of abuse and depression. The circle of lies taught Hope the importance of self-confidence, self-dependability for her well being and happiness, courage with fear, pride, humbleness, self-worth,faith, and fortitude. On the train tracks where she once halted, she tried to go backwards to avoid the unforeseen stop but the day came when the only way was to go around in order to move forward with whatever was left after the wreck. Join me on an unforgettable journey that you or someone you know may have crossed at one point or another. Through the eye of the mind and the window of the soul you shall experience this journey. May thoughts take place, may tears escape, and may smiles unfold with melancholy but most of all reach hope with me through the circle of lies. There were easy lies, complicated lies, and hard truths that Hope had to go through with tattered wings which made it so difficult. The truth is the life goes on even in the time of destruction when Hope's future dreams were taken away and she didn't believe her life would be turned upside down by the love of her life who turned out to be an enemy. She learned the lesson of betrayal and saw lives shattered and new ones rebuilt.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 7, 2012
• ISBN: 9781468523188

Dianne Vega

A proud mother of two young adults. She married at a young age and now lives the single life in her 40's. Learning the lesson that even after life knocks you down one must get back up again. She has to find herself once again with wisdom, hope, and laughter. She has realized that there is no clear map for life but open spaces as she goes through the mazes. Metamorphosis is the key that will unlock hope and set her free with the outlook that although she was betrayed she is not alone.

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© 2012 by Diane Vega. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 02/01/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4685-2317-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-2318-8 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011961867

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Dedication

Chapter 1

The Beginning Of The End

Chapter 2

Going In Circles

Chapter 3

Karma Cameleon

Chapter 4

Liar, Liar Pants On Fire

Chapter 5

Take It As A Vacation

Chapter 6

Terminal D

Dedication

To my loving and strong children Christine and Jose because you are my inspiration, to mom and dad for their support and sacrifices, to my sisters Evey, Linda, and Jasmine for their support, advice, and entertainment, to my grandparents for their advice and prayers, to my friends especially Jeannie, Mattie, Maria, and Anita for listening and pretending to listen when I needed it the most, to Lorraine, other church members, to my longtime friend Melissa because we became stronger women together torn apart by the men we truly loved for many years and our endurance and hope to save our marriages during their mid-life crisis unbelievably at the same time, to the counselors for the compassion I saw in their eyes as well as the baffled looks you didn’t hide, and to the strangers whose support got me through adjusting to my new life because I believe I have had angels placed in the pivotal points of my life and you know who you are, to Brandy, Keisha, and Jeremiah for their love and companionship, to my relentless enemies because without you I wouldn’t have experienced the loss of everything that in reality has the value of nothing for I learned to survive with my losses, to their first lawyer who said adultery is nothing and to their second lawyer for sharing those inspiring words that made me smile on the day I was suppose to cry, for my lawyer who made it possible to be a survivor to fight day by day for myself. To special people placed in my path: Stormie Omartian whom I had the honor of meeting briefly in a powerful church seminar at the most unlikely place, the shining star of the Caribbean. Hector Delgado for the preaching from the heart sermon and the songs that touched my heart and once again being at the right place at the right time. For Joshie, Jessica, and Jesenia because everyone has a story and you are the new life I predicted. To you, the reader, may this story enrapture you and hold a lesson. There is a saying that I hold in my heart with my own twist. Be careful what you wish for because you just may get it and then you realize you messed up but it’s too late and there is no way out but deeper. Because of someone else’s mistakes and my own I reached the abyss but now I fly again. My eyes may hold tears, my heart may be scarred for the rest of my life, but I learned that I will survive on my own.

Bankruptcy is bad, but bankruptcy of the heart is the worst kind.

Diane Vega

Chapter 1

The Beginning Of The End

My name is Hope. Hope Malachi. Remember my name. Many moons and blossomed roses ago I met the love of my life on the night of Valentine’s. Sapphire De Santos played cupid and set me up with Damien Tristan. It was love at first sight and a great love story unfolded. Everyone has a story. My story is my own yet it is a story that may be pieces of you or someone you know. It is a story of a broken marriage, a broken spirit, a broken heart, and broken promises. It is a story of betrayal, abuse, hope, perseverance, and destiny. I had a good life until I felt my world collapsed sooner than I would be able to comprehend. This is the way someone explained it to me. The mirror became shattered. I tried to pick up the pieces but it was never going to be pieced again the same way. Our mirror became distorted. I got cut with the sharp edges as I tried to piece it together again. My beloved Damien picked up some of the pieces and then threw them again whenever he became oblivious to saving our marriage partly due to the distraction of going on another fun adventure. I counted on him to always be there the same way I was there for him through thick and thin. I thought I would die without him because I trusted him and received the shock of my life. There I was without him for the first time in my life until my mother reminded me I was born without him and I could live without him. The love of my life and my best friend was gone and I was in denial as I kept forgiving each abuse thinking his crisis would soon be over. Instead Damien dragged me down into a deeper crisis while he made his way out alone. He didn’t have time to care or worry about food, shelter, respect, responsibility, and loneliness from an abrupt abandonment. I couldn’t understand how someone so loving, calm, quiet, and kind could change and would be taken into such a weakened state. When the man I knew died part of me died with him. With two women in his life he didn’t want to make a choice and seemed to want both worlds. He wanted me to be angry enough to throw him out of the house so he didn’t feel guilty and everyone would know he was kicked out and not that he abandoned his family for baseball games, sex, and money. When push came to shove it happened. I set him free to experience the paid fantasy he so desired. Damien stood confused for too long and when he wouldn’t make a decision one was made for him by his lover. Jezabel Demas hunted her man and took control to make her plans a reality because the clock was ticking. He became weaker and meaner each day that passed. He was seemingly caring at times and callous at other times. He was complacent and at other times rebellious. He fluctuated between being a coward and then being cocky and callous.

The lies took over our lives and almost ended mine. If you have ever lied, you know that it can have a spiraling effect. He began to believe his own lies. I believed his lies because I was in denial that someone I loved would deliberately hurt me and afterwards laugh about it. It was a dark side of someone I thought I knew after twenty-something years. I’d seen that happen before to others but never thought it would happen to him. Damien Tristan became another person. He would have a blank look in his eye, sometimes filled with crocodile tears, and then a smile or a chilling laughter. I stood in denial that our marriage was over and the quick divorce became part of their comedic act. He made excuses for things that I never heard of until after the separation. I made excuses for him because I thought I was seeing pain in his eyes when he told me lies. He made promises and then went back on his word not once, not twice, but continually once the affair was out in the open. Damien claimed that he would make it up to me. The mental games consisted of things he would say and then deny. This person I loved too much and his lover would find pleasure in hurting us without consciously thinking. It was just part of being a silly forty year old. No one else mattered, especially not his family that was in the way of their plans. At least that was the way it seemed, because it would be one drama story after the other. Jezabel Demas, the brazen lover, wouldn’t face me but she’d argue over the phone with my daughter Maricela. She had the audacity to argue with his child and told Maricela to leave him to her since he wasn’t worth it. Jezabel was gutsy and loud for some things, but she didn’t have the guts to ever confront me and yet she did everything in her power to fight for him even if it meant going through our daughter Maricela to break up our family once and for all. When he chose to betray his lovely Maricela by defending his sweet poisoned Jezabel I knew we were in deep trouble. Damien and Maricela had a very close father-daughter relationship, but he chose his lover Jezabel over her too. As for our son Alex, he basically left him behind in the shadows and they grew further apart with time with each careless action or lie. Damien would lie to them any chance he got but he had to still love them of course yet his pride took over and he chose his new life without Alex and Maricela as well when he forgot me. If there is any love left he hid it very well because there are people watching him and he must uphold a certain uncaring macho image. It was hard for him in the beginning to be without them until one day he stopped missing them because it was easier on him if they didn’t bother him or get him in trouble. Jezabel would be jealous and offended if they didn’t love or respect her as well because she felt threatened by a love much greater that she had to kill. Jezabel succeeded in blocking out Maricela and Alex the same way she did with me. The love we had was so great that we could’ve been friends had only Damien spoken the truth and not let the malicious thoughts become a reality. I was not the one who did wrong but he forgot that. His pride and fear would not let him remedy the situation and the water washed out the blood. He abandoned his beloved Maricela and Alex as unbelievable as that was it became a reality because he became all he said he would never be. Soon enough all of his time was occupied by the new wife and babies so that was the end of that. Before Joshie, Jessica, and Jesenia came along, there were already excuses to be unreachable and they grew with each passing day. He would screen his calls so that if it was me, the children, or our relatives he would let it go into his voicemail. If it was his lover he would answer or text her when he could talk and meet her at work. While he was with her, he would tell me he left his phone in the car or simply let it go to voicemail as his phone sat on the nightstand in her bedroom. Things became the most absurd, when on an occasion he stopped calling me for a few days and then he told me that his phone accidentally went on a plane to China! It made me laugh but I still wanted to believe it as pathetic as it may sound now.

My hope still existed across the miles and each night we talked when the conversations were over I’d go outside to see the moon and wish on the stars that he would see light again. I still believed it was possible for him to regain his conscious and do the right thing. Whenever I listened to him at times my mind wandered at how he could’ve been ridiculing me in front of their co-workers if they heard this story. Of course later in time there would be other jokes Jezabel and Damien shared such as the bloody divorce cakes they thought were so funny. I was devastated but I vowed that since they loved them I would buy them one as a gift. One with the groom being hammered would have been the appropriate one for them. The bridal shower cake would’ve been the one with a line of co-workers who also visited her at the office right behind her.

Although at the later point he lived and worked with her, Damien managed to sneak calls to me while out at a store or in the bathroom at work. It would always be at his convenience whenever a memory came back to him in between trips. It was at these moments that he was able to break free for a little while and in which he actually remembered me and our children. We would find out about some of their travels from the itineraries, pictures, or friends. When we didn’t hear from him for days, it meant he was on another paid adventure. During the baseball game trips in the Big Apple and hotel vacations at Disney World or visits to her family for help to make their dreams come true there would be no calls for days. It was unpredictable when we would hear from him unless he was hungry or remembered us once he returned from the fun times. Damien called me until the day our love had no stronghold. That day came after my second hospitalization for depression due to the traumatic events in which I couldn’t handle one more secret or lie. I couldn’t take another lie and the wasted days of waiting for a job transfer that didn’t exist. It didn’t matter that I had come to terms with the unstoppable birth of the first baby and that I went as far as to tell him I would love it and treat it as my own child. It was too hard to leave her and he wouldn’t do it because it would’ve meant leaving the baby, his job, a free home, and the plans they had made. Although it was true, Damien would negate what was done because in his mind he fooled himself as well up to a certain point. He