On this episode of “The Language of Love,” I talk with a caller who says she is struggling to have any interest in love or romance. She is raising her children on her own, and although she feels like she might want to have love again, she has no interest or openness when it comes to the idea of letting someone new into her life.
My caller says she has a great fear of commitment, and whenever things start to get very serious, she pulls away and puts up walls to protect herself.
She believes this fear may come from her traumatic childhood. She has no memories of ever meeting her father, because he abandoned the family before she ever got to know him. When her mother remarried, she unfortunately picked a man who struggled with alcoholism. Due to his alcoholism, their childhood never felt safe or stable. She and her sister would hide in their rooms to escape from the drinking and his abusive behavior. Meanwhile, their mother was completely codependent and unable to withstand his abuse or prioritize her own kids’ needs over her marriage. No matter what happened, her mother would take him back in. Things got so bad that their mother even tried to take her own life, leaving her children to carry the weight of this great trauma and fear.
Although their family now gets along and appears to be a supportive, healthy family, this trauma is buried deep within the surface and prevents my caller from being access her capacity for love and whole-heartedness. These wounds may have happened decades ago, but these events are still preventing any forward momentum for the now adult children who are unable to let themselves have the healing they so deserve.
Listen to this episode to hear my advice for my this caller and how she begin to heal and care for her inner child and finally release these deep wounds.
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