Ebook304 pages5 hours
Am I a Good Girl Yet?: Childhood Abuse Had Shattered Her. What Would It Take to Make Her Whole?
By Carolyn Bramhall and Neil T. Anderson
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
()
About this ebook
High-pitched screams explode into the air, unrelenting, shot through with blind terror. A wounded animal? A torture chamber?
A calm voice interrupts the heart-chilling cries, reassuring my reluctant, listening ears that the victim is in a safe place. But her fearful trauma haunts me, echoing in every straining sinew of my mind.
I switch the tape off and lean back on the cushions of the over-stuffed armchair to better ponder what I have just heard. Those screams belonged to a small child just a child
mercilessly gripped in the vice of uncontrollable and devastating fear. What atrocity would have caused such a violent outburst? What unmentionable evil warped her budding innocence? Can I bear to hear more?
Trembling, I stretch over and turn the tape on again, pushing the limits of my endurance to listen to more of this nerve-wringing tirade. I lean forward, muscles tense, temples throbbing, mouth dry. At last the screams fade to a whimper, as a steady male voice soothes the young victim. His words unruffled, constant. Her small, high whine gradually lulls to a moan, pathetic and painful. Weary wails struggle, exhausted, from the tape player on the coffee table in front of me: No moreno more No, no more. Silence.
He continues his balm of words: You are just remembering, just remembering; Im here. You are safe now. That was all a long time ago. Its all just a memory. No one is going to hurt you anymore. No-one. Youre safe now.
My unconscious sigh of relief jolts me back to the present and once again I stoop to switch off the tape, my shaking spirit daring my mind to consider the ghastly implications of what I have just heard.
Will that child ever be able to describe what she has seen? Will she ever be allowed to express what was done to her? Will she ever be able to feel joy, freedom?
And who is that child?
I struggle intensely with that last question, horribly aware that I know the answer, though even yet desperately clinging onto the breaking branch of my unbelief. I know her well oh, how well I know her! I have heard her screams often.
That child is me
A calm voice interrupts the heart-chilling cries, reassuring my reluctant, listening ears that the victim is in a safe place. But her fearful trauma haunts me, echoing in every straining sinew of my mind.
I switch the tape off and lean back on the cushions of the over-stuffed armchair to better ponder what I have just heard. Those screams belonged to a small child just a child
mercilessly gripped in the vice of uncontrollable and devastating fear. What atrocity would have caused such a violent outburst? What unmentionable evil warped her budding innocence? Can I bear to hear more?
Trembling, I stretch over and turn the tape on again, pushing the limits of my endurance to listen to more of this nerve-wringing tirade. I lean forward, muscles tense, temples throbbing, mouth dry. At last the screams fade to a whimper, as a steady male voice soothes the young victim. His words unruffled, constant. Her small, high whine gradually lulls to a moan, pathetic and painful. Weary wails struggle, exhausted, from the tape player on the coffee table in front of me: No moreno more No, no more. Silence.
He continues his balm of words: You are just remembering, just remembering; Im here. You are safe now. That was all a long time ago. Its all just a memory. No one is going to hurt you anymore. No-one. Youre safe now.
My unconscious sigh of relief jolts me back to the present and once again I stoop to switch off the tape, my shaking spirit daring my mind to consider the ghastly implications of what I have just heard.
Will that child ever be able to describe what she has seen? Will she ever be allowed to express what was done to her? Will she ever be able to feel joy, freedom?
And who is that child?
I struggle intensely with that last question, horribly aware that I know the answer, though even yet desperately clinging onto the breaking branch of my unbelief. I know her well oh, how well I know her! I have heard her screams often.
That child is me
Author
Carolyn Bramhall
Carolyn Bramhall lives in Newbury, Berks, and has an extensive speaking and pastoral ministry in connection with Freedom in Christ Ministries
Read more from Carolyn Bramhall
Am I A Good Girl Yet?: Childhood abuse had shattered her. Could she ever be whole? Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Connecting the Fragments: Freedom for People with Dissociative Identity Disorder in the Context of the Local Church Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Am I a Good Girl Yet?
Related ebooks
If He Doesn't Deliver Domestic Violence in the Religious Home Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Beautiful Boy: Ray's Story Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Boy Who Never Cried Wolf: By Grace He Survived Ten Years with a Child Predator. by Providence He Now Hunts Them Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTriumph (Second Edition): A Journey of Healing from Incest Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMichelle's Story: One Woman's Escape from a Lifetime of Abuse Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Teacher Who Broke the Rules: An Upsetting Story of Child Abuse, Manipulation and Blackmail Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHe Created Us to Victimize Us: The Shaffers’ True Biography of Horror Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5Something About Those Eyes Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Confessions By An Abused Boy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Silenced Child: Secrets & Lies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBrave and Unbroken: The True Story of Survival After Incest and Loss Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Girl in the Mirror Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDid You Think I Would Tell?: Memoir of Childhood Tragedy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe First Day of the Rest of My Life: Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI Am A Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5The Girl Nobody Wants Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Stolen Halo Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I Did Tell, I Did: The True Story Of A Little Girl Betrayed By Those Who Should Have Loved Her Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStolen Innocence: A Pedophile Exposed Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I Died a Little Every Night Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Born Into Hell Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sarah's Diary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMummy, There's a Devil in my Room Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Can't You See Me Scream? Discovering the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBreaking the Chain: Abuse, Revenge, Redemption - The True Story of a Damaged Childhood Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Cry Myself to Sleep: He had to escape. They would never hurt him again. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Prison Without Bars:The Journey of a Damaged Woman to Someplace Normal Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Boys Don't Tell: Ending the Silence of Abuse Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Forbidden Memories: A Memoir Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Nobody Told Me Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Biography & Memoir For You
A Stolen Life: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Good Girls Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5People, Places, Things: My Human Landmarks Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Why Fish Don't Exist: A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Jack Reacher Reading Order: The Complete Lee Child’s Reading List Of Jack Reacher Series Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Disorganized Mind: Coaching Your ADHD Brain to Take Control of Your Time, Tasks, and Talents Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Disloyal: A Memoir: The True Story of the Former Personal Attorney to President Donald J. Trump Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Working Stiff: Two Years, 262 Bodies, and the Making of a Medical Examiner Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Finding Freedom: Harry and Meghan and the Making of a Modern Royal Family Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Meditations: Complete and Unabridged Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leonardo da Vinci Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Crack In Creation: Gene Editing and the Unthinkable Power to Control Evolution Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Diary of a Young Girl Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Seven Pillars of Wisdom (Rediscovered Books): A Triumph Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Just Mercy: a story of justice and redemption Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Indifferent Stars Above: The Harrowing Saga of the Donner Party Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All That Remains: A Renowned Forensic Scientist on Death, Mortality, and Solving Crimes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Ivy League Counterfeiter Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Wright Brothers Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Amateur: A True Story About What Makes a Man Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5South to America: A Journey Below the Mason-Dixon to Understand the Soul of a Nation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers: Spiritual Insights from the World's Most Beloved Neighbor Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Am I a Good Girl Yet?
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
2 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Am I a Good Girl Yet? - Carolyn Bramhall
Oa book_preview_excerpt.html |ےF@/kYVgCh(5٣5kL6PO݇ӗ9= $/cU ~;~_oởT_ }_8#0C>?Vz3UKb.cU4+C5qJj<]5Ph)4U]0em1)=>)ߋ?~/]ԦI[1"=m?lY-U1
~BsSd;uL
4s?ĝ~!UФ_1p}|w]o"vv/xv]&=~I<)O ;]wju_T4we/mskCצΩ}_c4cLx1's;Cw6?إ1\y8&,>+Ap?@glBuC({8͂؆Q¥)}w
HE>rk1S O|:5@OcWE;AxPJM]OILU2S_c
y %4P9{
3~"
+gFJN1u'Șbi
<*?Bt )掊XހC##k2a)q
SPzr_@?!
sl?g_rL_O/P0Sxrxٶqb9?w;ʗmpu_O^pGM.#$D-VvJpk679ǎ^=Tn{/Y9+
cGp6~AVK(K,\^Svdk(
1b.tO}_$X+Gbꡇb.3+4ve9ZA"CbFMU9u$'G(ͷ}ȟ//u4IC
J(=r_aWxk*7O
h aZDsy~.!2@}d齋Ɛ(:"c&0c0839Ri