The Year She Stopped to Pray

By Bonnie Taylor

As a child, Bonnie Taylor was looking for a friend to play with, and she ended up kidnapped by her neighbor. Her innocence was stolen, and she was violently abused. She believed for many years that she fled from Mr. Blacks house unharmed, but she lived in deception.
A few months later, two men kidnapped her father from their home in the middle of the night, and he was shot as
he escaped.
After her Dads shooting, Bonnies family started to unravel, and she reached out to God for help. She believed that God rejected, abandoned, and betrayed her when the opposite of what she asked Him for happened. She came to her own conclusion, and she believed that God could not be trusted to love or take care of her.
After decades of trying to survive and failing miserably, she begged God to show her if He was real and if He loved her. He reached down and took her to Himself, and she was offered the opportunity of her lifetime.
She found healing, deliverance, and restoration as she went through a year of devastation and personal loss. The truth about her childhood was uncovered, and His love for her was discovered.
If youve ever wondered if God is real, or if you think you are too far gone to be reached, then this challenge to believe is for you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Aug 15, 2012
• ISBN: 9781449762360

Bonnie Taylor

About the AuthorBonnie Taylor is the author of the Not Forgotten paranormal seriesBonnie resides in central Louisiana with her three children, five dogs, a cat, and a parrot who frequently pulls the keys off her keyboard, (talk about an intense critic!)Bonnie writes about subjects that she is passionate about. As an avid horror/paranormal fan and having experienced unexplained phenomena first hand, Bonnie has done extensive research on the subject and has made a personal connection with several noted psychics and paranormal investigators.

Book preview

The Year She Stopped To 

Pray

Bonnie Taylor

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Copyright © 2012 Bonnie Taylor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

ISBN: 978-1-4497-6234-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-6236-0 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-6235-3 (hc)

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2012914092

WestBow Press rev. date: 08/10/2012

Contents

A Note From The Author

Acknowledgements

Introduction

1.   To Every Thing There Is A Season, And A Time To Every Purpose Under the Heaven

2.   A Time To Be Born, And A Time To Die

3.   A Time To Plant, And A Time To Pluck Up That Which Is Planted

4.   A Time To Kill, And A Time To Heal

5.   A Time To Break Down, And A Time To Build Up

6.   A Time To Weep, And A Time To Laugh

7.   A Time To Mourn, And A Time To Dance

8.   A Time To Cast Away Stones, And A Time To Gather Stones Together

9.   A Time To Embrace, And A Time To Refrain From Embracing

10.   A Time To Get, And A Time To Loose

11.   A Time To Keep, And A Time To Cast Away

12.   A Time To Rend, And A Time To Sew

13.   A Time To Keep Silence, And A Time To Speak

14.   A Time To Love, And A Time To Hate

15.   A Time Of War, And A Time Of Peace

16.   Epilogue: He Hath Made Every Thing Beautiful In His Time

It is my pleasure to dedicate this book, with so much love, to

Billie Sue Collins Caples.

She gave me life and did the best that she could under unbelievable circumstances.

I am very thankful for her love, her understanding, and her kindness throughout my life.

I pray that the Lord richly blesses her now and always.

A Note From The Author

This book reveals the truth of my experience as I was brought from deaths door to real life in Jesus Christ. This story was almost unbelievable at times to experience, and I can only imagine what it might seem like for you, the reader. I keep in mind that God isn’t bound by my limitations because, He’s All Powerful, He’s All Knowing, and He’s Ever Present. He can do as He desires at any given moment, and His magnificence makes our possibilities limitless.

I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I could be loved so much. I never expected the opportunity to experience the healing power of Jesus Christ. I’ve learned that if we dare to be bold enough to ask Him to change our lives, and make our lives worth living, we can have an astonishing journey with a true life long friend.

I finally believe that Jesus loves me, and I am convinced that He loves us more than our human minds can comprehend. He is no respecter of persons, and He is willing to meet each one of us right where we are if we invite Him. His love and compassion are astounding!

It is my greatest desire that your heart will be stretched to experience Him in a new and fresh way. I pray that as you explore these pages you will find greater freedom to trust Him, believe Him, and love Him. May you discover how much He longs to share more of Himself with you, and He wants to be a treasured part of your everyday life. I hope you will be ministered to, and I sincerely pray that He changes your life!

God’s Friend, Bonnie Taylor

Acknowledgements

Bob, you truly are the love of my life, and I thank-you for loving me so thoroughly, selflessly, and consistently. You are an instrument of God’s grace. I found a safe place to let the concrete barricades in my life come down because of your patience, compassion, and prayers. God’s great love expressed in you made it possible for me to surrender myself wholeheartedly to Him to be saved, delivered, and healed. You are my precious soul mate, a treasured gift, and I love and cherish you completely!

I give my heart felt thanks to Bobby, Brian, Stevie, and Chris. I held on tight to the dream of being a mom one day, and God blessed me with each of you. You have made my life so rich, full, and joyful. It is my privilege to be your mom. We have shared so much together, and I thank you for making me smile so often! I love you!

Dad, I am so pleased God allowed you many more years of life after all that you went through. I am blessed to still have a father that’s funny, gentle, kind, and easy to love. I am so thankful you’re my dad, and I am so glad to be your daughter. I love you!

Bobbie, I thank you for showing me kindness throughout the years. My heart turned toward you from the first day we met. You taught me many lessons as I grew up, and you have been a wonderful mom to me. You worked very hard for our family, and I love and appreciate you very much!

I thank Pastors Larry Dale Combs, Charlie O’Neal, and Graham and Mary Harvey. During this season you were very kind, compassionate, and selfless. I knew that God’s love for me was great, because He surrounded me with each of you. I was blessed with many hours of wise counsel, friendship, and love. Bless you!

I thank Charlotte O’Neal, TJ Elliot, and my church family from Calvary Memorial Baptist Church. The Lord placed me amongst precious people as I healed, and I carry a special love for you in my heart.

Introduction

TO EVERY thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silent, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, KJV)

Have you ever longed for a season in your life where you could actually meet Him? You have probably heard of Him. In fact, you may already have a relationship with Him. I am talking about God, not just any God, but, Almighty God, the Creator of heaven and earth!

Have you ever needed Him to show you that He is real? I did; I needed a miracle. Once and for all, I needed the question answered, Are You real, and do You really love me? I could not afford to play games any longer, and I could not go on living in a fantasy land of my own making. I needed to know the truth. He came and answered my desperate cry, and He is waiting to answer you.

I promised God that I would go anywhere and do anything if He would only love me, and I asked Him to show me that He is real. By the way, be careful what you ask for. Ha, He will take you up on your offer, and you will need to make good on your promise!

My answers came after growing up with a shattered heart. I was kidnapped and sexually abused by my neighbor when I was a small child. The abuse was so severe that it caused brain damage, and the severing in my soul left me to do the best I could with an emotional handicap. I dreamed numerous haunting nightmares for many years, but I couldn’t remember the details once I awoke. You will see in this story that I firmly believed that I escaped from the neighbor’s house unharmed. I could not recall the truth until decades later when I came into a relationship with Jesus Christ.

My father was kidnapped from our home in the middle of the night a few months after I was abused. He jumped out of the abductors van, and they shot him. Thankfully, he recovered, but our shaken family was dismantled. A short time later my parents made the decision to divorce.

For decades I don’t know that I ever muttered any words from my mouth, but I cried for help from my broken imprisoned soul. I had heard of The One that people referred to as God, but I never believed for a second that He wanted me. I could not understand why God allows such devastating things to happen to little children, especially when He claims to really love them.

In desperation I had an outright truthful prayer session on my knees at an altar with Jesus. I confessed to Him every failure, disappointment, and dashed dream that I wrestled against. Crying from the depths of my heart I declared, I want You whether You want me or not. I have tried to embrace the idea that You might love me, and I have started attending church dozens of times in search of you. Something bad happens to me every time that I try, and I don’t understand why. Don’t you want me? I only want you to love me too.

Satan, the enemy of my soul, never wanted me to believe that God loves me. Instead, he hounded me with lies of God’s rejection, abandonment, and hatred of me. Let the record state that Satan did not win; here is the proof!

God gave me an amazing season of love and intimacy. I was introduced to Jesus Christ, baptized in the Holy Spirit, and shown the love of my precious Heavenly Father.

I spent a special year praying and experiencing Jesus’ presence as He uncovered the truth and made me whole once again. It was not easy to go through the painful process of healing. Nine of my precious family members and friends passed away in nine months. There were days that I thought would never end, but I’m very thankful for my journey.

I found out that there is a season, time, and purpose under the heavens for each one of us, but a season of love with Him never has to end!

Chapter 1

To Every Thing There Is A Season, And A Time To Every Purpose Under the Heaven

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23:1-6, KJV)

I was lying on the forest green carpet of our living room floor in a coma like state. Pastor Ben and his wife Susie sat on my left side, and my husband Bob held my hand on the right. I was conscious of my surroundings, but I was unable to open my eyes, talk, or move. My body tingled as I felt completely enveloped by His power. I heard His voice as He recited Scripture. I silently questioned, Why is the Lord reading the twenty-third Psalm to me? He has never read Scripture to me like this before. I asked, What does this mean, Lord? Pastor Ben spoke a Word from the Lord out loud. He said, You have been avoiding a path, and He is beckoning you today to go down the path. You are going down a path that no one can go with you. Do not be afraid. My angels will be all around you. They’ll be in the bushes and in the tree tops.

A picture instantly came to mind. A saw a little girl standing at the entrance of a giant forest on a beautiful fall day. A winding pathway made of concrete divided the trees. It looked picture perfect the way the trees canopied over the passageway, but the woods appeared to grow darker the farther away from the entrance she went. I looked a little closer, and I realized that the little girl was me. A massive reluctance instantly surfaced inside. Suddenly, I appeared small and vulnerable compared to the oversized forest in front of me. Something in me feared being in these woods alone. I sensed that I had been there too many times before, and I quickly contemplated whether to run. I thought about running through the forest in front of me as fast as I could, and I thought about running away from the path in the opposite direction through the tall grass. Finally, I decided it was best to calm down before I completely allowed my courage to be squashed. Taking one tiny step at a time with great caution seemed like the safest option. I took a deep breathe to help me relax. I grew more and more curious as I pondered my thoughts. I wondered, What is God up to?

Before this Word from the Lord was given, I experienced a hesitation in my heart, and I had a growing suspicion that something was about to change my life. My nauseous stomach was a constant reminder that kept me on guard. I paid attention to everything going on around me to see if I could discern what was ahead. I sensed that God moved me nine miles out of the city and into the country so He could deal with me. I felt a deep stirring in my heart. I believed I was on the verge of experiencing the opportunity of a lifetime that He brilliantly set up. He was the only one that could possibly understand my desperation and desire to be rescued. I’d spent my whole life silently crying and praying for His help. I wanted one chance to be freed from my internal prison. I found myself wondering if this was my break through. I asked, Could this actually be happening? I knew that fixing someone like me would literally take an act of God!

After our time of prayer ended, Ben and Susie went back to our church to prepare for the evening worship service. They left me in good hands-My Bob stayed by my side. I eventually regained the ability to move my body, and he helped me up from the floor. We went to our bedroom to dress for church.

I’d recently purchased a new black dress to wear because several of my family members and friends were critically ill. I wanted to be prepared to pack and leave in a moments notice. I followed the urge to try on my new dress after scanning my clothes for something to wear that evening. I wondered if the color black was too dark for a beautiful spring evening, but I quickly dismissed the thought. I was sure that my first occasion to wear it had arrived. I sensed a peace when I looked in the mirror, and that peace further sealed my decision. The black dress made quite a statement, and I took a new stance as I wore it. I felt unusually bold.

It was hard to escape Ben’s confused look from the pulpit that night as he watched me walk into our church sanctuary. I was completely dressed in black, and I took my seat in the pew as a woman in mourning.

During church that evening I rehearsed the words spoken to me from the Lord. I continued to review His words over and over during the following days. I wondered, What path will I be traveling? What is going to happen to me? Will I be forever changed? I have time spaces and places in my childhood where I can’t give any account for my life, but doesn’t everyone? I thought my life was normal-like everyone else’s.

I didn’t have a clue what was about to take place. I did know that the thoughts of traveling this path alone aroused alot of fear. I always considered myself to be a people person-I loved people. I constantly surrounded myself with plenty of people to feed my loneliness wound. I talked on the phone, had company come to my house, or went to other people’s homes to visit. I’d spent too much time in my life painfully lonely, and there were times that I wondered if I would absolutely crumble into millions of pieces and disintegrate. I never wanted to experience the depths of loneliness again. Therefore, I did not allow myself the opportunity to be still or alone. Honestly speaking, I found myself pretty exhausting.

I felt restless not knowing what was about to happen, and I impatiently waited for my journey to begin. I could not shake the feeling that I was about to face a dark secret that would hurt deeply. It felt like something powerful enough to shake the very core of my being. I was so convinced of it that I asked, Lord, are you about to tell me something that I don’t want to know? I sensed a deep sorrow beginning to surround my heart, and I also perceived an apparent somberness in the Lord’s voice when He spoke. The only thing I knew for certain was that He had my full attention, and I was waiting on Him. This new season, time, and purpose encroached upon the door to my heart.

Chapter 2

A Time To Be Born,

And A Time To Die

I hoped to trigger what the Lord might be up to, and I spent some quiet time dwelling on my earliest childhood memories. My life started in a suburb outside of Chicago, Illinois. I was born at Cook County hospital. I loved our house on South Highland in Oak Park. I lived there with my Mom and Dad, my older sister Kim, and my younger sister Tracey. Mom was married once before she met my father. She came into the marriage with two daughters named Susan and Diane. They lived with their father and stepmother, but they came for visitation every once in awhile. My Dad was married once before he met my mother. He had two sons named Van and Phil, but I hadn’t ever met them.

My Dad earned a living as a painter and decorator of houses and apartments. Mom was a homemaker, and she helped Dad with his painting business. They worked very hard, played, and enjoyed one another. They won several nice trophies from bowling together in a league. They went on vacations, and they appeared to be happily married.

We lived in a nice house that had white stucco on the outside, a fenced in back yard, and a garage. Our two story house had a big basement. We used it when tornado sirens sounded, our laundry needed to be washed and dried, or we needed a good hiding place during a game of hide and seek. I remember the awesome laundry shoot in the hall closet on the second story. We loved to put our clothes, sheets, and pillows down the shoot. We watched as they dropped all the way to the basement. On occasion we put my little sister Tracey down the shoot. When she got stuck, we threw our toys on top of her until the build up was high enough for us to push her on through. She had a padded landing onto the pillows and blankets until the toys crashed on top of her. It didn’t appear to hurt her.

My best childhood memory happened on my sixth birthday. My parents took me to a gas station to wait for my surprise. My friends started showing up, and then a loud fire truck came. My friends and I climbed into the back of the fire truck, and we sat down on a bench seat. With full sirens blaring, we rode to a kid’s amusement park called, Kiddie Land. It was a blast and the most excellent birthday surprise! I spent hours smiling, laughing, and riding most of the rides with my best friend Laura. I learned early on that birthdays are meant to be celebrated! It only takes a few friends, cake and ice cream, a present or two, and a great family! I was completely saturated in happiness when that celebration ended. I actually shouted, If I died today, I’d die the happiest girl that ever lived! That birthday surprise forever took its place in my memory! Unfortunately, it was one of the last terrific days that I would remember from my childhood in Oak Park. Everything went terribly wrong, and my beautiful family was destroyed over the next couple of years.

Three specific events hug my memory, and these experiences dismantled my childhood. The first incident took place during late fall when I was around seven years old. My mom was recovering from surgery, and I was outside playing. I decided to go to our neighbor’s house to see if Teah could come out to play. Her house was close to ours, and I knew that I could hear my mom or dad if they yelled for me to come home. I knew from seeing Teah around the neighborhood that she looked old enough to be a babysitter. I hoped that she was home, and I hoped that she just might want to play.

I climbed the tall stairs leading to Teah’s front door, and I rang the door bell. Teah’s father, Mr. Black, answered the door, and I asked him if Teah could come outside and play. He told me that she could, and he invited me inside to wait for her. I stepped through the front door never giving any thought to the rules my parents taught me